The stuff He uses

I lost my keys in the great unknown
And call me please 'cause I can't find my phone

This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff that's getting to me lately 
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed 
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
But I've gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing 
Might not be what I would choose 
But this the stuff You use

45 in a 35 sirens and fines
While I'm running behind

This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff that's getting to me lately 
In the middle of my little mess,
I forget how big I'm blessed 
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
But I've gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing 
Might not be what I would choose 
But this is the stuff You use

So break me of impatience
Conquer my frustrations
I've got a new appreciation
It's not the end of the world

     My new theme song--ahh yes, Franesca Battistelli just didn't realize it, but she wrote this song about me.  So far today, I've LOST my car keys, my cell phone (always great when your daughter is calling you from school--only 12 missed calls), my Bible study notebook (full blown panic attack over that one),  and even an extremely heavy wheelchair.  

     How, you wonder, does one lose a wheelchair?  Well, we parked the car in the parking lot for physical therapy, I hauled said wheelchair out of the back of the car, run around to help Janie, and she looks at me and asks, "Mom, I need the wheelchair."  

     Well, of course you do, and here it is in the back of the... uh, did I forget to bring it?  No, I must have brought it since I just picked you up from school in your wheelchair.  Wait, I could have sworn I just heaved it out of the car, but where is it?  NOW I'VE LOST THE WHEELCHAIR!! 

     Somebody just commit me right now!  What are we going to do?  "I guess you can just hop around for a day or two, or maybe crawl on your right side.  How about that?  Would that work until we can find another one?" 

     O my stars, I cannot keep up with anything, I'm losing my mind, what on earth.... ah, what's that at the far end of the parking lot?  Glory, it's the wheelchair!  It must have rolled all the way down the parking lot--and managed not to hit a single car!  What a daring, smart, courageous, persevering wheelchair!  I'm thinking we might need to name Janie's wheelchair.  Maybe something like "Wallace" from the movie "Braveheart."  Or "Gladiator" from the movie with Russell Crowe.  Come to think of it, we could just name it  "Russell," since Russell Crowe is gonna be in the movie "Les Miserables."  

       Speaking of Les Miserables, that reminds me that I FORGOT Peter's lunch... again, and he will be miserable.  And it also makes me miserable that I forgot to email my children's teachers, since I missed open house night.  Teachers... preachers... I really really need to start working on a Bible study lecture for next week.  Study--boy, Lord, please help Preyer with his math test today.  And Peter's quiz on friday in...what was it in?  Well, You know, Lord.  Help him in whatever it is in.  In, in... did I leave the dog in the kitchen?  I think I forgot to let him go outside before we rushed off to school.  School, what time is Janie's next class and do we have time to run by the house to get her lunch since she is supposed to eat every two hours.  Two hours... O no, do we have time to drop off Preyer's golf stuff before school lets out.  Out, out... we are out of luck since I forgot to take the handicapped sticker out of my car when we took it to the shop to get fixed.  Fixed.... affixed, where did we put the foot rest that is affixed to Janie's wheelchair... O no, we left it at home!  Home, home... home is where the heart is.  Lord, here's my frazzled heart--help me to fix my heart upon You.  Give me a steadfast heart even in the midst of a fractured, disjointed day. 

      Gee,  I wonder why I'm losing everything since I seem to be so calm and focused?  

      Yep, we have got it all together around here, don't we?  If I lose one more thing, I'm just gonna sit down and... well, maybe eat a whole lot of chocolate.  

     Or better yet, go to the Word.  "And He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together." (Col. 1:17)   Everything in the universe holds together in You, Lord.  Wow, thank You Father--I may be in a million pieces, but You are not and You've got it all under control!

     "If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God.  Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.  For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God." (Col.3:1-2)  Whew, thank You for the reminder, Lord.  The old Emily is dead, and my life right now is hidden with Christ.  He is my Peace in the midst of an out of control day.  He puts all the pieces of my life back together when everything is falling apart.  He has found me and holds me, even when I can't seem to find anything!  And He has given me the mind of Christ that enables me to seek the things above rather than focusing on debilitating or discouraging or demeaning thoughts.  

