Cardinals and the love of God!

Whew, it's been quite a while, but I'm thankful to be back! I shared with some ladies the other day something that I do that sounds kind of silly, but it is a small way to help me to keep my focus on God during the day. I guess it's a another way to, in Brother Lawrence's words, "practice the presence." Whenever I see a beautiful red cardinal, I always take it as God reminding me "I love you!" I love to walk our dog, Moses, on the greenway, and I don't think I can recall a day when I haven't seen at least one (and usually several) cardinals. Whenever I see one, I whisper "I love you too, Lord!" Every time I see a cardinal now, I smile and rejoice at the extravagant love of God!

But yesterday, as I walking I was listening to the daily audio Bible podcast (which goes through the Bible in a year) and the account of Jesus' crucifixion. It was a very wet, overcast day with heavy clouds and fog. As I pondered what Jesus had done for my sin and was surrounded by bleakness and dampness, I felt overcome by the divine love that willingly endured such agony and humiliation on our behalf. And then I saw the first brilliant spot of red fly right in front of me. I smiled and thanked God for His love, and then another beautiful cardinal and another landed in front or beside me on the greenway. They each stood out like bright red jewels in the gray landscape. In the space of 10 minutes, I can't even remember how many cardinals I saw but it was probably in double figures!

It was if God was telling me, "This is how much I love you. Look at the cross and see those wounds and the crimson blood, stark against the brown and muddy ground. See My perfect, sinless Son hanging on that cross for you. See Him alone and naked and bleeding. See His betrayal and humiliation and agony. But witness His single minded determination to die for His love of you. This is how much I love you--immeasurable and unconditional and infinite." Such is the love of God. How we need to be reminded--immense, incredible, indefatigable, infinite, indestructible love! One or two cardinals just would not do it--so God sent cardinal after brilliant red cardinal to remind this often preoccupied, forgetful, selfish heart how truly great He is and how truly wonderful what Jesus has done. O Lord Jesus, I remember and I repent and I rejoice! To You alone be all the glory forever!

P.E. in heaven!

As we were driving along in the car the other day, Peter (my 8 year old) out of the blue declared, "I can't wait to get to heaven 'cause we won't have to do any schoolwork." (We had just spent about an hour struggling with spelling homework!) He went on, "But don't even talk to me about P.E.! P.E. is going to be amazing in heaven!" Can you guess what he tells me everyday was his favorite part of the day?! Yep, we know heaven is going to be incredible and so it must include lots of P.E.!

When we daily ponder heaven, it puts everything else in our lives in perspective. When Peter shared this, I was reminded of an illustration I heard several years ago. The great old preacher, John Newton wrote: "Suppose a man was going to New York to take possession of a large estate, and his [carriage] should break down a mile before he got to the city, which obliged him to walk the rest of the way. What a fool we would think him if we saw him ringing his hands and blubbering out all the remaining mile, 'My carriage is broken! My carriage is broken!'"

And yet how often is this my foolish attitude! I have the infinite joys of heaven just before me, and I am blubbering "My energy is broken! or My parenting is broken! or My finances are broken!..." I have God's unbreakable Word that tells me He loves me and cares for me and guides me and strengthens me and renews me, but I am blubbering about my broken carriage--and the city is only a few minutes away! John Piper put it this way: "Picture this life as a journey on your way to receive a spectacular inheritance. It will protect you from idolatry and make all your burdens lighter, and quell all your murmurings."

Lord, forgive all my murmurings, my love of things and comfort and ease, my failure to be truly and continually and overwhelmingly thankful for the abundant life You graciously offer us now and the infinite and eternal joys of heaven in the future. It's less than a mile to the city...and all that fabulous P.E.! To God be all the glory!

When God says no

Sometimes God answers no to our most fervent requests. Physical healing, restoration of a relationship, fulfillment of long cherished dreams or desires, victory or success in a sporting event or school subject or business opportunity. We all love to joyfully share the affirmative answers to prayer--that is when God answers them the way we want them answered--and we are quick to give Him all the praise and glory.

But how about when His answer is no? Are we quick to thank Him and tell others about how great and sovereign and omnipotent He is?

I don't even need to answer that--at least when it comes to yours truly.

