This is how my day began: I slept in--which means 4:25 for me. I ambled into the kitchen dreaming of hot tea and quiet with Moses by my feet as I would begin work on my next lecture--on prayer. But instead, I suddenly hear my cell phone ringing on the kitchen counter--a jarring sound at 4:25 a.m. I rush to answer it, and it's my daughter, Janie. She's upstairs, feeling sick... again.
So I take a deep breath, already realizing God has a different plan than mine for this sweet new dawn, and I trudge upstairs. I've noticed He has a way of doing this--but I'm also learning (albeit slowly) that our interruptions are His opportunities to fill in that newly emptied space with His grace... and grace beyond all reason.
Bless her heart. She has been awake since 2 a.m. unable to sleep with chills, a completely stuffed up nose and blocked sinuses (presumably another sinus infection), and a pounding headache. Discouraged by yet another bout of sickness: "Will I never be well again?" she cries to me. And my first thought is, "Seriously, Lord? Can you not give her a break here? Again? Sick again?" She has already been through 3 or 4 rounds of antibiotics for the lung and sinus infections--which also compound the headaches--and it can be draining, to say the least.
But in His infinite grace, the Lord immediately checks my heart--and reminds me of His never ever ever failing faithfulness. Of His presence. Of His power. And of the extraordinary gift of the very thing we are studying next in Bible study--prayer. Right now--I can call upon the Almighty right here and right now, in this dark bedroom just as surely as in church or in a hospital or on a battlefield or by the side of the road... or knee-deep in laundry or mess or fear or helplessness. How could I have forgotten, even for a millisecond? Thank You, Jesus.
And so I prayed the prayer that never fails--help us Father. Knowing that God is the God who always finds a way even when there is no way. Knowing that He is with us and for us... now, in this very moment. We prayed for relief from the pain and for healing and for help, God's help.
When I finally trooped back downstairs after locating a new box of Kleenex and advil and hot tea, I open my Daily Light and read today's verses:"O my God, my soul is cast down within me."(Ps.42:6) Yep, I get that one. And "You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You. Trust in the Lord forever, for in YAH, the Lord, is everlasting strength." (Isa.26:3-4) Yes, Lord, thank You that I can fix my mind upon You in the midst of altered plans and disruptive moments. Then "Cast your burden on the Lord, and He shall sustain you." (Ps.55:22) Gee whiz Lord, well thank You and here's the burden. I'm giving it to You, because I know You've totally got it.
And "He has not despised nor abhorred the affliction of the afflicted; nor has He hidden His face from Him; but when He cried to Him, He heard."(Ps.22:24) Are you believing this, I want to shout to the listening stars?! What a God we serve--and He hears the cries of His weakest, most undeserving children. Then "Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray." (James 5:13) What can I say? Praying, listening, filling, overflowing while I still stand in the kitchen, slack-jawed with wonder at our Sovereign Savior who hears and knows and loves and answers even before we ask. And "Let now your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." (John 14:7) Okay, Lord, now You're just showing off.
In You, in You alone I put my trust. And with our God, we can rise to fight another day. Yes, sick again. But yes, mercy again. Yes, grace again. Yes, love again. Yes, strength again. With the eternally great and always present, I AM, it's always again and again and again... all the way till we meet Him face to face.
And so I just keep talking with Him, thanking Him, but asking for continued help and wisdom and strength while I go to tear off the page on our little daily calendar of quotes on the kitchen counter. Sometimes the quotes are pretty crummy. But here was today's: "We fight, get beat, rise, and fight again." Nathanael Greene, American Revolutionary. O my stars! I stammer to Peter later this morning--do you know who he is? That's who Greensboro (my hometown) is named for since he fought a decisive battle in Greensboro. He didn't really win that skirmish, but he slowed the British down enough and wore them down, so that they surrendered shortly thereafter at Yorktown.
That was the story of the Revolutionary War--lose, but get back up again... only to lose again and again. Losing all those battles... and all the while God was working to win the ultimate war.
So now, I'm just living in the surfeit of His grace and goodness and glory. We're heading to the Doctor's now (God bless Dr. Jeffers and Dr. Mann and Dr. Wooten and Dr.Jones and Dr. Tucci and Dr. Ewend! Thank You Jesus!), but I know "Who goes before me, I know who stands behind, the God of angel armies is always by my side. The One who reigns forever, He is a friend of mine. The God of angel armies is always by my side" (one of my favorite songs by Chris Tomlin).
Whatever you're facing right now, He's right there with you. He hears. He loves. He answers. He's working and moving and His perfect plans will never be thwarted. "Look to Me, and be saved, all you ends of the earth! For I am God, and there is no other." (Isa.45:22)
Yes, He is and always always will be--again and again and again. To God be the glory.
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