THE
STONE
HAS
ROLLED
AWAY!!
God did it--Janie is off the ventilator! We kept telling her over and over again: "You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you." (Phil.4:13) And she could and He did.
Praise God through whom all blessings flow.
Thank you for praying. Thank You, Lord Jesus. Thank You for breathing Your breathe into her.
To God and God alone be all the glory.
Friday, September 7, 2012
Restless but rejoicing
Long night for sweet Janie. She is so restless--restless with the pain, restless with being tied down, restless with this ventilator down her throat, restless with being in this strange place of machines and unknown people walking in at all hours. I have been in here with her all night and feel coiled and tight at her misery. "Help her, Lord Jesus," I continually pray. "Calm her, speak to her Good Shepherd." I feel helpless to do anything to alleviate her suffering and her agitation. Only her Heavenly Father can help her to endure this long, hard night and keep running this marathon.
Her nurse tonight has the calmest, gentlest voice I've ever heard. And she has such a sweet yet persistent way about her. The Lord knew she would need such a nurse this night--thank You, Father.
As I sat in the recliner around 2:30 this morning, wide awake, wanting to help my child and wishing I could take her pain, I felt myself complaining in my mind. Wishing I could sleep. Wishing I could help. Wondering how exhausted Janie--and I--would be the next day. Wondering if Janie could get off this ventilator that keeps her breathing but also keeps her miserable.
And as I lay there in the darkness punctuated by blinking lights and activity outside her room, the Lord gently reminded me: "Rejoice in the Lord always, again I will say rejoice." (Phil 4:4). Forgive me for not rejoicing in all things, Lord, I prayed. Thank You for this hospital and these machines and these nurses that are helping to save her life. Thank You for all the prayers You have answered and all the obstacles You have enabled Janie to overcome. Thank You for all our friends and family who have done, well, simply everything. Thank You for all the people praying for Janie and for us--we are so undeserving and so grateful. Grace. Thank You for Your presence in this place--always, always. Thank You that we are in Chapel Hill and close to home. Thank You for home--both in this world and the next. Thank You for the priceless gift of our other four children who, though scared and sad at times, have been praying and trusting You. Thank You for Your Word and Your promises that have grown so much nearer and dearer to us through all of this--no longer something simply to study but our lifeline that breathes hope and strength and renews us when we start to flag or falter.
I think of Paul as he wrote those familiar words in Philippians--chained, imprisoned, lonely and yet rejoicing. How can we not rejoice, we who have been given so much? Help us to look at all that the Father has given us and done for us and not at the little that we lack. Complaining is so deadly and thanking is so refreshing. And both are a choice. A choice of the will to recall the blessings rather than to recount the woes. Help us to rejoice in God--for in Him we have a continual feast--and in His myriad blessings.
It's almost 5 a.m. and God has graciously calmed Janie and finally giving her rest. Not so sure about me!... but He is my Rest and my hope, and so, Lord, I'm good! Thank You for once again coming through. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." (Phil.4:6-7) And He does it again--answers prayer and gives His supernatural peace that guards my heart and mind like a vigilant sentinel.
Lord, we can rest in You--because You've got it. You've totally, completely got it. And in You, we have all things... and we rejoice.
To God, our source of rejoicing and hope and peace, be all the glory.
Her nurse tonight has the calmest, gentlest voice I've ever heard. And she has such a sweet yet persistent way about her. The Lord knew she would need such a nurse this night--thank You, Father.
As I sat in the recliner around 2:30 this morning, wide awake, wanting to help my child and wishing I could take her pain, I felt myself complaining in my mind. Wishing I could sleep. Wishing I could help. Wondering how exhausted Janie--and I--would be the next day. Wondering if Janie could get off this ventilator that keeps her breathing but also keeps her miserable.
And as I lay there in the darkness punctuated by blinking lights and activity outside her room, the Lord gently reminded me: "Rejoice in the Lord always, again I will say rejoice." (Phil 4:4). Forgive me for not rejoicing in all things, Lord, I prayed. Thank You for this hospital and these machines and these nurses that are helping to save her life. Thank You for all the prayers You have answered and all the obstacles You have enabled Janie to overcome. Thank You for all our friends and family who have done, well, simply everything. Thank You for all the people praying for Janie and for us--we are so undeserving and so grateful. Grace. Thank You for Your presence in this place--always, always. Thank You that we are in Chapel Hill and close to home. Thank You for home--both in this world and the next. Thank You for the priceless gift of our other four children who, though scared and sad at times, have been praying and trusting You. Thank You for Your Word and Your promises that have grown so much nearer and dearer to us through all of this--no longer something simply to study but our lifeline that breathes hope and strength and renews us when we start to flag or falter.
I think of Paul as he wrote those familiar words in Philippians--chained, imprisoned, lonely and yet rejoicing. How can we not rejoice, we who have been given so much? Help us to look at all that the Father has given us and done for us and not at the little that we lack. Complaining is so deadly and thanking is so refreshing. And both are a choice. A choice of the will to recall the blessings rather than to recount the woes. Help us to rejoice in God--for in Him we have a continual feast--and in His myriad blessings.
It's almost 5 a.m. and God has graciously calmed Janie and finally giving her rest. Not so sure about me!... but He is my Rest and my hope, and so, Lord, I'm good! Thank You for once again coming through. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." (Phil.4:6-7) And He does it again--answers prayer and gives His supernatural peace that guards my heart and mind like a vigilant sentinel.
