Remembering...again!

Just some very brief ramblings: I am struck anew by the importance of remembering. I have been so convicted about daily speaking "what is" rather than "what if." But I need to remember "what is!" And we (or at least I) are so prone to amnesia when it comes to God's faithfulness! I can read my Bible in the morning, but come late afternoon when my schedule goes crazy and one of my teenagers displays very unbecoming ingratitude (a nice way to put it!) and my nerves start to fray... I simply forget what and who my Almighty God is. I view everything through lenses of doubt and irritation and shortsighted selfishness. I need to put on those 100 year glasses and remember Who is in control, how important this "crisis" will be 100 years from now, and what God wants to teach me and my loved ones through this. I tend to get focused on "why" rather than "who," "how," and "what." I forget to pray rather than plot. I forget to worship rather than worry. I forget to choose faith and trust rather than strain and anxiety.

I am trying to read the Bible in 90 days this summer. So far, I am hanging in there (barely), and it's been great. But recently I've been reading about the Israelites wandering through the desert after Moses led them out of slavery in Egypt. How striking is their spiritual amnesia! God miraculously delivers them from slavery in Egypt, and a few days later the appearance of the Egyptian army terrifies them and causes them to look back with laughable longing at the good old days of slavery and deprivation. God parts the Red Sea and the next minute they are whining and complaining about the lack of water. God sends manna every morning to provide for their sustenance, and they start complaining about the lack of variety in their diets.

When you read so many chapters in one day, the juxtaposition of God's faithfulness and the Israelites grumbling, complaining, and doubting is really startling. How on earth could they forget God's goodness to them so quickly? How could they forget the miraculous ways He has moved in their lives over and over again? How could they be so ungrateful and untrusting? What is wrong with those people that every little setback that comes along seems to cause them to forget everything they should know about who God is and what He has done and what He can do?!

And here I am, sitting in a comfortable house I did not build, typing on a computer I did not make, using fingers and a mind I did not create, writing about family and friends I do not deserve, and relying on grace I could never earn. God has shown His faithfulness to me and those I love in myriad ways. And yet how quickly I forget! I start complaining and worrying and griping just like the Israelites. Reminds me of the time a London newspaper asked G.K. Chesterton what was the problem with the world. "I am," he responded. Amen to that!

So right now I am choosing to remember and to be thankful. My oldest son graduated from High School today. Last night I felt such sadness that neither of my parents were alive to see him graduate. These big events in my children's lives always seem to make me feel their loss more keenly. As I looked at his purple graduation robe, the reality that our children are growing up and moving out and that life is changing (and I don't like change) really hit me hard. How easily we can slide into "the slough of despond" when we start focusing on what we are losing, what we lack, what we have that we don't want or want that we don't have.

But I have to keep learning the lesson that when God is in the equation, everything changes! I have to focus on "what is" rather than "what if." I have to keep remembering God's faithfulness and power and greatness and goodness. I choose to thank the Lord for allowing my son to graduate and move on rather than focus on my own little selfish point of view that he is leaving our home and I will miss him. Boy, when I get all wrapped up in myself, I make a mighty small package! But when I look up rather than around or in, the view is so expansive, so breathtaking. So today, I choose, again, to remember and to be thankful and to give Him all the glory!