It has to matter

        "It has to matter."
        Those wise words from my husband have stuck with me these past few weeks.  Today, I just heard him repeat them again:  "It has to matter."
        You see, a few weeks back, discouragement was dogging my steps.  Nothing big causing it--just some relatively little disappointments, minor frustrations,  small setbacks.  In other words, life.
        Yet for some reason, I suppose the cumulative effect of it all was to wear me down and result in a loss of perspective.  Discouragement causes amnesia...we forget God's presence, His extravagant goodness, His amazing grace, His infinite love, His continual care.
       And tragically, replacing our trust in our Good, Good Shepherd is an ugly "what have You done for me lately attitude."  Ugh!  We can be staring at an endless ocean of His blessings...yet all we can see is a tiny, shrinking tidal puddle of our "problems."
       I desperately needed a perspective correction.  Maybe another way to say this is: I needed to recognize my selfishness and sin and repent!  Sure, we can't help how we feel...but we sure can help how we respond to our feelings.  We can help what words we will speak to our hearts--whether words of Truth or of deception.  We choose our response--whether of faith or fear, of gratitude or grumbling.       This is why the gift of other believers in our lives is so essential.  Sometimes we can't see it.  We lose the forest for the trees, the ocean for the puddle, and we need a brother or sister to remind us of what's really true.  Of Who's really in control.  Of how blessed we really are.
       That's what my dear husband did for me a few weeks back.  He reminded me of what I knew...but had shamefully forgotten:  God's goodness.  His forgiveness.  His love.  His faithfulness.  And all His extraordinary gifts in our lives.  And then he showed me the picture he keeps on his cell phone as his background photo: Janie lying in that ICU.  Unconscious.  Unresponsive.  Tubes everywhere.  
       "It has to matter," he said.  We cannot forget what great, wondrous things God has done in our lives...it has to matter today.  We cannot forget.  We dare not forget.
        He said the same thing today, as he was sharing about a bout with discouragement which had assailed him today.  But he had remembered.  Like David in the Old Testament, my husband "strengthened himself in the Lord."(I Sam.30:6)  He had reminded himself of God's Truth.  Of God's utterly underserved grace.  Of answered prayer.  Of food on the table.  Of friends to love.  Of children and family to cherish.  Of health and strength.   Of the bloody cross and the empty tomb.  Of costly grace and glorious freedom in Christ.
        As Tim Keller says, we need to know and remember "both how lost and how loved we are."  When we recall--as John Newton shared at the very end of his life--that we are great sinners but that Christ is an even greater Savior, we are transformed from people of discouragement to people of overflowing thankfulness.  Rather than being absorbed with toxic self-preoccupation, we are filled with love and happy other-centeredness.   And oh my, that is a place of such freedom and joy!
       "It has to matter"--what Christ has accomplished for you on the cross.  What God has done in your life.  What the Lord has so generously and undeservedly given you--
        It.  Has. To. Matter.
       To God be the glory.
       
       

The Door

         "I am the door.  If anyone enters by Me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture.  The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy.  I came that they may have life and have it abundantly." (John 10:9-10)
          That's it.  That's the bottom line.  Jesus is the door--He is the way, the truth, and the life and no one comes to the Father except through Him. (John 14:6)  He's the door to abundant Life with a capital "L."  Not perfect life, mind you.  Not trouble-free life.  Not "health and wealth" life.  But full, joyful, peaceful, hopeful, infinitely rich, deep, and glorious Life.  And Life that just barely begins, that just barely scratches the surface of the abundant Life He promises for eternity.
         The other night, my husband and I watched in utter amazement as the space station streaked across the dark skies.  Think of it--to be able to look up into that vast, dazzling heaven and see a piece of equipment flying 249 miles above the earth at a stunning 17,227 miles per hour.  And there are people living and breathing inside that flying, floating piece of metal!
         As we stared, we felt this immense sense of wonder--awe at the staggering immensity of God's creation and at it's remarkable beauty.  Goodness gracious!  The stars, the moon, the planets--they're all up there night after night for every one of us to see...yet how often we fail to notice?  How on earth could we miss such a shockingly wondrous display?  How can we glance up with a ho hum attitude at such stunning sights, such immeasurable distances, such profound and silent beauty?
        If we slow down long enough to truly see and consider what we're gazing at in the heavens, then we cannot help but give praise to the almighty, omnipotent, glorious Creator and Sustainer of such wonders. Yes, it's so true, "The heavens declare the glory of God and the sky above proclaims His handiwork.  Day to day pours our speech and night to night reveals knowledge."(Ps.19:1-2)
        And yet, that ineffable, uncontainable, unimaginably powerful and huge Creator knows us each by name.  Knows every hair on our heads.  Knows when we lie down and when we get up.  Knows when we're delighted and when we're discouraged.  Knows when we're excited and when we're exhausted.
        And He has provided the way of salvation, the way of abundant Life, the way of indefatigable joy for each and every one of us through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.  Gigantic enough to create the vast heavens with a word...yet personal enough to know, love, forgive, and save each one of us individually.  Such is our God and there is none other!
        Don't take it for granted.  Don't take it lightly.  And don't miss it!  Gladly enter by the Door God has graciously given us in His Son.
        Look up at the glorious heavens and remember that the infinite and omnipotent Creator of the farthest galaxy sees, knows, and loves you.  And He is your Door to abundant, eternal life.  
        To God be the glory.