     And when it all falls apart, well, that's okay, because as the song goes, "this is the stuff You use."  For our good and Your glory.  All of it--big crises and little messes.  So thank You Lord for the "stuff" of this world that You are using in our lives to make us more like Jesus.  Now, where is that cell phone?  To God be the glory.  

    

Our Peace and Overcomer

     "If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans."
     I have no earthly idea where or when I first heard that, but it came to my mind today, and I thought, "hmm, I'm just thinking God has had a good chuckle over my 'plans' only five and a half weeks ago."     Needless to day, these past weeks were nothing we could have possibly planned for or wanted or even imagined.  We just take so much for granted and live by faith in more ways than we can begin to realize.  
     We believe the sun will rise and set as always.  We make plans for tomorrow assuming we will be here and will enjoy continued good health and strength to carry out those plans.  We assume and believe we will see our loved ones again at the end of the day. We implicitly discount any possibility of accidents or disease or foul play when it comes to the lives of those close to us.  We believe we will always have more time to tell people we love them, to show them how much they mean to us, and to do whatever God may be prompting us to do... even if it is tomorrow or next week or next month.
     But I've learned none of us is guaranteed next year or next week or tomorrow or even the next hour.  We are not promised a lifetime free of struggle and strain--in fact we are assured just the opposite.  "In this world you will have trouble..." (John 16:33a)
     Yes, we will absolutely have trouble... but that's not the end of the story or the verse:
         "... But take heart, I have overcome the world." (John 16:33b)
     And earlier in the very same verse He tells us that "I have said these things to you, that in Me, you may have peace." (John 16:33, again!  What a verse!)
     What a promise, what a Promisor!  We will have trouble in this world.  But we need never be discouraged or distraught for our Savior has overcome the world and whatever might befall us in this world.  He is greater still than any crisis, any challenge, any disease, any accident, any evil, anything this world can throw at us or against us--He is not only greater, but He has already understood it, undertaken it, and overcome it.  And if He is with us and for us, then we too can withstand and persevere and overcome as well.
     And not only that, in the midst of it all, right in the middle of the fiercest storms, the most impossible problems, He has promised that He is our peace and will give us peace.  Like so many of His promises, I used to just read that and think, how nice, He is our peace.  But I never knew how inconceivably wonderful that could be until we endured a long, fierce storm.  The kind of storm that was utterly unexpected, unanticipated, unexplainable, unendurable... apart from the supernatural peace and presence of the Lord Jesus.
     But it was there!  Unbelievably, incredibly, His peace--the peace that truly, that literally, passes all understanding--was there.  We felt His peace.  We were sustained by His peace.  We were carried from day to day, hour to hour, by His peace.  And just as He overcame the cross, He overcame our fears and moments of despair every single time.  We would just keep handing the fear and sorrow and uncertainty over to Him, moment by moment.  Just as soon as we handed it to Him, He gave us His peace and His overcoming power and presence.
     That's not to say we didn't fear--we did.  Or that we didn't cry or experience great sorrow--we did.  But they didn't overwhelm or overcome us.  Never.  He was our Overcomer.  He was our Victor.  And in Him, we enjoyed His peace in the midst of the battle... the battle that He was waging and fighting and winning with us and for us.
      I say all this just to remind myself--HE IS ABLE!  See, sometimes I forget.  Sometimes I forget what it was to stand by the bedside of an unconscious child day after day with nothing but the Savior and His Word and His beautiful body of Christ to sustain us... and that was always always always enough.
     I forget about His grace.  I forget about His love. I forget about His power--available to each of us every hour of every day.  I forget in my busyness and preoccupation about how graciously and miraculously far He has brought us.  Like I said the other day, I tend to forget about our chains... and that because of Christ, our chains are gone.  So I start making my own plans, formulating my own agenda, all the time forgetting to seek His plan, His way for me this week, this day, this hour.  Forgive me Father.  Forgive me for always thinking my ways and plans and ideas are best.  When they aren't.  Never were.  Never will be.
      Thank You for Your promises, Lord.  Thank You for Your Word that reminds us of Your faithfulness and power to overcome.  And thank You that You don't just give us Your peace... You are our Peace.  And in You, we will overcome whatever the world may throw at us.  By the blood of the Lamb.  By the Word made flesh.  By the Prince of Peace.  By the Way, the Truth, and the Life--whose way is always the best.
      Help us to remember, Lord.  Thank You for overcoming for us and in us.  And thank You, our Peace.  To God be the glory.

