We will remember what we've forgotten!

"Everything we need to learn is what we've already forgotten... The Church doesn't need to reinvent, but to remember." Dave Owens (one of our church's ministers).

We will remember, we will remember

We will remember, the works of Your hands

We will stop and give You praise

For great is Your faithfulness

So goes the chorus of one of my favorite songs, "We will Remember." Such a simple truth and yet so profound. I know that I have the memory of a gnat. I can't remember names. I struggle even with faces! I forget to take my children to birthday parties or to attend school events, even though they are written on my calendar... because I forget to look at my calendar! There is so much that I forget, but when I forget who God is and what He has done, then discouragement and disillusionment and despair and distraction will set in and take over.

Just the other day, my husband and I grew very discouraged over something one of our children was dealing with. Suddenly, our minds were filled with all the worst case scenarios, and we felt defeated and anxious. Note the word, "felt." It was all about feelings rather than Truth. Somehow in all our dire calculations, God had been left utterly out of the equation! And He is the equation! We had forgotten who our Almighty God is, what He has done, and that He is still on the throne and is still in the business of doing "immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine..." But we needed to remember!

We all need to stop in the midst of whatever crisis or challenge we are facing and choose to remember who our God is and what He can do and remember that His Holy Spirit dwells within us and can enable us to face whatever life hands us and to do whatever He's called us to do. But it all has to start with a conscious choice to remember and then to ask Him to enable us in the power of the Holy Spirit to act upon the Truth we know rather than the emotions we feel.

During a very difficult time in Martin Luther's life, he was carrying a number of heavy burdens and fighting many difficult battles. Though usually jovial and light hearted, Luther was depressed and anxious and very discouraged. His wife, Katherine, endured this for some time until one day when he returned home, she met him at the door wearing a black mourning dress and veil.

"Who died?" he asked her.

"God, " his wife responded.

"You foolish thing!" said Luther. "Why this foolishness?"

"It is true," she persisted. "God must have died, or Doctor Luther would not be so sorrowful."

Luther got the message, his perspective changed, and the depression lifted.

How often I live as if God has died! How quickly I lose perspective and grow discouraged or fearful or discontent--for I've forgotten that My God, the One who created the far flung galaxies, who sustains the world and causes the earth to turn and the sun to shine, who raises the dead to life, the One who renews and redeems and restores and reinvigorates--My glorious, omnipotent, gracious God is in control of everything and everyone and every moment!

In his old age, John Newton, in one of his last sermons, declared that he was a very old man and his memory was failing him. But two things he always remembered, "How great a sinner I am and how great a Savior Christ is." Amen!

How thankful I am that I don't have to get it all together to remember the greatness of my Savior and the infinite enormity of His resources! I am a helpless, hapless sinner...but he is a great Savior! I am exhausted and overwhelmed...but He never runs out or runs low. As Paul Miller put it: "Jesus opens His arms to His needy children and says, 'Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest' (Matthew 11:28). The criteria for coming to Jesus is weariness. Come overwhelmed with life. Come with your wandering mind. Come messy." Boy, now there's a standard I can meet: overwhelmed, wandering mind, messy. And Jesus bids me "come." Come weary and worn out and weak... but come remembering who He is and what He has done and what He can do.

We will remember, we will remember

We will remember, the works of YOur hands

We will stop and give you praise

For great is Thy faithfulness.

You're our Creator, our life sustainer

Delivered, our comfort, our joy

Throughout the ages You've been our shelter

Our peace in the midst of the storm

With signs and wonders You've shown Your power

With precious blood You showed us Your grace

And we will shout, our God is good

And He is the faithful One

We will remember, we will remember

We will remember the works of Your hands

We will stop and give You praise

For great is Thy faithfulness.

Our Lord never ever forgets us. May we stop forgetting Him. In the midst of the storms or the sunshine of our lives, in the mundane or the messy, in our sinfulness or our strengths, in our busyness or our barrenness, we must choose to remember. He is so worthy, so great and so good and to Him be all the glory forever and ever. Amen.