Lord, we can rest in You--because You've got it. You've totally, completely got it. And in You, we have all things... and we rejoice.
To God, our source of rejoicing and hope and peace, be all the glory.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Lifting our Heads
Woke up feeling sort of worn and weary this morning--like one of those old, tattered tee shirts Janie loves to wear. By the way, this is one of the happy mysteries of our precious daughter: why on earth does she love to wear giant, battered old tee shirts? I'm always a bit concerned that people must wonder if her parents refuse to buy her new shirts that actually fit her. Sigh. Sometimes as a parent you have to daily die a thousand small deaths, one of them being to your pride (which we need to be dying to anyway). Just for the record, if anyone is reading this, Janie does in fact have clothes that fit her and look relatively nice and new. But it's also one of the things I adore about her--she just truly doesn't care. Thank You for reminding me, Lord.
Yesterday was a great day in many ways--Janie continuing to obey commands when she is awake and giving that O-so beautiful "thumbs up" sign. But it was terribly hard watching her struggle mightily against that breathing tube--gagging and looking desperate and trying to pull up in bed but held down by tubes and wires. "Help her, Father," I whisper frantically. "Calm her, quiet her with Your love. Help her to sense Your presence and Your strength." How I wished I could take her place on that bed, but we were powerless to do much except gently talk to her and tell her we were right there with her and she was okay. But, boy, I felt knotted and tightly strung at my inability to free her and help her. Father, we must hand this hard place to You too and trust that You've got her; You're holding her. Help us to keep praying and trusting in our never-failing Father.
Yet, incredibly as I stumbled to the kitchen for some hot tea and then to the Word for my real sustenance, once again God started to breathe life into this threadbare mama. Do I sound like a broken-record? Weary, struggling, sorrowful and then God once again rushes in to sustain and strengthen and encourage and lift my head from looking around at my circumstances and up to my Savior, my Lamb of God, my Lion of Judah, my Living Water, my Bread of Life, my Light.
And everything changes... well, not the circumstances, but me. He enables the downhearted mama to once again rise from the ashes to new hope, new joy, new patience, new love. To be able to enter the fray once more and continue to trust and know that He will give all of us, and Janie, what we need today, this day. Thank You for the gift of this day, Lord and the knowledge that You will walk with us in it every single step of the way.
"From the ends of the earth I call to You, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the Rock that is higher than I. For You have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe." Ps61:2-3
Thank You, Lord, for being our refuge, our Rock, and our strong tower against the foe of brain injury and discouragement and exhaustion. And for all who might be reading this, would You remind them that You are their ever-faithful Refuge and Rock and Strong Tower. Might they run to You, knowing that You will never fail them and will breathe new life into their tired or downhearted hearts. Help us to live on the heights with You even as we sometimes have to struggle along in life's depths--just as our Savior did, for we love and follow Him. The darker the night, the brighter the stars--and You made them all and know them each by name... just as You do with us. We love You, Lord, our Strong Strong, Strong Tower.
To our never-ever-failing God who lifts our heads and lightens our hearts, be all the glory.
Yesterday was a great day in many ways--Janie continuing to obey commands when she is awake and giving that O-so beautiful "thumbs up" sign. But it was terribly hard watching her struggle mightily against that breathing tube--gagging and looking desperate and trying to pull up in bed but held down by tubes and wires. "Help her, Father," I whisper frantically. "Calm her, quiet her with Your love. Help her to sense Your presence and Your strength." How I wished I could take her place on that bed, but we were powerless to do much except gently talk to her and tell her we were right there with her and she was okay. But, boy, I felt knotted and tightly strung at my inability to free her and help her. Father, we must hand this hard place to You too and trust that You've got her; You're holding her. Help us to keep praying and trusting in our never-failing Father.
Yet, incredibly as I stumbled to the kitchen for some hot tea and then to the Word for my real sustenance, once again God started to breathe life into this threadbare mama. Do I sound like a broken-record? Weary, struggling, sorrowful and then God once again rushes in to sustain and strengthen and encourage and lift my head from looking around at my circumstances and up to my Savior, my Lamb of God, my Lion of Judah, my Living Water, my Bread of Life, my Light.
And everything changes... well, not the circumstances, but me. He enables the downhearted mama to once again rise from the ashes to new hope, new joy, new patience, new love. To be able to enter the fray once more and continue to trust and know that He will give all of us, and Janie, what we need today, this day. Thank You for the gift of this day, Lord and the knowledge that You will walk with us in it every single step of the way.
"From the ends of the earth I call to You, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the Rock that is higher than I. For You have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe." Ps61:2-3
Thank You, Lord, for being our refuge, our Rock, and our strong tower against the foe of brain injury and discouragement and exhaustion. And for all who might be reading this, would You remind them that You are their ever-faithful Refuge and Rock and Strong Tower. Might they run to You, knowing that You will never fail them and will breathe new life into their tired or downhearted hearts. Help us to live on the heights with You even as we sometimes have to struggle along in life's depths--just as our Savior did, for we love and follow Him. The darker the night, the brighter the stars--and You made them all and know them each by name... just as You do with us. We love You, Lord, our Strong Strong, Strong Tower.
To our never-ever-failing God who lifts our heads and lightens our hearts, be all the glory.