(Jamie Grace, a great Christian singer, with the girls of OneVoice, just before her concert last night--this was their "silly" photo!)

You Lead, I'll follow, Your hands hold my tomorrow
Your grip, your grace, you know the way'
You guide me tenderly,
When You lead, I'll follow,
Just light the way and I'll go,
Cause I know what You've got for me is more than I can see,
So lead me on, on, on, and on,
Just lead me on, on, on, and on.

     That's the chorus to Jamie Grace's song, "You Lead."  If you've never heard it, well, it's a keeper!  We love it--and of course, we doubly love it since OneVoice (a wonderful singing group Janie is in) sings it and made a recording of it this summer.  Janie sang the solo for it, and when we listened to the recording of the song after the accident, we couldn't believe how the words ministered to and encouraged us.  As Janie lay unconscious, we listened to her singing, "I know You got me, I know You got me, Lead me on and on" and "Cause I know what You've got for me is more than I can see."  And listen to the words just in the first verse:

I've got waves that are tossing me,
Crashing all over my beliefs,
And in all sincerity, Lord,
I wanna be Yours,
So pull me out of this mess I'm in,
Cause I know I'm wanderin'
Lead my soul back home again,
I've always been yours.

     Isn't it funny the things God will use?  The wondrous "God-incidences" that He continually brings into our lives to remind us that He is there and active and moving even when we can see no obvious, visible evidence of Him.  Sometimes I think He just likes to go undercover.  God could just blow our socks off everyday!  It would be nothing to Him to paint across the sky or wow us with some supernatural, splashy evidence of His power.  But He usually chooses simpler, stealth means of interjecting Himself into our lives--these understated interjections of the Divinity might be quieter, but they are nonetheless miraculous evidences of a sovereign, omnipotent God who cares for each of us  individually and personally.
    He knows and cares when life weighs us down, and He sends a friend's encouragement or an email or a beautiful bird or a soaring song or a "God-incidence" that often hides as coincidence.  One of my favorite examples of this occurred at the wedding at Cana--Jesus' first miracle.  Jesus and a couple of His disciples went to a wedding, and His mother tells him they had run out of wine.   Now, if I had been the Savior of the world, my attitude might have been, "Seriously?!  Are you kidding?  I'm thinking about the eternal souls of people and salvation and sanctification and really important stuff, and you're telling me about the wine running out at a party?!  Get a life!" (Well, actually, He would be the One giving them Life).
     But praise God, that's not our Savior.  He cares about the smallest details of our lives.  He knows when we cry and when we're crushed.  He understands when we're exhausted and when we're exasperated.  He helps us whether we're discouraged or disillusioned.  He loves the humblest to the noblest to the greatest to the littlest.  And nothing is too small or menial or unimportant to take to Him.
     Jesus tells the servants at the party to fill the large stone jars used for purification with water.  After they filled them to the brim, He tells them "Now draw some out and take it to the master of the feast." (John 2:8)  And when they did, the water had not only been miraculously transformed into wine, it was the finest of wines.  Jesus doesn't do things halfway or halfheartedly!
      At the time, however, no one except the servants and Mary knew of what Jesus had done.  He quietly, stealthily, but miraculously transformed water into wine as well as potential humiliation by the hosts into perfect hospitality.  That's just how He works... then and now.
     So, this is all to say, that is how He has worked over and over again the past few weeks.  Only now we have eyes wide open and looking for His God-incidences, His quiet but powerful interjections into our lives.   And when you are on the look-out, you see evidence of His beautiful nail-scarred fingerprints all over your life.  Everywhere you look.
     And this song was just one more example.  Janie's singing group recorded this song at the very end of a recording session.  They hadn't planned to do it.  Hadn't rehearsed it.  Just did it in the last 20 minutes for fun.  No big deal. I'm sure they figured nothing would ever come of it.
    Or so they thought.  But God would use their little song to encourage and strengthen many of us throughout the long days and weeks when Janie lay unconscious in the hospital.  Many of her friends have listened to it multiple times.  And the words have just sung even in Janie's silence of a sovereign God who never lets us go, who is in control, and who will lead us even in the darkest places of our lives.
    Thank you, Jamie Grace, for singing to the glory of God.  Thank you for this little song, You Lead.  Thank you OneVoice for singing it so well.  But most of all, thank You Lord for never letting us go, for always leading us, and for continually interjecting Your loving, perfect, gracious, glorious self in our lives... even in the dark, even in the God-incidences of our daily lives.  Thank You that we are never apart from Your loving heart and Your all-knowing mind.  Help us to have eyes to see all the ways You enter into our world every single day.  Give us not just eyes to see but hearts to praise.
      Lord, You lead, we'll follow... all the way to the finish line.  To our sovereign God be all the glory.
   

