Summer's Peril and Promise

     Tomorrow is the first day of June.  Ahh, can't you feel your shoulders relax the tiniest bit and your breathing slow imperceptibly?  O how I love summer.  I love the heat.  I love the verdant mountains and the undulating waves of the sea.  I love my hometown Raleigh when lots of folks leave, and the city empties and breathes deeper.  I love the calmer pace, the shorter lines, the diminished traffic, and the longer moments to read and watch movies and chat.  I love sitting on the porch in the mountains, hearing the silence, and watching the butterflies and humming birds and swallows dip and soar.  And I love the summer memories that fall gently on my heart--memories of vacations with my family, memories of my children as toddlers at the baby pool, memories of our summer wedding, memories of hard fought tennis games with my parents and siblings, memories of the smell of fresh cut grass or melting purple popsicles or sweetly scented gardenias or Yum Yum's banana ice cream.

What a gift the seasons are!  How thankful I am that we know and serve a God who not only loves beauty but also creates and enjoys infinite variety and change.  Just when we think we can stand winter's icy blast no longer, spring arrives, dancing in skirts of embroidered flowers and warmth.  And then the pure heat and relaxation and strength of summer barges in with joy and confidence.  Right about the time the unrelentingly scorching days have us wilting, the first draught of cool autumn days with refreshing breezes and blowing leaves, revives us.  I love fall... until that first, peaceful, pure white snowfall reminds me of the Savior's purity and the beauty of God's creation in winter.  And so it goes: another year of our Creator's extravagance and glory.  

But for now, Father, thank You for summer!  And for the promise (and hope!) of reading more books with the children, sharing more meals, slowing down and really sharing with the people we love, and truly seeing and experiencing and expressing gratitude for God's myriad gifts in our lives--from creation to people to common everyday graces.  

And for the prospect of spending more time with Him.  Time unharnessed from rushing and deadlines and to do lists.  Time to worship and know and love Him.  Time to listen.  Time to thank.  Time to ponder.  Time to wonder.   

Summer's danger for all of us, however, is that with this season's beauty and pace, we can fall away from Him rather than fall closer into Him.  "Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it.  Prone to leave the Lord I love," we might sing with summer's temptations to laziness and lassitude.  Bible studies are over till the fall; Sunday school is on hiatus.  The beaches and mountains beckon, and we can lapse into indifference towards the Word which leads to an increasingly weak and shallow soul.

May it not be so this summer!  Make it your goal these next 3 months to grow closer to the Creator and more in love with His Word.  Whatever it takes: wake up a few minutes earlier.  Open the Word at dinner to share some verses.  Listen on your iPod to His wisdom.  Read a new devotional with your children.  Pause, cease at some point everyday to be still and know that He is God, that He is right there with you, and worship Him in those little everyday moments.  

And just in case you need a little inspiration,  here is some encouragement from John Piper on the power and potential of summer (some good stuff!):

"Every season is God's season, but summer has a special power.

Jesus Christ is refreshing, but flight from him into Christless leisure makes the soul parched. At first it may feel like freedom and fun to skimp on prayer and neglect the Word, but then we pay: shallowness, powerlessness, vulnerability to sin, preoccupation with trifles, superficial relationships, and a frightening loss of interest in worship and the things of the Spirit.

Don’t let summer make your soul shrivel. God made summer as a foretaste of heaven, not a substitute. If the mailman brings you a love letter from your fiancé, don’t fall in love with the mailman. That’s what summer is: God’s messenger with a sun-soaked, tree-green, flower-blooming, lake-glistening letter of love to show us what he is planning for us in the age to come — “things which eye has not seen and ear has not heard, and which have not entered the heart of man, all that God has prepared for those who love him” (1 Corinthians 2:9). Don’t fall in love with the video preview and find yourself unable to love the coming reality.

Jesus Christ is the refreshing center of summer. He is preeminent in all things (Colossians 1:18), including vacations, picnics, softball, long walks, and cookouts. He invites us in the summer: “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). This is serious summer refreshment.

Do we want it? That is the question.

Christ gives himself to us in proportion to how much we want his refreshment. “You will seek me and find me; when you seek me with all your heart” (Jeremiah 29:13, RSV). One of the reasons to give the Lord special attention in the summer is to say to him, 'We want all your refreshment. We really want it.'"

Yes, Lord, we want it and, and we pray by Your infinite power that You would make it be so in all our lives this glorious summer!   To the God of all refreshment and beauty and seasons and summer, be all the glory. 

His Spirit, His strength!

     Why are we so prone to do things in our strength?  Well, maybe I should say, why am I--me, myself, and selfish, prideful I--so prone to attempting to do things in my own puny strength?  Well, I think I've already answered that question: pride, self-absorption, and unconsciously assuming that I know best and can do best (even though I absolutely know I can't).  Sometimes it can even be a simple result of haste and hurry.  In this busy multitasking, twitter, microwave age, we just want to get it done... and get it done now, as quickly and efficiently as possible.  But hurry never fosters dependence upon the  Word.  Haste never encourages prayer and seeking the Lord's will and way.  Love--of the Lord and of His people--never flourishes in mad hustling and struggling to do it all by ourselves.
     And what's inevitably the result of our rushing and rigidly doing things in our strength rather than in the power of Almighty God?  Every single time, I can sadly testify, we'll experience burnout.  Discouragement.  Exhaustion.  Worry.  Fretfulness.  All such wonderful and productive emotions, n'est pas?!
     Seriously, how much has your sleeplessness and anxiety produced at 3:00 in the morning?  How many people have been blessed or encouraged by your exhaustion or burnout?  What wonderful solutions to impossible problems have you come up with while overwhelmed with worry or rushing around like a maniac?  How have we increasingly demonstrated Christlikeness when we are frantic or rigidly self-reliant?  I think I know the answer to those questions.
     We cannot do it in our own strength. Ask Paul.  "For I do not understand my own actions.  For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate." (Rom.7:5)  Amen!  This is one we've all got down pat, isn't it?   We want to do better, we plan to do better, we intend to do better... but we do what we hate.  Again and again.  Sigh.
     But here's the good news: "But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is make perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me... For when I am weak, then I am strong." (2 Cor. 12:9-10)
     We can't do it--never could, never can, never ever will--but He is mighty in our weakness and He is always always always able.   And He's able to do abundantly beyond, far far beyond, all that we could even begin to dream up in our wildest dreams (good old Ephesians 3:20-21, two of my favorite verses in the Scriptures!)  It's another one of those strange but glorious dichotomies in God's Kingdom: the way up is the way down; the path of exaltation is the path of servanthood; the last will be the first; and our weaknesses can actually display the glory of His strength like a diamond sparkling against black velvet.
     As John the Baptist declared, "He must increase, but I must decrease." (John 3:30)  More and more of Him, less and less of me. More and more of His strength and less and less of my self-sufficiency.  More of His Holy Spirit, less of my fleshly efforts. And the result will be more and more joy and peace and power and glory in Him and less and less worry and exhaustion and discouragement.
     I  love the way William Temple illustrated this concept using Shakespeare:

        "It is no good giving me a play like "Hamlet" or "King Lear," and telling me to write a play like that.  Shakespeare could it it; I can't.
        And it is no good showing me a life like the life of Jesus and telling me to live a life like that.  Jesus could do it; I can't.
        But if the genius of Shakespeare could come and live in me, then I could write plays like his.
       And if the Spirit of Jesus could come and live in me, then I could live a life like His."

