Bare, brown sticks...

         Just remembering...in the heart of winter, in the depths of cold, grey, and ice, our lovely camellia bush bloomed and bloomed--

         Oh my, how much joy that beautiful bush has brought me!  Some friends gave it to us when my daddy went home to heaven a number of years ago, and despite my abysmal gardening skills, this camellia has flourished and grown.  Truly, against all odds, this bush and it's blooms have proliferated and stunned us year after year.  Have I said "Thank You, Lord?"
         But apparently this bush needed to be "trimmed," as it's hefty roots are supposedly starting to interfere with our house's foundation.  (Do you sense that I'm a bit dubious?)
       And so, this is what our "pruned" bush looks like today--

          Yes, that pitiful bunch of brown, bare sticks is our camellia bush.
          For the record, this stinks.  Seriously.
           I look at our camellia and want to weep.  The bush is literally one fourth of it's lovely, towering size just a few weeks ago.  Gone are it's profusion of shiny green leaves...in fact, there are no leaves at all.  And no more comfortable shade under which Bingley enjoyed taking sweet summer naps.  And absolutely no possible prospect of any bright red flowers anytime soon...or as best I can tell, ever.  
           Frankly, as I'm gazing forlornly at my beloved camellia, it appears completely hopeless.  This lovely bush will never recover, I'm quite sure.  Forget it.  Lost cause.  No way, no how.  Will never, ever happen.
           Or at least that's what my senses shout to me.
           But I'm just wondering if what's appears differs dramatically from what's actually happening?   If what I feel doesn't at all reflect what's really true?  If the tiny, limited slice of what I can see has no correlation with what the Lord is doing and knowing and seeing?  
           Somehow, someway, I have the tiniest glimmer of hope hidden deep in my heart that our Almighty God is working and moving and growing and redeeming in countless ways that I cannot see and do not know.  And maybe, just maybe, that's exactly what He's doing not just with our camellia bush but with all the hard, dark, scary, bewildering things going on in the lives of countless dear friends.
            Well, my fallible, ever- vacillating feelings might exclaim "maybe" but my faith says "definitely!"  I have dear friends dealing with cancer...and heart surgery...and lost jobs...and death of loved ones...and despair.  But we can know, know, know that the sovereign Lord of Heaven and Earth is at work and is doing mighty and wondrous things we cannot begin to imagine.  "I will lead the blind by a way they do not know, In paths they do not know I will guide them I will make darkness into light before them And rugged places into plains These are the things I will do, And I will not leave them undone." (Isa.42:16)
           And in those dark, difficult, discouraging places, He's moulding, equipping, reviving, restoring, redeeming, and teaching.  As Isaiah 45:3 reminds us, many of God's choicest lessons are revealed only in the darkness. "I will give you the treasures of darkness and the hoards in secret places, that you may know that it is I, the LORD, the God of Israel, who call you by your name."
           So today, Lord, we join the psalmist in declaring "I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry.  He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.  He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in Him." (Ps.40:1-3)
         Yes, Lord, yes--do it again and again!  And while we wait, we will trust in You. Our lives may look like a bunch of bare, brown sticks, but we're waiting and trusting in You, our omnipotent God of Resurrection and Redemption who is even now making all, all, all things new.
       To God be the glory.  

Preach it!