Fear the Lord, not the Future

Last night I awoke at 1:30 and was filled with dark condemnation and anxiety. As I lay in bed, a litany of worries engulfed me, and my exhausted mind poured over imagined dire possibilities as well as all my pitiful shortcomings. There is something about the late nighttime hours that seems to give birth to every frightful worry and care, and we feel oppressed and lonely and utterly inadequate.

I finally got up at 3 a.m. and went and poured out my heart to the Lord. I read in those quiet moments, "Ps.147:11 "The Lord delights in those who fear Him, who put their hope in His unfailing love." And Ps.145:19 "He fulfills the desires of those who fear Him; He hears their cry and saves them." What a reminder it was to me this morning that we are to fear God, not circumstances or possible senarios or failures. He is our Hope when life seems hopeless. He is our Way when we have no idea where to go. He is our wisdom in the midst of confusion. He is our abundant Life when we are empty and exhausted. He is our Victory when we are facing defeat. He is our Song when are joyless. He is our Light when we walk in utter darkness. He is our Peace when we are anxious. He is our Grace when we are completely unworthy.

And He is the source of every good thing in our lives. As I poured out my heart to Him, I started thanking Him for every blessing I could think of--and as the list grew longer, my anxiety grew weaker and weaker. Ps.136 commands us over and over: "Give thanks to the Lord for He is good; His steadfast love endures forever." Sometimes we cannot figure out what on earth He is doing. Sometimes His plans seem mystifyingly and dramatically different from our hopes and dreams. As Beth Moore wrote: "God's ways will always be higher than ours, but we don't have to understand Him to settle the matter in our hearts that we can trust Him." Amen! It really is true that you cannot be filled with gratitude and worry at the same time! We daily, hourly, have to choose to focus on Him--the awesome unchangeable One-- on His greatness, on His blessings or focus on our ever changing circumstances. I choose Him! And for all the tomorrows, when faced with the choice once more, I pray for His grace and mercy to choose Him again and again and again all the way to glory!

In the words of one of Peter Marshall's prayers:

Thou knowest, Father, the things of which we are afraid--the terror by night, the arrow by day that takes us unawares and often finds us without a vital, ready faith. We know that Thou hast not promised to surround us with immunity from all the ills to which flesh is heir. We only pray that when they come, if come they must, they shall find us unafraid and with adequate resources to meet them. Give us a constant faith and a steady courage, that we may neither whimper nor in peevish petulance complain before Thee. We thank Thee that Thou dost still rule over the worl that Thou hast made. Kings and emperors come and depart. All the shouting and the tumult, the screaming hurricanes of time have not deviated Thee from Thy path. Help us to remember, O Christ, that Thou art victorious--Christus Victor--reigning over all; that in due time, in Thine own good time, Thou wilt work all things together for good to them that love Thee, who are called according to Thy purpose. May we find our refuge in that regnant faith, and so face the future without fear. Give to us Thy peace, through Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen.

Beautiful Savior

How overwhelmed and thankful I am that we serve an Almighty God who is infinite in His love and mercy and grace. He is the God of the victorious and the overcomers and the righteous. But He is also the God of the disorganized and the failures and the weak. He is the God of 2nd and 3rd and 4th chances. I often think of the words of Alan Redpath when he asked, "What does God expect of you?" And we would think, obedience and holiness and worship.... But Redpath goes on to exclaim, "Do you know what God expects of you? All God ever expects of you is failure!" Boy, I can do that, Lord! That is one expectation I can meet with flying colors!

But Redpath went on to gently add, "But God knows you need never ultimately fail because He has given you His Holy Spirit." Wow, I fail so frequently. Just look at my pitiful track record at writing in this blog! I fuss at my children. I waste time on the unimportant. I want my own selfish way and think my plan is somehow better than my Lord's. I let pride blind me to my own sin. My priorities get all messed up in my busyness and haste to get everything done on my to do list. I get irritated and impatient. O the list could go on and on. A list of failures.

