The Two Thieves

I have often been convicted, challenged, and encouraged by the fact that our Savior hung on the cross in-between two thieves. What a clear picture the Lord gave us of the eternal choice facing every single human being who has ever lived or will ever live as to what they will do with the Lord Jesus. Accept or reject? Saving faith or scoffing skepticism? Poverty of spirit or pride of self? His way or my way? Depending upon Him or depending upon self or anything other than Christ? Looking only unto Jesus to find salvation or looking unto all else save Jesus to find satisfaction?

There simply is no middle ground. He does not leave us that option. Either we look to Him for salvation and sustenance or we refuse and go our own prideful, determined way.

The first thief, incredibly, rails against Jesus and joins in with the chorus of blasphemous insults. "Are you not the Christ? Save yourself and us!" he demands. (Lk 23:39) But not the other thief. I have often contemplated what that second thief must have been feeling as he hung on that cross, naked, bleeding, humiliated, in agony. He knew he deserved this most horrific and terrifying of deaths on a cross. He recalled all the mistakes, all the sins, all the callousness and carelessness of his debauched life, and he knew his hated cross was ultimately, for him, inevitable and deserved.

But this second thief watched Jesus beside him. What drew his eyes to the Savior? Was it Jesus' inner strength even in the agonizing weakness of physical pain? Was it the Lord's compassion even as He was shown nothing but hatred and humiliation? Was it the quiet dignity and regal bearing of One seemingly from another world? Surely this thief observed that as others mocked and spit upon Him, Jesus responds with bewildering love and shocking forgiveness.

And so the second thief rebukes the first thief: "Do you not fear God, since you are under the same sentence of condemnation? And we indeed justly, for we are receiving the due reward of our deeds, but this man has done nothing wrong." And then in the one of the most poignant moments in the Bible, this poor, lost, wasted soul appeals out of his utter poverty of need, his desperate lack of anything to offer, and simply says to the Perfect Savior: "Jesus, remember me when You come into Your kingdom." (Lk.23:42) He couldn't even bring himself to ask for more: just "remember me." He knew he deserved nothing, and so he asks for just the merest scrap of remembrance by the One who had created and known him before he was yet born.

Surely at this moment, the Lord Jesus could not be bothered with such an insignificant, undeserving, undesirable wretch of a human. Surely the work of redemption would require all Jesus' focus and effort, and this waste of a man could not begin to dream he would be given even a passing thought by the Creator and Sustainer of the world. Surely this was far too much to ask of the Perfect One.

Not this Savior. Not our Savior. "And He said to him, 'Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise.'" (Lk 23:43) Who can begin to understand such forgiveness. Such compassion. Such love. Such grace.

And can you imagine what this meant to that thief? From devastation and desperation to deliverance. From despair to hope. From a certainty of hell to a certainty of heaven. From the knowledge of what he deserved--death for his sins--to the knowledge of what he would receive--grace and redemption by the Savior. Unfathomable.

Might we never forget, however, that we, too, are those thieves. "For there are many ways to steal. We take back our promises, rob the truth of others' reputations as we slander them, and run away with a friend's joy when we argue--so we often break God's law." (Carmen Butcher) And just as with that second thief, Jesus will never ever ever turn away a heart that comes in poverty of spirit, in child-like need and trust. The desperate need and trust that recognizes: we cannot... but He can. That we are weak... but He is strong. That we don't know what to do.... but our eyes are upon Him. That we have nothing to offer save our sin... but His forgiveness and grace are infinite and freely available to all. Yes, might we all emulate that second thief and come to Jesus with our need and our weakness and our sin and find salvation and redemption and hope.

What I have not often considered, however, is that we can also be like that other thief--the unrepentant thief. How I hate that--I don't want to be associated in anyway shape or form with the first thief who, to the bitter end, rejects and mocks the Lord Jesus and refuses to turn to Him by faith. Nonetheless, the sad, terrible truth is in my impatience, my pride, my self-sufficiency I can also be that petulant, "irascible thief, demanding, 'Are you not the Messiah? Save Yourself and us!'" Stamping my foot and declaring, "I want it now, Jesus!" or "I want it my way, not your way!"

As one writer, Carmen Butcher put it, "Whenever we encounter hardship, we ought not let ourselves grow impatient, instead we should embrace this image of God hanging on the cross between a penitent lawbreaker and an angry one, and pray that we will always be the one turning to Christ in suffering and sin asking Him, 'Remember me.'"

Turning to Him to meet our need. Turning to Him to forgive our sins. Turning to Him for strength and sustenance. Turning to Him in gratitude and dependence. Rather than looking to any lesser thing or any other idol this world claims will satisfy our restless souls... and never ever ultimately does.

So today, consider the two thieves and choose well. Choose wisely to Whom or to what you will turn. Where will you seek satisfaction today? Where will you seek strength to see you through the hard, dark places in your life? Where will you turn for grace and joy and love and forgiveness? The choice is clear. Look to the cross and live. And choose daily, hourly, to go to the Redeemer, handing Him your moment by moment need and sin and accepting His strength and grace. To our Savior, our Sustainer, our Strength, our Redeemer, be all the glory.

A Costco Picnic

I've just returned from my home away from home: Costco. Yes, I always get that warm, fuzzy, family feeling when I walk through that cavernous warehouse lined to the ceiling with boxes of cereal that would feed an army of Jethros and cans of baked beans whose size simply defies the imagination. It kills my husband when I come home with a fabulous "deal" consisting of a crate of green beans that would last us until until the year 2040--or the arrival of our first great-great-grand child, whichever comes last. The storage of said items continues to be a bone of contention at our house.

