Statues to life

                       A little food for Monday-but-let's-pretend-it's-still-weekend-thought--

     Sigh.  Sort of reflects my state of busyness--that is now veering towards frayed tiredness--right at the moment.  Can we just all agree that it's still, say, Saturday morning?  Boy, that would be helpful with all I've got to do.  But since I'm not thinking the Lord will turn back time today, let's just try to maintain that weekend state of mind for few more minutes and find a moment to breathe deep and savor the invigorating freshness of the fall air...even if we aren't feeling very fresh!

     C.S. Lewis (of course!) writing of the two meanings for the word "life"--
      "We use the same word life for both: but if you thought that both must therefore be the same sort of thing, that would be thinking that the 'greatness' of space and the 'greatness' of God were the same sort of greatness.  In reality, the difference between the Biological life and Spiritual life is so important that I am going to give them two distinct names.  The Biological sort which comes to us through Nature, and which (like everything else in Nature) is always tending to run down and decay so that it can only be kept up by incessant subsidies from Nature in the form of air, water, food, etc., is Bios. The Spiritual life which is in God from all eternity, and which made the whole natural universe, is Zoe.   Bios has, to be sure, a certain shadowy or symbolic resemblance to Zoe: but only the sort of resemblance there is between a photo and a place, or a statue and a man.  A man who changed from having Bios to having Zoe would have gone through as big a change as a statue which changed from being a carved stone to being a real man.
      And that is precisely what Christianity is about.  This world is a great sculptor's shop.  We are the statues and there is a rumor going round the shop that some of us are some day going to come to life."

     Alleluia!  And today, Lord, that's what I need--I need for this heart of stone to be transformed into a heart of flesh pulsing with your life.  I need Your Word and Your Spirit to breathe life back into these weary, dry bones.  "This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life." (Ezek.37:5)
     Thank You, Father, that it's not us striving to turn ourselves from statues into living beings.  It's not our breathe that gives life to dry, desiccated bones.  It's not about working harder and pushing farther in an endless effort to measure up.
     It's You.  Start to finish--all You.  And You've promised that by Your grace and power,  we can do all that You've called us to do this day. Give us resurrection hope and renewal this day.  In You we place our hope and our trust.
     To God--who makes dry bone live and weary hearts refreshed--be all the glory.
   

Bird house faith

     Sitting on our kitchen windowsill--a frog and a tiny chapel bird house. Quite the juxtaposition!
     The frog's been perched up there for years--a silly mental note to Fully Rely On God.  Get it?  I'm a slow learner and a quick forgetter so it helps to have reminders strewn about the house!   
     The lovely chapel bird house, however, is a beautiful new addition, given to me by my sweet friend, Betsy, who saw it up in the mountains.  I wish I knew the story behind the artist, but I guess he'd rather me know The Story about The Artist...and so it's to God's glory alone that he creates his little masterpieces to encourage us all to remember the True and Glorious Artist.  I must say, the frog's expression seems to betray a bit of exasperation...as if to say, "Geez, I have to sit next to this?  Is this some kind of joke about beauty and the beast?
     Painted on the back of this tiny treasure is the reference to the verse--Matthew 6:26. "Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not of more value than they?" Boy, don't we all need that reminder daily!
      Yes, Lord, we are of more value than even the magnificent birds, for You made us in Your image.  And You tell us over and over again in Your Word of Your love and grace.  Every verse proclaims Your power, Your provision,  Your peace, Your presence...but we tend to forget.
      We're mighty good forgetters.
      We tend to wring our hands over the past that we cannot change, and worry over the future that we cannot control.  In the process of that fruitless, faithless regret and worry, we can completely forfeit the joy of the present day--the only day You've given us.  The only day we can live fully for You and by You.  The only day we can love our family and friends.  The only day that gives us the opportunity to make changes that could help and alter our future.  But we can't make changes today if we're preoccupied and focused upon yesterday's failures or tomorrow's worries.
     I'm betting the birds aren't out there today bemoaning the bugs that got away from them yesterday.  Nor are they fretting about whether our bird feeder will have enough seed tomorrow.
     Nope.  They're just busily working and eating and flying--today.  Today.  We've just got today.
     The Lord's given the birds--and us--today to soar--or to savor.  Today to work hard...but trust for tomorrow.  Today to love and encourage others.  Today to be kind.  Today to be grateful.  Today to rejoice in His gifts.  Today to worship the Gift-Giver.  Today to live to His glory.
     And today to know that the Lord Jesus will help us shoulder today's burdens.  Today's burdens--not tomorrow's...not yet.  But even as we hand Him today's hardships and difficulties, we'll trust that our forever faithful Burden-Bearer will give us the grace and the strength to handle those of tomorrow as well.  And somehow, in His sovereignty to work out all  things for our good and His glory.
     Augustine said it best: "Trust the past to the mercy of God, the present to His love, and the future to His providence."
     Our Father's got it all...so we can rest in Him.  To God be the glory.

