Remembering one more time...and rejoicing!

     
     One more time to remember and rejoice in our great and good God for all He has done this past year.
     This will probably be one of the last times I'll write extensively about Janie's accident, for as Paul says, "But one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." (Phil.3:13-14)
     But I never want to forget.  Never.  For in remembering, in recalling "Hitherto hath the Lord helped us" (I Sam 7), we are filled with inexpressible gratitude at the undeserved goodness and grace of God.  So thank You, Lord, for how far You have brought us in one year.  "I will greatly rejoice in the Lord, my soul shall be joyful in my God." (Isa.61:10)
     I thought I would do this primarily through pictures.  Here's where we were on this day, one year ago:

      Unconscious.  Unresponsive.  Unable to do one thing for herself.  Much like all of us apart from the grace of God in sending us the Lord Jesus to redeem and save us from our sins.  O thank You, Lord Jesus, "For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly...but God shows His love for us in that while we still sinners, Christ died for us." (Rom.5:6,8)
      We remember those stones from Cane River that my dear brother, Britt, brought us that first long weekend of the accident.  And so we prayed and prayed that, as Jesus did with Lazarus in rolling away the stone from his tomb and raising Lazarus from the dead, God would roll away the stone and awaken Janie and bring her back to us.  These stones sat on a little ledge in her room in ICU--

  And over those often hard, dark days and weeks, God sent dear friends to love us, help us, pray for us, care for us.  O what a gift the Body of Christ is!!!  Thank You, Lord!  Friends and family like Russ and Creecy.  Here's one of my favorite pictures. Janie's fever had spiked to nearly 104, and Creecy and Russ began praying and fanning--and, as always lifted our spirits.

          And my wonderful brother and sister-in-law, Rich and Marilyn.  This was right before Janie was about to be transferred from the excellent hospital in Greenville (Thank You, Lord, for her incredible care there!  And thank You for all the amazing nurses and doctors!) to Chapel Hill.  Here they were preparing to move her while she was still unconscious, had a high fever, and was on a ventilator, etc. A tall and delicate order.  But they did an outstanding job. Whew--

    And that Carolina Air Care was a beautiful sight--headed home to Chapel Hill!  Praise God!  We now love the ECU Pirates...but we will be Tar Heels till the day we die!  This transport was amazing--it is essentially a fully loaded traveling ICU.  Remarkable.
     Another picture I loved--Mary Norris and Matt with me in the hospital when Janie was struggling with a high fever and some kind of infection that required us all to essentially wear haze-mat suits when we were in the ICU.  Miraculous the way God could give us joy and laughter even in such a hard and frightening time. Another gift--thank You, Father--You are our joy and peace even in the darkness--

     After waiting and praying and hoping, God in His mercy and sovereign power began to awaken our girl after two long weeks.  I'll never forget seeing that first thumbs up when the nurses asked her if she could give a thumbs up in response to questions asked of her.  It's become my all-time favorite symbol.  Thumbs up towards heaven--to our Maker and Redeemer and Restorer and Reviver!  And thumbs up to the treasure of friendship and family--the Body of Christ!--

          Sweet friends greeting us shortly after we arrived in Chapel Hill!

     Mary Norris, Matt and Peter after Janie woke up, and the doctors' were able to remove her breathing tube and take her off the ventilator!  Praise God who give us lungs to breathe!  Have you thanked Him for being able to take that breath...and the next one...and the next?

     Sweet Tessa and Janie right after Janie had returned to us!  That was one sweet reunion.  Thumbs up, of course, to the Lord!  Yes, God can do the impossible--might we never forget it.
     And then Stephen Mares--our incredible principal at Broughton High School came by for a visit with Janie--wearing his purple Broughton tie, of course!  Thank You, Lord, for the gift of excellent schools and teachers!

     And my brothers, Britt and Rich, my sister-in-law, Alice, and their son, Will.  Thank You Lord for the gift of family!

