Spelling II...Only Believe!

Adventures in spelling, Part II! Well, spelling continues to be my 9 year old's arch nemesis...and consequently my arch nemesis as well! This afternoon, I had one of those sifting moments and felt overcome by discouragement and anxiety. As so often happens, it all began with something relatively minor, like a grade in spelling, but then snowballed into a morass of anxiety and self-condemnation. Why can't he do better on a spelling test morphed into thoughts of what it would be like for a 18 year old to still be in 3rd grade and what a terrible mother I must be and, by the way, why is my house so cluttered and why can't I be a better cook, friend, wife...and on and on.

But here is progress: instead of continuing to indulge in my pity party, I went into the living room by myself and opened God's Word and listened to what He says is true rather than my overblown, self-indulgent imagination. Here is what I read: "My God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus." Phil. 4:19 All your needs--spelling, mothering, housekeeping--not some, not most, not the most pressing, not even the vast majority, but all. I like that word "all!" And when the Lord of the Universe says all, well, then you can bet your bottom dollar on it!

Then I read that I am to "rejoice in the Lord always...Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Phil. 4:4-7. You know, we all know that verse, but if you are half as forgetful as me in moments of stress, you need to be reminded again and again! Again, look at all those words like don't be anxious about "anything" and pray about "everything." Doesn't leave much room for hand-wringing anxiety and mind-numbing fear. I can either take it to my heavenly Father, with thanksgiving, and then trust that He has it or I can keep hanging onto that heavy burden of discouragement and worry. What a choice--yet how often do I make the ludicrous decision to drag that oppressive burden along rather than trustingly hand it to Him?!

Finally I read about "His incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of His mighty strength, which He exerted in Christ when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly realms..." Eph. 1:19-20. Now that is power! Is your problem greater than that of raising someone from the dead? We have so many dear friends facing very hard challenges--lost jobs, lost health, lost children. For some of us it may be lost hope or lost strength or lost love.

But God can raise the dead and that "incomparably great power" to raise the utterly dead to life is available to every single one of us who believe! That which is lost can be found and restored...maybe not in the way we planned or imagined but, we can trust, in the ultimately best and perfect way.

Just as I was reading these verses, my husband (who at the same time had been stressing over finances) came in and shared that he had been praying God would give him a word of encouragement for both of us. He had just read this verse on a little plaque in our bathroom: "Be not afraid, only believe." Mark 5:36 But here's the context of this wonderful verse: Jairus, the synagogue ruler, has come to Jesus and asked him to come to his house to heal his desperately ill young daughter. But while they are on their way to Jairus' home, some men sadly inform him that his daughter has died so he need not "bother" (ridiculous concept since we can never "bother" Jesus when we bring Him our heartaches and concerns) Jesus anymore.

"Ignoring what they said, Jesus told the synagogue ruler, 'Be not afraid, only believe.'" Wow! What do you, what do I, need to "ignore" today? Ignore our doubts. Ignore our fears. Ignore our past failures. Ignore those voices within us that would condemn and discourage us. Ignore our failed self-sufficiency. Ignore what the world says. Ignore our fear.

Only believe.

And then Jesus went and raised Jairus' little daughter from the dead. That is "incomparably great power!"

Only believe the One who raises the completely dead to new life. Believe the One who resurrects dead hopes to new life. Believe the One who transforms plain water into new wine, who heals hopeless disease and gives new health, who changes hardened bitter hearts into new and vibrant and living ones. Believe the One who creates the galaxies out of nothing, who feeds multitudes out of a few sardines and a couple of rolls, and who defeated the powers of sin and death by dying on a Roman cross. Believe the One who rose from the dead to new life so that one day we, too, might enjoy abundant eternal life forever.

So whatever you are going through right now, Jesus gently but firmly speaks to you: "Be not afraid, only believe." For behind that belief is the One whose incomparably great power raised the dead to new life. He will bring that power to bear in your life as well--He promised. And you can stake your life on every single one of His promises. To Him be all the glory.

Today!

"This is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it." Ps. 118:24

Thank You Lord for Your Word which encourages and convicts and instructs. This is the day...today, the only today I will ever have in this life. The only "today" that God has given me--and it is a gift: a priceless, irreplaceable, once-in-a-lifetime gift that God has bestowed upon His children. Will we choose to rejoice in all that this day brings? Will we live this single day with gladness for the privilege of breathing and walking and eating and laughing and singing another day? Will we choose to rejoice in all the myriad blessings He bestows upon us--our children, our spouses, our homes, our food, our health, our safety, our bodies, our ears and eyes and mouths, our friends? How about the joy of God's eternal, supernatural Word that lights our paths and lightens our burdens? Will we rejoice that He has given us another day to serve Him, to praise Him, to make His Name great? Will our hearts be glad today in that beautiful crimson cardinal or that dear friend's encouraging words or that piece of chocolate or that strain of music or that hug or that swelling of emotion that tells us we are alive?

