The Day after the Best Day of My Life!

Well, it was just hard to write anything yesterday, since I had just enjoyed "the best day of my life" the day before. I've noticed it can be a little challenging to stay at the very tippy top of the mountain for very long--especially when you have children. One minute you are reveling in the joy and wonder of your little ones, because they have written you a sweet note or actually cleaned up their room without you nagging them (this, theoretically, could happen) or talked to you about their day in full sentences with real, actual information or sat at the dinner table and laughed and talked for a while even after wolfing down their food or offered to clean up the kitchen (and then actually followed through and did it--completely) or been kind and encouraging to their sibling. Now, granted, these wondrous occurrences may not happen on a daily basis, but the fact that they do happen gives us such hope, such a deep seated joy that we are carried along for days... well, maybe hours... or minutes, for sure.

But, I am so convicted at how quickly I can plummet off the mountain peak and down into the "Valley of Despond" (or the Valley of Disgust or the Valley of Desperation). I don't want my joy, my contentment to be determined by whether my teenager happens to be in a good mood or by whether the house is messy or by whether the weather is crummy or by whether I am tired and am having a really bad hair day (which, for me, fortunately is never a problem since I am used to have daily bad hair days). You fill in the blank--what is it that steals your joy and your peace and your trust in Your sovereign Lord? A struggling child, a health scare, a strained relationship, a cluttered home, a fearful and unknown future, a lack of energy or finances or perspective?

Isn't it amazing how quickly we can go from a settled peace, a happy contentedness to frustration, irritation, envy, worry? And you know, I really think the bottom line for me is that when I plummet, it's because I've taken my focus off my Savior and put it squarely on my circumstances. I somehow refuse to trust that His plan is perfect in that moment, and that those annoying or disappointing or even crushing circumstances cannot possibly be for my best or that of my loved one. Ultimately, it's all a matter of refusing to trust Him, isn't' it? Selfish, prideful girl that I am, I think my way, my comfort, my desire is better and more important that Him and His ways.

This made me think of a wonderful quote by Peter Kreeft that I recently read in the book One Thousand Gifts: "No one who ever said to God, 'Thy will be done,' and meant it with all his heart, ever failed to find joy--not just in heaven, or even down the road in the future in this world, but in this world at this very moment. Every other Christian who has ever lived has found exactly the same thing in his own experience. It is an experiment that has been performed over and over again billions of times, always with the same result."

If I truly trust God and His perfect plans in every single moment of my mundane, O so daily, day, then all my plummeting will cease. Because I can know that He is in control of my teenagers and the weather and the safety and the health of loved ones and... well, everything. We cannot control how those we love will respond. But we can control how we will respond. We cannot get everything done that we need to get done... but we can do whatever He enables us to get done with the strength He has given us and trust Him with the stuff left undone. We cannot heal that illness or damaged relationship or annoying habit, but we can do whatever He calls us to do and then hand the whole mess to Him and choose to trust that He can and will do whatever we can't. We cannot protect our children or our loved ones every moment of the day, but we can entrust them to Him and trust that He who knows all and can do all, loves them far better than we ever could and that He is working and moving in their lives in ways we cannot see or know (just as He is in our lives).

So today, I am choosing to trust Him. Trust His love. Trust His plans. Trust His ways and His work. And trust, moment by mundane moment, that He will enable me to keep trusting Him even when it is hard or goes against my feelings or desires. Help us to trust, You, Lord! Help us to keep saying over and over again, "This is from You, and I trust You, Lord." Help us to trust You this day. This hour. This minute. To Him who is Worthy of all our trust, be all the glory.

The Best Day of My Life!