All that being said, I love to cruise through the cement halls of Costco seeking out the latest deals on ginormous packages of paper plates and flavored Perrier water. And honestly, the place may be mighty sterile, but the employees there are always incredibly nice and helpful (and, as I mentioned to the friendly checkout guy today--unbelievably fast!). Today, after zipping through the checkout line (like I said--fast), I pushed my cart past the little food court they have set up there. It's really something--lots of picnic tables, complete with umbrellas, and awfully clean with a number of folks eating their pizza or frozen yogurt sitting under the umbrellas.

But still... sitting under the umbrellas in the middle of the Costco... in the cavernous warehouse... with the cement floors... and the florescent lights overhead. No music. No chorus of birds. No sun. No breeze. No blue sky. Just Costco--and like I said, I really like Costco... a lot... but gee whiz, eating under an umbrella at a picnic table inside Costco?

I guess the contrast with the day outside was just so dramatic. I walked outside and gazed up at a sky that was such a spectacular shade of blue it hurt your heart. It was a cool spring day--truly, just the ideal temperature of slightly warm but still the hint of a chill and refreshing. And the birds, heaven help us, the birds were putting on a show! I've never heard such singing and trilling--it simply took my breath away. The air was so clear and clean after all the rain. As I filled my lungs, I simply couldn't do anything but thank the Lord for the gift of life and the privilege of witnessing His daily miraculous show of creation. All for free. No membership necessary. No fees. No requirements... save an observant eye and a thankful heart.

How often do we settle for the Costco picnics in our lives when God has a sumptious banquet of His free grace and joy and peace and power and glory ready and waiting and available for us? So much beauty and how often do we miss it? So much grace, so much love, so much peace, so much joy, but we choose instead to huddle in our little fears and shallow dreams of more stuff or more success or more money.

He has so so much more for us! Why would we settle for the Costco picnic when we can go outside and watch the waves of the ocean or frolic on the beach or hike up the mountains or sit in the sun and smell the new cut grass? Why would we settle for the temporary and empty applause of the world when we can have lasting and loving relationships and laughter with our precious family and friends and with the God of the Universe? Why would we think we need more achievements, more accumulation, more accolades that always always always disappoint when He longs to give us more depth of love, more joy and more true soul satisfaction in Him?

As I drove home, I suddenly saw the azaleas that marked my path nearly all the way back. It seemed every yard bloomed with the extravagant, showy blossoms in brilliant purple and pink and orange. How on earth had I missed them before? Too busy. Too preoccupied. Too self-concerned to see all that God had freely bestowed to give us pleasure and bring Him glory. Forgive me Lord. Forgive me for daily settling for so little when You yearn for us to enjoy so infinitely much more in You. Help me, help us, to leave behind the sterile indoor picnics of our lives and seek out the wild, adventurous life of complete trust and faith in You and in Your plans for us. To God, the generous, gracious Giver of all that we see and all that we cannot see, be all the glory.

Still Learning Gratitude!

This is just so pitiful to even admit, but even as I was writing yesterday's blog about not grumbling or questioning, I failed the test! Sigh. I was happily typing away, thinking lovely thoughts about how I would unfailingly choose gratitude and trusting over grumbling and questioning... until, heaven help us, an interruption. (Isn't it always life's interruptions that get us?) My husband told me it was time to get ready to go somewhere, and I needed to get off the computer pronto. And so, of course, I joyfully complied and thanked God for the gift of interruptions which are actually His divine appointments.

Uh, no, that would not be how I responded. Just ask my husband. Actually, don't ask him.

Instead, I immediately GRUMBLED! Okay, maybe I muttered semi-quietly but with great irritation under my breath. But let's face it: selfish, want-my-own-way-little-old-me grumbled about being interrupted right in the middle of my happy, happy thoughts about doing ALL things without grumbling or questioning. And even if nobody else in the house knew it... I knew it and so did my Lord. (Well, and probably so did my husband unless he was blind and stone deaf. Fortunately, none of my children were home or they probably would've known it as well--great parenting, huh. But I really really think our dog, Moses, did not know it, since he loves me and thinks I'm the best no matter what--so I'm feeling vindicated. Gee whiz.)

I share this to point out how naturally and quickly we default to the grumbling mode... or at least, I do. We have to constantly guard against this sinful bent, and the best way to fight grumbling is with gratitude. Nature abhors a vacuum, so it's just not enough for me to say to myself over and over and over again--don't grumble. Don't complain. Don't gripe. Nope, I need to instead train myself to choose gratitude in any and every situation. Look for the reasons to give thanks, rather than focus like a laser on the few grounds for grumbling.

We have to be students of contentment. Paul writes that he had "learned in whatever situation I am to be content." (Phil. 4:11) We can learn to be content in all circumstances--or another way of putting that would be learn to rejoice and be grateful rather than grumble and question--but learning requires time and effort. To be a student requires intentional and tireless effort, but we can do it. If Paul could learn contentment, if Paul could choose gratitude rather than grumbling, then so can we! After all, we have the same Savior and the same Holy Spirit.

It starts with choosing to be intentional and recognizing when we are indulging in self-pity and grumbling. And then we must go to our Savior, seeking forgiveness, and asking Him to enable us to choose gratitude, choose trust. Ask Him, by the power that raised Christ from the dead, to enable us to be contented, joyful, grateful students of His grace and goodness and glory.

