I do not know what is going on with my computer! Or is it our internet? sigh. Once again, somehow things I've written and think I've posted don't appear on the blog. What's up with that? Something or other is wrong, but I could just as well fly to Mars as figure out what it is and what on earth to do about it.
Can I just say the technology world leaves me perplexed and befuddled... and, well, inadequate. I simply do not understand how it works or what to do when it doesn't work. My computer skills are abysmal... sort of like my directional abilities. The Lord somehow or other determined I would not need the gene that enables me to read a map, find my way around anywhere, or if I did somehow figure it out, would not remember it the next time. He's blessed me with a husband who does, thank the Lord, but that's no help when you're driving in the middle of nowhere by yourself and your cell phone refuses to cooperate.
Okay, I'm being negative, but it's just been one of those days. Or weeks. Nothing horrible, not at all, but just some of those little minor defeats or tiny setbacks in life that can tempt you to look at yourself and say, "What on earth? Will you never learn?" You know, it's things like opening that drawer and thinking, "O brother. I cannot believe I still have not cleaned that out! and that closet. and that freezer. and that attic... and, O gracious, I should have been helping my son study for his test rather than working on my lecture... what a terrible mom... and speaking of, there's way too much junk food in this house.... boy, I wish I were a better cook... and organizer... " And so it goes and goes ever deeper.
Our minds can spiral downward in a heartbeat when we are focused upon, what else but "me, myself, and I."
Mother Teresa once said, "All our troubles come from looking around rather than up." So true, for we can be so stinking earth-bound, can't we? So wedded to the things and standards of this world that all we can see are the multiple ways our lives are not quite measuring up.
Forgive us, Father. Forgive me, Your so very forgetful child. When we stare insistently around rather than up, our vision inevitably grows selfishly myopic.
And we miss the innumerable evidences of the extravagant love and grace of our Lord. We forget the comfort and joy and wisdom of His Word that sustains and strengthens even amidst the messiness of life. We forget His love as poured out upon us not only in the Person of our Savior but also in the people He's placed in our lives. Sure, those people can add to the mess sometimes--but that pales in comparison to the joy! We forget the gift His Holy Spirit--O my. Always with us, teaching us, leading us, convicting us, encouraging us, helping us. And we forget the privilege of prayer--to be able to talk it all out with the God of the universe, anytime, anywhere.
And then, of course, there are His common, daily blessings... sweet, old Moses snoring at my feet right now. The sound of the frigid, rushing wind outside--while I'm happily ensconced inside with a hot mug of tea. And the promise of spring just around the corner (or maybe a few corners). And that relentlessly blooming camellia even amidst these cold gales. And the gift of having children home from college or work for a few days. And chatting with friends. And watching a city league basketball game--the fun of cheering loud and laughing long with the other parents. And seeing the hawk soar above the tall pine trees.
Or chocolate. There's always chocolate.
And there's the never ending wonder of grace. The grace of an Almighty Lord who knew we would forget Him sometimes and fail Him sometimes... but who adores us anyway and sent His Son on the ultimate rescue mission of redemption... O the glorious cross!
When we see the cross, we see nothing but love and grace and glory. And suddenly looking around loses it's suffocating grip while looking up brings nothing but overwhelming gratitude. And joy. True, abiding, deep joy, not the world's pseudo-joy.
So, I may never figure out technology or directions or gourmet cooking. Organizational nirvana may never grace our home... but I pray that His glorious grace will. And His infinite love. And His true joy. And His perfect peace.
For that will be way more than enough. In fact, that will be heaven on earth.
Thank You, Lord Jesus, for raising my gaze and restoring my joy in You. Keep us looking up rather than around. To God be the glory.
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