Today, I think I have pretty much passed the threshold of middle age--contrary to my assertion the other day. I am 23 years older than Princess Katherine (who also has a birthday today!), and I don't think most people live to the age of 106 (you do the math). But maybe I could coin a new phrase--"advanced middle age." I don't know, that still sounds awfully OLD! But my slightly more "advanced" and "perfected" sister (isn't that a much better way to look at it? After all, Lord willing, we are all growing in grace and godliness and wisdom--qualities which matter far far more than wrinkles, faltering memories, and creaky knees. Boy this is a long parenthesis!) began signing her emails, after her most recent birthday, "Mary Norris, 62." I love that! So, I'm declaring, 53 and thankful for it! 53 and grateful for every year filled with dear friends and family, good health, various sweet pets, incredible parents and siblings, fun trips, memorable holidays, warm, comfortable homes, great schooling, priceless husband and irreplaceable, precious-beyond-words children (this list is not in order), and, of course, the "Indescribable Gift" of the Lord Jesus!

Our children always write birthday notes to us (okay, with some gentle persuasion from mom or dad), and I have saved them all... somewhere in my stuff. Truly treasures, every single one of them! But I have to reprint our 10 year old's letter that I opened this morning, misspellings and all:

"Dear Mom, Happy Birthday! Thank so much for helping me and feeding me and so much more! I hope you get what you want! You help all of us when we are sik or heart. [Spelling is not our strong suit] Thank you so much for comeing watch us play sports. I hope this is the best day of your life and best birthday ever. We no you are going to love your presents. Happy birthday! Love, Peter" [Did I mention that spelling is most definitely not our strong suit? But we make up for it in sweetness! At least Peter does, anyway.]

Now first off, I'm glad he's grateful we feed him! So right off the bat, the bar is obviously set pretty low for old Mom, and I'm thankful I have met the challenge: we feed our children and help them when they are sick or hurt. And please don't forget I attend their sporting events--mother of the year, here I come!

But I especially loved "I hope this is the best day of your life and best birthday ever." O for the precious perspective of a child! When you get to be my age, another year added onto your age tends not to be a tremendous cause for rejoicing. The birthday cards about aging are all hilarious... sort of... and you are just thankful to still be here for another year, but otherwise, growing older can be, hmmm, well, somewhat challenging.

Yet as I thought about sweet Peter's words, I felt overwhelmed with the knowledge and the gratitude, that this is, indeed, "the best day of my life." Here's what I am doing for my birthday: going to a family event at one of my children's schools, doing laundry, cleaning up the children's rooms (Lord have mercy), walking our ever-slowing sweet old dog, Moses, eating lunch with my wonderful sister and a dear friend, carpooling, doctor's appointment for a child, laundry, cleaning up, writing (yeah!!), helping with homework (Lord have mercy, again), laundry, cleaning up, going to Cloos Coney Island Hot Dogs for my birthday dinner with my husband and our children, watching our son's city league basketball game, reading to our youngest in bed (truly one of very favorite times of the day--thank You Lord!), making lunches, laundry, cleaning up, world's hottest bath (thank You Lord, again!), read for 2 and a half minutes before falling sound asleep.

Now admittedly, Donald Trump or Paris Hilton might not think that would constitute the best day of their lives, but let me tell you something, it doesn't get any better than this. No kidding. I'll admit, sometimes that is not my perspective. Sometimes I forget how ridiculously blessed I am by my extravagant, awesome Lord. Sometimes I see laundry and carpooling and doctor's appointments and cleaning as some kind of interruption or irritation that hinder what I should really be doing (which is, who on earth knows what).

I forget that my Savior who formed the stars and planets with a mere word and then flung them into space and who knows every hair on every head in the world, picked up a towel and washed filthy feet of clueless, unreliable, sometimes unfaithful disciples (John 13). I forget that He is not only my Savior, my Redeemer, my dearest Friend and ever faithful Companion, my Creator, my Sustainer, my Master, but He is also my example: "Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interest, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though He was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made Himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted Him and bestowed on Him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee would bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father." (Phil.2:3-11)

Such is my God and there is none other. Who could not love such a Savior?

And remind me again, why do I think I am too big for my britches? What chore, what act of service is too insignificant for me when I follow and love the Lord-who-washes-filthy-feet? What interruption, always divinely appointed by my sovereign Savior, should not be my joyful priority since it is a way to serve and love the people He has so graciously, undeservedly, and lovingly placed in my life?