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Deeper than the Pit
From this morning's Daily Light: "How precious is Your lovingkindness, O God! Therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of Your wings. They are abundantly satisfied with the fullness of Your house, and You give them drink from the river of Your pleasures. For with You is the fountain of life." (Ps.36:7-9)
We are beginning to hear the distant sounds of rolling stones, and it is the most beautiful strain our ears have ever heard. Yesterday, Janie opened her eyes and wiggled her toes and her thumb and even blinked her eyes twice upon command. I've never seen such a gorgeous sight as those sleepy, baby blue eyes looking up at us through a thick haze, but still open and listening and responding. She turned her head towards us as we talked, and we could see the emotion on her face as I told her a funny story from one of her friends or talked about emails from teachers or rambled on about a future trip to New York city or reminded her about all the people who are praying for her and love her. I wanted to run through the halls of this now beautiful UNC hospital and sing and shout and laugh and cry. "Our girl is beginning to come back! The stone is slowly starting to move! Thank You Lord Jesus!" "How precious is Your lovingkindness, O God!"
We know full well how incredibly far Janie has to go in this marathon. Each time after she wakes, they put her right back under sedation because of the ventilator and all the other myriad medical issues she is facing. This will be one long, tough fight... but she is never fighting alone. Not with all these friends and family in her corner; not with the Lord of the universe fighting with her and for her and by her and before her. And anyone who knows Janie, well, now we know God made her strong and feisty for a reason--for this fight. For His glory. All for His glory, this marathon.
As we face each day's difficult challenges, I want to remember how far we have come, rather than how far we have to go. Lord, help me to remember the deep, dark pit from which You have brought us. Remind us, Father, as we go through all of the ups and downs and frustrations and pain of the coming weeks and months, that You were with us in that pit and Your love and grace and mercy and power supported and sustained us every moment of every long day and sleepless night. There will be more of those hard days and nights ahead... but You will be with us and in us and for us in each of those as well.
As Betsie ten Boom told her sister, Corrie, right before Betsie died in the midst of the horrors of that Nazi concentration camp: "We must tell them what we have learned here. We must tell them that there is no pit so deep that He is not deeper still. They will listen to us, Corrie, because we have been here." That is what we are learning--He is deeper and greater and stronger than our deepest pits. His love is wider and deeper and higher and longer than our greatest fears and hardest needs. He is deeper still.
All through this marathon, one thought has often crossed my mind: wonder at the incredible love of our Heavenly Father for us in His willingness, His divine plan, to allow His beloved Son to suffer and die for us. Watching Janie suffer and struggle was agonizing. Painful beyond telling. To see your precious child suffer and helplessly stand by, simply anguishing.
But our Father not only watched His Son betrayed and humiliated and tortured, Our Father purposefully planned that agony. He willingly allowed His Son to come to this earth to suffer and die for us, all for us... all because of the unsearchable "breadth and length and height and depth" of His love for us. (Eph.3:18) Knowing full well that we would reject Him and fail Him and betray Him and doubt Him, He sent His Son to bear our sin and die for us. And He watched it all and allowed it all to happen... even when He had the absolute power to stop it at any single moment. I could never imagine such love. Such supernatural power under infinite restraint--all because had He stopped the horrific suffering for His Son, we would had lost all hope of salvation in Him. Lord, I simply cannot begin to understand that... but I fall down in wonder and worship at Your love.
And so this day, we rejoice. We rejoice at God's grace and power in beginning to bring back our Janie. And we rejoice in Your love for us in allowing Your Son, while we were yet sinners, to die for us. (Rom.5:8) Help us to live this day in the wonder and light of Your love. Might we never forget what You did for us, just as we will never forget the pit from which You redeemed us. Lord, there truly is no pit that You are not deeper still. We have been there, and we know.
To God, our Redeemer from the pit, be all the glory.
We are beginning to hear the distant sounds of rolling stones, and it is the most beautiful strain our ears have ever heard. Yesterday, Janie opened her eyes and wiggled her toes and her thumb and even blinked her eyes twice upon command. I've never seen such a gorgeous sight as those sleepy, baby blue eyes looking up at us through a thick haze, but still open and listening and responding. She turned her head towards us as we talked, and we could see the emotion on her face as I told her a funny story from one of her friends or talked about emails from teachers or rambled on about a future trip to New York city or reminded her about all the people who are praying for her and love her. I wanted to run through the halls of this now beautiful UNC hospital and sing and shout and laugh and cry. "Our girl is beginning to come back! The stone is slowly starting to move! Thank You Lord Jesus!" "How precious is Your lovingkindness, O God!"
We know full well how incredibly far Janie has to go in this marathon. Each time after she wakes, they put her right back under sedation because of the ventilator and all the other myriad medical issues she is facing. This will be one long, tough fight... but she is never fighting alone. Not with all these friends and family in her corner; not with the Lord of the universe fighting with her and for her and by her and before her. And anyone who knows Janie, well, now we know God made her strong and feisty for a reason--for this fight. For His glory. All for His glory, this marathon.
As we face each day's difficult challenges, I want to remember how far we have come, rather than how far we have to go. Lord, help me to remember the deep, dark pit from which You have brought us. Remind us, Father, as we go through all of the ups and downs and frustrations and pain of the coming weeks and months, that You were with us in that pit and Your love and grace and mercy and power supported and sustained us every moment of every long day and sleepless night. There will be more of those hard days and nights ahead... but You will be with us and in us and for us in each of those as well.
As Betsie ten Boom told her sister, Corrie, right before Betsie died in the midst of the horrors of that Nazi concentration camp: "We must tell them what we have learned here. We must tell them that there is no pit so deep that He is not deeper still. They will listen to us, Corrie, because we have been here." That is what we are learning--He is deeper and greater and stronger than our deepest pits. His love is wider and deeper and higher and longer than our greatest fears and hardest needs. He is deeper still.