Beginning Mark...

                            A little food for weekend thought--

        I've started reading through the gospel of Mark, since we're going to be studying it in our Bible study beginning this fall.  And boy, what a gospel particularly geared to our constantly connected and wired, our ever moving and restless culture.  Why?  Because Mark simply blasts off from the very first chapter!  It's action, action, action.  No prologue, no introduction.  Nope, it's as if Mark knows the glorious news of Jesus Christ is simply too wonderful, too astounding, too earth shattering to wait for even a moment.  So from the very first verse, Mark launches into the gospel of Jesus Christ--and at a breakneck pace.  

        In the first chapter alone, you find the word "immediately" at least 9 times (and that doesn't include the phrase "at once" which is used as well).  For instance, Jesus is baptized...and "immediately" the Spirit drives Him out into the wilderness.  He calls His first disciples...and "immediately" they left their nets and followed Him.  Jesus enters a synagogue in Capernaum...and "immediately" meets a demon possessed man, whom He heals.  It's just boom, boom, boom...one action and miracle after another.  If the book of Mark can't hold your attention, well then, I doubt even an gigantic dose of ADD medication could help you! 

       But how thankful I am for Mark's clear portrait of the Lord Jesus--the Savior who served...and the Servant who saved.  He is the King with supreme power over sickness and sin, but also the Servant who says, He "came not to be served but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many." (Mk 10:45)

       And this portrait of a Savior who serves and Servant who saves demands a response.  How can we read about who Jesus is and what He did and not respond?  Forgive us, Father, for how often our response to Jesus is "ho hum."  Our worship half-hearted.  Our obedience hit or miss.  Our love lukewarm.  No, no, no!

      If He is the sovereign King, Creator, Redeemer, and Savior--and He is--then like those disciples in Mark, chapter 1,  when Jesus calls, we should--we must--follow.  And follow "immediately," wholeheartedly, and joyfully!  Goodness, this convicted me to my toes!  Shallow me who is so often distracted, preoccupied, impatient, and half-hearted in my love for and obedience to my King.  May it never be, Lord! 

      Here's what N.T. Wright says: "How can you live with the terrifying thought that the hurricane has become human, that fire has become flesh, that life itself became life and walked in our midst? Christianity either means that, or it means nothing. It is either the most devastating disclosure of the deepest reality of the world, or it is a sham, a nonsense, a bit of deceitful playacting. Most of us, unable to cope with saying either of those things, condemn ourselves to live in the shallow world in between."

         And Tim Keller responds: "I believe you'll see that in the end, you can't simply like anybody who makes claims like those of Jesus. Either He's a wicked liar or a crazy person and you should have nothing to do with Him, or He is who He says He is and your whole life has to revolve around Him and you have to throw everything at His feet and say 'Command me.' Or do you live in that misty 'world in between' that Wright says no one can live in with integrity? Do you pray to Jesus when you're in trouble, and otherwise mostly ignore Him because you get busy? Either Jesus can't hear you because He's not who he says He is-or if He is who He says He is, He must become the still point of your turning world, the center around which your entire life revolves."

        That's the bottom line in all of life for all of humanity, isn't it?  Might we see and recognize Jesus this day for Who He truly is--the King of Kings and Lord of Lords--and then fall at His feet, saying "Command me."  He is infinitely worthy and gloriously wonderful.    

        To God be the glory.  