     My sisters Jane and Mary Norris were there constantly too, but I don't seem to have any pictures of them--rats!  But praise God for them!!  By the way, there's nothing like sisters!  Another gift--thank You, Father!  And then there were more friends--

     One of my favorite pictures and memories.  Many of Janie's dearest friends from Broughton!  And Courtney, their amazing Young Life leader.  And all the girls from the wreck--Madeleine, Grace, Tessa and Janie.  O Father, thank You for saving each of them and for the gift of their friendship.  "Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to His power at work within us." (Eph.3:20)  And more friends--

     Lunches with dear friends!!  Lord, thank You for the gift of friendship (am I a broken record) and for the gift of FOOD!  A few weeks earlier, all food tasted a bit like sawdust...now it tasted like JOY!  Almost everything seemed as divine and delicious as chocolate...and that's really saying something.

      Janie with her brother, Richard!  Thumbs up to our good God!

     And with all her brothers--a happy visit!  And then we went outside to the Starbucks in the hospital and sipped our drinks on a sun-drenched September day--so so glorious!  O might none of us ever take such seemingly small moments for granted.  The gift of tea and milkshakes, warm sun, laughter, and siblings.
   

      On her last day, they replaced Janie's cast with a Carolina blue one, of course.

    And then it was finally time to go home.  We took a picture of Janie holding her Cane River rocks that had been with us from the very beginning.  May we never forget: God still rolls away stones.  He can in your life, too.  He has the power to do the impossible--

     When we arrived home, there were signs everywhere, put up by wonderful friends who had prayed and helped and done everything else under the sun.  Have I said, thank You Lord for friends and family?!

     The visits from friends continued unabated throughout Janie and Tessa's recovery.  Okay, okay you already know the drill--praise God from Whom all blessings flow (like friends and family!)--

     If by some miracle you are still reading this, I better stop since this has gone on and on... Sorry.  But suffice it to say, what a journey.  What an opportunity to discover that God will never ever leave us nor forsake us, no matter how deep the pit or how dark the road.  He is with us, always, even when we can't see Him or feel Him.  He is there.  And He can do the impossible.
    And so, thank You, Father, for Your goodness and grace. Thank You for saving these girls.  Thank You for the gift of children and family and friends.  Thank You for doctors and nurses and amazing medical care.  Thank You for all the ways You provide for us every single day--with air and food and sun and rain and hope and joy and peace.  Thank You for all the daily, common treasures of everyday life that we so often take for granted.  You are relentlessly good.
    And thank You for allowing these girls to graduate from Broughton.  Thank You for so many wonderful young folks graduating--2013, what a class! Just a few pictures from one happy graduation--

     Father, thank You for allowing even the hardest things in our lives...for the way You use them for our greater good and Your greater glory. When we cannot see or understand what Your hand is doing, help us to trust in Your heart.  In Your love.  In Your grace.  In Your power. In Your plan.  And in Your Son, our Savior.
      And so we praise the Lord for August 24th and all He has done through these four girls.  Might they be a testimony to God's greatness and glory...and might we all!  For we each of us have a story--our own unique story--that our Heavenly Father is writing. A story of redemption.  A story of grace.  A story of rolling away stones in the hardest, darkest of places.  Thank You Lord that You are still rolling away all kinds of stones in all kinds of lives...for You are always at work...even in the dark.  And You are still writing...

     To God, and God alone, be all the glory.



 

On this day, counting...

         Beginning day 4 of no internet, no emails, no TV, no home phone.  A brief thunderstorm a few days back knocked us back to the stone age, technologically speaking.  And AT&T has, so far, not been able to fix it, nor been too terribly receptive to our pleas.  (“No,” I want to respond to AT&T, “this is not a medical emergency  that requires we have our internet restored asap, but it’s a teenager emergency and a cranky parent emergency and doesn’t that count?”  Apparently not.  Good heavens, what if Downton Abbey finally starts back up again with a new episode and we don’t have internet/TV/phone?  I just can’t even go there.)  

Add to that a few frustrations with wedding planning, some disruption and mess due to repairs and repainting, more mess in the house from all the college packing for two children.  And add: still missing Moses.  And add: still mourning this relentless growing up, heading off to college and emptying of our nest...  Well, suffice it to say, I awoke feeling a teeny bit worn and weary.  