         I love these wise words from  Paul David Tripp--
We just never stop talking
to ourselves.
We never stop preaching
some kind of gospel
to ourselves.
It's a gospel of
aloneness,
partiality,
poverty,
inability--
of functional hopelessness--
or
it's the true gospel of
Jesus Christ,
a gospel of
hope,
mercy,
forgiveness,
rescue,
love,
transformation;
of never being alone,
of never being without help;
of One who is near,
of One who cares;
of a beautiful forever
awash in victory.
We're always listening
to
what we're preaching.
        I've repeated it ad nauseam, but we (or at least I) need to be reminded ad infinitum!  We're always preaching to ourselves, and we--yes we--each decide what we will be preaching and preaching and preaching to ourselves.  Stop blaming your parents or your siblings or your boss or your friends or your politicians or your enemies or your circumstances or your whatever!  We choose what we preach to ourselves, and what we choose radically affects our thinking, our attitudes, our behavior, our everything!
       So what will it be: the life-giving, joy-sustaining, hope-infusing, strength-reviving Truth of the Gospel or the negative, worrying, destroying, despairing, fretting, complaining lies of the enemy and of our selfish flesh?  We choose.  On a moment-by-moment basis, we choose what we will preach and repeat and imbibe and digest.  And what we choose slowly but inexorably transforms us into people of faith, hope, and love or into people of fear, despair, and hatred.
       "Preach the word; be ready in season and out of season," Paul says in 2 Tim.4:2.  And this written by a man imprisoned for what he knows is the last time and facing his imminent execution.  But he's still preaching to others and to himself.  As he nears the end of his life, these are some of his final words: "I have fought the good fight.  I have finished the race.  I have kept the faith.  Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day and not only to me but also to all who have loved His appearing." (2 Tim.4:7-8)                   In a dark Roman dungeon.  Alone.  Cold.  Facing execution.  And Paul's preaching it all the way to the end...which for him meant the beginning.
        How about us?  What are we preaching to ourselves on a daily basis?  What are we preaching today?  Let's choose the Truth of the gospel, the word of Life, the very Word of Almighty God.  Preach it!
         To God be the glory.  
     

What's your soundtrack?

         What's your soundtrack?
         Seriously, what's the soundtrack that tends to play over and over again in your mind?
         This question has captured my attention and convicted my heart after listening to some powerful sermons via podcast by Louie Giglio (pastor of Passion City Church in Atlanta).  In one of those sermons, he spoke of how many of us have an internal soundtrack that plays an endless loop of fear and failure.  That voice of doom speaks words of defeat and destruction--"This will not end well...You will never make it...The worst will happen...Nobody loves you...You will always be alone...The future will be bleak and full of failure and suffering...It's hopeless, they (or you) will never change..." and on and on it drones.
          Haven't we all been there at one time or another?  I confess to my shame that I tend to "catastrophize"--assuming the absolute worst possibility as the outcome.  (For instance--"this isn't just a minor headache...it's a brain tumor....or my child isn't just late getting home--he's been in a terrible accident or been kidnapped by terrorists...or..."  Sigh).  This tendency would be laughable if it weren't so terribly destructive and joy annihilating.      
        Yes, we all know it's true that sometimes, just sometimes, things do turn out for the worst...but then, won't God be there too?  Of course He will!  Our God promises to be with us in the storms of life, but when we catastrophize (yes, I realize that may be a made-up word, but I'm hoping you get my meaning), we're completely missing out at both ends of the spectrum.  First on one hand, we're forgetting the wonderful possibility that our God--Who is the Giver of all good gifts--can, and often does, bestow tremendous blessings and work things out in an incredibly positive and beneficial way.  Because He is able to do far more abundantly than all we ask or think. (Eph.3:20)
