"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of darkness, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way--in short the period was so far like the present period that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only."
So begins one of my favorite books, A Tale of Two Cities, by one of my favorite authors, Charles Dickens.
And how often do his brilliant words describe our world and our lives... and our days. Or, for example, my day today. We are all blessed beyond measure but yet we all face disappointments and struggles and sorrows. Each and every day we can often say, "it is the best of times, it is the worst of times." But the question is, where is our focus? Are we focused upon our blessings and the God of all our blessings or are we fixated upon our limitations and failings and faults?
How often I seem to brush past God's blessings and instead am preoccupied by life's bruisings. All that I have can be lost in the little that I lack. O forgive me Father!
Today I grew so discouraged by all that I have to do and how far behind I am in about every area of my life: from laundry folding to Bible study to clutter patrol to training of children to various projects for school to... well, trust me, the list goes on and on. Sigh. And when life gets overwhelming, it's so easy to grow worried and discouraged. Surely the two most unproductive and unhelpful emotions we ever experience (and just as surely two that especially seem to assail us mothers--we worry about our children and grow discouraged about ourselves as moms). Worry and discouragement--boy, they can ruin a perfectly beautiful day, can't they? And suddenly that which was the "best of times" becomes, in an instant, the "worst of times."
My husband shared with me something he had heard from Tim Keller--Worry is thinking that we know what we need and that God will somehow not come thru. Amen! Aren't we all prone to thinking that somehow, deep down, we really do have the best plan, and surely, if God really loves us, He will go along with and bless our plan. We worry, however, that He will not bless our seemingly perfect plan or will not come thru in someway or that His plan is actually painful and disappointing and second (or third or fourth) best. Perhaps we even wonder if God might be holding out on us. But if we, if I, really love God and trust Him and recognize that He is the ONLY ONE with ALL the power, ALL the wisdom, ALL the ability, ALL the love, ALL the grace, ALL the knowledge then, of course, His plans will be best, pleasing and perfect. Can I not trust Him and His ways? I remember hearing a fellow share a long time ago that God's will is what we would choose IF we knew what God knew--i.e. God's will is what we would choose if we had ALL the facts.
Let's face it, we don't have all the facts. We just think or assume we do--but, boy, we don't. Never have. Never will. That day won't arrive until we see Jesus face to face, so until that time, we have the choice: worry and wring our hands and live each day anxious and fretful or trust and rest in the peace that He has it all under control and His plans and ways are best. Best for us, best for those we love. That's where the rubber meets the road--trusting when we cannot see, trusting when we do not know or understand, but placing our trust in Him who is totally trustworthy and perfectly faithful. Our faith is "the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." (Hebrews 11:1)
I said it the other day, but to weaken the grip of worry, worship the God of glory. Focus on Him and not on fretting or failings. Thank Him for His manifold goodness in our lives rather than focusing upon the gaps in our lives. And that's how we break the grip of discouragement as well-- faith and focus. Faith in Him and His ultimately good and perfect plans, and focus upon Him and His daily and constant goodness and grace and glory in our lives.
So today, I choose to focus on Him and His goodness rather than worry over the gaps. We all have a ridiculous abundance of blessings for which to be thankful! God's mercy and goodness and grace in my life exceeds anything I could ever begin to deserve or imagine. Thank You, Lord for:
-Salvation--to paraphrase Tim Keller, I am so so so much more sinful than I could imagine (and, O, how my sin and selfishness breaks my heart) BUT I am so infinitely much more loved than I ever dared to hope or dream. No words can describe the wonder and glory of His infinite, eternal, beautiful grace.
-Grace--what can I say, I have to praise Him for it again and again! May it be my song for all the days of my life. And might His grace be reflected--by the power of He who lives within me--in my daily actions and attitudes. More grace, Lord, more grace!
-Family--grace again! My husband, my 5 five precious children, my siblings, my parents, my legacy of faith from generations long passed. Yesterday, we went to see my oldest daughter graduate from a Fellows program, and I wept in gratitude at the wonderful godly young woman she has become. Thank You, Lord, for the incredible challenge and privilege and joy of being a mother.
-Creation--beauty, wonder, glory! The stunning blue sky, the startling green grass, the morning song of the mocking bird, the brilliant red cardinal, the cool morning air, the sweet scent of the honeysuckle, the peaceful evening chorus of the crickets, the flash of the lightening bug. And we get to see and hear and smell it all day after day after day! Priceless. Incredible.
--Friends. Church. Sports and watching my children play and compete. Reading. Hot baths. Hot tea. Chocolate. Finishing a task. Hugs. Laughter. Dogs happily hanging out the windows of passing cars. Hot water (we lost ours last week--whew, hot water is a blessing!). Clean sheets. Chocolate cake... or chocolate ice cream... or chocolate cookies.... hmm, I'm sensing a theme here. Learning something new. Walking in the fresh air with good old Moses. Hearing the voice of a loved one. Looking at old pictures of loved ones who have gone on to heaven. Home.
--Seeing the Savior's reflection in each and every blessing and whispering a grateful "Thanks." Today, might we choose to focus upon God, not the gaps, and thank Him for the myriad blessings we have rather than the little we lack. And to the God who's forever faithful and trustworthy, whose plans are perfect, and whose blessings are bountiful beyond all imagining, be all the glory.
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