I don't have to do laundry. I get to wash and fold and match socks for big and little feet of the people I love with all my heart and soul. I don't have to clean or carpool or cook. I get to love and serve and help and nourish the most important, the dearest of eternal souls in this world. I get to go to the grocery store or the doctor's office or the school or the drug store to see and to encourage and to care for beloved, unique, priceless people that the Lord Jesus adores and came to seek and to save. And I get to love and serve and follow my Master, my Savior, my Lord every single day of my life. What an unspeakable privilege! What a life!

So, yes, Peter, today is the best day of my life, and I thank the Lord that this is my best birthday ever! And as long as I have breath in me, might I rejoice that this day, this hour, this moment, is "the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it!" (Ps.118:24) To the Almighty God who came to serve and to save, be all the glory forever.

The God of the Impossible

I just spoke with one of my dearest friends and just learned of God answering prayer in the lives of some other friends. We have been praying for a long time--I've prayed, my husband has prayed faithfully every single day, friends have prayed. But honestly, the situation looked utterly hopeless. And much to my shame, I prayed... but without much true trust. I knew God could do it, but deep down inside, I think I doubted He would do it. Shame on me. We worship an Almighty God who can do anything and everything--and I think I had forgotten that. And I think I had forgotten about the awesome power of prayer. We need to stop second guessing our prayers. Stop trying to edit them to allow God wriggle room--which is really wiggle room for our doubts and fears--and just pray fervently and trustingly in our Heavenly Father who delights to answer in BIG ways!

I couldn't help but think of Charles Hadden Spurgeon. One day he was with a group of seminary students and called on one of them to pray for some need. The young man went on and on, using big words and big titles for God, and finally Spurgeon interrupted him. "Young man, just call Him 'Father,' and ask Him for something." We need to ask Him and not be afraid to ask Him for the impossible! Another one of my very favorite quotes is from D.L. Moody: "If God be your partner, make large plans." O Lord, help us to make large plans, because we trust fully in You, the ultimate Planner and Controller and Enabler!

"For nothing is impossible with God." Luke 1:37 I'm trying to figure out what is excluded from "nothing!" Hmm, I'm thinking the Greek for "nothing" is "nothing." Or how about Jesus' words, "With man this is impossible, but with God, all things are possible." Mt.19:26 Can you figure out how to limit the word "all?" I sure can't. God can do all things... or another way to put that would be "God can do ALL THINGS!" He can heal and restore bodies, marriages, hearts, minds, relationships, memories and on and on.

The question is, will we pray in faith, trusting that He who knows all and can do all, will provide the most perfect outcome? It may not be the outcome we would choose, but if He has all knowledge, all power, and all love, we can place it in His hands with child-like trust and abandon. You know, sometimes it's easier doing this with the big things than it is with the little things. It can be easier, I've found, to hand Him that loved one's serious illness and trust Him with the result than to hand Him my child's poor attitude or my overburdened schedule or my frustrating habits of clutter or procrastination or reacting rather than being proactive. My tendency, when things go awry, is to default to doubt and worry rather than immediately responding with trustful prayer and worship that my God is Almighty and active and able.

Ralph Waldo Emerson once wrote, "All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen." Look around you. Just this morning, I looked up in the predawn darkness and saw the most spectacular, glowing harvest moon that hovered low in the sky so all could see it and marvel. What kind of God can make something so glorious?! Our God who can do all things and delights to make a creation for His created ones to enjoy! When we see answered prayer, we need to stop and thank Him and remember those answers to fortify us for the times when the answers seem a bit longer in coming... at least according to our timetable. The hug of a child, the phone call of encouragement, the blessing of a book, the laughter in the midst of stress, the gift of a song in our sorrow, the impossible made possible by our loving Father--we must choose to see, really see, and then translate each into trust for the Omnipotent Hand that provided each one.

So today, might we choose to trust the God of the Impossible--in the big and scary and hard places of our lives, but also in the mundane and the minutia. He cares about it all; He hears it all; and He has all the power to do it all, in His perfect wisdom and love. To our Heavenly Father be all the glory.

Older!