Wisteria and dependence

     

        I love Wisteria vines.  I love their bright purple color.  I love their fragrant perfume.  I love their graceful clusters of blooms.  I love the fact that they are one of the earliest heralds of spring.  I love that you often see them blooming away next to busy streets or even highways.  No highfalutin' garden required--just sun, soil, and a nearby bush or tree or fence.
         And that leads to another thing I love about Wisteria--the very fact that their vines must have something to cling to in order to grow.    
       Wisteria don't just spring out of the ground and develop into bushes or trees.  Nope, no such thing as a Wisteria shrub.  Instead, their vines search for sturdy bushes or trees to twist around and cling to so that they can survive and grow.  You'll never find a lone ranger Wisteria--they've gotta find something to climb upon in dependence.  But once the Wisteria discovers it's host, well, it's off to the races, producing blooms that will knock your socks off.
       Despite their showy--look at me!--appearance, I guess you could say Wisteria are actually highly dependent, needy plants who truly need community!      
        Sound familiar?  What a vivid picture of how we bloom and flourish when we daily, moment-by-moment, look to and depend upon the Lord Jesus.  We need to be in community as well--first and foremost in community with the One who made us, knows us perfectly, and loves us infinitely.  But secondly, in community with other believers.  We need one another--to encourage when we're struggling, to correct when we're going off base, to strengthen when we're feeling weak, and to laugh, cry, learn, and share life with day by day.
         Boy, I've learned the hard way that whenever I try to figure out life all on my own...or grit it out with my ceaseless striving...or simply ignore God's Word and ways and determine to strike out all on my own, well, it's pretty much always a mess.  A discouraging, exhausting, lonely, ugly, unhappy mess.
        Oh goodness, it's so silly, so sad, to grimly go it alone when God offers us an infinitely better way: look to and depend upon Him.  His enabling power.  His amazing grace.  His wonderful wisdom.  His glorious promises.  And His sovereign, perfect plans and ways.  And secondly, to share our struggles and sorrows, our joys and triumphs with one another.  God made the mathematics of community--sorrows shared are diminished but joys shared multiply exponentially!
        And what's our job?  Abide in Him.  "Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in Me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing." (John 15:4-5)
         We're to abide in Him. Walk with Him.  Follow and trust and depend upon Him...like that Wisteria vine looking for a tree or bush to cling to in dependency.  When we depend upon Him then we'll flourish and bloom wherever He chooses to put us.
         Thank You, Lord, for community--with You and with others.  Help us to abide in and walk with You moment-by-moment, and enable us to love and share with the people You've so graciously placed in our life.  Teach us the joy of godly dependence.
        And thank You, Father, for Your astounding, wondrous creation...including Wisteria!
       To God be the glory.

Footprints revisited

                      A little food for weekend thought--

        You've probably heard or read the famous "Footprints" poem...and it's a good one.  But I read this version by Mark Littleton a while back and loved it, so I thought I might share it for a little relaxing, end-of-the-weekend encouragement.

        "Imagine you and the Lord Jesus walking down the road together. For much of the way, the Lord's footprints go along steadily, consistently, rarely varying the pace. But your prints are a disorganized stream of zigzags, starts, stops, turnarounds, circles, departures and returns. For much of the way it seems to go like this. But gradually, your footprints come more in line with the Lord's, soon paralleling His consistently. You and Jesus are walking as true friends.
        This seems perfect, but then an interesting thing happens: your footprints that once etched the sand next to the Master's are now walking precisely in His steps. Inside His larger footprints is the small 'sand print', safely enclosed. You and Jesus are becoming one.
        This goes on for many miles. But gradually you notice another change. The footprint inside the larger footprint seems to grow larger. Eventually it disappears altogether. There is only one set of footprints. They have become one.
        Again, this goes on for a long time. But then something awful happens. The second set of footprints is back. And this time it seems even worse. Zigzags all over the place. Stops. Starts. Deep gashes in the sand. A veritable mess of prints. You're amazed and shocked. But this is the end of your dream.
       Now you speak. 'Lord, I understand the first scene with the zigzags and fits and starts and so on. I was a new Christian, just learning. But You walked on through the storm and helped me learn to walk with You.'
      'That is correct.'
      'Yes, and when the smaller footprints were inside of Yours, I was actually learning to walk in Your steps. I followed You very closely.'
      'Very good. You have understood everything so far.'
      'Then the smaller footprints grew and eventually filled in with Yours. I suppose that I was actually growing so much that I was becoming like you in every way.'
       'Precisely.'
       'But this is my question. Lord.. Was there a regression or something? The footprints went back to two, and this time it was worse than the first.'
       The Lord smiles, then laughs. 'You didn't know?'
       He says. 'That was when we danced.'