That laundry that seemed so overwhelming to me this morning, now seems precious for it represents the dearest of lives God has so extravagantly given to me. And I thank Him that I have the strength to lift the basket and the nose to smell the fresh, clean scent of the clean clothes. This busy day that I began weighted down with anxiety and exhaustion, I now see as a gift from His hand for it was filled with people I love and places I am thankful to be able to go to and see.

So Lord, thank You for this most precious of days--as has been said so often: today is a gift--no wonder they call it the present. So if this is my last day, may it be said I rejoiced in this day, in it's people and places and purposes. And if, in the grace of God, He gives me another day, might I rejoice anew in the opportunity to see Him at work and in giving Him glory and in knowing Him just a little bit better than the day before. To God be the glory.

Spelling words!

Sometimes child rearing can be so daily, so grinding, and so frustrating! I've just finished trying to help my 9 year old learn his spelling words--a herculean and highly exasperating exercise in patience--and a few math word problems. Eeeeeek! My husband suggested he might rent me the movie "Forest Gump" so I could be inspired by the patience and unwavering belief of Forest's mother in her son!! Nothing strips away my veneer of gentleness or kindness like spelling words! Unless it's repeating ad nauseum, "No, what IS 3X8?!!!" (not necessarily repeated with a sweet tone of voice).

Of course, I always feel so convicted of my lack of love, my lack of patient endurance, my inability to inspire rather than infuriate. And I'm reminded anew how thankful I am that my Heavenly Father is not such a fickle, easily exasperated parent. He never tires of teaching and encouraging and loving. He doesn't roll his eyes or sigh deeply when I, yet again, forget what I have just learned from His Word. When I blow it or forget it or purposely ignore it, He forgives again and again and is always there to renew and transform my mind and set me back on the right path.

Forgive me Lord for being so forgetful of You and Your Word. And forgive me for being so unlike You as I parent these precious, eternal souls You have so extravagantly given to my husband and me to raise. I'm reminded of the words of Nancy Leigh DeMoss, "Keep your eyes on things that are eternal. Keep your eyes on the finish line and that will give you grace to keep going." Reminds me of my favorite verse, "Fix your eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith...." That truly is the key--fix our eyes on Jesus. When we're tempted to throw in the towel, fix our eyes on Jesus. When we're frustrated or confused or discouraged, fix our eyes on Jesus. When we're empty or exhausted or exasperated, fix our eyes on Jesus. He's been through it all, He's with us in it all, and He promises to somehow, someway bring good out of it all.

So Lord, I'm fixing my eyes on You and keeping my eyes on the prize! To God be the glory.

Shining in the Valley

The Valley of Vision (old Puritan prayer)

Lord, High and Holy, Meek and Lowly,

Thou hast brought me to the valley of vision,

where I live in the depths but see Thee in the heights;

hemmed in by mountains of sin I behold Thy glory.

Let me learn by paradox

that the way down is the way up,

that to be low is to be high,

that the broken heart is the healed heart,

that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit,

that the repenting soul is the victorious soul,

that to have nothing is to possess all,

that to bear the cross is to wear the crown,

that to give is to receive,

that the valley is the place of vision.

Lord, in the daytime stars can be seen from deepest wells,

and the deeper the wells the brighter Thy stars shine;

Let me find Thy light in my darkness,

Thy life in my death,

Thy joy in my sorrow,

Thy grace in my sin,

Thy riches in my poverty

Thy glory in my valley.

I have so many dear friends right now who are living in the valley, and for many of them, the Lord's glory has been brilliantly reflected to a watching world as they "find Thy light" in their darkness and "Thy joy" in their sorrow. None of us would ever desire to dwell in the valley. And we especially would never want our children to have to endure any kind of valley. Yet that is where we truly learn the treasures of darkness, the all surpassing sufficiency of our Savior, and the paradox of "the deeper the wells the brighter Thy stars shine." Thank You Lord Jesus for how You glitter through each of those dear surrendered ones as they struggle and yet shine. O might we all shine on in the valley as well as the mountaintop!

I love the song, "Shine on," by the group, "Need to Breathe." Here just a few of the words:

I was with you in the valley

And up upon that hill

So take just one more step in front of you

For I am with you still

And you are not alone

Shine on, shine on

And on to something new; it's long and overdue

I will remember you

Shine on, shine on

And let the others see, you've got your victory

Will you remember Me

Can you see My hands are open

I am waiting just ahead

And you think you need it all now

But you needed Me instead

Shine on, shine on...O won't you shine

He is with us in the valley. He is leading the way, even when we cannot see Him or feel Him, for it often seems that the valley is where we truly learn that He is all we need. So Lord, for all our valleys, we ask that You would shine through us. Illumine the way ahead--even if it is only one tiny step at a time. And then help us to have the courage to take that step and trust that You will show us the next one. Thank You for Your heavenly paradoxes--that the way up is the way down, the way of greatness is servanthood, the way of fulfillment is self-sacrifice, the way of true joy is surrender. Teach us, purify us, encourage us, sanctify us. Help us to shine on this day, wherever our path leads us--whether meandering along the glorious mountain ridges or trudging through the shadowed valleys...for You are there, shining gloriously. To God be the glory.