The other day, several of our children and my husband, Richard, and I went to get passports. I actually have a passport... but it expired a mere 33 years ago! Good grief, I am old as dirt. My husband kindly pointed out that middle age is typically considered up until the age of 39--meaning we are no longer middle age but now in the old age category. Fortunately I googled this horrifying misinformation and was able to correct him. Happily, we are still firmly in the middle age category, with a few years to spare. Whew, what a relief. Who ever thought one could be happy to be considered middle aged.

But getting back to the passport, the photograph, o my stars, my photograph clearly fell into the might-terrify-young-children classification. When I glimpsed with horror the ancient face peering back at me from the photo, I was stunned. "Please tell me I don't look like this!" I told my family. "O no, you don't look like that at all," was the kind but completely untrue answer. Right, sure. I just had my picture taken for this passport the day before yesterday at the UPS store, but I'm sure it doesn't actually reflect my youthful good looks. Wonder what was wrong with that camera? Funny how the children's photographs looked great and seemed like a mighty accurate reflection.

The problem is, that is exactly how I look! And that is OLD. But the bottom line: I'm just thankful to still be here, to still be able to love and laugh and share and move. "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving an eternal weight of glory that far exceeds them all." 2Cor.4:16-17 How thankful I am that what you see on the outside is not what really matters. That even as my outer man wastes away, shrivels up (or expands as the case may be), wrinkles, goes gray... my inner man is growing and and being renewed and redeemed every single day. And all the struggles and stains and disappointments and sorrows of this life will be seen as helping us achieve "an eternal weight of glory that far exceeds" anything we've had to endure.

So even with the approach of old age, how thankful I am to serve a God who redeems and restores and renews and makes all things new. I'm tired. I'm forgetful. I'm wrinkled. But I'm His girl. And He is mine. And I trust that He is building and renewing in a deeper and eternal way. To God, the Restorer and Renewer, be the glory.

Grateful

Brennan Manning once wrote: "The foremost quality of a trusting disciple is gratefulness." I have continued to be challenged and encouraged by the lyrical book, One Thousand Gifts, by Ann Voscamp. And I continue to be amazed at how quickly and effortlessly I can slide into ingratitude. Sure, we think of things like sorrow and tragedy and hardship as enemies of a grateful heart. But just as deadly, perhaps more so, are busyness and exhaustion born of rushing and relentless accomplishment and frenzy. Somehow I must find the time... I must make the time, to be still before God. Take the time to savor the evening sky and the twinkle in my child's eye and the smell of pine needles. How can I be grateful unless I slow down enough to truly see and then to verbalize my thankfulness?

Rather than complaining about hauling all the Christmas decorations back up the stairs (and isn't it always sad putting them away for a year?), I could choose to thank the Lord for the gift of another year to celebrate His birth with my dear family. Rather than grumble about the mountains of laundry, I could choose gratitude for the gift of loved ones, and for the fact they have clothes, and for the water and soap and washing machine in which to wash them. Rather than slogging through the preparation and clean up of another meal, I can rejoice that we have food to eat--and even such an abundance of food that we can choose what to eat--and a warm, safe house in which to eat, and a table with chairs and loved ones with which to share our meal.

If the Creator and Sustainer of the heavens and the earth could pick up a towel and wash filthy feet, how can I complain about serving and loving those dearest to me? I always love looking at a little sticky note I have over my kitchen sink: "I am here to serve with joy." How I need that reminder! How prone I am to want to be served rather than to serve. But it is in loving and serving others that we discover joy and peace. And in choosing to serve with gratitude in our hearts, we find that joy suddenly bubbling up and splashing all over us.

But we have to choose. Choose to serve and love. And choose to be grateful. It's just that simple. Choose thanksgiving. There simply is no pit too deep, no valley too wide that gratitude cannot be the ladder or the bridge that pulls us up out of the muck and mire.