       Thank You, Father, for the reminder that You are sovereign and in complete control of all our days and all our ways.  Help us to trust even when we cannot understand...for You are always at work...for our good, for Your glory.  Thank You that even in the darkness, You are teaching us to dance.  And one glorious day, oh my, what a joyful, victorious, unending dance that will be!  
       To God be the glory.

Springtime...and beginning again!

   

        Spring.  What a gift from our Giver of all good gifts.
        The astounding beauty of bursting buds, fragrant flowers, and vibrant green surrounds us at every turn.  Winter's doldrums and drabness are quite literally overwhelmed with new life and lovely colors.  It's a glorious symphony for the senses.
        But if you ask me, one of the greatest treasures bestowed by spring is her giant finger pointing to our God of Resurrection.  Our God of second, third...and fiftieth chances.  Our God of fresh starts and new beginnings.  Oh thank You, Father.
       It's just been one of those weeks where I allowed my circumstances to dictate my spirits.  So many ultimately silly, superficial things got me "down and out."  And boy, discouragement not only keeps you self-focused and self-preoccupied (never, ever a good thing!), but it anesthetizes you to God's goodness and faithfulness.  In fact, discouragement makes us into amnesiacs: we forget how good and great and gracious our Almighty God is.  We forget Him.  We forget His gifts.  We forget His omnipotence.  We forget His love.  We forget His forgiveness.  And we forget His Word...and worship...and thankfulness.
       That's where I'd momentarily landed...until my good, good Father reminded me--through His Word and through His springtime world--to return to Him and start afresh.  Begin anew.  And find new life and renewed hope.
         Sometimes, it's simply a matter, like the prodigal son, of turning back toward home.  Heading back toward Your Heavenly Father.
        Put down the to-do list and open up the Word.  Shut down the negative self chatter in your mind and replace it with God's Truth.  Kneel in repentance and prayer rather than indulge in worry and self-pity.
        Choose to abide in the Word so you can think rightly.
        Here's how the Scriptures put it: "Abide in Me, and I in you.  As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me." (John 15:4)  And "Let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom." (Col.3:16)  And "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind that by testing, you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." (Rom.12:2)
         If you want your mind--and thus, your thoughts--renewed and revived, then you must be transformed by the Word.  Meaning: open it up and spend time in it.
        Yep, gotta abide in the Word, so we can think rightly. Because it all, all, all begins in our thoughts.  And we have the daily choice--will we allowed our thoughts to be shaped by our circumstances or by God's Truth?  Will our thoughts be controlled by the world or the Word?
       John Stott put it this way: "Sow a thought, reap an action. Sow an action, reap a habit.  Sow a habit, reap a character. Sow a character, reap a destiny."
       Today, right this very minute, is the perfect time to start anew!  As Francis de Sales said, "There is no better means of progress in the spiritual life [or in any aspect of life whatsoever!] than to be continually beginning afresh."
       Begin now!  Start fresh reaping a destiny by sowing a thought...a thought born, nurtured and strengthened by the redeeming, reviving, renewing Word of God.
       To God--the Lord of ever-new beginnings and resurrection life--be all the glory.
     