     O praise God, we cannot even begin to do it on our own... but if He lives in you, then declare with joy and certainty: "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." (Phil. 4:13)  His life lived out in you.  His power to overcome sin in you.  His peace and His patience in you.  His joy and His love and His kindness in you.  Christ in you, the hope of glory. (Col.1:27)
     So live in Him and by Him and through Him.  Allow your weakness to be the means by which His strength is displayed in your life today.  Give His Spirit full reign in your life this day and begin to live increasingly a life like His.  To our Savior, who not only showed us the way, and made the way, but who is The Way, The Truth, and The Life, be the glory forever.
   

 
   
 

Blood on the Cabinets

     "What can take away my sin?
      Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
     What can make me whole again?
     Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

     O!  Precious is the flow
     That makes me white as snow.
     No other fount I know
     Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

     The words to this wonderful old hymn rang in my ears today as I cleaned my kitchen cabinets. This will sound a bit gross, but our sweet old lab Moses sometimes wags his tail so hard that he hits it on some object that causes it to bleed.  We never know he has done it until we see all these myriad drops of blood all over our white kitchen cabinets.  Every time he wags his tail, the blood apparently sprays over the cabinets.  (Sorry, I told you it was a bit gross--but he is so awfully sweet and never means to make a mess!).  Sometimes we have larger swipes of blood where his tail has brushed against a cabinet.  Anybody want to come by our house for dinner tonight?!
     But as I cleaned off the blood today it hit me--all those drops and swipes of blood are the result of Moses expressing his love.  He loves--and that tail starts wagging.  Say his name: wag wag wag.  Look at him: wag wag wag.  Start cooking food of any kind: wag wag wag.  Mention one of his favorite words, like "snack" or "walk" or "go for a ride?" or "breakfast": wag wag wag.  And when anyone walks in the door, even if they've only gone outside for two minutes: wag wag wag.
     Love equals wagging tail.  Wagging tail equals blood.  Blood represents love.  And love is always costly.  Just like that of our Savior.  The costliest, most precious of blood that washes away our sin.
     Thank You Jesus for the blood that flowed and the grace it bestowed.  Thank You for Your costly love which You shed for us: Your blood equals love.  Your love required blood.  And Your blood cleanses us from all our sin.
     Might we never cease praising our Savior who came to shed His blood for those He loved all the way to the cross.  Thank You for that costliest of blood, Lord Jesus, that takes away our sin and makes us whole again.  To God be the glory.

Praise and Blue Plumbago

   
     The Blue Plumbago sitting on our back porch reminds me of my dear Aunt Janie--and that is cause for gratitude to God.  She loved Blue Plumbagos, so every spring I'm always on the hunt for these delicate purple/blue beauties for my sisters (and me!).  Thank You Lord for the glory of Your creation and for Your grace in giving each of us "Janie's" who encourage and enrich and bless our lives in so many ways.
     Thank You Lord for Moses sitting serenely and loyally at my feet.
     Thank You for the gift of seeing 4 of our 5 children sitting together, sprawled out on sofa and chairs and watching a movie on Memorial Day weekend.  These years are fleeting, and I am thankful for each moment of having them here... even with the laundry and mess and endless appointments and stresses.  They are our most precious blessings--even when I momentarily forget.  Help me to remember, Lord.
     Thank You for dinner with dearly loved ones--at our favorite restaurant in Chapel Hill.  Thank You for the gift of laughter and fellowship and family bonds that run deep and strong.   And thank You for Mount Airy Chocolate Soufflé Cake!  O my--blessing!
     Thank You that You are our treasure.  Our greatest, infinite, unshakeable, eternal, glorious treasure far far above all other treasures and blessings.  In A.W. Tozer words: "The man who has God as his treasure has all things in one, and he has it purely, legitimately, and forever."  Forgive me, Father, for how quickly I tend to place value in infinitely lesser and inferior "treasures."  Those lesser treasures always disappoint and inevitably diminish our souls.  But God as our treasure--that is true joy and soul satisfaction and peace that passes all understanding.
     Thank You that our praise and thanksgiving need never--indeed, should never--depend upon our feelings and circumstances.  Confession: I began this post in obedience, for I didn't feel thankful in the least.  It has been a really tough day for one of our children who was struggling with disappointment in his athletics hopes and dreams.  And as his mama, I felt sad for him, and sorrow for your children can surely snatch away your perspective and steal your joy like almost nothing else.   We all love our children so much, don't we, that when they hurt, we grieve deeply, and sometimes approach God with impatience and even a bit of reproachfulness. Why, God?  Are you listening, God?  Do you care, God?
     But praise and thankfulness reminds us of who He is and what He has done and what He can and will do.  Praise reminds us that He is always good and gracious.  And praise helps us to remember that even when we cannot always understand what His hand is doing, we can always always always trust His heart and His power to bring about our ultimate good and His greater glory.
      "Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."(I Thess.5:18)  You call us to give thanks--it's a command, not an option for when we "feel" like it.  Dr. John Mitchell declared, "To give thanks when you don't feel like it is not hypocrisy; it's obedience."  Might we obey, whether we feel like it or not, for You are infinitely, eternally worthy of all our praise.  And Your blessings to us extravagantly flow into our flawed, undeserving lives.  Blessings of family, of health, of food, of strength, of creation, of simple graces of everyday life...  and of Blue Plumbagos reminding us of past blessings and future hope.  For with You, there is always always always hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)  Lord, I don't know the future.  But I know the One who shapes and controls the future.  And He is always the eternally present "I Am"--here and now, past,  and future, and forever faithful.
     Thank You Lord.  Jesus, might Your Name be praised and lifted high.  To God be the glory forever.

Seeking Fame or the Father?