After messing up, we need to remember to watch our thoughts... cause, seriously, we all know it begins in our minds. In what kind of thoughts are we indulging? Critical thoughts? Irritated thoughts? Thoughts about how unfair or unenjoyable our situation is? Thoughts of envy or prideful comparison? Thoughts of what we have that we don't want or want that we don't have?

We can choose our thoughts! Again, good old Paul, in that gold mine of the book of Philippians urges us: "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me--practice these things and the God of peace will be with you." (Phil. 4:8-9)

So, the more we think about that which is good and true and honorable and the more we practice thinking right thoughts and choosing gratitude rather than grumbling, then the more we will consistently live out what we believe and profess and desire to be true in our lives. And guess what--the more contented and joyful and peaceful we will be and the more we will glorify Him. Pretty much a win-win, if you ask me.

Maybe nobody needed to be reminded of this, but me. So, sorry, if you wasted your time reading this! I, however, am one slow learner and needed the reminder. But I have a mighty patient, loving, gracious Teacher who never gives up and never quits. Never--not even on His slowest, most intransigent students! So thank You Lord for teaching us contentment and encouraging us to choose gratitude with our thoughts and our words and our actions. Help us to "practice these things!" To our gracious, all-wise and all-loving Redeemer and Savior, be all the glory.

Grumbling or Questioning

"Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain." (Phil. 2:14-16)

There is so much in these verses, but for today, let me just linger on Phil.2:14--"Do ALL things without grumbling or questioning." Brother, I have a long way to go on that one. I'm betting that if I were some Greek scholar, I would be able to give the definition of "all" in the original Greek. And I'm also betting it would be... ALL. As in, don't grumble or question anything, nada, nothing, not even the weather. Not even when the star point guard for your beloved tar heels basketball team is injured and unable to play in the NCAA tournament. Not even when someone else eats the rest of the ice cream cake. Not even when life breaks your heart or changes your plans or steals your dreams. Not in the hardest, most challenging of sorrows nor in the smallest, most shallow of disappointments.

Don't we all default to grumbling? It's too warm or too cold. The music is too loud or too slow or too something or other. Our home is too old or our yard is too full of weeds or our car is too unreliable. Our weight is too heavy or our eyes are too weak. Or we grumble about our insufficiencies, our "not quite enough's"--not enough gratitude from our loved ones. Not enough time. Not enough money. Not enough sunshine. Not enough rain. Not enough time or energy or love.

Forgive us, sovereign Lord! All things, all circumstances--good, bad, challenging, exhilarating, exhausting, encouraging--all come from Your hand, filtered through Your mysterious but always ultimately good plans and ways, and prompted and permitted only through Your love. Calvary love. We simply cannot always understand. Why the death of a child? Why tragic accidents? Why handicaps--physical, mental, emotional? Why war and pain and famine and turmoil?

We will never know the why's this side of heaven.

But we know the Who... and that is enough.

I find the more I focus on the Who, by fixing my eyes upon the Savior, then the "why's" don't seem so important anymore. And I am able to praise the One who came and lived and bled and died and rose again and who lives that we might truly live. Live the abundant, joyful, non- grumbling life! When I'm grumbling and questioning, my focus is upon big me and my big circumstances. But when I refuse to grumble and instead choose gratitude, my focus is upon my big, huge sovereign God and His glorious grace. And the result is trusting joy and a life in which we "shine as lights in the world." (Phil.2:15) If you want to stand out, try choosing gratitude rather than grumbling; try trusting rather than questioning, and, believe me, in this jaded, dark world, your light will shine!

So today, tonight, tomorrow, even when things don't go according to our plan, might we choose thanking and trusting rather than grumbling and questioning. God's in complete control, but He's giving you the choice as to your response. "Do all things without grumbling or questioning." What are you excluding from "all things?!" He who has given all, forgiven all, and done all for us, deserves our "all." And to our Almighty, Sovereign God be ALL the glory.

Grace again... and again!

Might we never grow weary of the subject of grace! Isn't it funny how the Lord will sometimes seem to repeat the same message to you in a number of different ways and places? I guess that's just another example of His grace--He knows how frail and forgetful we all are, so He graciously, gently teaches and encourages us again and again! Since my brain has grown so forgetful that I often confuse my youngest child's name with the dog's (but hey, they are both biblical names--one New Testament and the other Old!), I'm mighty thankful for the reminders... and for His never-ending grace. His mercies are new every morning--especially when you can't remember anything from the day before.

The day after I wrote the previous blog on grace and glory, I read these words by William Gurnall, a 17th century English pastor: "If the provisions were left in our own hands, we would soon be bankrupt merchants. God knows we are weak, like cracked pitchers--if filled to the brim and set aside, the contents would soon leak out. So He puts us under a flowing fountain of His strength and constantly refills us... The Christian ought to rely on divine strength because this plan results in the greatest advancement of God's own glory (Ephesians 1:4, 12). If God had given you a lifetime supply of His grace to begin with and left you to handle your own account, you would have thought Him generous indeed. But He is magnified even more by the open account He sets up in your name. Now you must acknowledge not only that your strength comes from God in the first place, but that you are continually in debt for every withdrawal of strength you make throughout your Christian course."

And all God's people said "Amen!" We take so many daily graces for granted--the wonder of a child, the constancy of a spouse, the tail thumping love of a dog, the symphonic cacophony of birds in the early morning, the warmth of the sun, the cleansing of the rain, the soft leather of an old, beloved Bible, the laughter of a dear friend, the joy of answered prayer, the bloom of a dogwood tree. Forgive me Lord for demanding so much and thanking so little.