         But on the other hand, if the worst does in fact occur, well then, our  Lord has promised to never ever leave us nor forsake us. (Heb.13:5)  He will be right there with us in the storm and will use it all for our greater good and His greater glory.  After all, since He works ALL things out for the good of those who love Him (Rom.8:28), why should we cloak the unknown future with fear and dread?  What good does that do us?   And when we do that, we're utterly removing Almighty God from the equation! But He's promised--and the Lord always keeps His every promise--to always be with us, to strengthen us, to give us all that we need to get through whatever it is, and to use it all, all, all for our good.
         Words of self-condemnation, discouragement, defeat, and doom--these are the soundtrack of fear.   It all ultimately comes from a place of fear, doesn't it?  Fear that God isn't really good. Fear that His plans and ways really won't be for our good and His glory.  Fear that we will not have what it takes to get through life.  Fear of the future...which means we're factoring that future without God.
         But Louie said something that really struck me.  "Fear is faith in the enemy."  Think about that.  When we fear, we're actually placing our faith in the enemy and in his lies and deceptions.  We're believing what the enemy says rather than believing what our Almighty Lord says.
         We all have faith...but the question is--in Whom are we placing our faith?  If we put our faith in the enemy's lies of defeat and death, we will be listening to an endless, hopeless soundtrack of darkness and despair.  But that's just it--it's all lies.
         But we have the choice!  We can choose in Whom we'll place our faith and in which soundtrack we will listen.  We can change the soundtrack and replace those dark, despairing lies with Truth.  Real Truth.  The Truth of God's Word. The Truth of Who He is.  The Truth of what He has done.  The Truth of His powerful promises.  The Truth of the Gospel.  The Truth of all He has in store for those who love Him.
         We can and must set our hearts and minds to the soundtrack of God's Truth and listen to His words filled with Life.  His Words of Love. Of Grace.  Of Joy.  Of Peace.  Of Forgiveness.  Of Power.  Of Redemption.  Of Hope.
          Make your soundtrack today.  Choose  to stop listening to the lies.  Reject and shut down that soundtrack.  And instead fill your heart and mind with the soundtrack of God's Word.  "Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God." (Rom.10:17)  Read it.  Meditate on it.  Memorize it.  Pick one verse that speaks to your fears, and write it down. Carry it with you.  Repeat it throughout the day.  There's nothing more powerful than God's supernatural Word.
          But also make a literal soundtrack!  Go onto itunes or Pandora or whatever technology you use and choose some hymns and worship songs that lift your heart and mind to the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords.  I can still remember certain praise songs that we played in Janie's ICU room in those darkest of days, and I cannot tell you how they strengthened and encouraged our battered, frightened hearts.  Truly, to this day, when I hear one of those songs, I weep, because I remember and know how God powerfully ministered to us through the words and music.  Oh what a priceless gift music is to us!  As Giglio says, "The antidote to fear is faith, and the soundtrack of faith is worship."  And if you ask me, there's nothing like worshipping with music.
        "My heart is steadfast, O God, my heart is steadfast!  I will sing and make melody!" (Ps.57:7)
       Change the soundtrack today.  In the words of the great old hymn, "Tune my heart to sing Your praise."  Tune your heart to the soundtrack of Truth.  Tune your heart to the soundtrack of worship and praise.  Tune your heart to the beautiful soundtrack of your great and glorious God.
       To God be the glory.
       