Remember your chains

 
     Sometimes it's good to remember.  To remember your chains, as Stephen Curtis Chapman sang in one of my favorite songs.  It's worth reading his powerful lyrics:

I couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking
As he stared out the window to the sky
It seemed he was taking his last look at freedom
from the hopeless, longing look in his eyes
There were chains on his hands and on his feet
And as I passed him by the thought came to me

Remember your chains
Remember the prison that once held you
Before the love of God broke through
Remember the place you were without grace
When you see where you are now
Remember your chains
And remember your chains are gone.

There's no one more thankful to sit at the table
Than the one who best remembers hunger's pain
And no heart loves greater than the one that is able
To recall the time when all it knew was shame
The wings of forgiveness can take us to heights never seen
But the wisest ones, they will never lose sight of where they were set free
Love set them free

So remember your chains
Remember the prison that once held you
Before the love of God broke through
Remember the place you were without grace
When you see where you are now
Remember your chains
And remember your chains are gone

     We forget so quickly, don't we?  We forget what we truly deserved because of our sin and rebellion and selfishness.  We forget the hopelessness.  We forget the fear that could consume and the sorrow that could overwhelm.  And most of all, we forget what it was to be a prisoner to sin and death, enslaved to ourselves and our pride.
     We forget all that Christ saved us from and all He saved us to.  He saved us from that feeling of emptiness and hunger--for He is the Bread of Life that always feeds and satisfies the deepest longings of the human heart.  From emptiness to fullness.  He saved us from the desperate thirst for satisfaction and joy that we could never seem to fulfill--for He is the Living Water that fills us to overflowing with His living, joyful Spirit.  From the exhaustion of unmet desires to continual filling by His springs of water that run dry.   He saved us from the crippling constriction of worry and fear--for He is our Peace and is the Prince of Peace.  From worry to peace.
     He saved us from despair and hopelessness in all the dead-end places of our lives--for He is the Door to eternal life and abundant life and hope.  From despair to new hope.  He saved us from loneliness--for He is the Good Shepherd who knows and loves His sheep and calls us each by name. From loneliness to never alone.  He saved us confusion and doubt in a world of darkness and uncertainty--for He is the Light of the Word.  With Him we need never walk in darkness.  From darkness to Light.
      And He saved us from guilt and shame and an eternity apart from Him--for He is the Resurrection and the Life.  "Whoever believes in Me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in Me shall never die.  Do you believe this?" (John 11:25-26)   Yes, Lord, we believe, is our heart's cry. How I pray it is yours.
     From hopelessness to hope.  From purposelessness to purpose.  From despair to joy.  From blindness to sight.  From hunger and thirst to satisfaction.  From fear and worry to peace.  From pride to happy humility.  From brokenness to wholeness.  From death to life.  From chains to freedom.
     And from sickness to health.  From coma to laughter with friends.  From ICU to a football game at UNC (where Tessa and Janie are right now, praise God!).  From breathing only with the help of a machine to taking deep, full breaths in the fresh autumn air.  From holding a quiet vigil by our still child's bedside to laughing at the weight of her wheelchair as we hoist it into the car.  From looking at the sky from the small window of a hospital room to walking outside and rejoicing in the inky night sky dotted with sparkling pinpricks of starlight.  From worrying about lung infections to worrying about possible homework assignments.  From watching our child fed by a feeding to tube to enjoying a hot meal of pasta (and, of course, cake!) cooked by a dear friend, all sitting together at our kitchen table.  From wiping her fevered, motionless brow to running to get her favorite face wash so she can wash her face and brush her teeth.  So many everyday blessings!  So many stones rolled away!  So many chains removed--O might we never take for granted even one blessing of freedom.  Freedom--it comes in all shapes and sizes, but it is always beautiful!
     We will not forget the chains.  For we know who removed the chains and rolled away the stone for our Janie.  And we will thank the Lord to the day we die for His wondrous healing power.
     But might we all rejoice and never forget the far greater, more glorious, more joyous, and utterly undeserved miracle: that our own chains of sin and death were removed forever by our Savior at the cross on Calvary.  And if those chains still bind you, know that Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life--He is the Way to freedom.  He is ready and willing and able to remove the chains of sin of ALL who call on Him by faith.  Today can be your day of true freedom.                    
     Might we live each day remembering our chains... and then rejoicing that our chains are gone.
     To the God, the Savior, who removed all our chains and freed us to eternal, abundant Life, be all the glory.
     


   

Yes!