And then there is His supernatural provision of grace--the manna that is always always always enough, always just what is needed when it is needed--His power, His forgiveness, His love, His strength, His peace... Himself given to us, at all times and in all places.

You know, it is true: if He just laid that lifetime supply on us all at once, we would be stunned and overwhelmed at such extravagance, such utterly undeserved abundance. We would recognize our extraordinary wealth and blessing bestowed by our bank account of grace. But I wonder whether we might be tempted to worry, "When will it run out? How can I preserve and conserve it? What if there is not enough? Perhaps I need to hoard it and refuse to share it, just in case?"

So our all-wise Father gives us our supernatural abundance in gift-wrapped packages of grace on a daily, hourly, moment by moment basis. As Gurnall wrote, "He is magnified even more by the open account He sets up in your name." We need never worry His grace will be insufficient or inadequate. His grace flows freely and fully for our every need--right when we need it. All we must do is ask. Draw upon that never emptying account of grace by calling upon our Father in our emptiness and inadequacy and insecurity and fear and failings.

No wonder Paul could write with such conviction and joy: "...I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." (Phil.4:11-13) Yes, Paul "learned" contentment, because he had learned that God's grace is always and ever sufficient for his every need. Paul could do anything and everything through the grace of the risen Savior.

And so can we. Same Savior. Same grace. Same strength. Same limitless open account of ever flowing grace to meet our every need. We can learn contentment, as we, too, hand Him our exhaustion or discouragement or fear or failure or confusion and watch His grace meet yet another need or cover another seemingly impossible dilemma or strengthen us to face another struggle. We learn of the sufficiency and greatness of His grace and strength for our every need. And we discover joy and peace and contentment even in the midst of our storms.

We can do all things through Him who strengthens us... for the fountain still flows and flows and flows, and the grace pours down and spills over all our needs and fears and hopes. And then, the glory can only go to the Source of that continuously flowing grace, that endless open account written in your name, in His blood. Might we each day, each hour, each moment say, "Help me, Lord" and then "Thank You, Father." To God, our Gracious Infinite Provider and Strength, be the glory.

The God of Grace and Glory

It has been a mighty busy week, or two weeks, actually. Nothing super extraordinary or anything, just lots of meetings, children's school projects, decisions on school courses for next year, volunteer activities, high school sporting events, planning for a future Bible study, and, of course, the usual endless loads of laundry, cleaning, cooking, carpooling, and on and on. By this afternoon, I was feeling a bit overwhelmed and discouraged. Next year I am helping with a women's Bible study at our church, and I thought, "How on earth am I going to do that, too? I'm already on overload, failing to get done all I need to get done and feeling like I'm doing everything poorly." You know, mama's guilt and inadequacy and all that.

A dear friend texted me that she had dropped something off in my mailbox, and as I zoomed out the door on the way to drop something off at school for one of my children (and before carpools for several other children!), I remembered to grab it. I read a little note attached to it that simply said, "Read March 19." And here is what I read: "The Lord will give grace and glory." Psalm 84:11. Now I realize that may not mean much to you, but if you are involved in our church women's Bible study, like me, you might have gasped. For you see, we labored over what to call our study. We went through weeks and weeks of various names, never seeming to come up with what we felt was God's choice.

And then a week or two ago, God gave us the name: Morning Glory (for our day class) and Evening Grace (for our night class). We would refer to them together as the Grace & Glory classes--because everything, absolutely everything we do, from dawn to dusk, is all by His grace, and all for His glory. The older I get, the more I realize this--I wouldn't be able to tie my shoes properly, much less love my husband and children, do all that He's called me to do, encourage and love my friends, apart from His amazing, supernatural, glorious grace.

The thing is, I tend to forget this. I tend to get busy busy busy trying to do all I have to do, accomplishing, completing, competing, succeeding (and failing), and I forget about beseeching Him for His grace. Do that long enough, and you get exhaustion or joylessness or burn out or discouragement or even despair. And you sure as shooting don't get blessing and contentment and peace!

As I read the words of the little devotional my dear friend, Holly, had dropped off, I realized they echoed what I had just been thinking about the other day. Charles Spurgeon wrote that "Grace is what we need just now, and it is to be had freely. What can be freer than a gift? Today we shall receive sustaining, strengthening, sanctifying, satisfying grace. He has given us daily grace until now, and as for the future, that grace is still sufficient. If we have but little grace, the fault must lie in ourselves; for the Lord is not straitened, neither is He slow to bestow it in abundance. We may ask for as much as we will and never fear refusal. He giveth liberally and upbraideth not."

I immediately thought of the story I had read a few days ago about the poor widow who came to the prophet Elisha, desperate for help. She was unable to pay her bills, and the creditor had come to take her two children to be his slaves. When Elisha asked her, "Tell me: what do you have in the house?," she responded that she had "nothing in the house except a jar of oil." (2 Kings 4:2) Elisha tells her to go borrow as many vessels as she possibly can from all her neighbors. "Then go in and shut the door behind yourself and your sons and pour into all the vessels" and keep pouring one after another. (2 Kings4:4)

And that is exactly what she did. She gathered the vessels and began pouring and pouring and pouring the oil into jar after jar after jar. I would have loved to have seen that varied and sundry assortment of vessels--surely there were jugs and big jars and small containers and bowls and fancy pots and rude, broken vessels of all shapes and sizes. But as soon as she had filled the very last container, "the oil stopped flowing." (v.6) She then went and sold the oil and paid her debts.