All through this marathon, one thought has often crossed my mind: wonder at the incredible love of our Heavenly Father for us in His willingness, His divine plan, to allow His beloved Son to suffer and die for us. Watching Janie suffer and struggle was agonizing. Painful beyond telling. To see your precious child suffer and helplessly stand by, simply anguishing.
But our Father not only watched His Son betrayed and humiliated and tortured, Our Father purposefully planned that agony. He willingly allowed His Son to come to this earth to suffer and die for us, all for us... all because of the unsearchable "breadth and length and height and depth" of His love for us. (Eph.3:18) Knowing full well that we would reject Him and fail Him and betray Him and doubt Him, He sent His Son to bear our sin and die for us. And He watched it all and allowed it all to happen... even when He had the absolute power to stop it at any single moment. I could never imagine such love. Such supernatural power under infinite restraint--all because had He stopped the horrific suffering for His Son, we would had lost all hope of salvation in Him. Lord, I simply cannot begin to understand that... but I fall down in wonder and worship at Your love.
And so this day, we rejoice. We rejoice at God's grace and power in beginning to bring back our Janie. And we rejoice in Your love for us in allowing Your Son, while we were yet sinners, to die for us. (Rom.5:8) Help us to live this day in the wonder and light of Your love. Might we never forget what You did for us, just as we will never forget the pit from which You redeemed us. Lord, there truly is no pit that You are not deeper still. We have been there, and we know.
To God, our Redeemer from the pit, be all the glory.
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Light for today
I awoke this morning both thankful and fearful. So incredibly thankful that Janie is back near home at the hospital at UNC-Chapel Hill. We had no idea it would happen as soon as yesterday, and we are just overwhelmed with joy to have her near her family and her dear friend, Tessa, who is in the same hospital. Praise You Lord! We are also eternally grateful to the terrific nurses and staff and doctors at the Greenville hospital who loved and cared for Janie so wonderfully and who saved her life. Again, thank You Lord!
But this morning, that fear that loves to creep around the edges of my mind, haunting my hope, well, it was there too. I get up from bed, talking to my Father, asking Him to help me to trust Him and not my feelings.
I walk into the kitchen, turn on the lights, and pick up my blinking cell phone, and there comes my relentless God again: I immediately see a text from a dear friend: "Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen Emily and help Emily; I will uphold Emily with my righteous right hand." (Is.41:10) Thank You, Father. Thank You that You will give us this day's daily bread of strength and joy and hope and peace.
And that is all we need--just this day's provision. We will trust our never failing Savior for tomorrow's. But we don't need that now--just today's. Just today's. And You are always enough, always able. Forever the "I Am"--our eternally present, personal, powerful Lord who is always with us today, this moment. Help us to fully live in each present moment with You, our great I Am.
Thank You Father for how far You have brought us on this long, hard journey. I know we have miles and miles to go, but I can't focus on all those miles. We focus on the next inches right in front of us and ask for God's strength and hope and enabling for those few tiny parts of the marathon. "Your Word is a lamp to my feet, and a light to my path." (Ps.119:105) That is what our Father wants us to do--look to Him daily for His light to the path right in front of us. He will light the way that our feet need to walk... step by step, inch by inch.
Every time my brain tries to look way down the path into the far distance and ask, "what then?" or "what if?" or "how on earth will we handle that?" the paralysis of fear and discouragement sets in like a thick blanket of fog in the mountains. Not only does looking ahead in fear steal my joy and peace, but it robs me of the light He is giving me right now, for this precious and irreplaceable day today. The only today we will ever have. The only today He is giving us to love Him, to learn, to love our family and friends, to pray, to share His Light in this dark world. Forgive Your faithless child, Father, and help us to live this day in the light of Your Word, trusting that You will light our paths--for You always do.
"In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." (John 1:4-5) Light a match in a dark cave and watch that tiny flicker dispel the thickest, blackest darkness. The dark simply cannot overcome even the smallest light--when light comes, the darkness, at least right around the vicinity of the light, is dispelled. Thank You Lord Jesus that You are our Light and You are Janie's Light and even now You are lighting her darkness.
I will never forget the story of a young girl who was thrown into jail during the civil rights movement. She was part of Martin Luther King's peaceful protest against the horrors of racism, and she was apparently beaten and thrown down into a completely dark basement in the jail. No light whatsoever. I don't remember the exact details as to where it was, etc. but I will never ever forget what she said. The guards shouted and jeered at her from the top of the stairs, asking her how she felt now that she was alone in all that darkness with absolutely no light.
She responded, "I have my Light with me. Jesus Christ is my Light."
Just as He was her Light in the blackness of that prison, just as He is Janie's Light, just as He is our Light on this long journey with Janie, step by step lighting our way, He is also your Light. If Jesus is your Savior, you are never alone. Never. You are never without the Light--for you carry Him with you into the darkest pits and the loneliest prisons. Janie would tell you if you don't know Jesus, He is waiting even now to come to you and be your Light and your salvation.
"Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, 'I am the Light of the world. Whoever follows Me will not walk in darkness, but will have the Light of life." (John 8:12)
We follow Lord and praise You that with You, we will never walk in darkness. Help us to walk this day boldly, joyfully, faithfully in Your Light. And we will trust You with our tomorrows.
To God, our eternally present and powerful Light, be all the glory.
