Our identity as moms

The other day I heard Lysa Terquerst share that "Sometimes, we moms base the solidity of our identities on the fragile choices of our children." That is so true. When my children make good choices and are doing well, I feel happy and secure and content. But when they make poor choices or when they fail in some way, I always feel like I have failed as a mom. My identity must never come from my children's successes or failures, from the organization or lack thereof of my home, from my appearance, from my friends or my stuff or my gifts. My identity and worth come from Christ. My identity comes from the fact that the God of the universe saw me, even in all my sin and failure, and said, "I choose her. I want her as my beloved child. She is my girl."

So for those of us who struggle in this area, stop building the solidity of your identity on your children's fragile choices. "On Christ the solid Rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand." Your identity and worth comes from Christ; He is the solid Rock that will never fail or disappoint. He has loaned you those children to love and guide and mentor, but ultimately we must entrust them to Him and to His plans for each of them. We must "be courageous enough to allow God to write their testimony." To Him be the glory.

Spelling, Part II

Well, back to the dreaded spelling words again--but Peter knew those words cold! We had gone over and over them, and every time we did practice tests, he got them all correct. I could hardly wait to open his folder yesterday to see that 100 proudly emblazoned across the top of his sheet! Imagine my surprise when I inexplicably saw not a 100 but a 76--he had missed FOUR words!! Words he absolutely knew how to spell! Words we had even quickly gone over that morning. Words we had practiced and practiced and then at the crucial moment of the test, he had MISSED! I couldn't believe it! Do I sound like an upset and frustrated mama?

When he came back in the door, I'm afraid I let him have it--how on earth could he have missed all those words when he knew them so well? why didn't he proof read his work? blah blah blah. Unlike his mama, Peter was sweet and calm and quietly began copying over the words he had missed.

That's when it hit me. How much like Peter was I when it came to the failing the tests that came my way in life? I practice and practice by reading God's Word. I know what He wants me to do and how He wants me to behave. I know He desires that I love and forgive just has He has so abundantly poured out His love and forgiveness on me. I know He wants me to daily renew my mind in His Word so that when the tests of life come, I will respond out of faith and what I know rather than what I feel. I know...I definitely know...but then, I do not do.

When the test arrives and I'm tired and stressed, instead of responding in love and grace, I respond in anger and frustration. Instead of responding in faith, I respond in fear. Instead of displaying gratitude, I display discouragement. Instead of responding with praise to and preoccupation with Him, I respond with self-pity and selfishness. How often I've flunked the test even though I knew all the right answers. Paul put it this way: "So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members." Rom.7:21-23

But here's the thing: my Savior does not respond to me as I did to me son. He never grows discouraged or disgusted. He never sighs and shakes His head or wonder where He went wrong. He never gives up or throws up in His hands in exasperation. O how grateful I am for the Lord Jesus! Again, Paul continued in Romans 7:24-25: "Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin."

I can't do it. I will flunk those tests again and again--apart from the empowering Spirit. But my Savior enables me to do what I know, to pass the tests as I depend upon Him, moment by moment. Daily as I renew my mind in His Word, He will give me the power, when the tests come, to remember and then to act in obedience to what I know.

Thank You Lord for truly doing it all--for saving us and then sanctifying us. Help us to pass the tests that come our way each day as we apply what we know and respond in faith not fear and in obedience to Your Word rather than acquiesce to our feelings. And when we fail, thank You for Your amazing grace. Thank You for being the perfect parent...and for forgiving me when I am such an imperfect parent to the precious ones You have loaned to me. But for this we have Jesus. To God be the glory.

Crowded Kindnesses

At the age of 110, in his final speech to the young nation of Israel, Joshua reminds the Israelites that God "gave you a land on which you had not labored and cities that you had not built, and you dwell in them. You eat the fruit of vineyards and olive orchards that you did not plant." (Joshua 24:13) In other words, it was all by the grace and goodness of God! He gave them the land; He gave them the victories over their enemies; And He gave them the gift of being His chosen people. They did nothing to earn it or deserve it. It was all just an example of the Lord's extravagant, amazing grace and goodness.

How quickly they would forget. How quickly we forget. I am so convicted how problems and pain can allow resentment or a sense of entitlement rush in and rob us of our joy and peace and security in Christ. Rather than complaining when we face health challenges or financial difficulties or relational struggles, we need to press in to the Lord who is the source of everything, absolutely everything we possess and enjoy in our lives. I worry and fret over one of my children...and forget that God in His grace, gave me that precious, eternal little soul. We have one expense after another involving broken, older cars...and forget to thank the Lord for giving us cars and a city where there are roads that we can drive upon and eyes and hands and feet so we have the ability to drive those cars. We have food to eat, friends and family to love, books to read, schools and work to attend, churches in which to worship freely, nature to enjoy...We are so blessed by our extraordinary, extravagant God! Might we look for those superabundant blessings rather than focus upon the few things which we feel we lack.