     Yesterday morning, it was the usual mad rush.  Granted, life has become a bit more, well, complicated, when you add to the usual morning mix helping a child with a wheelchair and a walker get ready for school.  Everything seems to take exponentially longer.  And then there's the hauling and hefting and hurrying.  By the way, in case anyone is looking for a new fitness regime, I'm suggesting power wheelchair lifting in and out of a suburban.  Great for the arms... not so terrific for the back.
     We had readied, fed, and delivered our high schoolers to school, and now it was time to do the whole wild dash again with our 5th grader (who goes to school about 30 minutes later).   Now just for a bit of background: thursday was grammar test day.  Grammar, I've discovered, is not a barrel of fun, nor is it easy.  We've been trying to go over this stuff the past few days, but seriously, this is not for the faint of heart.  And along with decluttering, car repair, figuring out directions, and balancing my checkbook, is not on the list of our (or at least my) natural proclivities.
     The plan was to go over the parts of a sentence with our son one more time before running to school, but as is my tendency, the plan was based on being able to cram five hours worth of activity into one hour of time.  If only.  Needless to say, we were running late.  So, I did what any good mama would do: I quizzed my son in the car  on the way to school while he zipped up his book bag, finished buttoning his shirt, and tied his shoelaces.
     "Okay, Peter, here's a sentence, and you tell me what each word is:  'Oscar ran to the store.'  First off, what is Oscar?"
     Peter immediately responded with "noun."
    "NO!  What is Oscar?" I demanded.
    "Mom," Peter insisted, "it's a noun!"
     "NO!... uh, wait a minute, that's right.  It is a noun.  Sorry about that," I sheepishly mumbled.   "Mom, I think you need to back to kindergarden," Peter laughed.  And then we both burst out in big guffaws.  I had been so harried and hurried that I couldn't even identify a noun for my now throughly confused 5th grader.   And truth be told, I had been so prepared for him to be wrong--I was just so ready to say "NO"--that I missed his obviously correct answer that merited a big "YES!"  Good grief.
     It can be so easy to fall into that negativity trap, can't it?  We falter, or someone we love falters, and we can sometimes too quickly fail to give them or ourselves the benefit of the doubt.  We look for the "no's" instead of the "yeses."  We see all that is wrong or focus on the few weaknesses rather than viewing all that is right and all the many strengths.
     And sometimes our quick and harsh "No!" causes us to miss life's "Yes!" that is right there in front of us.  I had been so focused on getting everyone ready and on trying to prepare our son for a quiz that I nearly missed the simple joy of fixing them breakfast and spending a few moments with them and just enjoying them as we went to school.  Boy, our busyness can be such a joy stealer and rob us of the ability to treasure those everyday moments that build our relationships
     Ten years from now what would be more important: our son's grade on one test or his mother's unconditional love in the morning as she sent him off to school?  Would he remember my laughter and my love--all my Yeses--or my harried nagging and quizzing--my No's?  I think I know the answer; it's just that I sometimes forget to ask the question.
     But my Savior never forgets.  And His love never fails.. for it is always "Yes" in Christ.   I have always loved the verse: "For no matter how many promises God has made, they are "Yes" in Christ.  And so through Him the "Amen" is spoken by us to the glory of God."  (2Cor.1:20)   All that God has promised is Yes in Christ.  Yes, God loves us.  Yes, He forgives us.  Yes, His mercies are new every morning.  Yes, He will never leave us or forsake us.  Yes, we can do all things through Him who strengthens us.  Yes, He is our Rock and Refuge.  Yes, He is our Light.  Yes, He is preparing a place for each of us. Yes, He is our very present help in trouble.  Yes, He is the Resurrection and the Life.
      Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes... to every promise in His Word. He is always and eternally YES.  And we are the Amen.  O Lord, help us to live that way!  Help us to declare the Amen to Your glory by the way we live and the way we love.  Forgive us when we forget who You are and what You have done, and thus live as if God's promises were nullified. We tend to doubt and focus on life's No's.
     But all God's promises are Yes in Christ!  So might we live what we profess--Yes in Christ's love.  Yes in Christ's grace.  Yes in Christ's power.  Yes in Christ's joy.  Yes in Christ's hope.  Yes in Christ's peace.  Yes in Christ's victory.  Yes, not no.  Yes!
     And we all say "Amen" to the glory of God.

   