     John 3:30  He must increase, but I must decrease.
     These are John the Baptist's words as his followers and disciples started to leave him and began instead to follow Jesus.  Several of John's friends had noticed this seemingly distressing trend and, in so many words, essentially confronted him: "Have you noticed they're leaving you for Jesus?  Don't you care?  This Jesus is taking over your powerful, famous work and pretty soon you'll be a has been.  What are you going to do about it?"
     John responds that "A person cannot receive even one thing unless it is given him from heaven.  You yourselves bear me witness that I said, 'I am not the Christ, but I have been sent before Him.  The one who has the bride is the bridegroom.  The friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly at the bridegroom's voice.  Therefore this joy of mine is now complete.  He must increase, but I must decrease." (John 3:27-30)
     Man, this is so counter-cultural!  This is so counter-pride, counter-competitiveness, counter-self-absorption!  This is so contrary to my selfishness and pride!   Everywhere we turn, we are encouraged to be number 1, to have our needs met, to bulk up our self-esteem, to achieve and accomplish and conquer.  And clearly, we are a culture that worships fame and fortune--especially fame. Even if you become infamous, any fame--no matter how ill-conceived or foolishly earned--seems to be better than the alternative of anonymity. We have an entire industry built on following people who are famous merely for being famous.  Seriously, why on earth is anyone in the least bit interested in the Kardashians?   Or that tanning mom or the Octomom.  Good grief.
     Lest I appear in the least bit virtuous here, believe me, I'm not.  I have to fight it tooth and nail, and those sickening sins of pride and selfishness far too frequently rear their hideous head in my life.  O how I hate it in myself!  We all are so prone to wanting to be made much of---or having our children and loved ones made much of--rather than seeking to decrease and Christ to increase.  What a lifelong battle it is for each of us, and what a beautiful example John the Baptist provides for constantly seeking to magnify Christ and minimize self.  
     But, incredibly, in such a reversal--where we make much of our Savior and make less of ourselves--we find completeness of joy (John 3:29).  It's so true, when we are all wrapped up in ourselves, we make a mighty small package.  Such small selfish packages make for small people, small joy, small contentment, small usefulness to the Kingdom.  I don't care how much the world lauds fame and fortune and all that mess--they never satisfy and always ultimately steal peace and joy.
     The other day a friend sent me an article about the most recent "American Idol" winner.  (Now if you think about it, there's a name for you, isn't it? Yes, we certainly do make fame an "idol.")   I confess, I have almost never watched the show, but apparently this year's winner seemed at a loss for words or much of a reaction when he won. He looked stunned and in shock.  They handed him his guitar to sing and play his song in celebration while all the fireworks rocketed and the confetti fell around him.  He only sang a few lines before breaking down in tears and rushing to embrace his family.  He simply couldn't begin to fathom or process what had just happened to him, and to his credit, he was not embracing idolatry and fame and sudden, wild success as the greatest thing in the universe.
     As one writer succinctly expressed it: "The  human soul was not made for fame."
     So true, for fame is far too small and mean a thing to deserve to steal the soul's delight and worship. Likewise for selfishness or greed or pride or materialism.  While appearing to promise much, they deliver little but a barren soul and an empty heart.
     John the Baptist would surely agree, for he knew our souls were designed to magnify and make much of our Lord and to make less of ourselves.  And in that increasing of Him and decreasing of me, we find joy and satisfaction and peace and contentment--the abundant, eternal life.  
     "Our souls were not made for fame.  Our souls were made for the Famous One.  O God, save us from ourselves."  
     Our souls were made for the truly Great and Glorious One, and only in Him will we find our true heart's home.  Not in fame.  Not in fortune. Not in success.  Not in self.  Not in promotion.  Not in achievement.  Not in accolades.  But in Him and Him alone.  O Lord, save us from ourselves and our selfishness and pride and instead help us to seek You and Your glory and Your greatness.   To the God of all that is good and great be all the glory forever.

Memorial Day

     Happy Memorial Day!  What a debt we owe to those who have gone before us to secure our freedom.  Lord, forgive us for how often we take for granted those hard-won freedoms.   John Adams once declared, "Posterity: you will never know how much it has cost my generation to preserve your freedom.  I hope you will make good use of it."  O Lord, keep us grateful and make us worthy!
     I often think back to my daddy who served as the gunnery officer on a destroyer for four years during World War II.  He saw action at about every major naval battle and saw death and destruction on a level we cannot begin to imagine.  Daddy earned a bronze star for his bravery, yet, when he died, we found that illustrious medal hidden in the top of his sock drawer.  My brother explained at his funeral that Daddy had it there so that everyday when he opened his drawer to get his socks, he was reminded of all the brave servicemen and dear friends who lost their lives in the war.  These innumerable souls who gave their best, their all, for their nation and for our freedom never had the opportunity to live out their lives and fulfill their hopes and dreams.  So everyday Daddy surely felt that he needed to live that day to the best of his ability, to make a difference in this world, and to thereby honor the sacred memory of those who gave their lives so that we might live.
     Right at this very moment our nation has brave men and women all over the world serving and fighting to safeguard our freedom.  They face hardships, sacrifices, discomfort, dangers, and death.  And here we sit in air conditioned comfort, contemplating what the traffic might be like at the beach or the weather might be like in the mountains or what we might cook on the grill for a Memorial Day cookout or how we will enjoy our day off on monday.  Yet the smallest inconveniences irritate us and the simplest everyday (but o so wonderful) blessings showered upon us pass by utterly unnoticed.  Shame on us.  Shame on our ingratitude and indifference and inaction.
     As John Adams exhorted us so many years ago, might we consider afresh the exorbitant price paid by earlier generations and by those in harm's way today... and might we be filled with gratitude.  How I pray that we will prove worthy of those sacrifices by our efforts to make this nation greater and stronger and freer and nobler for the generations following us.  Help us to be thankful and faithful, Father.
     To our great God be the glory forever.  
   

Unutterable Muddiness of Mud

      I love these words written by John Piper about why he loves G.K.Chesteron (and I agree wholeheartedly!):

• "We both marvel that we are swimming in the same boundless sea of wonders called the universe.

• We both are amazed not by sharp noses or flat noses, but that humans have noses at all.

• We both think it is just as likely that the reason the sun rises every morning is not because of some so-called “law,” but because God says, “Do it again.” And that he says it more like a delighted child than a dour chief.

• We both believe logic and imagination are totally compatible and that neither will be useful without the other.

• We both believe that the magic of the universe must have meaning, and meaning must have someone to mean it.

• We both believe that the glories of this world are like goods rescued from some primordial ruin — a ruin whose evidences are everywhere. 

• And we both believe that paradox is woven into the nature of the universe, and that resisting it drives a person mad. “Poets don’t go mad; but chess-players do. Mathematicians go mad, and cashiers; but creative artists very seldom. . . . The poet only asks to get his head into the heavens. It is the logician who seeks to get the heavens into his head. And it is his head that splits.”

These and a hundred other happy, world-opening agreements keep me coming back, because nobody says them better than Chesterton. Like C. S. Lewis, he sees more wonder in an ordinary day than most of us see in a hundred miracles. I will keep coming back to anyone who helps me see and be astonished at what is in front of my face — anyone who can help heal me from the disease of 'seeing they do not see.'"


     Can I just add a hearty "Amen?!"  Might we never get over the astounding wonder of this world created by a majestic, omnipotent God who loves to delight His children and who rejoices in color and variety and beauty even more than we do (in our best moments).  
     I'll never forget a quote I heard when I was in high school.  Way back then--in the dark ages--I had never heard of G.K. Chesterton, but our wonderful minister, Dr. Bauman, loved to quote him.  The quote Dr.Bauman referred to by Chesteron reminded me of Piper's observations.  Chesterton wrote:  "I do not think there is anyone who takes quite such a fierce pleasure in things being themselves as I do.  The startling wetness of water excites and intoxicates me; the fieriness of fire, the steeliness of steel, the unutterable muddiness of mud."  
     Isn't it funny the things we remember?  Those words, especially "the unutterable muddiness of mud," have stuck with me all these long years.  I can't remember names of good friends or passwords or how to do the most basic function on my computer that my child has just explained to me... but I can still recall the way Chesterton's words resonated with me.   
     Perhaps that is one of the greatest delights of having children: rediscovering the wonder and "fierce pleasure in things being themselves."  A bubble, a bowl, a balloon, a bird, a bottle--each a cause for ceaseless celebration and careful observation.  And how sad when we lose that joy, that wonder in the ordinary: the remarkable, the ordinary--but actually miraculous for those with eyes to see--things and people placed in our paths.  They are infused with supernatural glory if we could but train our hearts to see behind each of them the God of all glory.  He is the God behind it all: the God of crimson sunsets, the God of leaping deer, the God of laughing friends, the God of singing streams, the God of waving tree branches, the God of baby smiles and coos, the God of symphony and song,  the God of sweet wrinkled faces of the aged, the God of water, fire, steel and  muddy mud.  
     And He is the God of a rough wooden cross and an empty stone tomb.
     What a God.  What a Creator.  What a Savior.  
     Rejoice in His creation.  Rejoice in His gifts.  Rejoice in Him.  In Him you will never lack for reasons to be amazed and to celebrate.  To God be the glory.  