But then the strangest thing--right as I walked into the kitchen this morning, the Lord seemed to whisper to me two different phrases: “As your days, so shall your strength be.” (Deut.33:25)  And “Count it all joy.” (James 1:2)

I had just read a brief devotion to one of the boys the other day based on that wonderful verse, “As your days, so shall your strength be.”  O thank You for that reminder, Father.  

If we awake to a day with much to do and little energy to do it--God has the energy available to us that formed the heavens and the earth and created the giraffes and the oak trees. He maintains the orbit of the planets and the pull of gravitation.  Our Lord who has infinite and always readily available strength will surely energize us to do all this day calls for us to do.  

If we awaken filled with sorrow and sadness, we have a Savior who knows our every tear.  He was “a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief...Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows.” (Isa.53:3-4)  He will carry those burdens of sorrow and grief for us this day.  Might we hand our load to our gracious Burden-Bearer.

If this day finds us empty of joy and dead to hope, He is the God of resurrection.  He works best in a graveyard.  “I am the resurrection and the life.  Whoever believes in Me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who believes in Me shall never die.  Do you believe this?” (John 11:25-26)  Yes, Lord, we believe.  Help Thou our unbelief.  You who raised the dead, You who were raised from the dead and now sit on the throne of heaven, can You not raise our deadened spirits, revive our moribund hopes, and renew our flagging hearts?  Yes, yes, He can and He will!  He promises that “as your day” of defeat or discouragement or even despair goes, “so shall your strength be” sufficient to revive and renew and resurrect. 

And if we awaken to a day of frustrations and petty annoyances that seem to be stealing our joy, well then, His strength is sufficient for this day’s struggles...for we are to “Count it ALL joy.”  

Seriously, all those things that were snatching my peace and joy, could I not turn them around and count them all joy?  Each one, when you really dig down below the exasperation, are each a blessing.  Thank You, Father, for a home  to live in--sure, a home that has rotten wood and weeds and non-working internet--but it’s our home filled with sweet memories and people we adore.  And weddings--sure, planning can lead to some conflict and stress, but keep your focus on the joy of two dearly loved young folks brought brought together by our gracious, good Father.  It’s about the love and the treasure of living this adventure of life together--with one another and with our glorious Lord.  And children growing up and going away?  Well, count it ALL joy.  The joy of the remarkable, utterly undeserved privilege of cooperating with God in creating and raising unique and wonderful eternal souls.  They may be leaving our house...but never our hearts.  

So today, on this one year anniversary of Janie’s accident, I’m thankful that “As your days, so shall your strength be.”  From desperate days in ICU’s to dark days of struggle or sorrow to delightful days of sunshine and weddings to every kind of day in between, He’s got the strength and love and hope and wisdom and peace and provision for whatever our day holds.  

On this day of August 24th, I count it ALL joy. Every moment in that struggle in the hospital, every dear friend and family member who prayed so fervently and helped  so diligently, every doctor and every nurse, every whispered prayer, every tear of sorrow and every laugh of relief, every quiet moment in the middle of the night when Jesus stayed up with Janie and with us, keeping us company, every high and every low, every moment of sinking despair and every moment of soaring hope...every single bit of it, I count and count and count the staggering blessings that God wrought out of seeming tragedy.  

And I keep on counting--wedding, home, dog, children, college, weeds, mess... ALL from Him.  ALL for joy.  ALL by His grace.  ALL for His glory.  Maybe we won’t see or understand this side of heaven when it comes to every sorrow in our lives...but one glorious day we will.  And then our counting will have only just begun.  

To God--our infinite Source of strength and our boundless Source of joy--be all the glory.

Undulation...and redemption

        Okay, it's not the weekend, but still, here's a little food for non-weekend thought from C.S. Lewis:
  (From one of my favorites of all of Lewis' writings--The Screwtape Letters.  This is written from the point of view of Screwtape, a senior devil, writing to a "junior tempter," Wormwood, about how to woo and win for hell a human assigned to him.)