But this morning, that fear that loves to creep around the edges of my mind, haunting my hope, well, it was there too. I get up from bed, talking to my Father, asking Him to help me to trust Him and not my feelings.
I walk into the kitchen, turn on the lights, and pick up my blinking cell phone, and there comes my relentless God again: I immediately see a text from a dear friend: "Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen Emily and help Emily; I will uphold Emily with my righteous right hand." (Is.41:10) Thank You, Father. Thank You that You will give us this day's daily bread of strength and joy and hope and peace.
And that is all we need--just this day's provision. We will trust our never failing Savior for tomorrow's. But we don't need that now--just today's. Just today's. And You are always enough, always able. Forever the "I Am"--our eternally present, personal, powerful Lord who is always with us today, this moment. Help us to fully live in each present moment with You, our great I Am.
Thank You Father for how far You have brought us on this long, hard journey. I know we have miles and miles to go, but I can't focus on all those miles. We focus on the next inches right in front of us and ask for God's strength and hope and enabling for those few tiny parts of the marathon. "Your Word is a lamp to my feet, and a light to my path." (Ps.119:105) That is what our Father wants us to do--look to Him daily for His light to the path right in front of us. He will light the way that our feet need to walk... step by step, inch by inch.
Every time my brain tries to look way down the path into the far distance and ask, "what then?" or "what if?" or "how on earth will we handle that?" the paralysis of fear and discouragement sets in like a thick blanket of fog in the mountains. Not only does looking ahead in fear steal my joy and peace, but it robs me of the light He is giving me right now, for this precious and irreplaceable day today. The only today we will ever have. The only today He is giving us to love Him, to learn, to love our family and friends, to pray, to share His Light in this dark world. Forgive Your faithless child, Father, and help us to live this day in the light of Your Word, trusting that You will light our paths--for You always do.
"In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." (John 1:4-5) Light a match in a dark cave and watch that tiny flicker dispel the thickest, blackest darkness. The dark simply cannot overcome even the smallest light--when light comes, the darkness, at least right around the vicinity of the light, is dispelled. Thank You Lord Jesus that You are our Light and You are Janie's Light and even now You are lighting her darkness.
I will never forget the story of a young girl who was thrown into jail during the civil rights movement. She was part of Martin Luther King's peaceful protest against the horrors of racism, and she was apparently beaten and thrown down into a completely dark basement in the jail. No light whatsoever. I don't remember the exact details as to where it was, etc. but I will never ever forget what she said. The guards shouted and jeered at her from the top of the stairs, asking her how she felt now that she was alone in all that darkness with absolutely no light.
She responded, "I have my Light with me. Jesus Christ is my Light."
Just as He was her Light in the blackness of that prison, just as He is Janie's Light, just as He is our Light on this long journey with Janie, step by step lighting our way, He is also your Light. If Jesus is your Savior, you are never alone. Never. You are never without the Light--for you carry Him with you into the darkest pits and the loneliest prisons. Janie would tell you if you don't know Jesus, He is waiting even now to come to you and be your Light and your salvation.
"Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, 'I am the Light of the world. Whoever follows Me will not walk in darkness, but will have the Light of life." (John 8:12)
We follow Lord and praise You that with You, we will never walk in darkness. Help us to walk this day boldly, joyfully, faithfully in Your Light. And we will trust You with our tomorrows.
To God, our eternally present and powerful Light, be all the glory.
Monday, September 3, 2012
Waiting and Trusting in the Unseen
Maybe I should just rename this blog "Waiting, waiting, waiting, upon God." Sorry to be repeating myself, but that is just pretty much what we are doing. And in case you are wondering, I despise waiting. I'm a bit like my wonderful mother in that regard--she hated even ordering appetizers in restaurants: "O no! Don't get that--it will slow down getting the meal!" Her favorite places to eat were all fast, fast, fast. I used to laugh about that, since nobody appreciates a good meal like my husband and I do, and we will order everything in sight, including appetizers and, of course, especially dessert. (Thank You Lord for dessert--"And it was very good.")
But I don't laugh anymore (okay, I do still laugh a little), because I see that tendency a million times over in myself. Waiting in grocery store or carpool lines has taught me to always have a book with me, as it calms the savage beast within--and I love to read. Like so many busy moms, I just hate to waste time and wait. Like all of us, really. I know we are not alone in this--so many are waiting in so many different areas of their lives. Silly waiting, busy waiting, really hard waiting--it all ranges from frustrating to debilitating to just plain agonizing.
Yet I also know God has us right where He wants us--Janie safely in His tender embrace, speaking to her, holding her, loving her. And He has us as well, her family and friends who wait and pray and learn to daily, hourly look to Him for strength and peace and hope in the midst of this hard waiting.
Our Father never grows impatient as He waits on His perfect time, so I know Janie is safe and secure in the hands of the gentle Good Shepherd. It is only us frail, frantic people who must fight against the fierce pressure of waiting... because waiting can so quickly lead to worrying. And worrying does absolutely nothing to help Janie or any of us in our waiting times. Never, ever. Not only does worrying rob us of strength in the midst of the battle, but it steals the joy and hope God wants to sing into our hearts. As Corrie ten Boom said, "Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength."
All this to say, I fell prey to worrying and discouragement while waiting late yesterday and early this morning. How desperately I desire to see rapid progress in this marathon, despite the fact that they have told told us repeatedly (and I know intellectually) that this will be a very long, slow process. Sigh. Not words I like to hear: "Long. Slow. Inches, not miles." Forgive your often anxious, fretful child, Lord. Help me, Father.