Always pray and not lose heart

        "Men always ought to pray and not lose heart." (Luke 18:1)
       Anybody need those words today?  I sure did.  I sure do...everyday, every hour.  We've been praying for some needs for a number of very dear friends, and the last couple of days, well, I started to grow a bit fainthearted.  A bit weary and wondering and discouraged.
        And then I read those words in yesterday's "Daily Light," and the Holy Spirit gently but clearly convicted, encouraged, and exhorted my often weak and vacillating heart.  "Pray always, Emily.  Don't lose heart.  Don't quit.  Don't forget.  Don't flag.  Don't give in.  Just pray always, keep praying...and Do. Not. Lose. Heart."
        Why?  Because of Who we're praying to!  The Almighty, all-glorious, all-powerful, all-loving, all-gracious, all-wise Lord of heaven and earth.  The One who never makes a mistake...not ever.  The One who loves us extravagantly beyond all reason and explanation (and for proof of that, look at the cross!).  The One who has infinite power and can do all things.  And the One who knows all things and whose plans and ways are always good, pleasing and perfect.
        That's the Awesome and Glorious One to Whom we pray.
        What's causing you to lose heart today?  Keep praying and keep praising by "looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him, endured the cross, despising the shame and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.  Consider Him who endured from sinners such hostility against Himself so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted." (Heb.12:2-3)
        That's how we keep from losing heart--we keep looking and gazing at Jesus. We keep our noses in His Word.  We keep talking to Him in prayer.  We keep meeting with His body--our fellow believers.  We keep reading and meditating and memorizing His life-giving, supernatural words that will change us and shape us and mould us and give us the mind of Christ and the power that raised Him from the dead.
        In short, we keep on keeping on in faithfully following and trusting and walking with Jesus.  And we can keep on, we can persevere and not lose heart, because He never did.  Not for a moment.  And because our risen Savior's Spirit lives within us, then if He can, we can too.  If He loves, we can too.  If He prays, we can too.  If He gives, we can too.  If He perseveres no matter what, well, then we can too.
        But just in case we didn't get the message (because if you're anything like me--slow learner, quick forgetter, stubborn as all get out--I need to hear it again and again), there was this: "Continue earnestly in prayer, being vigilant in it with thanksgiving." (Col.4:2)  Continue in prayer.  Pray earnestly.  And be vigilant to pray with thanksgiving.  Even when we're waiting and waiting and waiting.  Even when the answers aren't what we want and desperately desire.  We're still to be vigilant to keep on praying and to pray with thanksgiving.  Whew, that's not easy...but oh how I've seen and experienced the supernatural power of thanksgiving.  Praise--especially praise in the dark, hard corners of life--has an atomic, attitude-changing, life-altering power like nothing else.
         Oh Father, help us to continue to pray for our friends and family.  Help us never to lose heart but to continue to vigilantly, consistently, perseveringly pray with thanksgiving and praise as we look to You, depend upon You, follow You, obey You, enjoy You, trust You, call upon You, and walk with You.  We know You are "able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us" (Eph.3:20), so we ask that You do it, Lord!
         Help us to "Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer." (Rom.12:12)  And we wait and watch in eager expectation to see the great things which You, Almighty Lord, will do.
         To God be the glory.    
       

How to have a great day--

        Do you want to know how to have a really great day?  Well, I reckon folks could come up with a million and one suggestions, but I'm gonna make this fairly short and sweet, and this little sign we recently put up in our house pretty much says it all--

         That's why we're here folks--to love God and to love people.
         But sometimes I forget.  Anybody else?
         Because you see, sometimes I act as if life is all about being busy, busy, busy and crossing off every item on my to-do list.  Or sometimes I act as if life is all about those I love being comfortable and happy and healthy.  Or sometimes I act as if life is all about working hard, doing good, being right, and achieving success.  And sometimes, ugh how this pains me,  I just plain old act as if life is all about--to quote Miss Piggy--moi!  Me, myself, and I.  It's called selfishness, and man oh man, is it ever ugly.
         But when you boil it all down, God put us here first to love Him--which means fixing our eyes on Him, listening to Him, talking to Him, enjoying Him, trusting Him, savoring Him, praising Him, and glorifying Him.  And secondly to love those He has put in our paths and in our world--which means praying for them, honoring them, respecting them, serving them, thanking them, being patient and kind to them, rejoicing with them, weeping with them, and putting them and their needs ahead of our own.
        Just in case you're wondering, I'm not making this up.  Nope, Jesus made it crystal clear when He responded to the question of what's the most important commandment of all.  He answered, "The most important is, 'Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.  And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.  The second is this: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.  There is no other commandment greater than these." (Mark 12:29-31)
        Gee whiz, we can get ourselves all twisted up into a knotty mess by making things far too complicated, can't we?  Yet, this is so simple, so profound, and so absolutely life and world altering--love God, love others.  Yes, there's so much wrong with the world right now. And yes, there's so much wrong with our sinful, selfish hearts.  And yes, we all have infinite areas where we need to improve and do better.  Goodness, I'm at the head of the class when it comes to all the ways and places I need to change and repent and do far, far better.  
         But how about we just start here?  How about we start right here at the very place Jesus said was the most important of all--love God, love people.
         And yes, we cannot, cannot, cannot do it on our own.  Hello selfishness, pride, envy, laziness...            BUT welcome Holy Spirit!  Our Counselor, our Convictor, our Guide, our Power, our Enabler, our Strength.  We can't do it...but He can.  He is God's Spirit put within us, enabling us to love like Jesus loved.
         For you see, just as we come to faith all by grace ("For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one can boast." Eph.2:8-9), so too we live, we obey, we thank, we glorify, and we LOVE all by His grace.  As Dave Mathis put it in his wonderful little book, Habits of Grace, "It is in this endless sea of His grace that we walk the path of the Christian life and take steps of grace-empowered effort and initiative."
          Goodness, I said this was going to be short, so if we want to have a great day, then it's time for me to shut up so we can go find someone with whom to share the endless ocean of God's love.  Maybe we can't heal all the divisiveness and ugliness in the world...but we can help someone who needs it.  We can forgive someone.  We can share with someone.  We can speak God's life-giving words to someone.  We can pray for someone.  We can encourage someone.  We can put aside our agenda and spend time loving someone.  
           Today let's ask God to enable us to love Him with all our heart, soul, mind and strength and then to empower us to love others with His love.  If we can do those two things, we can chalk this up as a mighty good day.  No, in fact, this will be a gloriously great day.  
           Love God, love people. The end.  Let's do it!  To God be the glory.    