     "Humans are amphibians--half spirit and half animal...As spirits they belong to the eternal world, but as animals they inhabit time.  This means that while their spirit can be directed to an eternal object, their bodies, passions, and imaginations are in continual change, for to be in time means to change.  Their nearest approach to constancy, therefore, is undulation--the repeated return to a level from which they repeatedly fall back, a series of troughs and peaks.  If you had watched your patient carefully you would have seen this undulation in every department of his life--his interest in work, his affection for his friends, his physical appetites, all go up and down.  As long as he lives on earth periods of emotional and bodily richness and liveliness will alternate with periods of numbness and poverty...
     Now it may surprise you to learn that in the Enemy's [remember--the Enemy from Screwtape's vantage point is God!] efforts to get permanent possession of a soul, He relies on the troughs even more than on the peaks; some of His special favorites have gone through longer and deeper troughs than anyone else.  The reason is this.  To us [meaning satan and devils] a human is primarily food; our aim is the absorption of it's will into ours, the increase of our own area of selfhood at it's expense.  But the obedience the Enemy [God!] demands of men is quite a different thing.  One must face the fact that all the talk about His love for men, and His service being perfect freedom, is not (as one would gladly believe) mere propaganda, but an appalling truth.  He really does want to fill the universe with a lot of loathsome little replicas of Himself--creatures whose life, on its miniature scale, will be qualitatively like His own, not because He has absorbed them but because their wills freely conform to His.  We want cattle who can finally become food; He wants servants who can finally become sons.  We want to suck in, He wants to give out.  We are empty and would be filled; He is full and flows over."

     Just in case you, like me, needed the reminder that this temporal life truly is one consisting of "troughs and peaks" and that whatever season we are going through at the moment will not last forever.
     Just a few examples:  Peak--preparing your children for college with all the excitement, joy, and opportunities college will give them!  Trough--returning to a much quieter home and grieving that your children are growing up and life is inexorably changing.
     Peak--summer vacation!  No schedules, hot weather, beach, mountains, children home from school, family vacations.  Trough--end of summer vacation and a return to schedules with everyone going every which way, and all the frenzy and chaos of preparing for school.
      Peak--beloved child getting married!  Joy, joy, joy!  Trough--planning the wedding and feeling overwhelmed at times with all the details.  Peak--but also the fun and excitement and privilege of planning the wedding!  Trough--being told you cannot invite so many people to the wedding and not being able to include all your friends.
     Peak--sweet Moses.  Trough--missing Moses.
     Peak--getting a lot accomplished, including completely catching up on all the laundry.  Yahoo! Trough--the sudden appearance of more dirty clothes, seemingly within moments of "catching up" on the laundry. Feeling you will never ever get everything done that you need to get done.  Peak--realizing it's not the end of the world if you don't get it all done!  Double peak--determining to put loving and enjoying God and loving the people He has graciously placed in your life as your preeminent priority... and discovering a joy far deeper than getting everything done!
     I don't know about you, but I tend to forget about the law of undulation.  And I tend to assume, especially in the midst of life's troughs, that whatever I'm enduring at the moment will go on forever... that my momentary feelings of discouragement or defeat or even despair will last forever.
     But they won't.  Never do.  Eventually a peak is coming.  And God uses those peaks, but especially those troughs (hard as they are), for our greater good and His greater glory.  As Lewis puts it, because "He wants servants who can finally become sons."  Our Heavenly Father wants beloved sons--emptied of our selfishness and pride--so we can be filled to overflowing with Himself.
     So if you are in the midst of a peak right now, rejoice in the goodness of God and give Him the praise!  But if you are enduring a trough--take heart!  It will not last forever, and God is working and moving and using even the hardest and deepest of troughs to transform us into the men and women He's called us to be. Making servants into sons.  Transforming our weaknesses into strengths.  Turning our mourning into rejoicing.  And filling our emptiness with His fullness of joy and peace and hope and power.  It's the story of redemption painted all over the law of undulation...from peak to trough...all the way to heaven.
     To God--the Author of time and undulation and redemption--be all the glory.
     

Lift off!

      Somehow, someway this is all going to fit into half of a tiny dorm room. O, and this doesn't include the chair, the side table for the bed (which we forgot--back to Target), the lamp, the mattress pad.... Not entirely sure how all this will fit unless we can find that shrinker machine from the movie, "Honey, I shrunk the Kids."
      But we're claiming His promise--"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine..." (Eph.3:20)  Aren't you thankful He cares about the big and the small and everything in between?  Including emotional mamas.
 