And He always does. Incredibly, He always, always does--relentlessly faithful this God of ours. His Word is my lifeline to renewed hope and strength in the battle. "I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait for the Lord; and be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!" (Ps.27:13-14)
How I love Charles Spurgeon's words. This is long, but it is worth it!:
"It may seem an easy thing to wait, but it is one of the postures which a Christian soldier learns not without years of teaching. Marching and quick-marching are much easier to God's warriors than standing still. There are hours of perplexity when the most willing spirit, anxiously desirous to serve the Lord, knows not what part to take. Then what shall it do? Vex itself by despair? Fly back in cowardice, turn to the right hand in fear, or rush forward in presumption? No, but simply wait. Wait in prayer, however. Call upon God, and spread the case before him; tell him your difficulty, and plead his promise of aid. In dilemmas between one duty and another, it is sweet to be humble as a child, and wait with simplicity of soul upon the Lord. It is sure to be well with us when we feel and know our own folly, and are heartily willing to be guided by the will of God. But wait in faith. Express your unstaggering confidence in him; for unfaithful, untrusting waiting, is but an insult to the Lord. Believe that if he keep you tarrying even till midnight, yet he will come at the right time; the vision shall come and shall not tarry. Wait in quiet patience, not rebelling because you are under the affliction, but blessing your God for it. Never murmur against the second cause, as the children of Israel did against Moses; never wish you could go back to the world again, but accept the case as it is, and put it as it stands, simply and with your whole heart, without any self-will, into the hand of your covenant God, saying, "Now, Lord, not my will, but thine be done. I know not what to do; I am brought to extremities, but I will wait until thou shalt cleave the floods, or drive back my foes. I will wait, if thou keep me many a day, for my heart is fixed upon thee alone, O God, and my spirit waiteth for thee in the full conviction that thou wilt yet be my joy and my salvation, my refuge and my strong tower."
Yes, Lord, we will wait, trusting Your perfect plan and timing. Help us to wait with patience and joy and courage, believing we "shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." I've often heard it said, "The Lord is never late... but He is rarely early." Amen! And one of the reasons I believe that He does this is so that He will receive far more glory. If He had just hurried to Lazarus' side and healed his sickness, that would have been great, but how much less glory to Him and how infinitely much less encouragement and hope for all of us than the fact that Jesus waited and raised a man dead four days to new life? How many of us have been strengthened and renewed in our waiting times by the raising of Lazarus in John 11! Thank You, Lord Jesus, for waiting and forbearing the exercise of Your limitless power to heal Lazarus, so that we could all see Your staggering power to raise the utterly dead to new life.
Wherever you are, however you are waiting, know that we are waiting with you and trusting our Almighty God to strengthen and sustain us in our waiting. Even now, He may be preparing the glorious resurrection and answer to your hopes and prayers... so that like Lazarus, your waiting will have resulted in greater joy for you and far greater glory to God.
I've always loved the quote: "With God, when nothing is happening, something is happening." Something is happening in our waiting, in your waiting. We may not be able to see it, but we will trust not in the seen but in the unseen. We choose to trust in Our Almighty God of the unseen for "faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." (Heb.11:1)
And so wait and we trust, knowing that "Aslan is on the move." To the God of all that we can see and of the infinitely more that we cannot see, be all the glory.
But I don't laugh anymore (okay, I do still laugh a little), because I see that tendency a million times over in myself. Waiting in grocery store or carpool lines has taught me to always have a book with me, as it calms the savage beast within--and I love to read. Like so many busy moms, I just hate to waste time and wait. Like all of us, really. I know we are not alone in this--so many are waiting in so many different areas of their lives. Silly waiting, busy waiting, really hard waiting--it all ranges from frustrating to debilitating to just plain agonizing.
Yet I also know God has us right where He wants us--Janie safely in His tender embrace, speaking to her, holding her, loving her. And He has us as well, her family and friends who wait and pray and learn to daily, hourly look to Him for strength and peace and hope in the midst of this hard waiting.
Our Father never grows impatient as He waits on His perfect time, so I know Janie is safe and secure in the hands of the gentle Good Shepherd. It is only us frail, frantic people who must fight against the fierce pressure of waiting... because waiting can so quickly lead to worrying. And worrying does absolutely nothing to help Janie or any of us in our waiting times. Never, ever. Not only does worrying rob us of strength in the midst of the battle, but it steals the joy and hope God wants to sing into our hearts. As Corrie ten Boom said, "Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength."
All this to say, I fell prey to worrying and discouragement while waiting late yesterday and early this morning. How desperately I desire to see rapid progress in this marathon, despite the fact that they have told told us repeatedly (and I know intellectually) that this will be a very long, slow process. Sigh. Not words I like to hear: "Long. Slow. Inches, not miles." Forgive your often anxious, fretful child, Lord. Help me, Father.
