Envy versus gratitude

     Just because this makes me happy--thank You, Lord, for boys and dogs and sunny days!

     I recently heard envy explained in a fascinating way: envy looks at what we don't have and assumes that is the good we really want and need.  In other words, envy says, "Look what so and so has that you don't.  If only you had what they have, then life would be good and you'd be happy."  Wrong!
     The opposite of envy is gratitude.  While envy focuses only upon what I don't or can't have, gratitude looks at what I do have and chooses thankfulness.
     Envy always leads to misery and bitterness.  Always.  That's why comparison is so absolutely deadly, because we grow preoccupied with what others have (that we want) or don't have (that we wish we didn't have).
      I'll never forget starting to fall into that trap when Janie was so sick and in a coma in the ICU.  Some folks thought she was in a medically-induced coma.  O if only!  Nope, she was unconscious from the time of the accident, and the doctors could not wake her up though they tried repeatedly.   Every few hours, the doctors and nurses would shout her name in her ear, trying to awaken her.  "Janie, wake up.  Janie wake up!" they yell.  But day after day after day, no response whatsoever.  It was always a roller coaster of emotions--great hope as they began the routine of shouting at her and praying that this might be the time that she would finally respond and wake up.  And then profound disappointment when once again, time after time, she would not respond in any way.
     And then one day, after we had been there almost two weeks and Janie was still unconscious and unresponsive, a middle-aged man was admitted into the room next door.  He, too, had been in a serious car accident and was unconscious from a brain injury as well.  I could hear them through the thin walls trying the same routine to awaken him.  Nothing for him as well on the first day.  But then on only his second day in the ICU, he apparently began to awaken and I could hear the muted excitement of those attending him.
     It was then that the ugly, hateful spirit of comparison and envy began to invade my heart.  Lord, why couldn't that be Janie?  Why him and not her?  We've been here almost 2 weeks and nothing.  He's been here only 2 days....
     I can only praise the Lord that He checked me in my spirit the moment my heart started heading down that despairing, bitter path of comparison and envy.  In His mercy, God stopped me in my tracks and reminded me of His faithfulness to us, His presence with us, His love and mercy and grace for us.
     I made a conscious effort at that moment to transfer my thoughts away from envy and towards gratitude.  Thank You Lord for this fine hospital and these amazing doctors and nurses.  Thank you for my dear, priceless brothers and sisters helping us and being with us constantly.  Thank You for our incredible friends who are doing everything under the sun and more for us.  Thank You for our church praying for us.  Thank You for the strength You've given us every moment.  Thank You that we live in a nation where we can have this remarkable medical care.  Thank you for our children's schools and all they have done for us during this time... and on and on.
     You can see--the list grew exponentially, and the more blessings I recounted, the more my heart lifted and my joy returned ten-fold.  Janie was still unconscious, but I could rejoice that the man next door was recovering while still praying in faith for God's healing in our lives as well.
     It's true in every area of our lives.  We live in a big world where God has plenty of blessings to go around!  Time to stop envying others for God's  generosity in their lives and feeling bitter about what we lack and instead focus upon His extraordinary grace in our lives.
     Time to reject envy and instead choose gratitude--being thankful and savoring and loving what we do have rather than what we lack.
     So back to where I started--thank You, Lord Jesus, for children and dogs and sunshine.  Thank You for the dear friend who dropped off those gorgeous gardenias at our front door... and wow, thank You for the glorious fragrance of their blooms that have brought us a hefty dose of joy in our kitchen ever since.  And by the way, Lord, what a great idea when You created gardenias--thank You!  And thank You for friends who walk through this adventure of life with us.
     Thank You for our Savior who never ever leaves us nor forsakes us--even when we do slip into envy and forget gratitude.  And thank You for Your amazing grace...that pulls us back from the bitter brink and always brings us back to You, our ultimate source of all joy.  To God be the glory.