But then I read God's love letter that tells me that God's perfect, sinless Son died on a cross to take those sins, those failures, those weaknesses, those selfish and prideful ways and covers each and every one of them with His blood. He takes my sin and gives me His righteousness...what an exchange, what a Savior!

How often I take this for granted, but then I see the hideousness of my own sin and I am overcome with amazement and gratitude for what He did for me, for us. The words of "Knees to the Earth" come to mind:

Wonderful Savior

My heart belongs to Thee

I will remember always the blood You shed for me

Wonderful Savior

My heart will know Your worth

So I will embrace You always as I walk this earth

Be blessed, be loved, be lifted high

Be treasured here

Be glorified

I owe my life to You my Lord

Here I am, Here I am...

O that I might always remember the blood He shed for me! Might I daily bless and love and lift Him high. Might I treasure Him with all my heart and glorify Him with all my actions and thoughts and words.

He is so worthy. And we are so unworthy. But He found us of priceless worth...such that no price, no suffering, no betrayal, no humiliation could be too great to redeem the ones He loved. Our beautiful, wonderful Savior--to You be all the glory!

Cardinals and the love of God!

Whew, it's been quite a while, but I'm thankful to be back! I shared with some ladies the other day something that I do that sounds kind of silly, but it is a small way to help me to keep my focus on God during the day. I guess it's a another way to, in Brother Lawrence's words, "practice the presence." Whenever I see a beautiful red cardinal, I always take it as God reminding me "I love you!" I love to walk our dog, Moses, on the greenway, and I don't think I can recall a day when I haven't seen at least one (and usually several) cardinals. Whenever I see one, I whisper "I love you too, Lord!" Every time I see a cardinal now, I smile and rejoice at the extravagant love of God!

But yesterday, as I walking I was listening to the daily audio Bible podcast (which goes through the Bible in a year) and the account of Jesus' crucifixion. It was a very wet, overcast day with heavy clouds and fog. As I pondered what Jesus had done for my sin and was surrounded by bleakness and dampness, I felt overcome by the divine love that willingly endured such agony and humiliation on our behalf. And then I saw the first brilliant spot of red fly right in front of me. I smiled and thanked God for His love, and then another beautiful cardinal and another landed in front or beside me on the greenway. They each stood out like bright red jewels in the gray landscape. In the space of 10 minutes, I can't even remember how many cardinals I saw but it was probably in double figures!

It was if God was telling me, "This is how much I love you. Look at the cross and see those wounds and the crimson blood, stark against the brown and muddy ground. See My perfect, sinless Son hanging on that cross for you. See Him alone and naked and bleeding. See His betrayal and humiliation and agony. But witness His single minded determination to die for His love of you. This is how much I love you--immeasurable and unconditional and infinite." Such is the love of God. How we need to be reminded--immense, incredible, indefatigable, infinite, indestructible love! One or two cardinals just would not do it--so God sent cardinal after brilliant red cardinal to remind this often preoccupied, forgetful, selfish heart how truly great He is and how truly wonderful what Jesus has done. O Lord Jesus, I remember and I repent and I rejoice! To You alone be all the glory forever!

P.E. in heaven!

As we were driving along in the car the other day, Peter (my 8 year old) out of the blue declared, "I can't wait to get to heaven 'cause we won't have to do any schoolwork." (We had just spent about an hour struggling with spelling homework!) He went on, "But don't even talk to me about P.E.! P.E. is going to be amazing in heaven!" Can you guess what he tells me everyday was his favorite part of the day?! Yep, we know heaven is going to be incredible and so it must include lots of P.E.!

When we daily ponder heaven, it puts everything else in our lives in perspective. When Peter shared this, I was reminded of an illustration I heard several years ago. The great old preacher, John Newton wrote: "Suppose a man was going to New York to take possession of a large estate, and his [carriage] should break down a mile before he got to the city, which obliged him to walk the rest of the way. What a fool we would think him if we saw him ringing his hands and blubbering out all the remaining mile, 'My carriage is broken! My carriage is broken!'"

