A sweet friend and I were chatting this morning about the tongue--she has been studying the book of James in Bible study, and good old James (and the Lord) clearly do not let us off the hook when it comes to the use of our tongues. And we're not talking about licking chocolate ice cream cones or savoring the last little bit of caramel cake left on the plate. Clearly, those are sanctified, God-applauded uses of the tongue. I mean, duh, that's why God gave us tongues: for caramel cake and chocolate in all it's beautiful, glorious forms.
No, I'm referring to the way we (or at least I) tend to misuse or overuse our tongues... talking, talking, talking. As in, leave no blank space left unfilled; no, we need chatter, because, gracious, that would be absolutely horrible and uncomfortable and terrible to have, dare I say it?... silence!
Moreover, this is not actually a big issue for say, all the men in our family. They could go for miles, maybe hours, sitting in the car listening to music without uttering a word. Completely inexplicable and one of life's great mysteries.
One of our sons is particularly reserved, when it comes to words. Yours truly drives him crazy, because when he is sitting pensively--and seemingly happy to do so--I pepper him with questions like "What's wrong?" "What''s bothering you?" "You are so quiet--is something bothering you?" The frustrated response is always, "No! I'm just being quiet. Nothing is bothering me! Why do you always ask me that?!" Well, by then something is bugging him--his mother! Sigh. What can I say, I'm an incredibly slow learner in this department--probably largely because I'm a woman, and we generally operate under the theory: so little time... so much that can be said. (Boy, I really hope my husband isn't reading this.)
Lord, what's up with all this? Just wondering why You made men and women so radically different in this particular area. This will be one of the many fun topics to discuss in heaven... assuming there are plenty of women up there to actually talk out loud about it. It's so great our Father made us each uniquely different--what a boring world this would be without the infinite variety. Still, I'm just saying... okay, I won't say it. See I can be quiet with the best of them!
Okay, not really.
But my point... finally... after this copious number of words... is that our Lord urges us repeatedly to guard our tongues. About 50% of the book of Proverbs (okay, I tend to exaggerate--but it's a lot) seems to consist of instructions and warnings about the use of our tongues. Every time I read Proverbs or James, the Lord seems to step on my toes, convicting me of how and where and when I use my tongue.
Just one, for example, from James 3:10-12 "From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water."
Yep, jostle a full cup, and what comes out? When the world uncomfortably pushes us around a bit, what spills out of our mouths? "Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks." (Lk 6:45)
O Lord, how I pray that my tongue would be used to bless and encourage others as well as to pour forth Your praise... and never used to gossip or demean or belittle in any way. Or to complain. How I hate that quick tendency to see the proverbial glass half empty rather than full. To focus on the faults of others rather than the fullness of God's grace and mercy. To focus on what little we lack rather than the plethora of all we possess.
Shut our mouths, Lord, when gripping words threaten to spill out, and enable us instead, by the power of Your Holy Spirit, to speak words of hope, healing, and help. Control our tongues, Father, for Your glory.
And might we listen far more and speak far less. James urges us "let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger." (James 1:19) Clearly, if I would just listen more--both to God and to others--I would be far less prone to babble. And that means listening with our hearts and not just our ears. Believe me, there's a big difference. How often have I done that with those dearest to me? Listen with my ears but totally check out with my heart and inwardly retrieve and review my to do list. Forgive me, Lord.
O for pete's sake, look how long I've blabbed on about this! Mercy. But just wanted to close with a quote from James McDonald that really made me think: "I am the master of my unspoken words but the slave of those that should have remained unsaid."
Just about says it all, doesn't it? Help us, Lord, to harness the power of our tongues, all for Your glory, all by Your grace. To God, the Giver of all good gifts and our perfect Master, be the glory.
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