Three lessons from May

                            Three things I've learned in the month of May--

         1. Sometimes you just have to start.  Forget perfection...or ideal...or completely and thoughtfully all planned out.  Because waiting for that magic moment--for me, at least--means never. As in never actually clearing out the clutter and giving things away that other people could be using and enjoying.  Or never writing this blog.  Or never getting together with your girlfriends for lunch.  Or never actually cooking and trying those recipes that you keep cutting out of the cooking magazines and stuffing in a drawer.  Or never tackling that big, overwhelming project because it's so, well, big and overwhelming!  Or never calling that couple you miss seeing so much and with whom you want to go out to dinner.  Or never writing down those three things for which you are thankful each day.  Or never memorizing God's Word (partly because you can never quite decide which passage to memorize.  Geez.)
           Thinking about starting it someday in the future doesn't count.  Because have you noticed, that day never quite seems to arrive?)  
           Yep, for me "someday" or "sometime" or "eventually" means never.  And I'm sick and tired of never.  I just wanna start...even haltingly or tentatively.  Anybody else?
           So how about we just begin.  Just take that first teeny tiny baby step.  Write a couple of sentences--even if they're crummy.  Make the phone call--leave a message if necessary.  Choose one drawer to clean out--start small, but start.  Choose a weekend and write it down on your calendar--then make plans to get away, even if it's just driving downtown for dinner at a jazzy new place.                      But here's the point: we need--excuse me, I need--to stop making excuses and just start.  Which is why I'm finally writing this blog after being overcome for the past week or so by a deadly combination of inertia, laziness, and busyness...but mainly inertia and laziness.  Let's face it--life is always busy.  We have to make time for what matters.  So  yes people, sometimes you just have to grab yourself by the bootstraps and say, "Okay, just start.  Just take one step to begin.  You don't have to finish.  You don't have do it perfectly or even well...you simply have to start to do it and leave the rest up to God."

          2. Change and transition are difficult--really, really difficult.  I need to be prepared for this so it doesn't catch me unawares and knock me tumbling over like a rogue gigantic wave in an otherwise calm ocean. And it's okay to cry over what's past and gone.  But after having yourself a good cry or a brief pity party (I said brief--I need this reminder), then it's time to embrace the new God is bringing and trust that His plans and ways are always for our good and His glory.  What good does it do us to wallow in sadness and discouragement?  How does it help to worry over the unknown future?  Zip.  Nada.  Zero.
           Instead, these are the times we need to follow David's example and "strengthen ourselves in the Lord."  That's my second lesson--though it's one I need to learn and relearn about every other day!  Whether we feel like it or not, we need to open God's Word and listen to Him speak to us.  We need to see His beauty and glory revealed in page after page.  We need to preach the Truth of the Gospel to our hearts...and we need to do it over and over again.