Alexander Maclaren put it this way: "Seek to cultivate a buoyant, joyous sense of the crowded kindnesses of God in your daily life." Today, help us Jesus to cultivate that sense of Your crowded kindnesses. Help us not to blithely pass them by and thereby miss the wonder of your graciousness and generosity and the overwhelming gratitude it will engender in our hearts. To You be the glory.

A song of sorrow to a psalm of praise

A few nights ago I was really struggling with discouragement over something one of my children was going through that seemed mighty unfair. Now, with the perspective that time so often brings, it seems totally foolish, but at the time, my thoughts were filled with discouragement and frustration. And you know how good we women are at taking a thought and turning and twisting it over and over in our anxious minds so that we are robbed of perspective and joy and wisdom. I went from discouragement over that to dredging up in my mind all the other things I thought I should be worrying about, all the things I was doing wrong, and then plummeting to self-pity and sorrow over missing my dear parents (who have gone home to be with the Lord)....and on and on. Suffice it to say, I went to bed with a very heavy heart.

Mother Teresa once said all our troubles come from looking around rather than up. How true. And there is no better or surer recipe for discouragement and defeat than focusing upon yourself and your circumstances. It's also true that being wrapped up in yourself makes for a very small package!

Early the next morning, I prayed, but still with a heavy and anxious heart. After everyone had left for school, I trudged up the stairs to get the dirty clothes and clean up everyone's messy rooms (a source of great frustration for me the night before). I turned on the radio as I gathered up the clothes and just at that moment, "Revelation Song" began. I don't think words can begin to express what happened, but it was if the Lord pulled back the veil of heaven for just a few moments and I saw the tiniest glimpse of my Savior--and it was utterly overwhelming. "Worthy is the Lamb who was slain. Holy, holy is He. Sing a new song, to Him who sits on heaven's mercy seat." The chorus went on, "Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord God Almighty, who was, and is, and is to come. With all creation I sing, Praise to the King of Kings! You are my everything, and I will adore You!"

By now I was down on my knees, weeping tears of joy and wonder, as I caught just a whiff of the glories of heaven and of our Heavenly Savior. "Clothed in rainbows, of living color. Flashes of lightning, rolls of thunder. Blessing and honor, strength and glory and power be, to You the Only Wise King...Filled with wonder, awestruck wonder at the mention of Your Name. Jesus, Your Name is power, Breath, and Living Water, such a marvelous mystery. Holy, holy holy, is the Lord God Almighty, who was, and is and is to come. With all creation I sing, Praise to the King of Kings! You are my everything and I will adore You!"

I was overcome with who my Savior is and what He had done. Overcome with the promise of eternity. Overcome with the shame of terrible attitude the night before--I was focused and upset over a little speck of nothingness on a millisecond of time when compared to the infinite worthiness of the Lamb who was slain who we'd be rejoicing over and with for all of eternity in His perfect, glorious Kingdom!

Well, I picked up those dirty clothes and cleaned those rooms with overflowing joy! I came downstairs a totally different woman than the one who had trudged up there a few minutes earlier--worship will do that to you. Have you spent time this week, this day glimpsing the Savior? He is right there waiting to reveal Himself to you in His Word and in your worship, for He loves to come in and transform those hard, dark places in each of our lives--indeed, that is where His glory and greatness and grace shine the brightest. So many of us are struggling with such challenging and even desperate circumstances--seriously ill loved ones, marriages falling apart, prodigal children, teetering finances--but can we put it all in the light of the Savior and eternity? When we choose to praise Him--even in the midst of pain or rejection or betrayal or despair--we will behold Him and know Him and love Him in a whole new and deeper way.

What will you, what will I, think of this challenge or problem or misunderstanding 1000 years from now? Sometimes we need to stop in the midst of whatever we are going through and put on our 1000 year glasses. When we look through those lenses of time, much of what we are enduring right now recedes into the proper perspective. And we will find ourselves replacing a song of sorrow with a psalm of praise to the King of Kings, the Lord God Almighty, the Only Wise King, the Living Water, the Lamb who was slain--for you and for me. O might we breathe your glorious Name with wonder and awe, Lord Jesus, for it is Power!

He truly does make all things new.

O, and by the way, at the end of my room cleaning worship service, the Lord gently whispered into my ear: "And Emily, those parents you were missing and wanting to talk to so badly?...you'll see them again." Thank You Jesus. To You be all the glory!