What would you change?

The other day I heard Dan and Christy Woolley share about their amazing experience one year ago during the earthquake in Haiti. Dan works for Compassion International and was in Haiti doing some work for Compassion when he was trapped for 65 hours in the Hotel Montana following the earthquake. His coworker, who was standing right beside him when the quake hit, was killed instantly. Dan suffered severe injuries to his leg and his head and was trapped in the rubble not knowing if he would be rescued or would survive. He was trapped in about a ten foot area and he had access to his journal, so after many hours, he began writing notes to his wife and 2 boys that he hoped would be found on his body if he died and his body was eventually recovered. I saw pictures of the journal and each page was stained with his blood.

But his words have really stuck with me. As he lay in the darkness, he wanted to say some last things to his family. He told each of his boys how much he loved them. He explained to them "I was in a big accident. Don't be upset with God. He always provides for His children even in tough times. Please turn towards Him." He went on to urge his boys, "Choose the right path everyday. If you stumble, get right back on the path...Don't just live. Change the world."

To his wife, Christy, he wrote, "My greatest regrets are not spending more time discipling with God and not doing more to keep my love life more on fire with you." He told her how much he loved her and while their relationship may have cooled somewhat in the busyness of life and raising young children, he had never stopped loving her.

Dan Woolley went on to share with the radio listeners, "Life is complicated and gets blurry. Our priorities get so convoluted in our day to day lives." Dan rediscovered his priorities in this "extreme moment of clarity--my faith in Christ, loving my family, and serving others."

He admitted even with this near death experience, he still is human and still, like all of us, can struggle with keeping first things first. But he's fortunate in that "I've got a reset button. I reach down and touch the scar on my leg and it brings me back into those moments of clarity. None of us sets out to set aside our most important priorities. Life intervenes. It's important to have things in our lives that bring us back to those most important priorities."

I have been so convicted by his words. If I could have one more chance to say something to my family, what would I say? And what would be my greatest regret? Surely, like Dan Woolley, it would be not spending more time with, expending more effort in what matters most: the Lord, my family, and the people God has placed in my life for me to love and encourage and serve.

None of us has forever on this earth. What if this is my last posting on this blog? What if this is the last time you read something on the computer? What would you, what would I change? Then change it now! What priorities would you or I alter or rearrange? Alter them now! Who would we go to and tell them how much we love them, who would we encourage with words of affirmation or hope? Encourage them now! Hug that child. Write that note. Swallow that pride. Forgive that misunderstanding.

It's time to stop reading books about prayer and start praying. It's time to stop thinking about how I'd like to know God better or be more diligent in reading His Word and just start reading His love letter--today and every day. We may not have next week. We may not have tomorrow. But we have today. So Lord, I'm telling You now that You are glorious and wonderful and gracious and merciful and holy and I long to know and love You better. Help me, help us all, to stop making excuses and start living today in light of eternity. Help us live as if we too were trapped in the rubble, perched on the edge of eternity, and to say and do all that we would wish if we had the opportunity. Help us to heed the clarion call to remember what is truly important and to start living out those priorities today.

We all have a "reset button." It's called repentance. We may have failed as parents. We may have failed as spouses. We may have failed to put God first. In the words of Dan Woolley to his boys, we may have stumbled on the path, but it's never too late to "get back on the right path." Satan would saddle us with condemnation and paralyzing discouragement over our past mistakes or misplaced priorities.

But Christ makes all things new! His mercies are new every morning, and today is the day of salvation. He gives us fresh new days, fresh new years, fresh new starts to come to Him, confess and then begin anew in the power of the Holy Spirit. So come to Him today, right now, and hit that reset button, putting Him first, and then asking Him to enable us to daily keep our priorities in the right order.

I love Edmund Burke's statement that "No one could make a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could only do a little." I may not be able to write a profound blog entry...but I can simply write a little something of what God is putting on my heart. How often have I failed to write because I didn't have a big block of time or I didn't have something I thought was very interesting or helpful to share or I simply didn't "feel" like writing. Yet if God has called me to write, then I need to write despite my feelings, despite my time constraints, despite my limited abilities. So too with every important priority in our lives. We need to place them first and just start doing them whether we feel like it or not, whether we have only a little pocket of time, and whether we feel utterly inadequate to the task before us. Just do it. Do it today. Do it poorly, if necessary, and trust God to bless whatever You give and do to His glory. So Lord, thank You for the words of Dan Woolley. I pray You would use my words to encourage someone else to seek You and Your priorities today. To God alone be the glory!