     

The Logos

     "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God... And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen His glory, glory as of the only Son the Father, full of grace and truth."  (John 1:1,14)
     How many times have I written about these verses in the past few weeks?  And yet, I am drawn back to them again and again, like a moth to a flame.  Surely we cannot begin to exhaust their depth and mystery and richness and life-transforming beauty!  In our crazy busy, ever-changing world, He is the Alpha and Omega.  He truly is the beginning and the end.  And all the in-between.  All the little pieces of our often fractured lives come together in perfect wholeness in Him.
     The Greek word John used here for "Word" is "Logos."  But while many of us know that, what I didn't realize is that "Logos" in the Greek means "the reason for life."  What is the reason or purpose of life?  Why do you get up in the morning?  We all must have a purpose, an ultimate point to our lives or life truly does become one rushing madness toward an abyss of meaninglessness and hopelessness.  Tragically, how much of the world lives that very way--busy, constantly connected by phone or twitter or whatever the latest technology happens to be, ever seeking... but ultimately empty and striving after the wind.  I always think back to Sister Carrie, by Theodore Dreiser--at the end of the book, there she is: empty and endlessly rocking in her rocking chair by the window,  never content, never still, never satisfied.
     The Greek philosophical schools debated this very issue with great enthusiasm--what is the Logos--i.e. the purpose, the reason for life?  By Jesus' day, the prevailing wisdom at these Greek schools was that there was no Logos.  There simply was no ultimate purpose or reason for life.  Does that sound familiar?  Sort of like our day, wouldn't you say?
     And then the apostle John comes along and like a clarion call writes the astounding words: "In the beginning was the Logos"--in the beginning was the Reason for Life.. and the Reason for Life was with God and the Reason for Life was God... And the Reason for Life became flesh and dwelt among us.   The Reason for Life was not a concept or an idea or a philosophical construct.  The Logos, the reason for life was, and is, a Person!
     And that Person is God.  And He is the Beginning and the End.  And even though He is sovereign, omnipotent God, He became a man and dwelt among us and lived in our neighborhoods.  He ate food like we eat, suffered sickness like we suffer, endured temptation like we endure (only He never gave in and never sinned).  He laughed like we laugh and cried like we cry.  He enjoyed friendships and sunsets and family dinners and stories and shady trees in the hot sun, all like we enjoy.  He crawled and skipped and walked and ran and grew weary and slept just like we do.  
     And He, fully man, fully human, exactly like us, was and is God--the Logos, the Reason for Life.
     And we can know Him--the Reason for Life, the infinite eternal God--personally, fully, joyfully.
     And when we ask Him to be our Lord and Savior, He--the Logos, the Reason for all of Life--will come to live within us--redeeming us, sanctifying us, renewing us, strengthening us, transforming us.  Might we never get over the wonder, the astounding glorious truth, that the Logos, the Reason for our Life and all of Life, is the Lord Jesus.  He is Emmanuel, God with us, God in us, God for us, God before us, God behind us, God beside us, God--the Alpha and Omega.  Jesus--our beginning, our end, our in-between, our all in all.
     Today, might we rest in the security and the joy that Jesus, the Logos, is the Reason for Life, our Reason for Life.  Wherever we might go, He has already been.  Whatever we might face, He has already faced.  Whatever challenges we might encounter, He has already encountered and conquered them.. and He has all the answers.  Whatever temptations or sorrows or disappointments we might endure, He has already endured... and defeated and triumphed over resoundingly.  And in His mighty Name, in our Logos, we find our salvation, our hope, our joy, our peace, our power, our passion, our purpose.
     "And the Reason for Life became flesh and dwelt among us"--and His Name is Jesus.  Might we live in Him, our Logos, and bring Him glory in all we think and say and do and are.  To the Word, the Logos, the Reason for Life, be all the glory forever.

God or the gaps?

     "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of darkness, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way--in short the period was so far like the present period that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only."
     So begins one of my favorite books, A Tale of Two Cities,  by one of my favorite authors, Charles Dickens.
     And how often do his brilliant words describe our world and our lives... and our days.  Or, for example, my day today.  We are all blessed beyond measure but yet we all face disappointments and struggles and sorrows.  Each and every day we can often say, "it is the best of times, it is the worst of times."  But the question is, where is our focus?  Are we focused upon our blessings and the God of all our blessings or are we fixated upon our limitations and failings and faults?
     How often I seem to brush past God's blessings and instead am preoccupied by life's bruisings.  All that I have can be lost in the little that I lack.  O forgive me Father!
     Today I grew so discouraged by all that I have to do and how far behind I am in about every area of my life: from laundry folding to Bible study to clutter patrol to training of children to various projects for school to... well, trust me, the list goes on and on. Sigh.  And when life gets overwhelming, it's so easy to grow worried and discouraged.   Surely the two most unproductive and unhelpful emotions we ever experience (and just as surely two that especially seem to assail us mothers--we worry about our children and grow discouraged about ourselves as moms).  Worry and discouragement--boy, they can ruin a perfectly beautiful day, can't they?  And suddenly that which was the "best of times" becomes, in an instant, the "worst of times."
     My husband shared with me something he had heard from Tim Keller--Worry is thinking that we know what we need and that God will somehow not come thru.  Amen!  Aren't we all prone to thinking that somehow, deep down, we really do have the best plan, and surely, if God really loves us, He will go along with and bless our plan.   We worry, however, that He will not bless our seemingly perfect plan or will not come thru in someway or that His plan is actually painful and disappointing and second (or third or fourth) best.  Perhaps we even wonder if God might be holding out on us.  But if we, if I, really love God and trust Him and recognize that He is the ONLY ONE with ALL the power, ALL the wisdom, ALL the ability, ALL the love, ALL the grace, ALL the knowledge then, of course, His plans will be best, pleasing and perfect.  Can I not trust Him and His ways?  I remember hearing a fellow share a long time ago that God's will is what we would choose IF we knew what God knew--i.e. God's will is what we would choose if we had ALL the facts.
     Let's face it, we don't have all the facts.  We just think or assume we do--but, boy, we don't.  Never have.  Never will.  That day won't arrive until we see Jesus face to face, so until that time, we have the choice: worry and wring our hands and live each day anxious and fretful or trust and rest in the peace that He has it all under control and His plans and ways are best.  Best for us, best for those we love.  That's where the rubber meets the road--trusting when we cannot see, trusting when we do not know or understand, but placing our trust in Him who is totally trustworthy and perfectly faithful.  Our faith is "the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." (Hebrews 11:1)
     I said it the other day, but to weaken the grip of worry, worship the God of glory.  Focus on Him and not on fretting or failings.  Thank Him for His manifold goodness in our lives rather than focusing upon the gaps in our lives.  And that's how we break the grip of discouragement as well-- faith and focus.  Faith in Him and His ultimately good and perfect plans, and focus upon Him and His daily and constant goodness and grace and glory in our lives.
      So today, I choose to focus on Him and His goodness rather than worry over the gaps.  We all have a ridiculous abundance of blessings for which to be thankful!  God's mercy and goodness and grace in my life exceeds anything I could ever begin to deserve or imagine.  Thank You, Lord for:
     -Salvation--to paraphrase Tim Keller, I am so so so much more sinful than I could imagine (and, O, how my sin and selfishness breaks my heart)  BUT I am so infinitely much more loved than I ever dared to hope or dream.  No words can describe the wonder and glory of His infinite, eternal, beautiful grace.
     -Grace--what can I say, I have to praise Him for it again and again!  May it be my song for all the days of my life.  And might His grace be reflected--by the power of He who lives within me--in my daily actions and attitudes.  More grace, Lord, more grace!
     -Family--grace again!  My husband, my 5 five precious children, my siblings, my parents, my legacy of faith from generations long passed.  Yesterday, we went to see my oldest daughter graduate from a Fellows program, and I wept in gratitude at the wonderful godly young woman she has become.  Thank You, Lord, for the incredible challenge and privilege and joy of being a mother.
     -Creation--beauty, wonder, glory!  The stunning blue sky, the startling green grass, the morning song of the mocking bird, the brilliant red cardinal, the cool morning air, the sweet scent of the honeysuckle, the peaceful evening chorus of the crickets, the flash of the lightening bug.  And we get to see and hear and smell it all day after day after day!  Priceless. Incredible.
     --Friends.  Church.  Sports and watching my children play and compete.  Reading.  Hot baths.  Hot tea.  Chocolate.  Finishing a task.  Hugs.  Laughter.  Dogs happily hanging out the windows of passing cars.  Hot water (we lost ours last week--whew, hot water is a blessing!).  Clean sheets.  Chocolate cake... or chocolate ice cream... or chocolate cookies.... hmm, I'm sensing a theme here.  Learning something new.  Walking in the fresh air with good old Moses.  Hearing the voice of a loved one.  Looking at old pictures of loved ones who have gone on to heaven.  Home.
     --Seeing the Savior's reflection in each and every blessing and whispering a grateful "Thanks."  Today, might we choose to focus upon God, not the gaps, and thank Him for the myriad blessings we have rather than the little we lack.  And to the God who's forever faithful and trustworthy, whose plans are perfect, and whose blessings are bountiful beyond all imagining, be all the glory.

