Spy Wednesday

        Spy Wednesday.
        That's the name often given to refer to this day in Holy Week, this holiest of weeks leading up to Jesus' death and resurrection.  Spy Wednesday rests smack dab in the middle of an extraordinarily eventful week.  Jesus' triumphal entry into Jerusalem on Sunday...then His dramatic temple cleansing on Monday, followed by all His controversies with the religious leaders on Tuesday.
        And then we come to Wednesday.  Often today we hear Wednesdays referred to as "Hump Day"--as in we're halfway done with the work week.  (Which, if you think about it, is a mighty poor, pathetic way to think about our days and our weeks.  Each day is a never-to-be-repeated-or-replaced gift of 24 hours. We'll never get this particular Wednesday back...or this Tuesday...or this Thursday.  Each day is a gift to be savored--even when they are hard--not a trial to be endured, simply trying to survive until the weekend.  But I digress...)
        This, however, is no ordinary Wednesday.  After all the noisy events of the previous few days, this particular Spy Wednesday seemed quiet and uneventful...but it was anything but.  For this Spy Wednesday marks the turning point, indeed, the point of no return, as Judas sneaks off to the chief priests in order to betray Jesus for money.  Think of it--betray His Maker, His Sustainer, His God, His Redeemer, His Lord for thirty stinking pieces of silver...the price for a mere slave.
         How can this be?  On so many, many levels, how on earth can Judas possibly even consider doing such an unimaginably horrific thing?  
         One possible answer comes in the verses in Mark 14 that immediately precede the account of Judas going to the chief priests to betray Jesus.  It's an event we're all familiar with--while Jesus and His disciples recline at the table of Simon the leper, a woman enters.  We know from the other gospels that this is Mary, Simon's sister.  And we're told in Mark 14:3 that she "came with an alabaster flask of ointment of pure nard, very costly, and she broke the flask and poured it over His head."                  
         What's the response of those seated at the table?  Well, "There were some [actually meaning specifically Judas] who said to themselves indignantly, 'Why was the ointment wasted like that?  For this ointment could have been sold for more than three hundred denarii and given to the poor.  And they scolded her." (Mark 14:4-5)
        Jesus, on the other hand, commends her, for He alone knows the heart of all men.  The Lord Jesus recognizes that Mary is adoring and worshipping Him in the best way she knows how (as well as symbolically anointing Him for burial) whereas Judas has a heart fixed only upon financial gain. Sure, Judas may claim a concern for the poor, but we know that ultimately, his twisted heart has been captured by an insatiable desire for more money and the things of this world.  He might act like his concern is the poor...but his real concern, his real focus, his real love, is himself and his desires.
        Mary worships;  Judas withholds.  Mary shares;  Judas shamefully calculates.  Mary ministers; Judas manipulates.  Mary loves with all her heart;  Judas leaves, withholding his love and tragically losing his heart and ultimately his very soul.
       As Johnathon Bowers writes, "the irony of Mark 14 is that Judas could see the value of the ointment rolling down Jesus' head, but he couldn't see the value of Jesus.  He was a pawnbroker with cataracts.  That's why he took such offense at the woman.  The woman, on the other hand, could see both the value of the ointment and the value of Jesus.  That's why she broke the flask."
       Oh my, I had to ask myself, which one represents me?  What am I seeing?  What am I loving?  What am I truly worshipping?  What seeking above all else?  
        Am I, are you, more like Mary or more like Judas when it comes to our heart's focus, our heart's love?  
       Don't you wonder: where and when did this love of money, this overweening greed, begin to take root in Judas' heart?  As we know with any great downfall, the seeds were sown much, much earlier.  No one falls to some grievous sin in one moment.  No, no, it's been bit by bit.  Tiny downward step by tiny downward step.  A little offense here, a little offense there.  A wink at some "minor" little sin....that slowly, quietly, inexorably grows and grows.  Until before we know it, we are captured and mired by some enslaving sin or habit or addiction or stronghold.    
       Oh how this has convicted me on this quiet Spy Wednesday.  Show me, Lord, where I'm blind to the sinfulness, the selfishness lurking in my heart.  My "little" sins of omission or commission.  My failure to love my Savior with all my heart.  My failure to love others unselfishly and unconditionally.  Forgive me, Father, and cleanse me.  Don't let me slowly "slip" into deeper and graver sin and selfishness.  
       But, on the other hand, there's also much to encourage us all from the example of Mary!  Those who have been forgiven much, love much.  And we--every single one of us--have been forgiven so infinitely much!  Not just our selfishness and pride, but our ingratitude, our worry, our lust, our greed, our jealousy, our complaining, our envy, our gossip...and ultimately our completely missing the mark of truly loving God and loving others.
        We have been forgiven such a gigantic, such an infinitely ginormous amount!   So shouldn't we--like Mary--love greatly, enormously, thankfully?  Shouldn't this Spy Wednesday remind us all that though we all often act like Judas, Jesus loved us so much that He died to save us and give us eternal life?  When we remember that, we cannot help but extravagantly love and worship our Savior.
        Oh Jesus, this Easter, we want to see You...see You far more than all the things and stuff and desires and flotsam that tends to highjack our time and attention and heart.  Like Mary, might we see, love, and worship Jesus with abandon, with generosity, with joy, and with overwhelming gratitude.
        To God be the glory.