The gigantic secret

      A tough afternoon and evening of pain yesterday and today.  Janie is really struggling with severe neck pain... and that fosters discouragement and frustration.  As she keeps saying, "I just want to feel normal."  How I wish I could help her, but all our efforts have been for naught.  What a helpless feeling.  God of all healing and hope, please help her, strengthen her, heal her, encourage her heart.
     Boy, we tend to forget how difficult pain is.  Unrelenting pain can take you down--not just physically but mentally and emotionally.  The one thing I keep reminding myself is that just a few weeks ago, we were desperately praying Janie could just feel pain.  When she was unconscious those two long weeks, we searched and hoped for any sign that she was feeling any kind of pain.  To be awake and to live is to experience pain.  Help us to remember, Lord, when we feel pain, that You have allowed it for a purpose and for our ultimate good... and You will powerfully use it in our lives when we yield to and trust You.
       I just read this morning in my One Year Bible, "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.  And let steadfastness have its full effect that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."
(James 1:2-4)   How many times have I read this verse?  No telling, but a bunch, that's for sure.  And I always thought it sounded  so good in theory.  Only now God has us moving from theory to reality.  To living out His Word in living color and depending upon Him moment by moment and word by supernatural word.
     And I just have to say, we are certainly more comfortable with the theoretical (versus actual) application of God's Word regarding pain and suffering!  Giving a choice, we'd just as soon opt out of  suffering of any kind--especially when it comes to our children.  But, thankfully, God does not give us a choice. If He did, we'd all be spiritual pigmies.  Weak, underdeveloped, uninteresting, unhelpful, ungrateful.  Yep, living on easy street does not produce deep, strong character, does not make us people who can truly be compassionate and encouraging towards others, and, incredibly, does not foster true.... dare I say it?: joy.
     Because here's the thing: we've never faced such adversity, such sorrow, such uncertainty, such helplessness as we have the past few weeks.  But we've also never experienced such close fellowship with the Lord.  Such joy and gratitude for life and all that God has given us and done for us.  Such enjoyment of and laughter with dear friends and family.  Seriously, even in the ICU, we often laughed hard about one thing or another.  God just gave us His joy.  And His joy is simply irrepressible.... even in the darkness.  You cannot explain it.  You simply experience it, and when your circumstances are outwardly difficult or painful yet He still gives you His joy, well, then, it's supernatural and indefatigable and inexplicable.
     And wonderful.  I love how G.K. Chesterton put it: "Joy, which is the small publicity of the pagan,  is the gigantic secret of the Christian."   Always been one of my favorite quotes!!  Or as C.S. Lewis wrote: "Joy is the serious business of heaven."  Or one more from Brother Lawrence: "Joy is the surest sign of the presence of God."
      He is a God of joy, and He  anoints us with the oil of gladness even in the hard, lonely, painful places of our lives when we look to Him, depend upon Him, savor Him, trust Him. That's not to say we don't struggle and experience exhaustion and sorrow and frustration.  We do... but His joy is greater and stronger.  It's like the smallest candle overcoming the deepest darkness.  Darkness can never overwhelm the Light.  Never could.  Never will.
     So, "count it all joy... when you meet trials of various kinds" is no longer an academic exercise with us.  No more theoretical.  This is real life, and it's hard and painful sometimes.  How I wish I could remove or alleviate Tessa's and Janie's pain.  If only I could heal them and enable them to go back to school full time and be happy, crazy-busy high school seniors who run cross country and sing loudly to the radio in the car and laugh with their friends as they rush to off-campus lunch and zip in nearly late to OneVoice singing rehearsals and complain about how much homework they have and wolf down Chick-fil-A before running to Young Life and celebrating the gift of Jesus with all their buddies.
     But I can't heal them.  I'm not God--and that is one whale of an understatement!  He is the One with all power, all wisdom, all knowledge, all love, all grace, and all mercy.  And if He's allowed any kind of pain or suffering in our lives, then we can know He will use it greatly and graciously and gloriously.  All for His glory, all by His grace, all for our good. And in His good and perfect time, He will restore the weeks and months "the locusts have eaten." (Joel 2:25)
     Until then, in the midst of all of our--and your--trials and suffering and waiting, He'll give every one of us His unexplainable, unquenchable joy.  It's our gigantic secret... but I just told you, because some secrets are too good not to share!  Maybe there's someone else you can share the gigantic Good News with too.
     To God--the Giver of infinite, indefatigable joy--be the glory.

(Tessa and Janie enjoying the beautiful sun outside late this afternoon.  Another splash of His joy!)