       Arrived!  Everyone was incredibly annoyed that I was snapping pictures.  They will be even more annoyed that I am posting these pictures.  Ha!  Better be nicer to mom!
     And incredibly--because God is so good--the pouring rain held off long enough to get everything inside...and everything actually fit inside.  Wow--who would have thought?  We loved her roommate and suitemates and parents and room...and it was all pretty exciting and crazy and surreal all at the same time.
     Every now and then, even in the midst of the frenzy, I would think back in my mind to where we were exactly one year and a week ago.  And I would smile (and try not to cry) and whisper to my sweet Savior--thank You, Lord.  Thank You for Your grace and Your love and Your strength through every storm.  The words to "Cornerstone" kept running through my head:
My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus' blood and righteousness
I dare not trust the sweetest frame
But wholly trust in Jesus' name

Christ alone, Cornerstone
Weak made strong in the Savior's love
Through the storm
He is Lord, Lord of all

When darkness seems to hide His face
I rest on His unchanging grace
In every high and stormy gale
My anchor holds within the veil

Christ alone, Cornerstone
Weak made strong in the Savior's love
Through the storm
He is Lord, Lord of all
     And He was and He is and He always will be.  O might that be our hope and our strength and our song--He makes the weak strong in His love through every high and stormy low of our lives--and He is Lord of all.  We will all go through stormy gales...but in Him, our anchor will hold.
   

      After all that packing and unpacking, it was time for lunch.  Food--always a joyous time for the Fountain clan.  We may not have many gifts in our family, but dang, we love to eat...and we are mighty good at it too.  I am so proud.  And thankful--thank You for the gift of taste, Lord, and for the gift of delicious food.  Especially chocolate (always have to include that).

      Thank You, also, Lord, that other families have more useful talents than the Fountain's aptitude for eating.  The wonderful Jones family came to expend their giftedness at decorating and organizing and constructing (yes, that is a power drill in the hands of an orthopedic surgeon.  Only the best for our girl!).  Thank heaven for the Jones and their tools, since we didn't think to bring so much as a single nail, hammer, tape measure...nada.
      But we did have some chocolate.  So really, we were well prepared.
      And  again, I couldn't help but praise God seeing Tessa and Janie together.  One year later, wow.            Praise God from Whom all blessings flow.

     And finally, it was time to go home.  But not before one visit to Time Out with Dad...who explained to Janie that Time Out was open 24 hours a day and had incredible chicken biscuits (anyone familiar with Chapel Hill will know this extraordinarily valuable information, but Richard needed to know that Janie knew, because, well, that's just something you must know).
     As we left, I shouted out, "I love you!  Salt and light--make a difference!"
     And my heart whispered after her--O Lord, help her, teach her, that You are our Cornerstone--our Rock that never fails and our Refuge--through all of life's ups and downs,  joys and sorrows, from birth to launch to lift off.
     O Lord, we worship You, our Strength in weakness and our Song throughout gladness and gales.  You are Lord of them all and will be in them all with us.  Keep us praising and clinging to You, Father.
 To God be the glory.

Launching--Salt and Light!