A parking ticket reminder

     I know what you're thinking--this girl has totally lost her mind!  Tell me that is not a picture of her computer with a parking ticket taped to the top?!
     Yep, that's pretty much what it is.  But let me explain--
     My morning had gone from bad to worse...or at least from disorganized (my usual) to chaotic to totally falling apart.  Nothing major, I'm happy (and also embarrassed) to say--just the usual minutia and busyness of life that suddenly seemed to overwhelm me.  It was just one of those days where I had waaaaaay too much to do,  not enough time to do it, and constant interruptions and minor emergencies that threatened to send me off the deep end.  Even as I write this, I'm thinking, "Get a grip, girl!  Are you kidding?"  But at the time, I pretty much lost all perspective and felt, well, discouraged and defeated.
     I rushed in the house after running to do a chore for my husband that he really needed done right then, and it was fairly apparent I was at the end of my rope.  He didn't say anything at first--just handed me that ticket.  Words were unnecessary.
     The previous afternoon, we had my car cleaned for the first time since the earth's surface cooled, and the car cleaner guys (who were fabulous, incidentally!) put a couple of things on my car seat that they had unearthed from the deep recesses of my dirty car.  One of them was this little ticket.  I had paid no attention to it the day before but just threw it on the counter with the other stuff when I came in the house.
     But Richard had looked at it a little more closely and immediately recognized it: one of the parking lot ticket stubs from the hospital at ECU when Janie was in ICU a year ago.  We looked at the date on the ticket.  Sure enough, it was one of the really long, tough days when Janie was not only still unconscious and unresponsive, but also the day when her lungs suddenly became a huge problem.  In fact, that was a day we had felt particularly frightened because the doctors had to perform an emergency bronchoscopy to clear out one of her lungs so she could breathe.
     And here's all my husband had to say to me: "If you could go back to that day, what would you think about your 'problems' today?  Don't you think you would have been thrilled to trade these worries today with what you were facing then?"
     And he quietly taped the ticket on top of my computer as a reminder of God's goodness and grace.  God's utterly underserved graciousness and kindness that I, inexplicably, seemed to have completely forgotten with my present concerns.  His remarkable power displayed that I seemed to have completely discounted with my pressing chores.  His love and care and provision...that I, in my ingratitude and self-absorption, seemed to have completely disregarded.
     O forgive me, Father.  Forgive me for so frequently adopting the selfish attitude of "what have You done for me lately."  Forgive me for forgetting.  Forgive me for failing to live a life devoted to praising and thanking You constantly--in good times and bad.  In moments of joy and of disappointment.  In times of fulfillment and frustration.
     Thank You, Lord, for reminding me--You are good all the time...even when we can't see it.  Whenever the clouds shroud the sun, the sun is still there.  Our view is just momentarily blocked.  So too, help us to trust in You and Your love and Your goodness and Your grace even when our circumstances momentarily block our understanding.  Our circumstances change.  You do not.
     And so, might we all remember--our  God is forever faithful.  If you need a little help recalling, take a few minutes and list His gifts to you this past week.  List them all--from the lovely fall weather to the solace of friendship to the strength He gives to endure some hard, dark place.
     And then list the greatness of the Gift-Giver.  His love.  Grace.  Power.  Joy.  Forgiveness.  Kindness.  Strength.  Holiness.  Glory... and on and on...
     "Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer" (Rom.12:12)--our memory verse for this week's Bible study.  Yep, that pretty much covers it, Lord!  Keep us rejoicing, give us patient endurance in our trials and help us to pray without ceasing.
     For You are faithful and good...all the time.   Thanks for using a parking ticket to remind me.
     To God be the glory.
   

