As I happily sit here in our dry living room, the rain quite literally pours down in heavy waves. In fact, I just received a text alert on my phone warning of flash floods. Oh Father, please protect everyone this day from any flood waters.
But here's what I'm thinking about: as we followed Richard playing golf this morning, I was dealing with my usual ridiculous case of nerves. I'm generally an internal wreck out there--alternately praying, fretting, and employing lamaze breathing techniques to try not to throw up or hyperventilate. Yes, absurd. I admit this to my utter shame. After all, this is a silly game, not terminal cancer or world war or flesh-eating bacteria. sigh.
Thankfully, the Lord continues to work on me...and there's definitely progress on the horizon in the art of maintaining a thankful and proper perspective in the midst of golf's--and life's--ups and downs. Aren't you grateful God never gives up on us? Aren't you glad He isn't through with us yet? I sure am.
And here's how He gently reminded and redirected me today--through the wonderful ECU golf coach. Yes, ever since Janie's accident and the terrific care she received at the ECU hospital, we have been ECU fans. Go Pirates! At one point early on while Janie was still unconscious in the ICU, the ECU golf coach and George Kilgore (a friend who plays on their team) came to the hospital to pray with us over Janie. A dear gift we'll never forget.
But as the coach and I walked along, he mentioned my blog and spoke of one in particular. It was in the early days after the accident, in the middle of the night, while I was sitting alone with Janie and wrote about the Lion of Judah...how I could feel His presence...how I could hear Him roar. I sometimes still hear the echo of that roar.
As this kind golf coach spoke, it all took me back immediately to that moment. I could hear the beeping and buzzing of monitors. I could see the gleam of the moon out that little window overlooking the back parking lot. I could feel, once more, the enveloping, strengthening powerful presence of the Savior--the mighty Lion of Judah in that very room with us. A time when I knew that no matter how it looked or felt, we were absolutely not alone. Not for a moment.
It all washed over me once again, and then gratitude flooded my heart. Thankfulness for saving Janie. Thanksgiving for never abandoning us. Rejoicing over His amazing grace and extravagant goodness and forever faithfulness.
And then suddenly, in a moment, I was back again. Walking along a golf course on a cloudy spring day. Watching a child that I love. Walking with my dear husband and wonderful friend, Steve Smith. Enjoying the fresh air and freedom.
All grace, grace, and more grace. How on earth could I have been fretting over a golf shot? Seriously? Was my memory really that short? Oh forgive me, Lord Jesus.
Thank You for not just saving Janie...but for saving us from sin and death and destruction. Saving us from the wrath we deserve...and giving us the glorious grace we could never ever earn or deserve. Oh might our lives be one gigantic thank You for all You are, for all that You have done, and for all that You will do in the future.
Funny, but I read these words from the book, A Gospel Primer, early this morning (before all this happened--isn't God something?!) and immediately thought of them again. This is long, but powerful:
"Viewing life's blessings as water in a drinking cup, I know that I could discontentedly focus on the half of the cup that seems empty, or I could gratefully focus on the half that is full. Certainly, the latter approach is the better of the two, yet the gospel cultivates within me a richer gratitude than this.
The gospel reminds me first that what I actually deserve from God is a full cup churning with the torments of His wrath. This is the cup that would be mine to drink if I were given what I deserve each day. With this understanding in mind, I see that to be handed a completely empty cup from God would be cause enough for infinite gratitude. If there were merely the tiniest drop of blessing contained in that otherwise empty cup, I should be blown away by the unbelievable kindness of God toward me. That God, in fact, has given me a cup that is full of 'every spiritual blessing in Christ,' and this without the slightest admixture of wrath, leaves me dumbfounded with inexpressible joy.
...When I look at any circumstance that God apportions me, I am first grateful for the wrath I am not receiving in that moment (The empty cup never looked so good!). Second, I am grateful for the blessings that are given to me instead of His wrath. (Life's blessings, however small, always appear exceedingly precious when viewed against the backdrop of the wrath I deserve). This two-layered gratitude disposes my heart to give thanks in all things and it also lends a certain intensity to my giving of thanks."
Amen! Thank You Father! Thank You for sending Jesus, our Savior. Thank You for Your mercy. Thank You for Your grace. Thank You for Your goodness. Thank You for Your gifts. And thank You for the gentle reminder that all of life should be our grateful response of "Thank You!" and "Yes!" to our generous, glorious God.
To God--our Lion of Judah--be all the glory.
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