     Getting closer to launch!
     Tessa, Ann Archer, and Janie (with a few of their siblings) all preparing to head off to college tomorrow!  Hard to believe the day is almost here.  Thank You, Father.  We do not take it for granted, not after last year.  Another blessing of the accident--God removed the blinders from our eyes that so often in the past might have caused us to miss the extravagant, but seemingly ordinary treasures He showers upon us.  School (and the simple privilege of being able to attend), regular schedules (rather than 24 hour vigils in ICU where night and day blend together),  football games, eating dinner as a family, laughing with friends, smelling (yeah, silly, but smells of all kinds--from smokey fires to freshly cut grass to roasting chicken--are marvelous!  You can't smell much of anything in the hospital), doing the laundry or cooking a meal for your loved ones...and on and on.  So many daily blessings--how on earth could we have missed them?
     So thank You Father for the privilege of sending our children out into this world.  Last night, a few families got together and challenged these girls--walk with Christ!  So many great comments:
    Don't hide your light under a bushel in college.  Be salt and light for Christ in a dark world.
     Every day put on the full armor of God, for you are daily entering into battle in enemy-occupied territory.
     Your professors are just regular folks too--don't be intimidated and get to know them.
     Remember you can't stand still in your faith--forget trying to sit on the fence, for you're always either advancing or retreating.
     Be open to God's new challenges and opportunities and don't be afraid to step out in faith, even when you're out of your comfort zone.
    Adults and older siblings all shared--what a great night!  Thank You, Lord, for good food, great friends, and glorious fellowship!
     But as I thought about the evening, I realized every challenge, every bit of advice applies not only to college students but to every one of us.  We all must daily put on our armor so we can walk through the minefields of life, secure in our Savior.  We all must daily be advancing in our faith--no fence-sitting, no retreat, no surrender!  We all should be ready to step out in obedience and faith when and wherever God calls us.  Sure, it's scary...but it's also the safest, most joyous place to be: in the center of God's will.
     And we all need to be salt and light in this world--it's why we're here.  "You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost it, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people's feet.  You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden.  Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house.  In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven." (Mt.5:13-16)
     O Lord Jesus, make us salty!  Salt is a preservative and and helps prevent decay.  Decay of culture, decay of hope, decay of hearts--we can be that salt.  And salt adds flavor and zest, just as we can be the salt that brings joy and light and life into our world.  And salt makes us thirsty--O might we thirst for the Living Water, Lord, and encourage that thirst in others.  Help us make them thirsty to find You, the ultimate and joyous satisfaction of all their heart's thirstiness.
     So as we've hollered out to all of our children for over 20 years whenever they've left the house--whether for school or for sports or for any event--
    "Salt and light--make a difference!"
     O Lord, may it be so for our college students...and all our students....and all their parents...and every single one of us.  Make us salty, Lord!  Make us shine brightly with Your Light.  And might we make a difference for eternity for You.  To God be the glory.

Preparing to launch

     One of God's delicate masterpieces preparing to launch.  Here today and gone tomorrow.  Yet robed in splendor.
     "Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on.  Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing.  Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?  And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life...Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." (Mt.6:25-27,34)
     Trying to remember this as we prepare to launch two of our children into college.
     We're packing up Janie this week for her freshman year, and if the North Hills Target has run out of merchandise, well, you know who to blame.  I'm quite sure we've bought one of everything--and I mean everything--in the store.  If they sold kitchen sinks, I'm betting we would have purchased one of those as well...and all the cleaning products to go along with it...and a few picture frames to go over the sink.  Our debit card is smoking.
     But in addition to expending vast sums of money on pop-up laundry bags, duvet covers, and hanging shelves, it's also just plain stressful and bittersweet sending your children off to college.  The bottom line?  I simply do not like change of any kind.  I want my children to stay home and not grow up and leave us.  I want my dog to be back under the kitchen table.  I want my memory to stop deteriorating and my hair to cease graying.   I want my friends and family not to suffer losses...of any kind whatsoever.  Here's a great idea: let's just all agree to maintain the status quo...out into the far distant future.
     Unfortunately, this option does not seem to be available to any of us.  Life means change...but God is in the midst of the change and challenges us to embrace it all.  He wants us to walk with Him through this crazy, ever-changing adventure of life.  Trusting that He is not only with us and beside us and behind us...but He is also just up ahead of us in whatever that unknown future holds for us and our loved ones.  He's already there in the future...and if He's already there, well then, that's where we want to go too!
     And so we launch our children into the big, wide world, trusting our Father has them and loves them infinitely more than we do.  We release our loved ones, our friends, our hopes, our dogs, our dreams, our futures into His nail-scarred, omnipotent hands.  We pray--and in our better moments, we know--He has them all.  And His ways and plans are always best.
     So back to Target.  I'm thinking of contacting Guinness to see if we've broken the world's record for the most trips.  I think we have a good shot at it.   But I'm choosing to place my trust in God's Word by refusing to be anxious for tomorrow. If God's got the birds and the butterflies, He's certainly got us...and our college students.
     Almost ready for launch...after a few more visits to Target.  But God will be there too.
     To God be the glory.
   