One choice...

                                A little food for weekend thought:

     From C.S. Lewis on the subject of our choices--

"Every time you make a choice you are turning the central part of you, the part of you that chooses, into something a little different than it was before. And taking your life as a whole, with all your innumerable choices, all your life long you are slowly turning this central thing into a heavenly creature or a hellish creature: either into a creature that is in harmony with God, and with other creatures, and with itself, or else into one that is in a state of war and hatred with God, and with its fellow creatures, and with itself. To be the one kind of creature is heaven: that is, it is joy and peace and knowledge and power. To be the other means madness, horror, idiocy, rage, impotence, and eternal loneliness. Each of us at each moment is progressing to the one state of the other.”

     We are studying Ruth 1 in Bible study right now, and the subject of our decisions has really been upon my mind: how our choices affect others;  how our seemingly inconsequential choices can shape our destiny; and how we are all only one choice away from a new beginning.  

     It's so true--each good decision we make--no matter how small--somehow makes the next good decision just a tiny bit easier.  But on the other hand, every sinful or selfish choice we make often proves to be a slippery slope that slides us deeper and deeper into a pit of sin or discouragement or defeat.  

     So often, the only answer is to start where we are.  Start small.  But start.  Stop delaying.  Stop making excuses for our crummy attitude or our poor self-discipline or our lack of love and kindness or our prideful jealousy or ingratitude.  

     Sometimes,  we just need to decide to start with that one small choice to die to ourself and refuse to share that gossip or indulge in that pity-party.  Maybe today we begin with the decision to do what God has called us to do on this day--despite our feelings. Just for today--don't worry about tomorrow, but do it today.  Or if we're really stuck in a pit of despair, perhaps we simply make the choice, as Elizabeth Elliot used to say, to "Do the next thing."  Even if that just means getting up and making the bed.  

     If we will take one tiny step of obedience, we will find that our relentlessly pursuing God--like the Father in Jesus' story of the prodigal son--is already running towards us to help us take the next step.  

     But it all begins with one step.  One choice.  One decision to obey--even if it's a tiny one.  After all, we serve a Lord who loves to take our teensy, insignificant bits and pieces and multiplies them beyond anything we can imagine.  

 O Father, help us this day to choose wisely.  Help us to choose You today.  Even if we start small, help us to start.  To God be the glory. 

On the lookout for cardinals

     God's little love note--a ruby red cardinal feasting at our bird feeder.  I've shared this before, but I have this funny secret understanding with God: whenever I see one of His brilliant crimson cardinals, it's His love note to me saying, "I love you!"  And every single time I see one, I always whisper back, "I love You, too, Lord."  Consequently, I keep our bird feeder constantly filled with the best bird food I can find--and in particular food that appeals to cardinals--because I love being reminded!
     Don't we all need those reminders of God's constant, unconditional, no-matter-what love for us?  Life can be so hard.  Right now I am praying for a number of dear friends who are struggling with such weighty sorrows, losses, and longstanding troubles.  As I prayed early in the morning, I wept with the sadness and perplexity of it all.  But I also released those burdens to our Great Burden-Bearer.
     Frances Ridley Havergal writes "In perplexities--when we cannot tell what to do, when we cannot understand what is going on around us--let us be calmed and steadied and made patient by the thought that what is hidden from us is not hidden from Him."  He sees.  He knows.  He cares.  And He is at work even in those hardest, darkest corners of our lives--especially in those places.
     But in those moments when we are tempted to despair in our circumstances or in the weight of the sorrow and hardship those that we love are bearing, we need, we must, have those "Cardinal Love Note" reminders that our God is there.  That He is faithful. That He is in control.  And that He is always working to bring all things together for our good and His glory. (Rom.8:28).  That's why I love to spot cardinals throughout my day--I need to be constantly reminded of His powerful, relentless influx of His love and Presence in my life.
      Because here's the thing I've learned--the daily grind of life will suck that sense of His love and power and presence right away from us.  Snatch it from us and cause us to doubt, to grow discouraged, to even despair.  Man, I am so quick to measure God by my circumstances rather than measure my circumstances by my Almighty God!
     There is one sure fire antidote for this destructive, hope-stealing dilemma.  We must confront and battle against the lies of our feelings of despair or fear with the eternal, powerful Truth of God's Word.
     Christine Cane put it this way: "When there is a fight between your heart and your head, experience has taught me that the best thing to do is pick up your Bible and remind yourself of what God says..You need to return to the truth of God's Word that will last forever, not meditate on circumstances that will change and fade."
     We have that choice daily.  Listen to the lies of "This is hopeless."  "They'll never change.""This is just how I am and I can't help it." "I will always feel this way."  "This disease will destroy me and my life."  "This relationship is beyond all hope"  On and on go the lies of destruction and despair.
     But the Word says... But the Word says...But the eternal Truth of God's Word says...But the cross reveals... But the resurrection shows...
     Fight defeat and discouragement with the Word.  Remind yourself a thousand times a day--God's Word says He loves me with an everlasting love and underneath are His everlasting arms. (Dt.33:27)  He promises us--"Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." (Isa.41:10) And "'Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet My unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor My covenant of peace be removed,' says the Lord, who has compassion on you." (Isa.54:10)
     O Father, help us make that choice daily--to choose to listen to Your great, powerful voice of Truth and love rather than stew in the destructive juices of our feelings of discouragement or fear.  Keep reminding us this day of Your love.  Might we meditate on Your love and power rather than our limitations and sorrows. Might we be preoccupied with You rather than our problems.
    This day we will have multiple opportunities to choose which voice we will heed.  Lord, remind us again and again that You are with us, that You love us, and that You are working all things--ALL things--for our greater good and Your greater glory.
     Keep sending those cardinals--and keep us on the lookout for them!  We love You, too, Lord!
     To God be the glory.