I couldn't help pondering: I wonder if she wished she had gotten a few more vessels? I bet she figured she surely could have scrounged up more containers of some kind or another, and if she had, the oil would have kept flowing and flowing and flowing. The only reason the oil ran dry was because of her failure to keep offering up more empty vessels.

Isn't that a bit like grace? God offers the free, glorious, life-giving gift of His grace to all of us. His grace never runs out, never runs dry, never proves even slightly inadequate to any possible need. As long as we hold out our hands and ask, He keeps pouring it upon us in beautiful abundance, to meet our every need. But I need to keep offering, keep holding out my empty, needy hands to the One who is all-sufficient. Keep asking. Keep seeking. Keep handing Him my empty vessels... and watch them be filled by the Savior.

"Lord, here is my empty jar of energy"--and He gives grace. "Father, here's my empty container of parenting. I need help, I need wisdom, I need love"--and His grace overflows my weaknesses and vacant spaces. "Jesus, here's my empty cup of clutter and disorganization and unfinished tasks"... and the grace flows and fills. "Savior, here's my empty jug of patience or peace or forgiveness or kindness. I have none; I'm just fresh out." And the grace just seems to fill and flow and overflow. "Lord, here's my completely empty bowl of love--for those You've given me and even for You"--and somehow, the God of all mercy and grace and glory, forgives and renews and restores and refills to overflowing every sinful vacancy, every lack, every failed intention with Himself and His endless, glorious grace.

Today, might we praise the Lord of infinite provision who promises to give grace and glory to His empty, needy children. We are weak... but He is strong, so strong. So infinitely, graciously, gloriously strong.

And His grace is flowing and flowing and flowing. Will you hand Him your empty jars and jugs, whatever the size, whatever the shape, whatever the need?... and keep handing them to Him who ever flows and fills, all by His grace and all for His glory. He will never ever fail to fill with His grace. All glory be to our Great God of all Grace.

Where is our focus?

A little more on what I wrote about yesterday--this following hard after our Savior--as I find it to be one of the greatest of challenges in our frenetic world saturated with diversions and pleasures. Yet it also provides the richest of rewards, for the closer we follow Him, the more intimately we know Him, the more deeply we love Him, the more gratefully we worship Him, and the more joyfully we serve Him.

But, boy, it is just so easy to get off track and start running down all manner of "rabbit trails" rather than following THE trail, The Way. The Way may be narrower and harder, but it is The Way of abundant, joyful, peaceful, contented, eternal Life--with a capital "L!" Why do we so often settle for all those pale, unsatisfying, ultimately destructive substitutes rather than the real thing, the Real Way?

Well, again, I think it goes back to truly seeing, truly gazing upon the Savior daily so that we increasingly come to know and love Him, and, therefore, long to obey and serve Him. It just can't be a matter of gritting my teeth, and determinedly declaring, "I WILL obey. I WILL be more loving and unselfish. I WILL stop wasting time or money or effort on that which is worldly and shallow and self-seeking." You know why? Because no matter how hard I try, I always seem to default back to selfish, prideful, petty, ungrateful me. 'Cause wherever I turn, there I am, for Pete's sake! It's the old sin nature that rears it's hideous head... and it horrifies me every time when I see how truly sinful I am.

And then I see how glorious my Savior truly is. And how amazing grace truly is. And how it is not 80% Him and 20% me. It is not even 99% Him and 1% me. It is simply 100% Him and Him alone. His blood. His love. His mercy. His grace. His forgiveness. His salvation. "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing: it is the gift of God, not a result of works so that no one may boast." (Eph. 2:8-9) The good news, it is 0% us, and, well, yahoo, I can do 0%! But my job is to be fixing upon and following hard after the One who is 100%.

So in order to follow hard, and ultimately to obey and serve and love in the ways in which He has called us, we need to know Him and love Him better and more intimately. William Gurnell wrote that "He who has only a nodding acquaintance with the king may easily be persuaded to change his allegiance, or will at least try to remain neutral in the face of reason. Some professing Christians have only a passing acquaintance with the Gospel. They can hardly give an account of what they hope for, or whom they hope in. And if they have some principles they take kindly to, they are so unsettled that every wind blows them away, like loose tiles from a housetop." He goes on to declare that "Head knowledge of the things of Christ is not enough; this following Christ is primarily a matter of the heart. If your heart is not fixed in its purpose, your principles, as good as they may be, will hang loose and be of no more use in the heat of battle than an ill-strung bow. Half-hearted resolve will not venture much nor far for Christ."

How well do we know the King? Is He an acquaintance or the dearest and choicest Friend? I have a lot of acquaintances that I see and wave to and shoot "hey!" but in order to sustain and strengthen my dearest of friendships requires sacrifice, time, dedication, and communication. Upon what are we spending most of our time, our money, our efforts, our thoughts? That will determine our focus and our ultimate direction.

What is keeping you, keeping me, from being whole-heartedly devoted to Christ? Upon what is your heart fixed? The location of our focus will determine the destination of our actions. If my heart is fixed upon Christ, I cannot help but be transformed increasingly into His likeness as I walk with Him and head down His Way. But if my heart is fractured into a million busy, worldly pieces, sometimes glancing at Christ but more often than not busily gazing at activities and things and success and accomplishments, then I'll inevitably lose my way... and His Way. As a result, I'll forfeit all the joy and peace and strength and love and grace He has for me in and on His Way, The Way.

O Lord, keep us fixed upon You, following hard and close, no matter how long and tough the battle. Help us to see You. Give us a fresh vision of Your glory. Keep us in Your Word and reveal Yourself to us, we humbly ask. Keep our hearts fixed and focused and faithful to You and You alone. And to You, our One and Only Savior, our beautiful, gracious, worthy Redeemer, be the glory.