But God's no answers are just as sovereign and gracious and worthy of our faith and gratitude. Why? Because He is God, that's why. Because even when I can't see it or understand it, He sees fully and knows absolutely everything, and He knows what is best, pleasing and perfect. Because He loves us more than we could ever even begin to imagine, and so, like a loving parent, He always always always wants the very best for us. Because His Word promises us over and over again that He works all things together for good and that all His plans for us are good, and He loves us with an everlasting love.

Yet how quickly we forget! I am so often like a spoiled child with the "what have You done for me lately?" attitude. I can't see past my own nose to the bigger, beautiful picture He has spread out in front of me. How often I settle for infinitely less than He longs to give me, because I am so insistent that my way is the best way.

No, I will never understand horrific earthquakes and genocide and cancer. But I just have to trust that my Savior does, and what a glorious day that will be when He reveals His mysterious purposes behind all of the pain and suffering and we will truly understand for the first time.

But in the meantime, I choose to thank Him for His "no's," even when I don't always feel like it. I do it in faith and trust based on my knowledge of my Savior. I do it, because, just as I read last night in Streams in the Desert, "This thing is from Me." (I Kings 12:24). "My child, I have a message for you today; let me whisper it in your ear, that it may gild with glory any storm clouds which may arise, and smooth the rough places upon which you may have to tread. It is short, only five words, but let them sink into your inmost soul; use them as a pillow upon which to rest your weary head. 'This thing is from Me.'"

Nothing happens to any of us unless and until it passes through our loving, all knowing Heavenly Father. That's all I need to know--this thing is from Him so I can trust that somehow, someway it will be to my greater good and His greater glory.

I just read today's Caring Bridge entry from the husband of a mom about my age who is dying of cancer. Hospice has been called in, and her time on this earth is short. He writes: "It is a peaceful time, and we have been spending our time at home with footrubs, singing from various friends and family members, listening to praise hymns and Chris Rice CD's and trying to walk with the Lord each day that He provides us. He has told us not to worry about tomorrow; He will guide us with His perfect guidance and He in fact is holding our right hand as we go on this journey through life. We know that He leads us to Glory in eternity, and there is nothing that can separate us from His presence...[He thanks everyone for all their prayers and kindness] They are all being answered. We are prepared for each new day and what it is that God has in store for us. Rain, sleet, snow or shine, each day is a blessing because He knows His plan for our lives and it is GOOD!"

AMEN! So when God anwers no, it is really always yes in His perfect plan for each of our days. All our waiting on colleges with answers we don't necessarily like? It's yes in Him! How I love what he wrote--"each day is a blessing because He knows His plan for our lives and it is GOOD!" This from a loving husband watching His beloved wife die from cancer.

So thank You Lord for the yeses and the no's and everything in between! Help us all live our lives every single day with gratitude and joy and peace and trust that You are there, in perfect control, and "this thing is from" You--our loving, omnipotent Papa. To You be all the glory!

Waiting!

Waiting. Who likes to wait? No one (and certainly not me!). At Christmas this year, our annual letter was all about waiting, and how God works and moves and uses our waiting periods. It seemed like nearly every person involved in the Christmas story was waiting--from Mary and Joseph to the shepherds to the wise men to Simeon and Anna to the angels. And aren't we all called to wait?

But the last few days, God has been teaching us a bit more about waiting (and about my own sinfulness!). This is one of those blogs I hope and assume no one will read, but here goes! We have been waiting to hear if our son would get into a particular college yesterday (Jan. 31st). He got all the necessary paperwork in by the early november deadline so it's been almost 3 months of waiting since that time. The date to let everyone know online would be Jan. 31st.

So, starting shortly after midnight, we kept checking the website to see the results. Early the next morning, we kept checking. Every single one of his friends, except one, had heard by that morning (and most with good results). We kept checking, but the website continued to indicate that it was not yet available. Apparently, the website had some kind of malfunction and a small number of students could not yet get their results. So we waited and kept checking.

By the evening, the website malfunction had been cleared up, but there were still 150 students who had still not been reviewed yet. They would be reviewing these last students and let us know in the next couple of days. So we continued to wait.

So here's the confession part: I handled it pretty well until late yesterday afternoon. Then I started to feel pretty frustrated and discouraged, thinking, "why does this kind of thing always seem to happen to us?" "We have waited so long and I'm sick to death of waiting and just want to know something!" I was just generally in a grumpy, self-pitying mood and even got irritated with our dog for taking too long sniffing every blessed tree on our walk!

