And call me please 'cause I can't find my phone
This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff that's getting to me lately
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
But I've gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
Might not be what I would choose
But this the stuff You use
45 in a 35 sirens and fines
While I'm running behind
This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff that's getting to me lately
In the middle of my little mess,
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
But I've gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
Might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use
So break me of impatience
Conquer my frustrations
I've got a new appreciation
It's not the end of the world
My new theme song--ahh yes, Franesca Battistelli just didn't realize it, but she wrote this song about me. So far today, I've LOST my car keys, my cell phone (always great when your daughter is calling you from school--only 12 missed calls), my Bible study notebook (full blown panic attack over that one), and even an extremely heavy wheelchair.
How, you wonder, does one lose a wheelchair? Well, we parked the car in the parking lot for physical therapy, I hauled said wheelchair out of the back of the car, run around to help Janie, and she looks at me and asks, "Mom, I need the wheelchair."
Well, of course you do, and here it is in the back of the... uh, did I forget to bring it? No, I must have brought it since I just picked you up from school in your wheelchair. Wait, I could have sworn I just heaved it out of the car, but where is it? NOW I'VE LOST THE WHEELCHAIR!!
Somebody just commit me right now! What are we going to do? "I guess you can just hop around for a day or two, or maybe crawl on your right side. How about that? Would that work until we can find another one?"
O my stars, I cannot keep up with anything, I'm losing my mind, what on earth.... ah, what's that at the far end of the parking lot? Glory, it's the wheelchair! It must have rolled all the way down the parking lot--and managed not to hit a single car! What a daring, smart, courageous, persevering wheelchair! I'm thinking we might need to name Janie's wheelchair. Maybe something like "Wallace" from the movie "Braveheart." Or "Gladiator" from the movie with Russell Crowe. Come to think of it, we could just name it "Russell," since Russell Crowe is gonna be in the movie "Les Miserables."
Speaking of Les Miserables, that reminds me that I FORGOT Peter's lunch... again, and he will be miserable. And it also makes me miserable that I forgot to email my children's teachers, since I missed open house night. Teachers... preachers... I really really need to start working on a Bible study lecture for next week. Study--boy, Lord, please help Preyer with his math test today. And Peter's quiz on friday in...what was it in? Well, You know, Lord. Help him in whatever it is in. In, in... did I leave the dog in the kitchen? I think I forgot to let him go outside before we rushed off to school. School, what time is Janie's next class and do we have time to run by the house to get her lunch since she is supposed to eat every two hours. Two hours... O no, do we have time to drop off Preyer's golf stuff before school lets out. Out, out... we are out of luck since I forgot to take the handicapped sticker out of my car when we took it to the shop to get fixed. Fixed.... affixed, where did we put the foot rest that is affixed to Janie's wheelchair... O no, we left it at home! Home, home... home is where the heart is. Lord, here's my frazzled heart--help me to fix my heart upon You. Give me a steadfast heart even in the midst of a fractured, disjointed day.
Gee, I wonder why I'm losing everything since I seem to be so calm and focused?
Yep, we have got it all together around here, don't we? If I lose one more thing, I'm just gonna sit down and... well, maybe eat a whole lot of chocolate.
Or better yet, go to the Word. "And He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together." (Col. 1:17) Everything in the universe holds together in You, Lord. Wow, thank You Father--I may be in a million pieces, but You are not and You've got it all under control!
"If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God." (Col.3:1-2) Whew, thank You for the reminder, Lord. The old Emily is dead, and my life right now is hidden with Christ. He is my Peace in the midst of an out of control day. He puts all the pieces of my life back together when everything is falling apart. He has found me and holds me, even when I can't seem to find anything! And He has given me the mind of Christ that enables me to seek the things above rather than focusing on debilitating or discouraging or demeaning thoughts.
And when it all falls apart, well, that's okay, because as the song goes, "this is the stuff You use." For our good and Your glory. All of it--big crises and little messes. So thank You Lord for the "stuff" of this world that You are using in our lives to make us more like Jesus. Now, where is that cell phone? To God be the glory.
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