And yet how often is this my foolish attitude! I have the infinite joys of heaven just before me, and I am blubbering "My energy is broken! or My parenting is broken! or My finances are broken!..." I have God's unbreakable Word that tells me He loves me and cares for me and guides me and strengthens me and renews me, but I am blubbering about my broken carriage--and the city is only a few minutes away! John Piper put it this way: "Picture this life as a journey on your way to receive a spectacular inheritance. It will protect you from idolatry and make all your burdens lighter, and quell all your murmurings."

Lord, forgive all my murmurings, my love of things and comfort and ease, my failure to be truly and continually and overwhelmingly thankful for the abundant life You graciously offer us now and the infinite and eternal joys of heaven in the future. It's less than a mile to the city...and all that fabulous P.E.! To God be all the glory!

When God says no

Sometimes God answers no to our most fervent requests. Physical healing, restoration of a relationship, fulfillment of long cherished dreams or desires, victory or success in a sporting event or school subject or business opportunity. We all love to joyfully share the affirmative answers to prayer--that is when God answers them the way we want them answered--and we are quick to give Him all the praise and glory.

But how about when His answer is no? Are we quick to thank Him and tell others about how great and sovereign and omnipotent He is?

I don't even need to answer that--at least when it comes to yours truly.

But God's no answers are just as sovereign and gracious and worthy of our faith and gratitude. Why? Because He is God, that's why. Because even when I can't see it or understand it, He sees fully and knows absolutely everything, and He knows what is best, pleasing and perfect. Because He loves us more than we could ever even begin to imagine, and so, like a loving parent, He always always always wants the very best for us. Because His Word promises us over and over again that He works all things together for good and that all His plans for us are good, and He loves us with an everlasting love.

Yet how quickly we forget! I am so often like a spoiled child with the "what have You done for me lately?" attitude. I can't see past my own nose to the bigger, beautiful picture He has spread out in front of me. How often I settle for infinitely less than He longs to give me, because I am so insistent that my way is the best way.

No, I will never understand horrific earthquakes and genocide and cancer. But I just have to trust that my Savior does, and what a glorious day that will be when He reveals His mysterious purposes behind all of the pain and suffering and we will truly understand for the first time.

But in the meantime, I choose to thank Him for His "no's," even when I don't always feel like it. I do it in faith and trust based on my knowledge of my Savior. I do it, because, just as I read last night in Streams in the Desert, "This thing is from Me." (I Kings 12:24). "My child, I have a message for you today; let me whisper it in your ear, that it may gild with glory any storm clouds which may arise, and smooth the rough places upon which you may have to tread. It is short, only five words, but let them sink into your inmost soul; use them as a pillow upon which to rest your weary head. 'This thing is from Me.'"

Nothing happens to any of us unless and until it passes through our loving, all knowing Heavenly Father. That's all I need to know--this thing is from Him so I can trust that somehow, someway it will be to my greater good and His greater glory.

I just read today's Caring Bridge entry from the husband of a mom about my age who is dying of cancer. Hospice has been called in, and her time on this earth is short. He writes: "It is a peaceful time, and we have been spending our time at home with footrubs, singing from various friends and family members, listening to praise hymns and Chris Rice CD's and trying to walk with the Lord each day that He provides us. He has told us not to worry about tomorrow; He will guide us with His perfect guidance and He in fact is holding our right hand as we go on this journey through life. We know that He leads us to Glory in eternity, and there is nothing that can separate us from His presence...[He thanks everyone for all their prayers and kindness] They are all being answered. We are prepared for each new day and what it is that God has in store for us. Rain, sleet, snow or shine, each day is a blessing because He knows His plan for our lives and it is GOOD!"

AMEN! So when God anwers no, it is really always yes in His perfect plan for each of our days. All our waiting on colleges with answers we don't necessarily like? It's yes in Him! How I love what he wrote--"each day is a blessing because He knows His plan for our lives and it is GOOD!" This from a loving husband watching His beloved wife die from cancer.