Birds and Faithfulness

   
     Please say hello to the newest addition to our crew!  Moses, our old black lab, now has some fierce competition!  These little beauties are resting in a tiny nest snuggled in one of our hanging ferns on the little porch outside our kitchen door.  I need to add that this is the door we go in and out of all day long, and their mama truly couldn't have picked a busier spot anywhere outside our house.  They, however, seem utterly unfazed by the frenetic activity swirling around them--even when I stood on a chair and stuck my camera up there to take their picture.  I must add that this has been a bit hard on the fern, as we cannot water it for fear of scaring or drowning our new neighbors--but ferns can be replaced.  The joy of watching God's amazing creation up close is irreplaceable.
     We have absolutely loved hearing and watching them everyday, and we'll all be crushed on that sad day when it's time for them to fly off on their own (gee, sort of like our children, isn't it?  So hard to love  them so much and then lose them to the big, glorious world.).  We can hear them throughout the day chirping every time their hard-working mama comes back from foraging for food.  Their tiny cacophony of chirps periodically provides a joyous chorus to our kitchen.  What a beautiful sound God created in the songs of birds!   Lord, I have to agree--"It was good!"  And to watch these delicate creatures soar through the air and land lightly and perfectly on the slimmest edge of a brick or the leaf of a fern--wow, Lord it was awfully awfully good!
     Not only has their happy singing and chirping brought us much joy, but, there's just nothing like watching the mama bird coming back and forth, over and over again, to feed those three hungry mouths--uhh, well, I guess it would be beaks.  Here's how it goes down multiple times a day:  all is quiet on the western front, and then suddenly, we hear all kinds of excited chirping.   We (that would be whoever is home at the time--except Moses, who seems quite unimpressed) all rush to the window and watch three little beaks/mouths sticking straight up in the air.  All you can see above the leaves of the fern is their beaks/mouths opening and stretched impossibly wide and welcoming--ready for whatever delicacies mama has found for them.  Yum, I'm betting those worms or bugs or whatever it is taste mighty good.  I guess it's a small price to pay for being able to fly over the tree tops--I think I'd eat my weight in worms if I could soar or sing like that.
     As usual, I digress--sorry.
     Here's the thing, don't you wonder what those little guys think when mama disappears?  Their only source of food and comfort and security suddenly vanishes. Surely they have no earthly idea where she's gone.  Do they worry that she is never coming back? Do they fret that they just ate their last meal, and now they are on their own?  Do they talk amongst themselves--"We're in trouble now.  How are we going to find food when we can't even figure out how to get out of our nest?  I told you to ask her how she does it, but, noooo, you just live in a little dream world and now, here we are, all alone, helpless and hungry.  Nobody cares about us.  Mama doesn't love us or she would never leave us like this.  We're doomed... oops, wait wait, here she comes!!!  I just knew she would be back!  Right here, mama, right here!  Down the hatch--I'm hungry!  Feed me first!  No, me first, me first!"
     Do they bother to say thank you before she tirelessly flies off again to find more food for her brood?  I doubt it, but that doesn't deter her one bit.  She just keeps going and coming and feeding all day long, day after day.
     The Lord has so convicted me by our little bird family.  For are we not those little baby birds--waiting and watching for our Lord to feed us, to teach us, to help us, to do all for us that we could never ever do on our own?  Yet, do we wait patiently and faithfully and trustingly like those baby birds?  When He doesn't answer our prayers just the way we want Him to, how quickly and sinfully we can begin to doubt His love and faithfulness.   When He is seemingly silent, do we think He doesn't care or doesn't see or will not answer or act?
     O how faithless I am, Father, to doubt what I cannot see or do not feel!  Forgive me for the times I doubt Your love when You don't answer my prayers right on my selfish little time schedule.  Forgive us for failing to believe and know that You are doing a thousand different things in any and every situation that we cannot see and do not know.  For You are always always always at work, moving and active in our lives--like that mother bird.  Just because we cannot see You or feel You does not mean You are not orchestrating events behind the scenes in ways we cannot begin to imagine or hope in our wildest dreams. You are forever faithful, and when our hearts grow discouraged and fretful, might we counsel our wills to trust the One who proved His eternal love and faithfulness on the cross.  Might we go to the Word and be fed... feasting like those little open beaks on Your forever faithfulness and love and grace as revealed in Your love letter to us, the Word.  
     Jesus told His disciples "Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, nor about your body, what you will put on.  For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing.  Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouses nor barn, and yet God feeds them.  Of how much more value are you than the birds!  And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?  If then you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest?" (Luke 12:22-26)
     Why, indeed, are we anxious?  And when has your anxiety and fretting helped you or your loved one in any way whatsoever?  Maybe it's time to obey Jesus' words to consider the birds and recall God's faithfulness.
     And He also told them (and us): "Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies?  And not one of them is forgotten before God.  Why even the hairs of your head are all numbered.  Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows." (Luke 12:6-7)
      Thank You for birds, Father.  Thank You for all You teach us through Your magnificent creation.  And if You never forget even one tiny insignificant sparrow--or a helpless little baby bird sitting in a nest outside our kitchen--how much more will You never ever ever forget or fail one of us.  You tell us not to fear, and You are faithful beyond all measure, loving beyond all reason, and gracious beyond all imagining.  I think three baby birds resting in a fern outside our window would sing of Your faithfulness, day after day after day.  And if they can sing, then surely mustn't I?  Mustn't you?  
     "Great is Thy faithfulness, O God our Father.  There is no shadow of turning with Thee.  Thou changes not, Thy compassions they fail not. As Thou hast been, Thou forever wilt be.  Great is Thy faithfulness!  Great is Thy faithfulness.  Morning by morning, new mercies I see.  All I have needed Thy hand hath provided.  Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me!"
     When mama bird disappears, she will always come back... and with blessings and surprises in her wake.  And when Your Heavenly Father seems distant and prayers seem unanswered or hope shattered, trust, know that He is there.  He is moving and active and busy on your behalf, and one day you will see and know and rejoice fully at His glorious faithfulness.  As William Gurnall wrote nearly 400 years ago, "Behind the travail of every affliction is a blessing waiting to be born."  Because behind even the travail resides our loving, omnipotent, sovereign Savior.
     This week, whenever you see a bird, remember: Great is His faithfulness.  Say it out loud!  Let each bird you glimpse be God's tiny gift to remind you of His eternal loving faithfulness.  He will not fail you, not ever;  so feed on Him, and trust even when you cannot see.  To God be all the glory forever and ever.