           3.  And related to the above, this is surely my favorite bit of wisdom I learned this month, and it's a fabulous quote from John Piper: "Occasionally, weep deeply over the life you hoped would be.  Grieve the losses.  Then wash your face.  Trust God.  And embrace the life you have."      
           Wow, that pretty much says it all and that's the very best thing I learned in May.  Thank you, John Piper--and thank You Lord for the gift of all the wise mentors and role models in our lives.

           I don't know where you are right now, but I'm praying one or more of these life lessons from May might encourage and strengthen your heart.  So start--preferably today.  Strengthen yourself in the Lord.  And weep the loss, wash your face, trust God, and embrace your life today.
           To God be the glory.
            

Thankful for the old; hopeful for the new

        It's been a whirlwind of a week.  After an incredibly busy four days of graduation dinners, dances, ceremonies, and a grand finale of Mother's Day/graduation lunch with all our family, Janie's finally an official Carolina grad.  Thank You, Lord, thank You!
        Just a few memories: One of my very favorite pics from the weekend--all the crew running to graduation since they were late (but they made it just in time!).  Love, love, love these girls!  Thank You, Lord.

        Our dearest Aunt May May with our grad.  So thankful for the priceless gift of brothers and sisters and family.  Thank You, Lord.

          Then there's the beloved Old Well in the background...with beloved brothers in the foreground!  Thank You, Lord.

           And all the fam for the grand finale of Mother's Day/Graduation lunch.  Loved so much being with cousins and aunts and uncles and grandaddy!  Thank You, Lord.

           And then there was the UNC hospital emergency helicopter landing right at the end of the ceremony.

I looked at my husband and sister, and we all smiled (and maybe shed a tear).  How fitting to end Janie's years at UNC.  Just such an emergency helicopter had saved her life nearly five years earlier.  I felt that rush of gratitude all over again--grateful for the nurses and doctors and emergency personnel who saved Janie and Tessa.  Thank You, Lord, for all those who work incredibly hard every single day and night to bring healing and help to so many in desperate and dark places.
          So much for which to be thankful.  But here's the thing--we're overwhelmingly grateful to God...but I have to admit that I also spent a good portion of that Sunday evening weeping.  Yes, crying my eyes out that it was all over and yet another one of our children was grown and saying good-bye to our home.  Weeping that these wonderful girls at 501 North would all be leaving and moving all over the place.  Lamenting that, once again, life was changing forever.  Oh brother, how can you be so thankful and thrilled...but at the same time so broken-hearted?
         I don't want all these girls to go their separate ways--I want to be able to continue to see them every week and enjoy their joy in all things Carolina.  What incredible and beautiful friendships they have enjoyed--thank You, Lord--but I don't want it to end for any of us.  Can't we just avoid all this change and transition and growing up and moving away stuff?  Seriously?  Sigh, guess not.
         I reckon it's time to take my own advice--repeated ad nauseum to my children and friends--that's a quote from the great Dr. Seuss: "Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened."  Yep, the crying's now stopped and the smiling's recommenced!
       After all, there's not one blessed thing any of us can do to stop life's inevitable changes...and we surely can't--and mustn't--keep our children from growing up and moving out and away into God's glorious plan for their lives.  Gotta open up the old tight-fisted heart and hands, let those children fly, and trust that--as my dear friend Kelly always says--"God's got this!"  God's got our loved ones.  God's got us.  God's got the unknown future.  And God's got this crazy old world in His nail-scarred, loving, powerful, and perfect hands.
       "Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?  I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." (Isa.43:18-19)  God is indeed doing new things every single day for every single one of us.  He's making new ways in the wilderness.  H's crafting new streams in the howling desert.  
       He's working and moving and transforming and redeeming and reviving and resurrecting.  And He's doing it today.  On this new day that He has given us.
      Let us trust Him and embrace the new--the new that He is doing and bringing.  Let's choose to be thankful for the old, trustful for the present, and hopeful for the new.
         To God be the glory.