It was one of those nights--a cool, rainy evening. After a full, busy day, I rushed in from the grocery store, with two hungry boys in tow having just picked them up from the golf course. Nothing yet started for dinner. Our daughter, bless her heart, was clearly coming down with some kind of virus and felt terrible. I had a million things I needed to get done. And there's nothing so disquieting and frustrating that those little rankling chores and projects you just can't ever seem to tackle or complete.
The house, to put it kindly, was a wreck, with Christmas decorations strewn all over the place, half empty boxes and strings of lights and nativity sets, all waiting to be put up or put away. I asked my son where he wanted to put the newly repaired nutcracker (like all our nutcrackers--showing his age and old war wounds from our boys' "Nutcracker Wars"). My husband immediately quipped, "In the large green trash bag." Yeah, well, I'm saving him for my stint on the reality show "Hoarders."
Time to go get the tree.... Deck the halls with boughs of holly, Fa la la la... only by now it's pouring outside. Everyone's grumpy (especially yours truly, I regret to admit); what about homework?; that dinner seems to regrettably feature only "white" items (as in "white" pasta and sauce, a decidedly white, bland looking salad, white rolls) so no one's too excited... and so it goes.
And so, in the words of John Bunyan, I fell into the "slough of despond"-- a pit of discouragement featuring a solo pity party. Not a fun party, I must say, and sadly, a party that can infect those around you.
Sometimes we fall off the thanksgiving wagon, don't we? And you know why? Well, for me, it's almost always because I'm focused on me, myself, and I. My problems. My frustrations. My limitations.
O forgive me, Father! Our Lord has given us so much--yes, blessings of family and friends and home and health and nation and creation, but so infinitely much more. He has given us salvation, grace, forgiveness, love, mercy, kindness, strength, peace and on and on. He has given us His Word, daily manna to teach encourage and equip and empower. He has given us Himself. He didn't just tell us He loves us. He came. He demonstrated that forever love in coming and living and dying and rising again. For us.
What exactly was I complaining about? Why wasn't I counting His myriad gifts rather than counting my meager complaints?
But here's the thing about our Savior--He forgives. He renews. He gives us fresh new opportunities to get it right, by His enabling power. It's called grace. And boy, there's nothing like it in this world!
"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." (I John 1:9) And His mercies are new every morning--"The Lord is righteous in her midst. He will do no unrighteousness. Every morning He brings His justice to light. He never fails..." (Zeph.3:5) We may fail Him... but He'll never ever fail us.
"Morning by morning, new mercies I see. Thou changest not, Thy compassions they fail not. Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me."
So today, let's thank God for fresh starts after failure. For His brand new mercies with each brand new day. For forgiveness. For grace.
O, for amazing grace that covers all our sins and clothes us in His righteousness. Grace that enables us to dance even in the midst of our sometimes messy, imperfect lives.
Time to get back on the wagon again. And start remembering and recounting His gifts, His goodness in our lives. And be thankful.
To the God of all grace, be all the glory.
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