And He always does. Incredibly, He always, always does--relentlessly faithful this God of ours. His Word is my lifeline to renewed hope and strength in the battle. "I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait for the Lord; and be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!" (Ps.27:13-14)
How I love Charles Spurgeon's words. This is long, but it is worth it!:
"It may seem an easy thing to wait, but it is one of the postures which a Christian soldier learns not without years of teaching. Marching and quick-marching are much easier to God's warriors than standing still. There are hours of perplexity when the most willing spirit, anxiously desirous to serve the Lord, knows not what part to take. Then what shall it do? Vex itself by despair? Fly back in cowardice, turn to the right hand in fear, or rush forward in presumption? No, but simply wait. Wait in prayer, however. Call upon God, and spread the case before him; tell him your difficulty, and plead his promise of aid. In dilemmas between one duty and another, it is sweet to be humble as a child, and wait with simplicity of soul upon the Lord. It is sure to be well with us when we feel and know our own folly, and are heartily willing to be guided by the will of God. But wait in faith. Express your unstaggering confidence in him; for unfaithful, untrusting waiting, is but an insult to the Lord. Believe that if he keep you tarrying even till midnight, yet he will come at the right time; the vision shall come and shall not tarry. Wait in quiet patience, not rebelling because you are under the affliction, but blessing your God for it. Never murmur against the second cause, as the children of Israel did against Moses; never wish you could go back to the world again, but accept the case as it is, and put it as it stands, simply and with your whole heart, without any self-will, into the hand of your covenant God, saying, "Now, Lord, not my will, but thine be done. I know not what to do; I am brought to extremities, but I will wait until thou shalt cleave the floods, or drive back my foes. I will wait, if thou keep me many a day, for my heart is fixed upon thee alone, O God, and my spirit waiteth for thee in the full conviction that thou wilt yet be my joy and my salvation, my refuge and my strong tower."
Yes, Lord, we will wait, trusting Your perfect plan and timing. Help us to wait with patience and joy and courage, believing we "shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." I've often heard it said, "The Lord is never late... but He is rarely early." Amen! And one of the reasons I believe that He does this is so that He will receive far more glory. If He had just hurried to Lazarus' side and healed his sickness, that would have been great, but how much less glory to Him and how infinitely much less encouragement and hope for all of us than the fact that Jesus waited and raised a man dead four days to new life? How many of us have been strengthened and renewed in our waiting times by the raising of Lazarus in John 11! Thank You, Lord Jesus, for waiting and forbearing the exercise of Your limitless power to heal Lazarus, so that we could all see Your staggering power to raise the utterly dead to new life.
Wherever you are, however you are waiting, know that we are waiting with you and trusting our Almighty God to strengthen and sustain us in our waiting. Even now, He may be preparing the glorious resurrection and answer to your hopes and prayers... so that like Lazarus, your waiting will have resulted in greater joy for you and far greater glory to God.
I've always loved the quote: "With God, when nothing is happening, something is happening." Something is happening in our waiting, in your waiting. We may not be able to see it, but we will trust not in the seen but in the unseen. We choose to trust in Our Almighty God of the unseen for "faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." (Heb.11:1)
And so wait and we trust, knowing that "Aslan is on the move." To the God of all that we can see and of the infinitely more that we cannot see, be all the glory.
Sunday, September 2, 2012
Fighting fear with Faith
Fighting fear with faith. This is our long, hard battle... and it wages fiercely right now. Yesterday Janie spiked a high fever, and fear nearly suffocated me as I paced and prayed, paced and prayed. Words failed me. All I could whisper was, "Help her, Jesus. Help her, Jesus. Heal her, Father. Heal her, Father." A dear friend stood with me as we prayed the fever would go down, but the icy tentacles of fear squeezed this mama's heart like a vise, and I could scarcely breathe.
But what an unimaginable comfort it was to have her by my side, warring against this enemy with prayer to the Almighty One. And so many others are praying--friends, relatives, people I've never heard of and will never know, are interceding fervently on behalf of our precious Janie. O thank You, Lord. I am so humbled and so grateful. Again, this mighty army, this body of Christ, lifting her up, claiming Your promises, praying big bold prayers for healing, and I am strengthened to fight on and pray on and hope on in the One who never falters or fails.
Praise God He calmed the fever, and we rejoiced. Lord, help us to remember to praise You for every victory, large or small, that You, in Your grace, give us. Praise You for that EMT on the scene of the accident within moments--the wreck right in front of his house on a desolate stretch of road and he had just gotten off work. He certainly saved her life. Thank You Lord that Janie has gotten past the first crucial 72 hours where swelling of the brain can be so catastrophic. And thank You, Lord, for the innumerable ways people have encouraged and helped and comforted us all through this battle--Father, You surely place Your people at just right the time, at just the right place. We praise You for Your sovereignty.
Help us Lord, in the midst of the battles of our lives, to remember Your faithfulness. When the battle wages and fear overwhelms, Lord, forgive us for forgetting. Help us to recall how You have helped us and kept us and strengthened us all along the way. Counsel us by Your Word to recall Your great deeds and draw courage from our Mighty God.
"Lord, I have heard of Your fame; I stand in awe of Your deeds, Lord. Repeat them in our day, in our time, make them known; in wrath remember mercy." (Habakkuk 3:2) That has been my heart's cry so many times over the past week. Help us to remember Your faithfulness and greatness and power, and renew them in our day, in this battle for Janie, that Your Name might be mightily glorified.
She prayed after her mission trip to Africa this summer that her life would count for Christ this year and that she would really make a difference. Well, she is doing that even in her silence. But I whisper, "Lord, renew them in our day. Do it again, Lord; do it again" as I pray for her healing.
The high fever returned late last night, and the battle waged on. Again, the fear returned--squeezing, black and icy. The Lord awoke me early this morning, fear gripping me, so I went to His Word, desperate for calm in this storm and reinforcements and help for Janie in her battle.
And the God that never fails came through once again. Forever faithful. "Fear not, O Zion, let not your hands grow weak. The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty One to save; He will rejoice over Janie with gladness; He will quiet her by His love; He will exult over Janie with loud singing." (Zeph. 3:16-17) O Lord, help her to hear You singing over her as You quiet her by Your love. Be mighty to save her, Father.
