"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For it they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to life him up!"(Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)
"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." (Prov.17:17)
Thank You, Father, for the priceless, beautiful gift of friends and family. Forgive me, forgive all of us for ever, ever taking it for granted.
It's been a struggle to put words to paper recently. Mourning the absence of our dear friend JoAnna has somehow taken the wind out of my sails. Golly, I know I speak for so many of us when I say, I just really, really miss her. It's not like I saw her on a daily basis--no, I didn't enjoy that pleasure. But whenever I saw her, my heart lifted, my mind was engaged and challenged, my attitude was energized, my spirits were always inspired and encouraged. And there was always laughter!
JoAnna always made me want to be and do better. Especially to love better. To reach out to others. To be far more intentional in loving and encouraging others. To fight laziness and passivity and instead to get out there make a difference.
And now the thought that I can't reach out to her. That I can't laugh with her. That I can't learn from her. That I can't simply talk with her. That I can't tell her how much she means to me and to so many others. Well, it's not just incredibly painful...it leaves an enormous hole for all who knew her. That hole cannot be filled. JoAnna--as is every person that we love--is simply irreplaceable. But while we can't fill that emptiness, I'm starting to think that hole can and must be the powerful impetus and motivation for those of us still here in the shadowlands, to love better, more intentionally, and more consistently. To check in with our friends more regularly. To give our friendships more deliberate time and attention. To tell and show our family members how much we love them.
To put aside our to do lists and focus instead on our to love lists.
Because there are no treasures greater than the people that we love. And those treasures will not be with us here on this earth forever. Yes, we have heaven for that glorious forever--praise God!--but on this earth, we only have today to love well those God has put in our lives. We're called to love here and now. To share each others burdens here and now. To weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice here and now. To enjoy and savor and laugh with them here and now. To serve and help and encourage here and now. Oh might we truly treasure our treasures!
But it's not just our dear family and friends. JoAnna's tireless example reminds me that there is a hurting world out there full of people who desperately need to feel included...valued...appreciated. Boy, JoAnna did that relentlessly--making sure folks felt welcomed and loved. She didn't want anyone to feel left out or less than. How I want to be quicker to reach out to others, and especially, like JoAnna, to those who might feel alone or marginalized or simply uncomfortable.
I'll never forget a year or two ago when JoAnna called me to say she was coming to our house the next day. It wasn't a request but an announcement...and when JoAnna announced, you listened and obeyed! (Because she was always right...and she always did it in a winsome, wonderful way!) The reason for her visit? Well, JoAnna and I were helping to host a bridal shower a few days from then, and she wanted to come on over to help me "get organized." (And Lord knows I need a LOT of help in that department.) Clueless me, of course, hadn't given it a second thought. Here was yours truly's brilliant plan to prepare for the big event: a few hours before the shower, I'd vacuum up the reams of dog hair, shove all the books and junk into some out of the way closet, turn on the music, and open the front door! Come on in and have at it, ladies!
Thank the Lord for thoughtful, intentional folks like JoAnna. She came in and helped me with all the books and junk (which we carried to the basement rather than the closet--so much easier to access later!). But then she talked about "flow"--and how we'd have someone at the front door to welcome each lady when she came in...where we'd put the name tag table so folks could naturally walk there next and thus quickly figure out each other's names...where we'd put the drinks and food so women could easily and naturally chat and eat.
In other words, everything JoAnna did and thought about had to do with ensuring that every person who entered that door the next day would feel warmly welcomed and included and valued. Nothing haphazard about it--because love needs to be intentional. Love needs to be practical. Love need to be expressed and lived out and acted upon.
Don't worry about what your house looks like...focus on how your house can be a warm and happy haven for all who enter. Don't obsess over what you're wearing to the party...fixate on what you're doing to welcome others and make them feel loved.
That's just a taste of the myriad lessons on life and love we've all learned and experienced firsthand from our dear JoAnna!
I'll close with a wonderful quote our daughter, Janie, shared with me just after JoAnna went home to heaven. It's from Dietrich Bonhoeffer:
"There is nothing that can replace the absence of someone dear to us, and one should not even attempt to do so. One must simply hold out and endure it. At first that sounds very hard, but at the same time it is also a great comfort. For to the extent the emptiness truly remains unfilled one remains connected to the other person through it. It is wrong to say that God fills the emptiness. God in no way fills it but much more leaves it precisely unfilled and thus helps us preserve -- even in pain -- the authentic relationship. Further more, the more beautiful and full the remembrances, the more difficult the separation. But gratitude transforms the torment of memory into silent joy. One bears what was lovely in the past not as a thorn but as a precious gift deep within, a hidden treasure of which one can always be certain.”
I'll end where I began--thank You, Father, for the priceless, beautiful gifts of friends and family, and forgive us for ever taking these treasures for granted. Help us to love well, to love intentionally, to love relentlessly, and to love by Your Spirit and for Your glory...all the way till You take us to our heavenly, forever home.
To God be the glory.
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