Of course, I am so thankful that My Lord does not let us stew in our sin and sinful attitudes. As I sat in the bathtub last night, He suddenly brought vividly to my mind the tragic sight of that poor father sharing brokenly about his daughter who had not yet been found in the rubble of Haiti. She had gone with a mission group from her school, and they had initially been told she had been found and had survived. They joyfully flew down to Florida to go meet her, but when they arrived, they were told the first report was incorrect, and they have still not found her. So they wait tearfully.

O Lord Jesus, I wept, forgive me selfishness and shallowness and sinful attitude. Boy, I really flunked that test of waiting. How quickly self-pity and pride and selfishness can swallow us whole if we are not on our guard. What a terrible, sickening sight it is to see how full of sin this heart can be.

But as I've shared so many times before, like John Newton, I cry out: how great a sinner I am and how great a Savior I have! What kind of God would take a spoiled, self-preoccupied, prideful sinner like me and offer complete and total forgiveness and a new start? As the song says, "there is no God like our God!" Those nails should have been mine. That beating belonged to me. That humiliating nakedness and desperate thirst deserved to have been mine. That betrayal and rejection--all mine and not the perfect sinless Creator of the galaxies.

But "God made Him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God." 2 Cor. 5:21 Because of my Savior, I can crawl up into the lap of my Abba, my Daddy, and tell him I'm so sorry and know that He loves me totally and forgives me completely. And He truly does make all things new! A God of 2nd and 3rd and 4th chances--unbelievable... but true! We can never fall so greatly or fail so miserably that His grace and love and mercy are not deeper and greater still.

So we are still waiting, but now we wait with joy and peace and patience. Because we are waiting with our Heavenly Father who has forgiven us and redeemed us and filled us. And after all, He's in charge of it all, from the tiniest microscopic cell to the largest galaxy--so what do we have to fear wherever we are waiting? No medical prognosis or relationship struggle or financial strain or seemingly hopeless situation is beyond His promise to use "all things" for His glory and our greater good. And so we wait and declare joyfully, to God be all the glory!

No compromise, no attention

We are reviewing the book of Daniel one last time in Bible study before we start 1 Peter, so I have to go back to the well one more time and look at the convicting example of this godly man. In looking at Daniel 6, I was struck by 2 things I had not noticed before (and how many times have I read this chapter?! God's Word is so amazing and always new and fresh!). Daniel has learned of the decree that anyone who worships any god or man other than the king "for the next 30 days" will be thrown into the lions' den.

The decree only lasted for 30 days! I've never seen that before! In other words, all Daniel had to do was to lay low for 30 days, and then he could worship God without fear of recrimination! Would I have been tempted to compromise? "Well, just for the next month I'll pray silently in my heart. God will understand. After all, He needs me here as His representative to these hopeless pagans." Surely Daniel could have justified some sort of compromise for that short period of time--but he didn't. Instead, he went to his room with the windows opened wide for all to see, got down on his knees, and prayed 3 times a day, just as he had always done. (v.10) No whiff of compromise whatsoever! And don't forget this was a very busy and important man who was one of 3 administrators of the entire kingdom. Surely he had little or no free time available.

What does it take for me to compromise? A funny look, a snide comment, a desire not to offend or to please? Or how often have I excused missing my quiet times because of my busy schedule? I think I'll get back going when things has "calmed down" (which, of course, they never do) or I have more time or I feel better... Daniel's example challenges me that there truly are no excuses for being not being faithful to God. It's time to step up and step out in faith and trust that God will use whatever happens to our greater good and His greater glory. And no matter how busy the day, I must daily choose to put Him first and trust He'll enable me to get all those other responsibilities finished as well.

But the second thing I noticed in reading chapter 6 were the snide comments of the jealous men who went to the king to tattle on Daniel. "...Daniel, who is one of the exiles from Judah, pays no attention to you, O king, or to the decree you put in writing. He still prays three times a day." v.13 I had to laugh at the attempt to put Daniel down with the reference "one of the exiles from Judah." By this point in the story, Daniel is in his 80's and has lived in Babylon for close to 70 years, and he has served as a top adviser to a number of kings of both Babylon and the Medes and Persians. Somehow, I don't think his status as a former exile would be the first thing that people would think of when it came to this distinguished old man. Yet they bring it back up in order to put him down and remind the king that he was not "one of us."

