Boy, I am. The last few days, here's how I've been feeling--
It's been a hard, prolonged season of waiting and waiting...and of seeing a number of prayers seemingly going unanswered. Well, let me correct that: of seeing God answer some prayers with "No" (which we struggle with, because, of course, we assume we have the ideal plan) and other prayers with the apparent answer of "Not yet."
Funny, when we're sad and struggling because God's not healing the folks we praying for...or restoring the relationships and prodigals we're interceding for...or giving relief to the pain--physical or emotional--for the loved ones that we're asking for...we tend to forget or ignore all the countless prayers He has answered with a resounding, astounding "Yes!" That miraculous healing, that gift of encouragement at just the right moment, that consoling presence of a person we love, that beautiful morning walk, that hymn of praise, that deliverance from sin, that very next breath.
Forgive us, forgive me, Father, for my shockingly short memory for the infinite number of ways You've been so good to us and for our (my) ridiculous ingratitude.
And yet, despite our moments of confusion or doubt or frustration with the painful waiting times, our Lord still loves us just the same, adores us just as much as when we're full of confident faith and joyful hope. Incredible.
His perfect love never, ever waivers...even when we do. And His extravagant grace and joy in us never diminishes even one tiny iota...even when our feeble faith feels weak and weary.
Oh how thankful I am that He is faithful even when we are faithless, for as His forever-faithful Word says, "If we are faithless, He remains faithful--for He cannot deny Himself." (2Tim.2:13) He knows that when we look at life and only feel and see a grey and blank fogginess, He is still there...still working and moving, sovereign and good.
Yes, it might appear grey and foggy, but the true, real reality is that this is what's actually out there, just momentarily blocked by our emotions--
And here's what we know--God is great. And He is good. And He is sovereign. And He always answers our prayers in what He knows is the best and most perfect way (even when we cannot see it or understand it. He does, and that's enough.) And He will never, ever leave us nor forsake us...even on our worst days or our foggiest, greyest, weakest moments.
Just this morning, He reminded me of all this in His Word--
"Why do you say, O Jacob, and speak, O Israel, 'My way is hidden from the Lord, and my right is disregarded by my God'? Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; His understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might He increases strength. Even youths shall faint and grow weary; and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." (Isa. 40: 27-31)
Oh how I praise Him for His beautiful, powerful, supernatural Word!
I don't know what prolonged siege of waiting on God you might be enduring right now, but His Word reminds us that He is here; He is infinite and eternal; He is the awesome Creator; He is always at work; He is supremely powerful; He is in complete control; He is redeeming, restoring, and lifting up His own; He is infinitely good and faithful; and He is worthy of all our waiting and wondering.
Don't be guided by your feelings, but allow your faith to be shaped by the Truth of who our God is and what He is doing.
He is, even now, making all things new--things we can see...and things we cannot. And we will trust Him.
To God be the glory.
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