The Light

     "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." (John 1:1)
     What profound, unsearchable words about The Word.  The beginning--the beginning before there was a beginning, before time and space.  Before days and hours and moments.  Before sun and light and air--God was and is, eternally present, eternally powerful, eternally the great I Am.  You just can't even put your mind around it, can you?
     When our minds are in turmoil or our world seems crazy, He is there, from the very beginning, from before the beginning, and He is here right this very moment. Whatever you are dealing with, wherever you are, He is here, He is there--perfect, present, powerful.  Not diminished one iota, not one bit weaker or less miraculously active and omnipotent than He was when He created the vast heavens and the miraculous earth.  Not one jot or tittle different or debilitated in any way from when He became flesh and dwelt among us and revealed God's glory to a desperate world. (John 1:14)
     He was and is and forever will be the Light of the World.  "In Him was life, and the life was the light of men.  The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." (John 1:4-5)  Have you noticed that even the tiniest, weakest light can overcome darkness?  Seriously, I was talking with one of my children about this the other day.  Even a flickering, faltering little candle when lit in a dark room chases back the darkness.  Sure, it may not light up the whole room, but when even the teensiest light is lit, darkness flees!  Darkness is mighty dark--it amazes me sometimes when we lose electricity how dark it really is.  But light a candle, turn on a flashlight, and that light overcomes the darkness.  Light will always overcome darkness... every single time.
     And He is the Light of the world that shines in a dark world, in our dark worlds, and the darkness will never ever overcome Him.  He proved that at the cross... and the empty tomb.
     So why do we live as if He cannot overcome the dark places in our lives?
     When I worry and wring my hands over whatever is currently occupying the dark places in my life, I'm forgetting who He is and what He has done and what He is doing and what He will do.  But if I will just allow His light to penetrate the darkness of my fear, of my pride, of my selfishness, well, then, darkness flees.  Christ will always prevail, for He is Lord, but we have to keep Him on the throne in our hearts and our lives. That means worshipping Him.  That means renewing our minds in the Word, His Word.  That means making much of Him rather than much of me and my little worries.
      To weaken the grip of worry, worship the God of glory.
      The more we magnify God, the more we minimize fear.
      And the more we focus upon how great our God is, the more we will experience His peace and hope and joy in glorious abundance.   The more we let in His light, for He is the Light and His Word is light, the more that darkness of fear--fear of failure, fear of pain, fear of loss--flees from our lives.  Sure, we and our loved ones will still fail.  We will still experience loss and pain.  But the fear, that deadly paralyzing enemy of fear, will be destroyed as the Light overwhelms it and gives us peace and power and joy in the midst of it all.
     I love what Ann Voscamp wrote: "Why be afraid of anything--when our God is using everything?"  Our God is sovereign and omnipotent, and everything, everything, everything passes through His all-powerful hands.  His nail-scarred hands of perfect love and grace.  So if He allows it, He will use it for our good and His glory.  And His light will overcome the darkness.  Well then, "why be afraid--when our God is using everything?!"
     Lord, help us this day to renew our minds in Your Word, for Your Word is a lamp to our feet and a light to our paths.  (Ps.119:105) O how we need Your Light!  Light our paths, Lord.  Help us to trust You even when the way ahead seems dark.  Because You are there already and Your light will always always always overcome the darkness.  Might we this day weaken the grip of worry as we worship the God of glory.   And to the Light of the World, the God of glory, be all the glory.

Motherhood--grit and grace!

     Happy Mother's day to all those mamas out there!  I heard a little phrase the other day that I thought really captured what we mamas need: "grit and grace."  We need a boatload of grit on those long hard days when the routine chores seem to pile up, the patience quota seems to dip perilously low, and exhaustion and discouragement threaten to swamp our resolve and love.  On those days, we need to ask the Lord for grit to finish the day strong, somehow, someway.  We need to pause and ask the God of all grace for His grit and grace just for that day, that hour, to be the mothers He has called us--and will enable us--to be.
     So often our problem is not so much lacking the grit and grace for the long day we are dealing with today.  Rather, it's anticipating how on earth we will face and endure the long, hard day tomorrow or next week or in the months to come.  But God does not give us tomorrow's grace today.  He gives us today's manna for today's needs and calls us to trust that His mercies are new every morning and that He will not fail us tomorrow or next week or next year.  We worry that we may not have what it takes when our children are toddlers or teenagers or young adults.  But worry just saps us of the strength God has given us for today and does nothing to empower and enable us tomorrow.  As one old English proverb put it: "Worry is carrying tomorrow's burden with today's strength."  We can't do it.  Never could.  Never will.
     But He is always sufficient for today's burdens.  He is the eternal "I Am"--always able, always faithful, always infinite in His grace and grit for our every need today.  And then tomorrow, the eternal I Am will be just as infinitely gracious and powerful and perfect and present for our needs for that day.  The question is, will we trust Him?  Will we trust that He will meet tomorrow's needs and burdens?  Do we trust that He will cause the sun to rise tomorrow morning?  Do we trust that our eyes will open the next day to see what needs to be done and that our mouths will open to speak and our hands will move and work to be busy about our day?
     I love Eugene Peterson's translation of Hebrews 12:1-2: "Do you see what this means--all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on?  It means we'd better get on with it.  Strip down, start running--and never quit!  No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins.  Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished the race we're in."
     That's it!  Look unto Jesus!  Strip down all that bloat of busyness, all those sinful distractions that keep our eyes from following the Savior.  Determine that no matter what, you will spend time daily fixing your gaze upon the Savior who has already run the race and is cheering you on and enabling you to run your race in His strength.  But you have to start running and refuse to quit!
     I've only run one marathon in my life, and, brother, it was brutal. I started out great and thought how glorious all this was... until I "hit the wall" around mile 22 or so.  Just 4 miles to go, and after all the running I had been doing, that should have been nothing, but, good grief, I was just totally spent, desperately exhausted, and utterly discouraged.  I remember hoping I would sprain my ankle so I could quit!
     But I didn't quit.  No way, not after all those months of training and preparation.  I just kept putting one foot in front of the other and keep plugging along--very very slowly, but nonetheless, still moving forward towards the finish line.  And somehow, by the grace of God (and the grace of my sweet sisters jogging along beside me in their regular clothes and their purses banging on their sides as they ran!), I finished the race.  Alleluia!
      If ever there was a marathon of a race, it's motherhood!  Whew, I get tired just thinking about it!  But I learned in running those races when I was younger (much much younger!) you gotta keep your eyes focused ahead and keep running.  Don't waste time and effort looking around at your competitors.  Don't worry about the other lanes. Stop comparing and contrasting.  And whatever you do, don't quit!  Just keep running and looking towards the finish line. As Eugene Peterson put it, it's that "long obedience in the same direction."  Keep looking unto Jesus and trusting that He who put you in the race will give you the strength to to finish strong.
     And He will.  He always always always will!  So happy mother's day!  Keep fixing your focus on Jesus and keep running with grit and grace, trusting that He will carry you all the way to the finish line. To the God of all grit and grace, be all the glory.
   