Remembering...thanking...loving

                                                         Just remembering--

     We looked up the other day while we were in Chapel Hill and saw this overhead--the hospital's medical helicopter.  I suddenly choked back tears as I thanked God for another helicopter exactly one year ago that flew Janie to the hospital at ECU and saved her life.  And another one that took Tessa to UNC to help her with multiple badly broken bones.  Thank You Lord.
      But here's the thing that struck me:  we never knew the names of the pilots or the medical personnel onboard that helicopters.  O how I wish I could thank them and tell them all that they accomplished--allowed two girls to go home to their families, to go to high school, to go to school dances and basketball games and Young Life and graduation.  And now to go to college.
      Do they know?  Do they have any idea how many people they have blessed through their faithful actions that Friday night a year ago?  Probably not.  Surely not.  But God knows.  We know.  And while we can't thank them personally, we thank our Father and ask Him--Lord, whisper encouragement deep into their hearts.  Give them strength and steadiness and wisdom and safety and courage as they do their job.  Might they see not with their eyes but with their hearts that every patient is a beloved daughter or son or  sister or brother or mother or father.  And might they know that every life they save is a life restored to those families...for another day to love, to laugh, to sing, to hug, to share.
     Yet, isn't that the case with everyone of us?  How can we begin to know the ways God will use us in someone else's life?  Who even this very moment might need for us to be their lifesaver?  No, maybe not on a medical helicopter or in an emergency room, but perhaps to give that desperately needed word of encouragement.  Or to be the arms and feet and hands of Christ and give that hug of love or that tear of empathy or that tender touch of healing or that quiet offer of grace and forgiveness.
     We might never know.  We will probably never know.  But God knows and that is His call.  To love others relentlessly.  Love till it hurts...and then beyond.  Love to exhaustion...and then beyond.  Love like He loved...without expecting a thank you or a pat on the back.
       Like those medical personnel, we may never know the difference we make.  We may never hear an audible thank you. But God speaks in ways deeper than words.   No love is ever lost or wasted or missed.  It is received and absorbed and God will use it and grow it in places and in people we may not ever know this side of heaven.  And somehow, in the end, I have to think He will take all that hurt and exhaustion and suffering and pain and bind it all up with His love and and enlarge it into something new and beautiful and huge.  Just as "death is swallowed up in victory," so His love swallows and transforms all that pain and suffering.
     So Father, help us take our eyes off ourselves and our petty problems and put them on You and on those around us who need Your love and Your touch.  Show us someone to encourage.  Someone to help.  Someone to forgive.  Someone to love like You love.
     And then help us do it again...and again...and again without counting the cost.  Because You didn't. O Lord Jesus, thank You.  To God be the glory.