The relentless Gift-Giver

     Praise God from whom all blessings flow!  This is Tessa and Janie outside our church, Capital Community (which actually meets at their school, Broughton) on Sunday morning!  God is so good--it was just terrific to be able to sit in church and sing praises to God for His grace and mercy and power and to listen to the Word and to bathe in the incredible love of the body of Christ!  Another thing we will never take for granted again--being able to go to church.
      I'm betting you are all a million times more organized than our family (though that bar is set pretty low), but I can tell you that sunday mornings can be a bit hairy at the Fountain abode.  "Where did  those clean socks go," and, "O no, you cannot wear those dirty khakis--although the wrinkles are just fine--gives them character."  "Hurry hurry hurry, we're gonna be late again."  By the time we jump into the car, breathless and sometimes a tiny bit frustrated, it takes me all the way to church to calm down... and to stop fussing: "We are never going to do this again. From now on, you need to set out all your clothes and your Bibles the night before!  And we will leave by 8:55 at the latest!"  HA!  I'm betting all of heaven is shaking with laughter over that one... I, unfortunately, am not.
     But every time we finally get there, well, it's a celebration to worship the God you love with the people you love.  And now, I will never (okay, maybe sometimes) complain about the mad rush to get there.  I will just keep my eyes on the prize of where we are headed and what we will be doing.  And I sure as shooting won't take the gift of corporate worship for granted ever again.  Forgive us Father!  We live our lives so heedless of the manifold blessings we enjoy daily, hourly.  Not anymore.
     Speaking of, here's another one--driving a car to get somewhere and arriving safely.  Or arriving without a headache.  Bless her heart, when we drive Janie, she tends to get pounding headaches.  So Lord, thank You that so often we can drive places and not feel terrible.
      Another gift: going to school.  I need to remind my boys of this one!  Just being able to get up and get going to wherever you need to go--whether school or work.  What a blessing to feel good enough and strong enough to do the work God has called you to do.   Janie is now taking a class a day at school--praise God--and she's hoping to take two classes a day this week, if she can.  We are really learning to take it slooooow, and trust in God's timing.  But she commented that she couldn't believe how excited she was to go to school.  She didn't even complain about Broughton's early start time (7:25 a.m.).  Neither did any of us.  What a privilege to be able to go and learn and see friends--who cares  what time school starts!  