The Last Grandparents Day

     We celebrated our final "Grandparents/Special Friends Day" in elementary school today.  How many have we enjoyed over the years, I wonder?  So many, so gloriously many.   I well remember taking my parents and my husband's parents to the very first one at Root Elementary when our oldest daughter was in first grade.  Their smiling picture rests on a table in our den today.  So many years ago--17 years, I believe.  And we've been going ever since, with each precious child the Lord has given us.  17 years of memories, 17 years of handmade love gifts from lopsided ceramic birds to popsicle frames to brightly colored paintings. 17 years of lunches and visiting and laughing after the big event, 17 years of joy.
     Those 17 years brought many changes--some wonderful, some sorrowful. Some years we had new little ones to add to the chaos and fun, new babies to hold and coo over and remark that "he looks just like his grandaddy!" or "her eyes are just like grandmamas!" Some years maybe it was a new home or a new job or a new pet or a new tooth to rejoice over and discuss.
     But there were years like that first one after my dear Mama died, and Daddy, already ill with cancer, came without her--that was hard, bittersweet, but yet precious. To see his sweetness and his love for his grandchildren, even in his grief over losing such a vibrant, irreplaceable chunk of his heart, well, I'll never forget it. By the next Grandparents Day, Daddy had gone home to be with the Lord, joyously united forever with Mama, but leaving us to struggle that day as the hole left by them both seemed impossibly vast, never to be filled.
     Yet, God always fills those empty places in our lives--maybe not in the same way, maybe always leaving a scar, but with His boundless grace that makes all things new and beautiful in their time.  And so we soldiered on, enjoying the blessings of my husband's dear parents and at least one of my wonderful sisters coming for each Grandparents/Special Friends Day.  Every year, with every child, some years having to cover several children on the same day in a fun frenzy.  The years seem to stretch on and on.
     Until today.  The last one.  Our youngest child "graduates" from lower school to middle school at the end of this month, and so suddenly all those years of Grandparents and my sisters and eating lunches and holding babies and dropping off at school and picking up and reminding of teacher's names and classmates' names and taking pictures of smiling faces at school... impossibly and suddenly finished.
     It's so trite, but so true: where on earth did all those years go?  Did we appreciate every single one of them enough?  Did we see how precious, how never-to-be-repeated each one was? Did we see each for the irreplaceable gift that it was?  Surely not, for none of us ever fully lives every single moment of our lives, never fully loves each priceless person in our lives, never fully experiences the gift of the "precious present" as we should.  We try, but we're human, and we just can't.
     We're too often focused on the next thing, the next day, the next problem,  the next item on the to-do list, the next goal, to realize that life right now, right at this very moment is challenging and wonderful and glorious and passing by all too quickly.    Often, it's not until it's over that we begin to appreciate the extravagant blessing of our loved ones, of each of our moments, of the simplest of our daily blessings of family, of work, of daily bread, of God's creation, of friends, of strength, of sight and smell and touch, of laughter, of tears.
      Isn't it funny how the monotonous or the routine can dull us to the extraordinary blessings behind the routine?  If the sun rose in all it's glory only every once and a while, we would be astounded at the wonder of it all--at the colors, at the fresh new start, at the new light and hope illuminating the morning!  If we rarely glimpsed our baby's smile or heard our child's singing or hugged our sister, we would be overwhelmed with the astounding joy of it all.   Folding the laundry and changing diapers and running carpools and cleaning the kitchen become luminously infused with the sacred when we recognize the irreplaceable loved ones prompting each duty and act of love.  Loved ones who will not be with us forever and so must be appreciated and known and loved today, the only day we really have.
     And so I thank You Lord for each and every Grandparents/Special Friends Day for the past 17 years.  Thank You for the gift of children, of parents, of sisters and brothers, of husbands, of wives.  Thank You for the gift of dedicated teachers and schools. Thank You for our problems for they drive us to You, and thank You for our blessings that remind us of Your goodness and grace.  Thank You for love and laughter and life--and for the gift of living each day, one at a time, never to be repeated and never to be taken for granted.
     Thank You most of all, Lord Jesus, for one day entering our time--our limited time of days and hours and minutes--as a helpless newborn baby.  Thank You for laying aside Your infinite glory and honor and power and taking on our frail flesh and moving into our messy neighborhoods and teaching us what it is to love and live each day to the glory of God.  And thank You, thank You, thank You, for saving us and giving us the gift of eternal life so that our days of worship and wonder will go on and on and on, no limitations, no losses.  Only Love.  Forever.  To our Savior, our Lord of time and eternity, be all the glory forever and ever.