When you fall off the joy wagon...

     Fell off the wagon yesterday--the joy wagon.  The faith wagon.  And it wasn't pretty, though I guess it'd been a long time coming.
     It's been a challenging, tough summer.  The tragic deaths of several children of friends left many of us reeling in sorrow and bewilderment.  Ever since nearly losing Janie, it seems that I feel the pain of loss for others far more deeply and personally.  I'm thankful in a way, for I long to be able to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep.  That's what we are called to do, and I praise God for the gift of strong feelings and of being fully alive--to the joys and the sorrows.  But it makes the pain harder, more searing, and I feel it's weight far more than I ever did before.
     And then there were all the other lesser, but still difficult, losses: the death of sweet old Moses and the huge void our family feels without him.  The wreck in Kenya that injured our son, Richard, and several others on their mission trip.  Add to that all the anxieties that accident dredged up for us--though, again, we praise God for saving them all.
     And finally, it's been a tough summer of golf for one of our boys.  He has worked so hard,  tried and tried and never given up...even when the results don't seem to come.  What an example he has been to me of refusing to give in to discouragement and frustration.  I think I would have.  He hasn't.  Thank You, Father, that You choose to teach us through our children.  And thank You for his indomitable spirit that keeps on trying and trusting.
     Seriously, how else would we ever learn what it means to persevere unless we have difficulties and long, hard, challenges to slog through?  I know I'd prefer for my loved ones to tip-toe through the tulips and dance along happy, care-free, pain-free, and successful paths.  But then they'd have the staying power of mushrooms rather than mighty oak trees.  Praise You, Father, that You know so much better and You love so much deeper and greater.  You won't allow us to settle for fleeting happiness when You want us to enjoy the infinite and eternal joys of holiness.
     So all this is to say, I fell off the wagon yesterday.  Quite simply I told the Lord I was angry with Him.  I didn't feel His peace.  I didn't understand His plan.  I doubted His love.  And, by the way, I was tired and grumpy and sad and frustrated and overwhelmed with all I had to do. So there.
     Guess what?  He didn't strike me down dead for my extraordinary lack of gratitude.  He could have.  He should have.  But He didn't.  Because He simply never ever gives up on us.  Never leaves us when we fall.  Never forsakes us when we fail.  Never ignores us when we whine.
     Instead, He loves and teaches and encourages and empowers and renews through His Spirit and His Word.  He lifts up our weary gaze to His glorious throne.  He reminds us of His never-failing grace.  And He speaks to our discouraged hearts and breathes in renewed hope and strength and, yes, joy.
     Here's what I read in yesterday's Daily Light: "The Lord will not cast off forever.  Though He causes grief, yet He will show compassion." (Lam.3:31-32)  And "'Do not fear...' says the Lord, 'for I am with you....I will not make a complete end of you.  I will rightly correct you.'" (Jer.46:28) And "'With a little wrath I hid My face from you for a moment, but with everlasting kindness I will have mercy on you,' says the Lord, your Redeemer.  'For the mountains shall depart and the hills be removed, but My kindness shall not depart from you, nor shall My covenant of peace be removed,' says the Lord, who has mercy on you.  'O you afflicted one, tossed with the tempest and not comforted, behold, I will lay your stones with colorful gems, and lay your foundations with sapphires.'" (Isa.54:7-8)
     That's our God and there is none other.
     He is the Redeemer and Restorer and Reviver of our weary souls.
     And He is our Burden-Bearer...every single burden, every sin, every sorrow.  He has borne them all and will bear them all...from the cross to your present moment of weakness or pain or frustration...and all the way into eternity.  
     Anybody else need a little reminding today?  Might the balm of His Word restore your hope.  Might the power of His Spirit strengthen your heart.  And might the contemplation of His mercy, grace, and love revive your spirit.
    As Ann Voskamp says, "The answer to anxiety is the adoration of Christ."  O come let us adore Him...and find ourselves back on the wagon of faith and joy!  To God be the glory.