Boy, we tend to forget how difficult pain is. Unrelenting pain can take you down--not just physically but mentally and emotionally. The one thing I keep reminding myself is that just a few weeks ago, we were desperately praying Janie could just feel pain. When she was unconscious those two long weeks, we searched and hoped for any sign that she was feeling any kind of pain. To be awake and to live is to experience pain. Help us to remember, Lord, when we feel pain, that You have allowed it for a purpose and for our ultimate good... and You will powerfully use it in our lives when we yield to and trust You.
I just read this morning in my One Year Bible, "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."
(James 1:2-4) How many times have I read this verse? No telling, but a bunch, that's for sure. And I always thought it sounded so good in theory. Only now God has us moving from theory to reality. To living out His Word in living color and depending upon Him moment by moment and word by supernatural word.
And I just have to say, we are certainly more comfortable with the theoretical (versus actual) application of God's Word regarding pain and suffering! Giving a choice, we'd just as soon opt out of suffering of any kind--especially when it comes to our children. But, thankfully, God does not give us a choice. If He did, we'd all be spiritual pigmies. Weak, underdeveloped, uninteresting, unhelpful, ungrateful. Yep, living on easy street does not produce deep, strong character, does not make us people who can truly be compassionate and encouraging towards others, and, incredibly, does not foster true.... dare I say it?: joy.
Because here's the thing: we've never faced such adversity, such sorrow, such uncertainty, such helplessness as we have the past few weeks. But we've also never experienced such close fellowship with the Lord. Such joy and gratitude for life and all that God has given us and done for us. Such enjoyment of and laughter with dear friends and family. Seriously, even in the ICU, we often laughed hard about one thing or another. God just gave us His joy. And His joy is simply irrepressible.... even in the darkness. You cannot explain it. You simply experience it, and when your circumstances are outwardly difficult or painful yet He still gives you His joy, well, then, it's supernatural and indefatigable and inexplicable.
And wonderful. I love how G.K. Chesterton put it: "Joy, which is the small publicity of the pagan, is the gigantic secret of the Christian." Always been one of my favorite quotes!! Or as C.S. Lewis wrote: "Joy is the serious business of heaven." Or one more from Brother Lawrence: "Joy is the surest sign of the presence of God."
He is a God of joy, and He anoints us with the oil of gladness even in the hard, lonely, painful places of our lives when we look to Him, depend upon Him, savor Him, trust Him. That's not to say we don't struggle and experience exhaustion and sorrow and frustration. We do... but His joy is greater and stronger. It's like the smallest candle overcoming the deepest darkness. Darkness can never overwhelm the Light. Never could. Never will.
So, "count it all joy... when you meet trials of various kinds" is no longer an academic exercise with us. No more theoretical. This is real life, and it's hard and painful sometimes. How I wish I could remove or alleviate Tessa's and Janie's pain. If only I could heal them and enable them to go back to school full time and be happy, crazy-busy high school seniors who run cross country and sing loudly to the radio in the car and laugh with their friends as they rush to off-campus lunch and zip in nearly late to OneVoice singing rehearsals and complain about how much homework they have and wolf down Chick-fil-A before running to Young Life and celebrating the gift of Jesus with all their buddies.
But I can't heal them. I'm not God--and that is one whale of an understatement! He is the One with all power, all wisdom, all knowledge, all love, all grace, and all mercy. And if He's allowed any kind of pain or suffering in our lives, then we can know He will use it greatly and graciously and gloriously. All for His glory, all by His grace, all for our good. And in His good and perfect time, He will restore the weeks and months "the locusts have eaten." (Joel 2:25)
Until then, in the midst of all of our--and your--trials and suffering and waiting, He'll give every one of us His unexplainable, unquenchable joy. It's our gigantic secret... but I just told you, because some secrets are too good not to share! Maybe there's someone else you can share the gigantic Good News with too.
To God--the Giver of infinite, indefatigable joy--be the glory.
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