So thank You Lord for the yeses and the no's and everything in between! Help us all live our lives every single day with gratitude and joy and peace and trust that You are there, in perfect control, and "this thing is from" You--our loving, omnipotent Papa. To You be all the glory!

Waiting!

Waiting. Who likes to wait? No one (and certainly not me!). At Christmas this year, our annual letter was all about waiting, and how God works and moves and uses our waiting periods. It seemed like nearly every person involved in the Christmas story was waiting--from Mary and Joseph to the shepherds to the wise men to Simeon and Anna to the angels. And aren't we all called to wait?

But the last few days, God has been teaching us a bit more about waiting (and about my own sinfulness!). This is one of those blogs I hope and assume no one will read, but here goes! We have been waiting to hear if our son would get into a particular college yesterday (Jan. 31st). He got all the necessary paperwork in by the early november deadline so it's been almost 3 months of waiting since that time. The date to let everyone know online would be Jan. 31st.

So, starting shortly after midnight, we kept checking the website to see the results. Early the next morning, we kept checking. Every single one of his friends, except one, had heard by that morning (and most with good results). We kept checking, but the website continued to indicate that it was not yet available. Apparently, the website had some kind of malfunction and a small number of students could not yet get their results. So we waited and kept checking.

By the evening, the website malfunction had been cleared up, but there were still 150 students who had still not been reviewed yet. They would be reviewing these last students and let us know in the next couple of days. So we continued to wait.

So here's the confession part: I handled it pretty well until late yesterday afternoon. Then I started to feel pretty frustrated and discouraged, thinking, "why does this kind of thing always seem to happen to us?" "We have waited so long and I'm sick to death of waiting and just want to know something!" I was just generally in a grumpy, self-pitying mood and even got irritated with our dog for taking too long sniffing every blessed tree on our walk!

Of course, I am so thankful that My Lord does not let us stew in our sin and sinful attitudes. As I sat in the bathtub last night, He suddenly brought vividly to my mind the tragic sight of that poor father sharing brokenly about his daughter who had not yet been found in the rubble of Haiti. She had gone with a mission group from her school, and they had initially been told she had been found and had survived. They joyfully flew down to Florida to go meet her, but when they arrived, they were told the first report was incorrect, and they have still not found her. So they wait tearfully.

O Lord Jesus, I wept, forgive me selfishness and shallowness and sinful attitude. Boy, I really flunked that test of waiting. How quickly self-pity and pride and selfishness can swallow us whole if we are not on our guard. What a terrible, sickening sight it is to see how full of sin this heart can be.

But as I've shared so many times before, like John Newton, I cry out: how great a sinner I am and how great a Savior I have! What kind of God would take a spoiled, self-preoccupied, prideful sinner like me and offer complete and total forgiveness and a new start? As the song says, "there is no God like our God!" Those nails should have been mine. That beating belonged to me. That humiliating nakedness and desperate thirst deserved to have been mine. That betrayal and rejection--all mine and not the perfect sinless Creator of the galaxies.

But "God made Him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God." 2 Cor. 5:21 Because of my Savior, I can crawl up into the lap of my Abba, my Daddy, and tell him I'm so sorry and know that He loves me totally and forgives me completely. And He truly does make all things new! A God of 2nd and 3rd and 4th chances--unbelievable... but true! We can never fall so greatly or fail so miserably that His grace and love and mercy are not deeper and greater still.

So we are still waiting, but now we wait with joy and peace and patience. Because we are waiting with our Heavenly Father who has forgiven us and redeemed us and filled us. And after all, He's in charge of it all, from the tiniest microscopic cell to the largest galaxy--so what do we have to fear wherever we are waiting? No medical prognosis or relationship struggle or financial strain or seemingly hopeless situation is beyond His promise to use "all things" for His glory and our greater good. And so we wait and declare joyfully, to God be all the glory!