Fixing upon and Following hard

"When asked, 'How can we learn not to be easily offended?' a Desert Father said:

'Consider how dogs hunt rabbits. One dog spots the rabbit and runs after it, giving chase. When the other dogs in the pack see that one dog race down that path, they take off after him, until they become winded and quit, never having seen the rabbit. So they turn back. That one dog, however, will pursue his quarry until he catches it. He ignores briers, rocks, injury, and weariness. He takes no notice that he is alone. He will not rest until he has caught that rabbit. it is the same with those who seek Christ, training their eyes on the cross. They ignore what upsets or injures them. Their eyes are fixed on reaching God's love.'" (From the "Sayings of the Father and Mothers"--Monks and nuns who lived in the desert in the 3rd century)

That is how we follow hard after Christ--ignoring insults or discomfort or personal whims or distractions that tend to detour us away from the path of the upward call of God. How often we can be like that half-hearted herd of dogs who run for a bit but then lose interest or focus or strength. If we have not had a vision of His glory, if we are not cultivating that intimate, life-sustaining personal relationship with the Lord Jesus, then we are much more prone to wander off or wearily give up or just weaken a bit here or there till we are far afield from where we should be. If we have seen Him, truly seen Him that, each day, then we will keep following, despite the hardships or disappointments or unexpected difficulties that any day can bring. But we have to be like that first dog that actually saw the rabbit, for without a vision of our prize, our goal, our Savior and His inestimable beauty and glory and goodness, we will falter and faint.

G. Campbell Morgan put it this way: "The supreme need in every hour of difficulty and distress is for a fresh vision of God. Seeing Him, all else takes on proper perspective and proportion." Isn't that so true? It really comes down to upon what or Whom am I fixed? Am I fixed upon Christ? Or am I fixed upon my problems, my circumstances, my limitations, my selfish desires, my perceived mistreatment by others, my things? The world shouts at us: "Look here! Here is happiness! Here is true contentment and fulfillment! If you will only buy this! or If you will just change... and you fill in the blank: change your spouse, change your house, change your car, change your job. or If you will only have better children or better clothes or better body or better skills. or If you will only drink this or consume this or eat this. Then, finally, deservedly, you will be truly happy and fulfilled!"

It is a lie. And how often we believe it. How often I believe it. Forgive me, Lord. For in You, and in You only, is fullness of joy. You are the source of all that I love. You are the Giver of all good and glorious gifts--from my husband to my children to my siblings to my friends to my health to my home to my sweet old Moses to this colorful, magnificent world in which I live and move and love and laugh. But I need to focus upon You, gaze upon You in Your Word and in prayer so that all the other things fall into the proper perspective. I need to follow hard, follow with determination and joy, because I have had a vision of Your glory.

Paul declared in Philippians 3:10-14 "that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and may share in His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me His own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."

So today, keep pressing on! Keep forgetting what is past and straining towards what's ahead... because you have a clear vision of the Perfect Prize, our Savior Jesus. Don't be like that half-hearted pack of dogs that gives in or gives up, because they have not seen the prize. See Him today. Seek Him today. He is waiting right now in His Word. And He is glorious. To God be the glory.

More gifts!

So many gifts, so many reasons for joyous gratitude in my mundane, totally ordinary, but yet God-ordered good, good days. Where do I begin? Maybe with the science fair the other night, perhaps? After all the toil, sweat, and tears of the infamous science experiment, we finally went in on tuesday night to enjoy the fruit of all the children's labors. After all my fretting and fussing, after all our failing and faltering..

It was wonderful! Seriously.

Though a pretty crummy photographer, I couldn't help but capture every child's science project on film. How I wish I could figure out how to put pictures on this blog! But just imagine it: there is each child, standing proudly in front of their masterpiece, smiling broadly in front of moldy orange slices or embalmed hot dogs (thank goodness we weren't having hot dogs for dinner later) or basketball graphs or popcorn in various stages of preparation, or, in the case of my son, toilet paper floating in glass jars, or grass growing in plastic pots or fishing poles and on and on.

There is just nothing like seeing joy on display. Joy in the finishing of some hard task. Joy in sharing with others. Joy in being a 4th grader surrounded by parents and siblings and friends and dear teachers who love you beyond all reason. Joy in the gift of living and breathing and being fully present in that moment.

Somehow, it felt like one of those holy moments that break into our everyday, regular routine. Holiness at the science fair, how about that?! You know, I think God gives those holy moments to us all the time, continuously in fact, but we just don't have eyes to see. We are too busy, too preoccupied, too self-absorbed, too focused on the peripheral or the urgent to see His gifts. But in that moment, God broke through my hard shell, and I couldn't help but be overwhelmed with the joy of it all. To be there, to be able to ooh and aah and encourage each child and witness all those spreading grins. To realize in that moment, God had lavished upon each of so many gifts. Gifts of our children, our lives, our senses, our teachers, our friends, our laughter, our gratitude.

And to think I had fretted and fussed about all this science experiment stuff! Shame on me! And so I'm reminded of another gift--grace. His grace, so utterly undeserved, just so amazing. As I walked around the room that evening, gazing at all those science projects, I wanted to shout: "Gift! And another gift! And another gift! And another gift!" Gift upon gift upon gift, one right after the other, one child, one smile at a time. God's unique, priceless children fully on display for the world to see how extravagantly good, how perfectly loving, how astoundingly creative is our Great and Glorious God.

