Come to His Word

The other day I read something by John Piper that really resonated with me. He talked of waking up some mornings "feeling fragile. Vulnerable. It's often vague. No single threat. No one weakness. Just an amorphous sense that something is going to go wrong and I will be responsible. It's usually after a lot of criticism." I can relate, as I'm sure many of us can. But for me, the fragility translates into more of a sense of discouragement, of recognizing how consistently I seem to miss the mark in so many areas of my life: not a good enough mother or wife or sister or friend; not a good enough cook or organizer (there's that dreadful clutter again) or volunteer or Christian or... just fill in the blank. It's funny how often these times of discouragement or that vague sense of fragility or vulnerability can follow times of blessing or victory: a wonderful visit with all the children home and then when they leave, discouragement can set in. Accomplishing something good or big or necessary and then, seemingly, out of nowhere that vague sense of defeat.

The causes vary wildly, but that feeling of fragility or disappointment or discouragement steals our joy, our peace, our hope. But I love Piper's comment on how God has graciously dealt with his fragility over the years: "By desperate prayer and particular promises. I agree with Spurgeon: I love the 'I wills' and the 'I shalls' of God. Instead of letting me sink into a paralysis of fear, or run into a mirage of greener grass, He has awakened a cry for help and then answered with a concrete promise."

Amen! How I thank and praise God for His Word that is filled with so many glorious "I wills" and "I shalls!" (More on this in a later blog). There have been so many times when I would open His Word after struggling with my inadequacies, and there is a magnificent promise from my Omnipotent Lord, reminding me that I am inadequate, but He is not. I am weak, but He is strong. I am changeable and inconsistent, but He is changeless and eternal. I am sinful, but He is holy and clothes me with His robes of righteousness. I am anxious and fretful, but He is the Prince of Peace. I am disordered, but He is perfect order. I am always running behind, but He is always right on time, infinitely and always the eternal "I Am." I am critical and unkind, but He is Grace, amazing Grace. I am empty and discontent, but in Him is fullness of joy. I am thirsty, but from Him flow endless springs of life giving water. And He tells me again and again and again in His Word of His love, His grace, His forgiveness, His joy, His peace, His power, His endless and perfect provision.

I couldn't help but think of one of my very favorite quotes from Tim Keller: "We are more sinful than we ever imagined, but we are more loved than we ever dreamed." Isn't that the message behind His Word? Every time we come to Him in His Word, we come empty and defeated and discouraged. And He tells us of His love and grace and power and provision. We come hungry, and we leave abundantly full and satisfied. We come discouraged, and we leave encouraged. We come defeated, and we leave confident in His ultimate victory.

Thank You Lord for Your Word and for never ever leaving us mired in our fragility and fear and failure. Thank You that when we come in our emptiness and desperation, You always fill us and strengthen us and love us. Right where we are. Right as we are. In the words of John Piper: "Cry out to Him. Then ransack the Bible for His appointed promise. We are fragile. But He is not." To our Almighty, all powerful, all sufficient Savior, be the glory.