Motherhood at DEFCON 1

     It started out with so much promise, this fine day.  Sure, I had plenty on my plate and prayed, as I often do, that somehow the Lord would enable me to accomplish it all--or at least all that He wanted me to do (a pretty enormous distinction, actually).  And things were going along nicely: time with the Lord, dog walked, exercise finished, children's rooms cleaned up, waffles made (homemade! Take that, Martha Stewart!),  laundry started, kitchen cleaned, Target run completed, and now, at 11:00 visiting a dear friend and her newish baby.  I already had the lengthy to-list firmly implanted in my mind and was off to the races, when my cell phone rang.  Maybe I should change my ring-tone to that computer voice from "Lost in Space"-- "Danger, Will Robinson!  Danger!"  Mine might say, "Danger, Old Girl, Answer at your own peril! Danger!"
     Sure enough, it was DEFCON 1.  One of my children--who shall remain nameless--called and was frantic, a bit accusatory, as if somehow this were partly my fault--and breathlessly semi-shouted that she had locked the keys in her car and class was starting in 5 minutes and she HAD HAD HAD to have the stuff in the car and this was disastrous and terrible and awful and wretched and we needed to call AAA NOW NOW NOW, or preferably 10 minutes ago, and get her car unlocked NOW and I gotta go.  Click.  That is a fairly accurate translation--minus the hysteria.  Motherhood.
      Gee whiz, a moment earlier I had been holding a precious little cooing 5 month old baby and now I had been hurled into adolescent hyperspace with my teeth on edge and my hands gripping the steering wheel like a vise. Now that I think of it,  I think I may have been clutching that steering wheel the same way I held on for dear life on that horrific roller coaster ride at Williamsburg that my children (and my friend JoAnna) shamed me into riding.  The same head pounding, stomach twisting, panicked-hysteria. The things we do for our children.
     My lovely day of getting a lot of chores accomplished, cleaning out clutter, catching up on some notes, laundry, reading the Word, and writing... well, instead I raced to Broughton High School to await the AAA guy to come unlock the car of the-child-who-shall-not-be-named and then somehow or other get the keys to him/her (don't want to give away anything here--but if you know my family, well then, you totally know whom I'm talking about).  The fellow in the tow truck raced down the strip where all the high schoolers cars are parked, and I hope to heavens no high school kids were watching or my children may have to transfer, but I jumped out of the car and went running down the strip trying to catch him and yelling, "Hey, hey, right here!!  Stop! It's me!"
     Yes, go ahead and laugh.  Dignity is the middle name for all us mothers.  We get used to wearing baby spit-up on our tee shirts or eating left-over chicken nuggets from our children's plates or having dark circles under our eyes or wearing the same dirty socks from yesterday or frantically yelling our child's name in Target or concealing that ever so slight pouch in our stomachs.  Or running down a strip of cars full of high schoolers.
     After managing to stop the very nice but speeding tow truck guy (how about "You go, girl" right here!  Yes, again, we mamas can stop speeding tow trucks!), we calmly proceeded to the parking lot to her.... NO CAR!!!  O my stars!  If there was a DEFCON Negative 1, this would be it!  My child was now in class and the tow truck fella looked at me like I was an insane middle-aged out-of-it mom... which I was and am proud of it, too.  I frantically texted my child nice calm things like "NO CAR!!!  WHERE IS THE CAR!!  NEED TO KNOW NOW!!" And a mili-second later, "CAR!  WHERE IS THE CAR?!!"  hmm, wondering where she gets if from?  I'm guessing the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
     As the increasingly irritated tow truck guy glared at me, my child called me back and told me that it was parked in front of a fast food place at the nearby shopping center (upper classmen can eat off campus lunch).  Somehow I had missed that small detail in the middle of the DEFCON 1 rant.  Sigh.  So the long-suffering, now probably irate, tow truck guy and I race over to the shopping center--at lunchtime mind you--to find her car.  We drive around a bit amidst heavy traffic and, when we finally locate it, there are, of course, no parking spaces within a 10 mile radius.  This guy surely despised me by now.  But I wasn't thinking very lovely and kind thoughts about my-child-who-shall-not-be-named either.  But I'm a mother, so I soldier on, undaunted and determined to get those keys.
     You're probably already tired of reading this scintillating tale, so suffice it to say, we finally got the car unlocked--even though I had to double park with my lights flashing for a minute or two and had to do another run for the roses in another crowded parking lot, only this time with adults staring at me.  I'm pretty sure they were sending the shopping center security after me--but I raced off in the nick of time, triumphant with car keys in hand!  The thrill of victory!
     And now, I sit and smile at another memory of what it means to be a mom.  All those sappy hallmark cards and tear jerker commercials?  Ha!  Just once, I wish they would show a real mom--frazzled, exhausted, overwhelmed, discouraged, anxious, but also excited, joyous, proud, blessed, grateful beyond all reason.  Thankful--even for the DEFCON 1 phone calls.  Thankful even when the laundry piles up or the mail piles up or the tears pile up.  Thankful even when the days are long... for the years are short.  Thankful even with the mess and the noise and the ingratitude and the daily grind.  For each of our children truly are priceless, infinitely treasured gifts from an extravagant Father. They are loaned to us for an all too short time, and, O, how we love them, even when they make us crazy. For they also make us want to be better than we are: to love more unselfishly, to speak with more kindness,  to be wiser and stronger and holier.  They drive us to our knees... and that is the best place in the world to be, with our gracious, glorious, all powerful Heavenly Father.
      He knows what it feels like to have sometimes ungrateful, clueless children--but children forever beloved and precious beyond all reason.  And He knows what it is to love unconditionally... He sent His Son, His only perfect Son, to prove it forever and to save us from our sins and from ourselves.  What a Father.  What a Savior.  What a Love.  Help me to love like You love, Father.  I might be tired and frazzled and frantic, but I am Yours. And my children--they are Yours too.   Thank You for the inestimable gift of children.  All your gifts are so infinitely good and all are evidence of Your amazing grace.  For every single one, we simply say, "Thank You, Lord."  To God, our perfect, loving, saving, sovereign Father, be all the glory.

Robo Calls!

     If I get one more "robo" call before this election, I think I'm gonna throw up!  Seriously, these things just seem to proliferate like flies at a family reunion picnic--every year it gets worse and worse.  Do people seriously listen to all these pre-recorded calls?  I'll never forget the first time I got one of those calls a few years back and, boy, was I impressed!  Wow, I thought, that is the actual President's voice on my answering machine!... well, and on a few hundred other million answering machines as well.  But that was roughly 10,000 robo calls ago--I am no longer terribly impressed by the recorded voices of movie stars or political leaders or bill collectors on my phone.  Been there, done that.  As my wonderful Aunt Janie used to say when some poor, unknowing solicitor used to call her, "I'm not interested in that at all!"  Click.
     But I had to ask myself, is that how I'm demonstrating love first to my Savior and then to my family and friends and those God has so graciously placed in my life?  Out of sheer busyness and preoccupation, do I sometimes (or often) "robo call" my time, my attention, my affection, my concern, my gratitude?  Am I really present when I am with them, or are the lights on but nobody's home--cooking dinner, answering emails, contemplating my to-do list, worrying about one of my children, fretting over some matter and not really seeing or listening or loving the very ones with whom I most need and desire to pursue in meaningful, deep relationship.  It's so easy to be shallow and quick and inattentive to those dearest to us in our relentless quest to get more things done and completed--even though, ironically,  all those chores and accomplishments are most often for the very people we love and are somehow missing in our busyness and rush!  We robo call those we most cherish while squandering our time and attention on all the other meaningless flotsam of life.
     Or when we spend time with the Lord: how often do we "robo call" our Savior?  Do we read the life-altering, life-sustaining supernatural Word of God as though we are doing our required summer reading for college?  Just get it done and check it off our list... and tragically miss the Lord of the universe waiting in it's precious pages to speak to us, convict us, encourage us, change us, equip us?  O forgive us, Father! We forfeit blessing upon blessing in our haste to get it done and move on to something more urgent and infinitely less important.
     And, boy, how much we miss in our personal relationships when we do this!  Truly, how often have you been swayed by a robo call?  Me?  Never!  But, let me talk to my husband, or a dear friend, or one of my siblings, or a beloved child, and I am always impacted and inevitably caused to ponder and understand dilemmas or concerns in a new way.  Love always causes us to be changed and challenged and comforted... but also, praise God, less conceited and self-concerned.  But we have to be fully present and actively seeking to listen and empathize and encourage that other person.  We can't put it on auto-pilot while we selfishly seek our own way and our own agenda.
     I have been so convicted in reading through the Gospel of John--what an example from start to finish of the love of Christ--the sacrificial, perfect, sanctifying, unselfish love of the Savior.   John outlived all the other disciples.  And in Jerome's Commentary on the Epistle to the Galatians, we are told: "When he [Apostle John] tarried at Ephesus to extreme old age, and could only with difficulty be carried to the church in the arms of his disciples, and was unable to give utterance to many words, he used to say no more at their several meetings, than this, 'Little children, love one another.'  At length, the disciples and fathers who were there, wearied with always hearing the same words, said, 'Master, why dost thou always say this?'  'It is the Lord's command,' was his worthy reply, 'and if this alone be done, it is enough.'"
     Amen!  Read through the Gospel of John, and you will see an unrelentingly loving Savior--a Lord who loves to the uttermost and even to laying aside all the infinite glory and respect and honor due Him and gives His life for His own created beings (sinful and ungrateful though they be).  And here is what He commands us: "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.  By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." (John 13:34-35)
     If you were taken to court for being a disciple of Christ, based upon this evidence of the way you love others, would there by enough evidence to convict?   Do others know I am His by the way I love?  Or do I look more like some frenzied, shallow follower who loves when it's convenient or comfortable?   O Lord, You who loved so infinitely much, help me to follow closely in Your footsteps and to love--to truly love sacrificially and fully with the love of Christ.  I surely cannot do it, selfish girl that I am, but You can do it through me.  
     No more robo calls--but only the authentic call of loving fully and sacrificially and joyfully!  Loving God and loving others.  After all, "It is the Lord's command, and if this alone be done, it is enough."  Help us to love, Lord.  To God, the author and source of all love, be the glory.