All those gifts in one evening--and that doesn't even include the pale pink tulip tree bursting with blooms that greeted us outside the hall as we went into the school that night! Gift. Or the taste of sweet strawberries and crunchy toast and gooey chocolate cake for hungry mouths later that night. To be hungry and to be fed and to savor--gifts... especially the chocolate, of course!

Or talking on the phone with my daughter in another town--hearing the sound of her voice and cherishing her love and laughter and life. Gift! Or watching basketball games with my family and cheering--or despairing--and discussing this or that. Gift. Walking with my husband and our boys and watching them play golf on a windy, sun-drenched March day. Gift. Listening to music, singing along or just feeling the peace or the passion or the joy behind the notes and words that speak in ways that go far deeper than language. Gift. Or seeing extraordinary answers to prayer for our women's Bible study, and simply sitting back amazed and awed, and utterly humbled, at what our Almighty Sovereign Savior loves to do for His children--His often doubting, faithless, faltering children. We just count it all grace and say "Thank You, Lord for Your gifts upon gifts."

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice!" (Phil.4:4) How can we not rejoice--in who He is and what He has done and in His ordinary--yet extraordinary--gifts upon gifts upon gifts? Elisha prayed for his servant when the hills were surrounded by God's glorious flaming armies, "O Lord, please open his eyes that he may see." (2 Kings 6:17) We, too, pray, "Lord, open our eyes that we might see all Your manifold gifts, showered upon us daily. Give us eyes to see and then to rejoice in You and in Your gifts." Rejoice not in possessions, but in people. Not in our stuff but in our Savior. Not in success but in sanctification. O Lord, open our eyes that we might see and rejoice in You and Your gifts and Your glory and grace!

"To our God and Father be glory forever and ever. Amen." (Phil. 4:20)

I don't got it!

PRAISE GOD--we just handed in the science experiment (I should add--"our" science experiment)! Praise God from whom all blessings flow! Sorry to harp on this again (after last night's blogging rant) but I just had to give God glory since it almost feels like a tiny miracle! Whew.

But I have to add more one funny thing about this whole adventure in learning (that's framing in a much better way than my late night characterization of "infernal blasted science experiment!). We had finally finished all the writing and typing of hypothesis and results and conclusions, etc., and now it came down to one last herculean task: making the graph. Now, keep in mind I have the technological ability of an ant, though that might even be disparaging to the ant. So I had no earthly idea how to do a graph on "Excel" (whatever that is--I don't even think I spelled it correctly). Graphs on a computer sounded like neurosurgery to me, so imagine my relief that Peter totally, absolutely knew how to do it. O, yes, he had assured me repeatedly over the past week, "I know exactly how to do it, Mom. I know how to make the graph." And I needed that reassurance constantly, as I felt increasingly uneasy about the prospect of such a foreign and totally out-of-my-comfort-zone task. But my 4th grader had it, and life was good.

So, late yesterday afternoon, the time had come to make the dreaded graph. Peter confidently stepped up to the computer, opened the Excel program (I couldn't even do that), and then looked up at me. "Okay, what do I enter, Mom?" Excuse me? I'm sure I misunderstood, but it sounded like Peter was asking totally clueless moi what to do. Staying moderately calm, I replied, "What do you mean, what do you enter? Just enter the stuff you planned on entering in whatever way you planned on entering it." My voice started rising just the teensiest bit. Peter started hitting some rather random looking keys, stared at the empty graph on the computer, and finally admitted, "I don't know what to do."

O MY STARS! Call the FBI. Call someone at MIT. Call the engineering department at NC State. Call one of my son's friends who either know how to do this or have an intelligent, organized Mama who knows how to do this and who probably made sure this project was finished a week and a half ago.

Or, maybe call his big sister. Who, bless her soul, since she was incredibly busy working on a big paper, came downstairs and easily and quickly showed us what to do. Okay, that's not true. She did the whole thing while Peter and I watched in utter amazement and joyous relief. It took her less than 5 minutes. It would have taken us till the year 2025. Maybe 2050. Maybe never.

As I thought about all of this, I couldn't help but see how my precious son reflected his sinful, often wayward mama. O yes, I absolutely know what to do. I've got it. I've totally got it..... until disaster strikes. Reality sets in. Exhaustion and discouragement follow. And we realize, I "don't got it" after all. In fact, I've blown it again. I've gone my own prideful way, so certain I know what is best and that my plan is certainly better than anything God might have in store for me. "No, Lord," we essentially declare, "I've got this. I don't need Your help or Your guidance or Your plan. I'm in control and I've got it."

And then we fall and falter and fail and come humbly before Him and admit, "Once again, Father, I don't 'got it.' Would You forgive me? Would You show me? Would You guide me and enable me?" And the remarkable, unbelievable thing is--He does. He always does. It's called GRACE, and it is glorious.

But next time, Lord, help us to remember to seek You first and foremost. O Lord, I'm such an impossibly slow learner (just ask my kids or my computer), but help me to turn to You and seek Your will and Your way first and foremost rather than heading off on my own prideful path. Help us, Lord, to pray the prayer You never refuse: "We don't know what to do, but our eyes are on You." (2 Chronicles 20:12) You Lead, Lord; we'll follow. And to our Leading, Loving Lord who's grace and mercy flow so freely, be all the glory.

The Second Science Experiment

I'm thinking about rereading Dante's Inferno. I may have missed it the first time through, but I'm betting a closer reading might reveal the mention of some endless elementary school science fair experiment as punishment somewhere down in the bowels of Hades. Don't get me wrong. I love science. I love my child's science teacher. I love school I love fairs. Just put science and experiment and fair and my child and yours truly all together, and you get... much weeping and gnashing of teeth (by him and me). Thank You Lord for yet another clear confirmation that I must never ever, under any circumstances, attempt to homeschool my children.