Moreover, you have to love the fact that they characterize him as paying "no attention" to the king or his decree! In other words, this guy is a fanatic, a rebel, a troublemaker. He is not a team player! He has some misguided notion that his God is far more important than the king or the king's (ridiculous) decrees. You get the feeling that nothing in this world could tempt or deter this man of God from loving, obeying and worshipping His Lord.

Boy, I want to be more like that! How often the siren song of the world's allures draw me in and away from the Lord I love. O, I "pay attention" to what the world is saying and doing and in the process, I miss the blessings God longs to give me if my focus was fixed upon Him. It really does come down to that: fix your eyes on Jesus the author and perfecter of our faith (Heb. 12:2). When we pay attention to something, we focus upon it, we look intently upon it. So I want my attention and my focus on Christ and not the world. It's okay to look but just not to focus. It is the gaze, not the look, that sanctifies.

Help me Lord to daily fix my eyes upon You and to pay no attention to that which seeks me to draw my affections away from You. We are called to be in the world and to be salt and light in that world, but even in the midst of the world (just as Daniel in the very heart of that pagan empire) we keep our focus, our gaze upon Christ. To God be the glory!

p.s. The snow is so beautiful today! Wow, what a wonderful transformed white landscape outside my door! What kind of a Creator would think of snow?! If the earth needed rain, He could have just created rain, but instead He created the unique, miraculous beauty of each snowflake! He is a Creator who did not just consider function but extraordinary beauty and wonder! There truly is no God like our God!

Sin overpromises and underdelivers

"Sin overpromises and underdelievers everytime." I just heard this brief snippet on the radio today, and it really struck me how absolutely true that is. On the front end, sin always overpromises: happiness, success, satisfaction, reward--all with minimal cost and little or no downside. We have an enemy whose daily delight is to deceive and destroy. "No one will ever know." "You deserve this." "Just this once." "It's time you finally enjoyed a little happiness." "This won't hurt anyone else." "Everybody else is doing it (or enjoying it or possesses it).

And then every single time, that sin gives birth to pain and disappointment and regret. When we choose to sin, we choose to suffer, for our enemy will always always always underdeliver. I cannot help but see the various sexual scandals swirling around right now, and can just about guarantee that those individuals never imagined the heartache and humiliation and betrayal their actions would eventually reap.

But lest I grow self-righteous, there but by the grace of God go I. The Lord knows the selfishness and pride and envy and ugliness that festers in my own soul. When I pass along that morsel of gossip or talk harshly to my husband or indulge my desires at the expense of someone else, I am giving in to sin just as putrid in the eyes of a holy God as that of the most hardened criminal. "For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me...Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!.." Rom. 7:18-20,24.

What excuse do I have for having a complaining, ungrateful, self-pitying heart when I have been not only forgiven so much, but enabled to live a life of righteousness through Christ?! I who deserve condemnation and instead receive mercy and commendation through the righteousness of Christ? I who am so unworthy have been declared more than worthy all because of my Savior?

I cannot help but reminded of Charles Colson's account of visiting a Brazilian prison several years ago that had been handed over to 2 Christian layman who planned to run it by Christian principles. The prison has only 2 full time staff and all the rest of the work is done by the inmates. Each prisoner must either join the chapel program or take a course in character development. Here are Colson's words:

"When I visited the prison I found the inmates smiling--particularly the murderer who held the keys and opened the gates to let me in. Wherever I walked, I saw men at peace. I saw clean living areas. I saw people working industriously. The walls were decorated with biblical sayings from Psalms and Proverbs. The prison has an astonishing record. The recidivism rate is 4 percent, compared to 75 percent in the rest of Brazil and the U.S. How is that possible? I saw it with my own eyes. When my inmate guide escorted me to the notorious punishment cell once used for torture, he told me that today it houses only a single inmate. We walked down a long cell block, a long corridor of steel doors, and came to the end and he peeked in. He paused. 'Yes, he's in there,' he said. Then he turned to me and asked, 'Are you sure you want to go in, Mr. Colson?'

'Of course,' I replied impatiently. 'I've been in punishment cells in 600 prisons all over the world.' Slowly the inmate swung open the door and I saw the prisoner in the punishment cell. I walked in and turned to the right and there on the wall, beautifully carved by the inmates, was a crucifix. The prisoner Jesus was hanging on the cross. 'He,' said the inmate, 'is doing time for all the rest of us.'"