So today I choose gratefulness. Thank You Lord for Christmas. Thank You for children and for friends and for the chores that remind us of full lives and of loved ones for whom we have the privilege to serve and help. Thank You for the bracing cold weather of winter and the change of seasons. Thank You for fresh starts--and that each new day is the opportunity to begin anew. Thank You that You never ever give up on us. Thank You for laughter. Thank You for tears and for the gift of emotions so that we can feel deeply, even when it hurts. Thank You for food... especially chocolate. You really did some good work when You made chocolate! Thank You for friends and the joy and richness they bring to our lives. Thank You for the beauty of this world that sometimes takes our breath away with it's lushness and wonder and variety. Thank You for our differences that keeps life lively and interesting. Thank You for music. Thank you for the warmth of home and for a light in the darkness. Thank You for books. And thank You for the greatest gift of all--for the Lord Jesus and for His love that is greater and deeper and wider than we could ever hope or imagine or dream. In response to so many blessings, might we have hearts that overflow with gratitude and love. To God be the glory.

Come to His Word

The other day I read something by John Piper that really resonated with me. He talked of waking up some mornings "feeling fragile. Vulnerable. It's often vague. No single threat. No one weakness. Just an amorphous sense that something is going to go wrong and I will be responsible. It's usually after a lot of criticism." I can relate, as I'm sure many of us can. But for me, the fragility translates into more of a sense of discouragement, of recognizing how consistently I seem to miss the mark in so many areas of my life: not a good enough mother or wife or sister or friend; not a good enough cook or organizer (there's that dreadful clutter again) or volunteer or Christian or... just fill in the blank. It's funny how often these times of discouragement or that vague sense of fragility or vulnerability can follow times of blessing or victory: a wonderful visit with all the children home and then when they leave, discouragement can set in. Accomplishing something good or big or necessary and then, seemingly, out of nowhere that vague sense of defeat.

The causes vary wildly, but that feeling of fragility or disappointment or discouragement steals our joy, our peace, our hope. But I love Piper's comment on how God has graciously dealt with his fragility over the years: "By desperate prayer and particular promises. I agree with Spurgeon: I love the 'I wills' and the 'I shalls' of God. Instead of letting me sink into a paralysis of fear, or run into a mirage of greener grass, He has awakened a cry for help and then answered with a concrete promise."

Amen! How I thank and praise God for His Word that is filled with so many glorious "I wills" and "I shalls!" (More on this in a later blog). There have been so many times when I would open His Word after struggling with my inadequacies, and there is a magnificent promise from my Omnipotent Lord, reminding me that I am inadequate, but He is not. I am weak, but He is strong. I am changeable and inconsistent, but He is changeless and eternal. I am sinful, but He is holy and clothes me with His robes of righteousness. I am anxious and fretful, but He is the Prince of Peace. I am disordered, but He is perfect order. I am always running behind, but He is always right on time, infinitely and always the eternal "I Am." I am critical and unkind, but He is Grace, amazing Grace. I am empty and discontent, but in Him is fullness of joy. I am thirsty, but from Him flow endless springs of life giving water. And He tells me again and again and again in His Word of His love, His grace, His forgiveness, His joy, His peace, His power, His endless and perfect provision.

I couldn't help but think of one of my very favorite quotes from Tim Keller: "We are more sinful than we ever imagined, but we are more loved than we ever dreamed." Isn't that the message behind His Word? Every time we come to Him in His Word, we come empty and defeated and discouraged. And He tells us of His love and grace and power and provision. We come hungry, and we leave abundantly full and satisfied. We come discouraged, and we leave encouraged. We come defeated, and we leave confident in His ultimate victory.

Thank You Lord for Your Word and for never ever leaving us mired in our fragility and fear and failure. Thank You that when we come in our emptiness and desperation, You always fill us and strengthen us and love us. Right where we are. Right as we are. In the words of John Piper: "Cry out to Him. Then ransack the Bible for His appointed promise. We are fragile. But He is not." To our Almighty, all powerful, all sufficient Savior, be the glory.

Birdbaths and 2012

The dawn of a new year. How thankful I am that we serve a God of new beginnings, a Lord of 2nd chances, a Savior of resurrection. Yesterday, on the last day of my One Year Bible, I read these words from Revelation 21:5-6 "And He who was seated on the throne said, 'Behold, I am making all things new.' Also He said, 'Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.' And He said to me, 'It is done! I am the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end.'" He is "making all things new," because He is the God of resurrection and redemption and renewal and revival! He is the Omega--He was at the end of 2011 and brought us through all the ups and downs of the past year. What a faithful Savior! And He is the Alpha and our Beginning right here at the very genesis of this new and unknown year. We have no idea what challenges and blessings this new year may hold, but He knows and He holds us with infinite love and security.