Gratitude for golf...and other gifts

     For anyone reading this who hates golf, I apologize.  I used to be firmly in your camp, but I have to say I'm converted--thanks to three boys and a husband who love it so.  Now that doesn't mean I play--O nooo,  I watch, walk, and talk.  But those are three of my favorite pastimes anyway (watching, walking, and talking while enjoying God's glorious world, that is), so I'm good.  If we could just figure out some way to eat chocolate cake while doing all that, then golf would be the perfect sport.  I'll work on that.
     So today is simply a thank you note to God...but I hope it might remind you of some things for which to be thankful as well.
     Thank You, Lord, for the gift of watching our son play golf for Davidson College.  This time last year we were still with Janie in the hospital.  But this weekend we had the joy of watching his team play at a tournament at UNC-Chapel Hill.  Our Wildcats didn't play especially great, but they played,  we watched, and we enjoyed every moment of it...okay, well, except when I was feeling sick to my stomach due to gut-twisting anxiety over every shot.  Sigh.  I'm a work in progress.

     This will be one of my favorite memories of the weekend.  The guys had just played all day long on Saturday.  In college tournaments, they typically play 36 holes on one day and 18 holes the next.  Think of it--they walk and carry their own (extremely heavy) bags...for 36 long, stinking holes.  In case you're wondering, that is one heck of a workout.  They began playing at 8:30 in the morning and finished about 6:30 at night--and that's playing straight-through.  No breaks for lunch.  No breaks period.  Of course, they are all young bucks, so I'm not feeling too sorry for them, but still, it's a game that requires large doses of perseverance and mental toughness (more on that another day).
     Anyway, saturday had been a tough day for our beloved Wildcats.  None of them had played well.  Our son, Richard, struggled with his driving all day and after playing for 10 straight hours, he went over to the driving range to try to work on his driving.  His daddy went over and sat down behind him, just enjoying watching and being there with him.
     I ran to get my camera, but by the time I got back, the rest of the team had gone over to join him.  So here they all were, on the range near 7 p.m., working, talking, trying.  No other teams were out there, just our Wildcats, on a warm, lovely fall evening.  And a silent prayer of thanksgiving went up from this mama--thanking Him for the moment and the memory.
     And so thank You, Lord, for the gift of these fine young men that play with Richard.  Such a great group of guys.  (And we adore all their families too!) Here they are just after finishing the tournament--

     Another thank You, Father, that Janie and Peter were with us yesterday!  And of course, our wonderful friend, Ellen Culler, who pretty much ran the whole tournament--and who has been a dear friend of our family's for many, many years.  Thank You Lord for the gift of family and friends (especially old friends!).  Can we ever thank Him enough for the priceless gift and solace of family and friends?

     One more thank You, Lord.  Thank You that I was able to watch our son play without dropping dead of a heart attack on the course.  I have a long way to go as a spectator, but I did manage to watch without too many gasps or groans.  And, every now and then, I actually enjoyed it.  Of course, the rest of the time I thought I might spontaneously explode with anxiety or frustration, but well, I'm still here, so that's something.
      And it was a spectacular weekend--sunny, warm, just a hint of fall in the sweetly-scented air...God's glory in full display for a perfect fall weekend. If this sin-stained earth could be so breathtakingly beautiful, can we even begin to imagine heaven?  Wow, thank You, Father.

   Here's hoping today we will all pause to thank the Giver of all good gifts...the big and the little gifts, the ordinary and the surprising gifts, the eagerly anticipated and the not-so-welcome but still allowed by His sovereign hand gifts. And then go on to praise the Glorious Giver Himself who is infinitely greater than any and all of His gifts.  Might we live in the grace of gratitude this day knowing that our Father who relentlessly gives and blesses will not fail us in the future.
     "Let my mouth be filled with Your praise and with Your glory all the day... I will hope continually, and I will praise You yet more and more. My mouth will tell of Your righteous acts, of your deeds of salvation all the day, for their number is past my knowledge." (Ps.71:8,14-15)   Keep us grateful, Lord. Keep our mouths praising You this day.  To God be the glory.