“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.” C.S.Lewis
As my daddy used to say, "We're going through a rough patch."
I take it on faith that we will come out the other side. But right at the moment, it's feeling like a brutally, long, rough field...not a patch.
Still awaiting word on the team in Kenya after their car accident. Boy, that has brought up a lot of memories with Janie and the other girls in the wreck--feelings of sorrow, stress and helplessness.
And now our sweet old black lab, Moses, is dying. It happened so quickly--he just started going downhill suddenly late last night, and this morning he could no longer stand up. So we are hanging out with him, loving him, stroking him, and telling him over and over what a great gift he has been to our family.
And he has.
From Christmas day 8 years ago when we adopted him as a 5 year old, to this moment right now, Moses has truly been God's perfect blessing for our family. When times were tough, when any of the children came home discouraged or sad in any way, there he was. Ready to give them his complete time and attention and adoration. Somehow, whatever any of us might have been going through was eased when Moses gave us the gift of his presence.
When Janie came home from the hospital--there he sat. Right at her feet. Ever attentive. Just quietly being there. Loving without words. No words were necessary.
When they kids were upstairs in the morning, he would faithfully wait at the bottom of the stairs. Ready to be the first happy face to welcome them to a new day.
When food appeared in any form--there he was. Ready to oblige by nabbing a bite...or even a whole cake off the counter.
When I would work on Bible study lectures, he sat faithfully at my feet in the dining room. His only movement occasioned by the shifting of the sun on the carpet.
We have wept copious tears this morning. Hard to believe a dog could give a family this much joy...and this much sorrow. O how we will miss him. O my, words can't even express.
Even now, he is trying, struggling, so hard to hang in there for us. We keep telling him, it's okay, he can go on home now. I say it with my lips, but I don't really mean it in my heart.
But my husband just shared again that wonderful quote by Dr. Suess: "Don't cry that it's over, smile because it happened."
Yes, Lord, thank You, thank You, thank You for one more precious gift You have given us in this life--Moses. We will never ever forget him. And now, Father, give us the strength to bear his parting in the next few hours. Thank You that even with beloved pets, You never leave us nor forsake us.
Thank You for the gift of loving...even when it hurts. Help us to love and love and love no matter the risk of sorrow and separation.
It's all worth it...so worth it. We trust that the Lord will one day soon enable us to remember Moses and smile with gratitude rather than weep with sadness. But not yet. So until then, we'll take it on faith and simply say thank You. 'Cause our God is forever a God of redemption.
To God be the glory.
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