So thank You Lord for another year to love You and serve You and glorify You. Another opportunity to make much of You and to make Your Name known. And another opportunity to love those You have placed in our lives and in our paths. The older I get, the more I realize that unless I am loving You and loving others, then I might as well be that clanging, useless gong referred to by Paul in 1 Corinthians 13. I can talk about it all day long. I can write about it. I can do and do and do, but if I'm not truly loving God and the people in my path, I'm just taking up valuable space and of no use to God or anybody else. O Lord, help me to love! Help my life this year to make an eternal difference not just by the things I do and say (though I pray that would be so as well) but by the way I love.

It's so easy to waste your time and ultimately your life, isn't it? You sit down to catch up on emails and the next thing you know, you've surfed the web and chased down rabbit trails and gone off on tangents and your morning is gone. Or you spend hours organizing your stuff--because you have far too much stuff so that it requires hours to organize it! (I'm the founding member of Clutter's Anonymous) We veg in front of the TV or flip through catalogues or shop for more stuff we don't need, and our time ticks away, never to be reclaimed. Forgive us Lord! I'm always so challenged by Ps.90:12 "Teach us to number our days aright that we may gain a heart of wisdom." Teach us Lord! Help us this year to truly use our days and our hours and our minutes in ways that will stand the test of time. Help us to use our time to love You and to love people rather than to love ourselves and love things.

I was so challenged the other day when I heard a story told by David Roper in a sermon given 32 years ago. Listen to his words:

"I was walking across the Stanford campus a few weeks back and I saw a birdbath under a bush. The bush covered it so I could hardly see it. It was a very unusual birdbath. I usually don't pay much attention to birdbaths. I'm not a bird and I didn't particularly need a bath. The thing that struck me about this birdbath was that it was very ornate, carved from one piece of marble, a very delicate and lovely work of art. It had a slender fluted column and a little carved basin on the top.

Some of you may have seen it. Obviously its construction had required a lot of work. Someone had invested months in that little project. But this unusual and lovely object had fallen into disuse. The bowl was full of stagnant water. Even the birds had abandoned it and the gardeners had allowed it to become overgrown with bushes. I went away from that encounter thinking about the man who had made it--the hours, the effort, dedication, and energy he had invested in that forgotten, useless birdbath. And as I walked away I asked from my heart, "'Please, Lord, don't let me make birdbaths. Don't let me invest my life where it does not count and spend my time and energy on enterprises that are valueless in your eyes.'"

O Lord Jesus, help me not to be preoccupied with making (or storing or collecting or prizing) "birdbaths." There are so many birdbaths in my life--all the things I seem to love more than My Savior. All the activities that steal my energy and ultimately my joy. All the trifling ways I waste my time. All the things I do that might be "good" but that prevent me from doing the "best." How many times have I needed to get upstairs and read Bible stories and books with my youngest child, but I get mired in emails or cleaning the kitchen or straightening up some mess and I miss that golden opportunity to love my child and spend precious moments with him. Or I get up early in the morning but get sidetracked unloading the dishwasher which leads me to some other chore and suddenly I have no time to spend loving and being loved and taught and guided by the God of the universe. Or I waste time and money on more stuff I don't need rather than spend that time and money on helping and encouraging and loving other people. Birdbaths!

This year may it be different! Might we truly number our days aright to gain a heart of wisdom--a heart that overflows with gratitude and joy and love for God and for people. Might we use our days in serving and loving Him and them. Might we live each day to make it our masterpiece for the glory of God. We might have failed in the past--but we serve a God who makes all things new! I've always heard "God works best in a graveyard." He delights to take that which seems hopeless and dead and beyond repair and give it new life, new hope, new purpose. Hand Him your birdbaths. And ask Him to enable you to live each day in 2012 no longer making birdbaths but making Him and His Name great and glorious as You love Him and then love others. To God be the glory.