     If you ever want to have an instant gratitude enhancer, make a list of the important people and activities in your life.  And then mentally assume every single one of them has been taken away.  Gone.  Forever.  Imagine what it would be like to never have a loved one in your life or to be able to hear music or to laugh or to chat with friends or to take a walk... or to go to work or even fold laundry or run carpools.
     Now add those blessings back, but just one by one.  Now, imagine God returns to you that precious person you thought was out of your life forever.  What joy, what an unimaginable act of grace!  Or to suddenly find you could again care for your family--all those chores you thought so distasteful, well, now you discover that you have the strength and ability to clean up your messy teenager's room--the teen you thought was gone for good.  Each task becomes suffused with joy.  Each moment becomes a sacred time of celebrating God's extravagant goodness in your life.
     He gives us gift after gift after gift, but as I've said so many times before, we miss them or ignore them or discount them, because they are so common and everyday and because they are so numerous.  We should be walking around in a fog of joy, overcome by the blessings assaulting us at every turn.  Another friend.  Another meal.  Another new morning and fresh start.  Another time to walk your sweet dog.  Another glowing sunset.  Another piece of chocolate cake.  Another moment to open the Word and be fed.  Another hug.  Another opportunity to love and serve someone.
     We tend to become so preoccupied with what we don't have or what we have lost, that we completely miss the enormous, monumental joy of all we do have,  of all that we have not lost.  Sure, we have all suffered losses.  Some of them terribly hard and heavy.  We have all suffered.  But think of all that God has done and taught through that suffering.  Think of all that remains.
      If you have trouble even seeing that (and we all do--boy, I can lose perspectively so quickly), just walk outside and look at the world God created just for you.  Did you demand He give you trees and sunshine and breezes and birds just outside your door?  Did you deserve to have the the gift of precious family and friends placed in your life by a sovereign Lord?  What did I do to merit the joy of my children and husband and siblings and parents and friends?  And even more, how on earth do they put up with me?!  But somehow or other, they do--another gift!
     So thank You Lord for Your relentless love and Your incorrigible desire to give gifts to Your children.  Thank You for spoiling us.  Forgive us for failing to truly see and appreciate and thank You-- our extravagant Daddy--for all You have given us and done for us.  And thank You most of all for the gift of the Lord Jesus who not only saved us from our sins, but who also showed us the heart of our heavenly Father.  Save us from ingratitude, Lord.  Save us from indifference.  Enlarge our hearts... and thank You that You are making them more like Yours.  To love.  To thank.  To rejoice.
     To God-- the relentless, incorrigible Gift-Giver--be all the glory.