Thankful for the Tar Heels

         There will be days and nights like this.  When your heart feels broken in a million pieces, and you can't decide whether to cry in sorrow or in angry disappointment.  When you know it's just a game.  Just a silly game...but still, you can't help but love, really love that team, so you desperately want them to win.  When you feel it all the way down to your bones--your love for the team, for the school, for the place, for the deep friendships born and fostered there, for the children and spouses and sisters and brothers and dear friends with whom you share that cherished bond.
         And it's just hard.  Yeah sure, I know it's just a basketball game.  Yes, it's just a sporting event.  And yes, in light of all that's going on this often difficult, dark planet, to get upset over the outcome of a mere sports spectacle might seem superficial and even ridiculous.  I know, know, know all that in my head. But my heart, oh my heart hurts.  And so do, I'm betting, the hearts of all those who love the school, the place, the team, the family, the friendships.  And you still come down to the fact that it's hard to see dreams die and hopes dashed for those you love, enjoy, and respect.
        But oh goodness, in the midst of our collective Tar Heel grieving today, there's so much gratitude.  So much thankfulness to be a part of this enormously huge, diverse, sometimes crazy family.  So much pride in the perseverance and refuse-to-ever-give-up effort of this group of guys.
       What a reminder that life is full of ups and downs.  Whether it's in sports...or health...or relationships...or finances...or life and death issues that confront all of us.  None of us gets out of this thing unscathed.  We'll all endure our share of high, glorious mountaintops and deep, discouraging valleys.  Until we get to heaven, you can count on it.
       And that's one of many great lessons that sports can teach us--you win some, you lose some.  You persevere through the happy and the hard.  You do your very best...and sometimes, many times, that's not quite enough.  And then you can choose how to respond--with thankfulness or bitterness.  With good sportsmanship or with grumbling and blame.  I confess to my great shame that I initially failed that test last night...well, and at first, this morning too.
       But then our great God of grace reminded me to be thankful in all things.  To look past the gift of sports to the Giver of all good things, including sports.  To be incredibly grateful for the joy of cheering my heart out for this team.  For the joy of sharing these games and these moments with the people I love.  For the joy of seeing and hearing and watching and feeling and yelling and laughing and crying.  For the treasure of emotions--both of feeling great happiness and joy...but also of feeling strong and deep disappointment, even sorrow.
        Aren't you glad God didn't make us automatons with no ability to feel?  Aren't you thankful we can cry with awe and astonished joy, but also weep with sadness and broken-heartedness?   I wouldn't trade either emotion for anything in this universe!  If it means I get to experience awe and wonder and joy and astonishment, well then, I'll take the sorrow and discouragement and disappointments of life.  And the Lord teaches and shapes and grows us through every single one of them.
        So thank You, Father, thank You.
        Thank You for the Tar Heels. Thank You for this team.  Thank You that we got to enjoy this wild and fun ride.  Thank You for family and friends with whom to share it all.  Thank You for feelings to experience it all.  Thank You for teaching us what it means to persevere in the battles of our daily lives.  Thank You for the highs and the lows...and for being with us in the midst of every single one of them.  Always and forever.
         To God be the glory.
       

On leaving and loving

          Leaving Charlotte and riding the train back to Raleigh.  As I gaze out the window, watching the lovely, green North Carolina countryside slip by, my heart is full.  Full of thanksgiving.  Full of love.  Full of the recognition of God's unbelievable and relentless grace in all of our lives.  Full of joy, though tinged with a touch of the bittersweet.
         For you see, I'm returning from a weekend visit with our oldest daughter and her husband and our oldest son, all of whom live in Charlotte.  We're a "divide and conquer" family this weekend as my husband's at a golf tournament with our youngest child while our two other children are in Chapel Hill.  So, pretty much all over the state this weekend.  But what joy to be able to spend some time with our Charlotte crew and experience a bit of their life in the big city.  And it was a wonderful weekend!

(couldn't resist this one--taken last night on Franklin St. when the heels won to get to the final game!  Just enjoying it while it lasts!)

        Yet that's where the bittersweet mixes with the joy--leaving those you love is just never fun...even when you're returning to an equally special place like home and containing equally beloved and cherished people.  I guess I'd just love for all of us to be together all of the time--sharing, laughing, eating, enjoying, walking together through all of life...
        ...but then, that would be heaven, wouldn't it?    What a place that will be!
        So as I sit here leaving some I love behind and returning to others I love ahead, I simply say thank You to my Heavenly Father.  Thank You for this brief but beautiful dance on Your planet, Lord. Thank You for Your gifts upon gifts upon gifts.
        Countless gifts...but today, I'm thinking of Your gifts of people and relationships.  Thank You for husband, children, sisters, brothers, friends, acquaintances.  Thank You for those who have gone ahead of us into heaven--parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, beloved friends.  Thank You for the joy of loving others and being loved...even when it hurts.  Even when we fail.  Even we have to say "I'm sorry" or "Please forgive me" or "Let's try again and do better next time" or "Goodbye" or "I miss you."
        Tim Keller says that "If this world was made by a triune God, relationships of love are what life is really all about."  Loving God, first and foremost, and loving others.  And Paul tells us in I Corinthians 13 that even if we're the wisest or most faithful or most successful or most amazing anything, if we're not people characterized by love--by love more than anything else--then we might as well be out there banging and clanging and annoying the fool out of everyone.
        So Lord, thank You for those we love...and please, please, help us, teach us, enable us to love them fully and well.  Help us to set aside our selfishness, critical spirits, foolish pride. and busy preoccupation so that we can all love like Jesus loved You and You loved Him.  An others focused love.  A self-denying love.  An others glorifying love,  An others serving love.
       As Paul prayed in Philippians 1: "I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine for you all making my prayer with joy...And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Christ Jesus. It is right for me to feel this way about you all, because I hold you in my heart, for you are all partakers with me of grace..."
       Yes, Father, that is our prayer for those we love.  Thank You for love.  Teach us to love.  Help us to love.  Empower us to love.  In the coming and the going.  In the high times and the hard times.  Today and every day...love.  
       To God be the glory.