Thank You Jesus for doing my time and taking my sin and my punishment. O might I live a life of gratitude and grace in response to what You have done and are doing. You are in that cell in Brazil and in those flattened buildings in Haiti. You are doing time in slums and palaces. Wherever there is sin and hopelessness and despair and death and defeat, You are there doing time, offering hope and redemption and renewal. In the darkest corners of the earth and the darkest recesses of my heart, You are there, ready to turn wretchedness into righteousness. What more can this overwhelmed and grateful heart declare than "Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!" Sin might overpromise and underdeliver but our Savior does abundantly more than all we could ask or imagine (Eph. 3:20) Lord, to You be all the glory!!

Go your way till the end!

This past week we are looking at Daniel 12 in Bible study. Now, I confess that I have struggled a bit with the last couple of chapters of Daniel. I loved the first 6 chapters, but, boy, the 2nd half of Daniel is tough sledding. I know every word in God's love letter to us is inspired, eternal, true, enlightening, and vitally important. But, these dreams and visions and beasts and mysterious conflicts seem so confusing and convoluted and, frankly, far removed from my everyday life. Sorry, Lord, I know I am supposed to love end times prophecy, but You know my fickle heart anyway so I may as well admit the truth!

But chapter 12 has turned it all around for me (though I still don't understand it too well!). Our hero Daniel, faithful in a faithless, pagan culture, has been given these myriad visions, and finally in 12:8 he responds to "the man clothed in linen" (who I assume is the pre-incarnate Christ) "I heard, but I did not understand. So I asked, 'My lord, what will the outcome of all this be?'" The Lord responds, "Go your way, Daniel, because the words are closed up and sealed until the time of the end." (v.9) In other words, "Don't worry about it, Daniel. You don't understand and you're not going to understand any time soon, but just keep on keeping on. Understanding is not a prerequisite to faithfully staying the course."

And then, I read the last verse in Daniel, and it's got to be my favorite! The Lord urges Daniel "As for you, go your way till the end. You will rest, and then at the end of the days you will rise to receive your allotted inheritance."

Did you catch it? "Go your way till the end." That could be Daniel's theme song! Way back in chapter 1, we saw Daniel resolving not to defile himself with the king's food and wine (1:8) and at the end of the chapter, we learned, "Daniel remained there until the first year of King Cyrus." In chapter 6 (Daniel in the lion's den), we see Daniel defying the royal edict to only worship the king. "Now when Daniel learned that the decree had been published, he went home to his upstairs room where the windows opened toward Jerusalem. Three times a day, he got down on his knees and prayed, giving thanks to his God, just as he had before." (6:10) Day after day, month after month, year after year, decade after decade, this faithful man has worshipped, obeyed, and served His Lord. The threat of hungry lions does not deter him. The tempting pleasures and delights of a decadent pagan culture cannot deter him. The intrigue of new kings and assassinations and power struggles cannot deter him. Extraordinary busyness when he is the king's adviser cannot deter him. Old age and loneliness and being pushed to the side cannot deter him. He just keeps praying, keeps obeying, keeps loving His God whether he understands what God is doing or not.

And so, this faithful old man, who has been praying 3 times a day and serving His Lord continually for so many years in such a barren and thankless place, refuses to quit no matter how hard the going gets, no matter how dark and confusing the future appears to be. "As for you, go your way till the end." That is exactly what Daniel has done all his life and will do to the end. Perseverance of the saints. I love the definition of this: falling down and getting up. Falling down and getting up. Falling down and getting up--all the way to heaven.

Winston Churchill, in one of his most famous speeches delivered during the darkest days of World War II, expressed this in a way I'll never forget. He stood to address a graduating class and simply but urgently declared: "Never give up. Never give up. Never, never, never give up."

We would do well to take his words to heart as Christians. We may not understand what God is doing. We may wonder why truth is "forever on the scaffold" and evil forever on the throne. We may grow weary in the battles of life. We may feel like the heavy burdens placed upon us are simply too much. But Daniel would urge us to keep going your way till the end. From the perspective he has now, he would encourage us that all the struggle and confusion and difficulty will someday be more than worth it. This is nothing profound, but sometimes I just need to be reminded not to quit. Not to give up or give in or give out. If Daniel can make it all the way to the end, then so can we. We have the same almighty God who enables us and sustains us. He has promised--and we can count on it. All the way to the end.