Thursday, July 12, 2012

Waiting lists, golf.. and GOD

     It has been a long couple of days.  I have been traveling back and forth with several of our boys for various golf tournaments.  Packing and unpacking, gathering gatorades and snacks, obtaining directions (always essential for the directionally-challenged like me), and cramming in a few of those regular chores like laundry, errands, and cleaning before you head off again  It all leaves you worn pretty thin.  Not to mention driving,  driving and more driving--up very early in the morning to get there on time and then back again in the afternoon, trying to stay alert behind the wheel and thinking about all the stuff that is not getting done at home... and then right back at it at the crack of dawn the following day.
     Add to all that the challenge that things aren't going so well for the boys on the golf course right at the moment, so they are feeling frustrated and discouraged.  In the interest of full disclosure, yours truly handles it far worse than the boys, for, to my shame,  I can lose all perspective and grow absurdly downhearted and sad for my children when things aren't going their way.
     We have also been praying and waiting for months for one of our daughter's to get a spot to do work crew for Young Life.  She has desperately hoped and desired to do this, but she has been on the "waiting list" since about February.  Just this week, we learned there's no spot for her.  She never got off the waiting list after all that waiting and hoping and praying.  By the way, doesn't the name "waiting list" just make you want to sigh deeply?  A "waiting list--two things I'm growing to despise!  "Waiting" makes you feel powerless and anxious.  And the word "lists?"-- makes me believe I'm peering into an abyss of never ending chores and minutia that need to be done right now.  But no sooner do you check one off the list before three more take it's place.
     Seriously, it is pathetic how quickly we (or I, anyway)  can throw away our joy and our hope on the altar of success and happiness for our children.  Truth be told, I would prefer that all my children make straight A's all through school (well, theoretically, it could happen), win every golf tournament they enter, have perfect, loving, supportive friendships, make every team they try out for and never sit on the bench, enjoy perfect health, never struggle with doubt or insecurity, always get off the waiting list, and have acne-free skin (seriously, a trial and a tribulation--what is the deal with acne, Lord?  Add that to roaches, mosquitos,  and stomach bugs as things I'd love to ask the Lord: what on earth?  I know there's a purpose, but for the life of me, I can figure out what it could possibly be.  Oops, I digress.)
     In other words, I want to raise perfect, happy, successful, carefree... but ultimately shallow, weak, boring, emotionally stunted young adults.  Because, honestly, if God answered my every shallow prayer for my children's health and success and happiness, there would be no room for character development, for strength-building through adversity, for holiness, for virtues like patience and compassion and gratitude.  We don't learn faith unless we learn to trust our Father even in the dark times, even when we cannot see the path ahead.  We don't learn compassion unless we ourselves have suffered.  We don't learn patience unless God calls us to wait on Him, to trust that He hears and has a plan and calls us to continue praying and waiting and trusting in the face of His delays.  We don't learn gratitude unless we know what it is to lack or to feel inadequate or unable.  We don't learn courage unless we experience real fear.  We don't learn to truly worship and glorify Him alone until He has revealed the sham and sorrow of all those sinful idols in our lives that do nothing but empty and enslave us.
     Lord forgive me for how quickly I default to savoring and seeking the things of this world--for myself and for my family.  Forgive me for loving and hoping for happiness and success more than I love and yearn for holiness and sufficiency in You and You alone.   You never disappoint, never fail, never lie, never prove inadequate, and never over-promise or under-deliver.   You are always always always infinitely beyond "more than enough."  Father, forgive me for forgetting.
     Help us to seek and love and trust You and Your will more than our own big shot ideas.  Help us to pray about everything, be anxious for nothing, and rejoice in everything. (Phil.4:6)  Imagine the difference in our lives, our witness and our soul-contentment and joy if we would stop merely quoting those words or putting them on a Facebook page or thinking about them every now and then and instead start putting them into practice?!
     Today, right now, here's the deal: pray--all, anxious--nothing, rejoice--everything.  Surely even I can remember that!  That would take care of all our misplaced perspectives and sinful attitudes and enable us to love, guide, and pray for our children in ways that will lead to their Christ-likeness rather than world-likeness.
     So, Lord, today, "Your will be done," in my family's lives, in my friends' lives, in every square foot of this universe... for every single inch of it belongs to You.  Help us to pray about all, be anxious about nothing, and rejoice in everything.  And trust that Your plans and Your ways--and Your delays--are always for Your greater glory and our greater good.  To God, and God alone, be all the glory.

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