And "So do not fear, for I am with Janie; Do not be dismayed, for I am Janie's God. I will strengthen Janie and uphold her; I will uphold Janie with my righteous right hand. For I am the Lord Your God, who takes hold of Janie's right hand and says to her, 'Do not fear; I will help you.'"
Thank You Lord for helping Janie's fearful, desperate mother even in the midst of the battle. Father, You know I fear... but help me to trust in You and to fight this fear with faith. Already Lord, I feel those icy tentacles of fear losing their vise-like grip. Lord, by faith, I will not fear and know that You will help Janie.
And thank You that right at this moment, You are rejoicing over her, singing to her, quieting her, saving her, strengthening her, upholding her, taking hold of her right hand and speaking words of courage and help. In You I rest.
Lord, there are many reading this who may feel that same fear, that same overwhelming terror and desperation in the midst of their own, or their loved one's, battles. As I've said so many times, we are all fighting battles. Father, right this minute, would You, in Your mercy and grace, remind them that You are with them and for them. Help them to know that You are speaking Your supernatural Word--Your love letter--to them. Help us all, Father, to remember that You are mighty to save, in Your own perfect way and in Your own perfect timing. Father, we pray that You would repeat Your awesome deeds in all of our lives, so that You, and You alone, would be glorified.
Lord, we will not fear for You will help us. Might we hear You singing. And Father, help us to join in, by faith.
To God, the Mighty One who saves and sings, be all the glory.
But what an unimaginable comfort it was to have her by my side, warring against this enemy with prayer to the Almighty One. And so many others are praying--friends, relatives, people I've never heard of and will never know, are interceding fervently on behalf of our precious Janie. O thank You, Lord. I am so humbled and so grateful. Again, this mighty army, this body of Christ, lifting her up, claiming Your promises, praying big bold prayers for healing, and I am strengthened to fight on and pray on and hope on in the One who never falters or fails.
Praise God He calmed the fever, and we rejoiced. Lord, help us to remember to praise You for every victory, large or small, that You, in Your grace, give us. Praise You for that EMT on the scene of the accident within moments--the wreck right in front of his house on a desolate stretch of road and he had just gotten off work. He certainly saved her life. Thank You Lord that Janie has gotten past the first crucial 72 hours where swelling of the brain can be so catastrophic. And thank You, Lord, for the innumerable ways people have encouraged and helped and comforted us all through this battle--Father, You surely place Your people at just right the time, at just the right place. We praise You for Your sovereignty.
Help us Lord, in the midst of the battles of our lives, to remember Your faithfulness. When the battle wages and fear overwhelms, Lord, forgive us for forgetting. Help us to recall how You have helped us and kept us and strengthened us all along the way. Counsel us by Your Word to recall Your great deeds and draw courage from our Mighty God.
"Lord, I have heard of Your fame; I stand in awe of Your deeds, Lord. Repeat them in our day, in our time, make them known; in wrath remember mercy." (Habakkuk 3:2) That has been my heart's cry so many times over the past week. Help us to remember Your faithfulness and greatness and power, and renew them in our day, in this battle for Janie, that Your Name might be mightily glorified.
She prayed after her mission trip to Africa this summer that her life would count for Christ this year and that she would really make a difference. Well, she is doing that even in her silence. But I whisper, "Lord, renew them in our day. Do it again, Lord; do it again" as I pray for her healing.
The high fever returned late last night, and the battle waged on. Again, the fear returned--squeezing, black and icy. The Lord awoke me early this morning, fear gripping me, so I went to His Word, desperate for calm in this storm and reinforcements and help for Janie in her battle.
And the God that never fails came through once again. Forever faithful. "Fear not, O Zion, let not your hands grow weak. The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty One to save; He will rejoice over Janie with gladness; He will quiet her by His love; He will exult over Janie with loud singing." (Zeph. 3:16-17) O Lord, help her to hear You singing over her as You quiet her by Your love. Be mighty to save her, Father.
And "So do not fear, for I am with Janie; Do not be dismayed, for I am Janie's God. I will strengthen Janie and uphold her; I will uphold Janie with my righteous right hand. For I am the Lord Your God, who takes hold of Janie's right hand and says to her, 'Do not fear; I will help you.'"
Thank You Lord for helping Janie's fearful, desperate mother even in the midst of the battle. Father, You know I fear... but help me to trust in You and to fight this fear with faith. Already Lord, I feel those icy tentacles of fear losing their vise-like grip. Lord, by faith, I will not fear and know that You will help Janie.
And thank You that right at this moment, You are rejoicing over her, singing to her, quieting her, saving her, strengthening her, upholding her, taking hold of her right hand and speaking words of courage and help. In You I rest.
Lord, there are many reading this who may feel that same fear, that same overwhelming terror and desperation in the midst of their own, or their loved one's, battles. As I've said so many times, we are all fighting battles. Father, right this minute, would You, in Your mercy and grace, remind them that You are with them and for them. Help them to know that You are speaking Your supernatural Word--Your love letter--to them. Help us all, Father, to remember that You are mighty to save, in Your own perfect way and in Your own perfect timing. Father, we pray that You would repeat Your awesome deeds in all of our lives, so that You, and You alone, would be glorified.
Lord, we will not fear for You will help us. Might we hear You singing. And Father, help us to join in, by faith.
To God, the Mighty One who saves and sings, be all the glory.
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