Our first no-fail science experiment failed. We tried it again and again (as in 8 or 9 times) and can now say that no matter what all the science textbooks (and google) say, you cannot actually get hot water to produce ice crystals faster than cold water. It is known as the Mpemba effect and was studied all the way back to the time of Aristotle, Bacon, and Descartes. Supposedly those second rate intellects proved that this counterintuitive effect can and does occur under certain conditions. But what do they know? Yes, the Fountains have proved them ALL wrong. Maybe I need to phone the Smithsonian in D.C. to inform them of our astounding discovery.

After the 9th failed attempt, we were feeling a bit, uh, deflated and defeated. Peter, my 4th grader, had lost all ability to care anymore: "Let's just do the report and say it didn't work." He was ready to go to the golf course. I was not. Plus, I didn't think that would make for a very impressive showing at the science fair: "My Failed Experiment." (Maybe with a subtitle--"My mom is mean and unhelpful.")

So the time had come to recognize that we had failed and we needed to start anew. Again, much, much, much weeping and gnashing of teeth. That golf course seemed a lot more alluring to the 4th grader... and this old mama could think of a lot better things to do with her time than trying to monitor her son's 2nd science experiment (Okay, that's a little bit of an understatement--how about rewording that to indicate the mom trying to push, prod, help in every way possible, type, push some more, her son in doing his 2nd infernal, blasted science experiment... Ahh, confession feels good to the soul.)

But I'm happy to say, that somehow, someway, we have completed our 2nd science experiment, and it was relatively successful--at least, it did what it was supposed to do. We're still working on the report, so all bets are off on that score, but the end is in sight, praise God!

And here's what I learned: Don't allow failure to cause you to give up. Life is full of defeat and discouragement, but sometimes you have to ask God to enable you to buck up, push through and go after it again. He is the God of second chances, after all!

The Bible is full of us science-experiment type failures! Ask Moses. Or Jonah. Or Joseph. Or Peter. Or Paul. We fail, but He forgives. We stumble, but He strengthens. We're exhausted, but He enables and empowers. We miss the mark, but He makes all things new. Aren't You thankful He restores and redeems the seemingly unredeemable?

The other day, I wrote about Jonah and his prayer inside the whale. But I stopped before one of my favorite verses in the very next chapter. "Then the word of the Lord came to Jonah the second time, saying, 'Arise, go to Ninevah, that great city, and call out against it the message that I tell you." (3:1-2) Did you see it? The Lord's word "came to Jonah the second time"--God was not through with him yet! Sure, Jonah failed abysmally the first time--he ran in the opposite direction rather than obey God's call. But Jonah repented, God forgave, and God gave him a second chance. And God told Jonah to "Arise, go." You gotta love those two words--the perfect antidote to failure! Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Cancel the pity party on your coach. And get up and get going with whatever God has called you to do!

He is a merciful, gracious, forgiving, loving Savior and Redeemer, and He is the God of second and third and fourth chances to all who will come to Him in faith and repentance. But after He's forgiven the failure, it's time to go back at it again. Ask Him to enable you and guide you and strengthen you to try one more time. Try that science experiment another time! Try a new science experiment! Just don't let failure ever become final. Not when we have such a God who never ever ever gives up on us. To the gracious God of second chances, be all the glory.

Thank You and Yes!

"For all that has been,

Thank you.

For all that is to come,

Yes!"

I love this quote by Dag Hammarskjold, a Swedish diplomat, economist and author who was the Secretary-General of the United Nations until his death in a plane crash in 1961. He was posthumously awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.

Paul put it this way: "Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Phil.4:4-7

Will I ever learn to do this? To rejoice always, in every circumstance: every sorrow, every frustration, every disappointment as well as every victory, every joy, every blessing? It truly does mean looking back and looking around and saying "thank you" to whatever God has allowed in my life and the lives of those I love. To trust that His plans and His ways are truly and ultimately always always always perfect and pleasing and right. And then to look ahead with faith and trust that He who knows all and can do all, will only allow what is ultimately for His glory and our good. Therefore, we can say "Yes!" with peace and assurance and conviction.

But the only way we can ever do this is to daily, hourly, moment by moment, take everything to Him in prayer--with thanksgiving. In that moment of discouragement or fear or failure, to breath a prayer to the One who is only a prayer away, asking for Your help, Your guidance, your enabling, Your redeeming power to be at work. And, at the same time, absolutely refuse to be anxious about anything. As in worry about nothing, nada, zip and zero.

Brother, I have such a long, long way to go in this department! My biggest battle with anxiety is my children. I am a professional fretter, worrying and turning my concerns over and over in my mind. Forgive me Lord! What a sure path to joylessness, what an evidence of a lack of faith and trust. Either we will choose to rejoice in all, refuse to be anxious, and commit it all to Him in prayer, with thanksgiving, or we will worry and fret. Why on earth would we choose to worry rather than worship? Why on earth would we choose fretting over rejoicing? Why on earth would we choose to trust in our puny efforts and frantic machinations rather than peacefully and joyfully trusting in the Sovereign Omnipotent Creator of the Universe?

You know, it just really does come down to a moment by moment choice. In any single moment, we can choose to say "Thank You" and "Yes!" and experience joy and peace or we can choose to worry about it, work on it by ourselves, and wring our hands.

Lord, I choose this day to say "Thank You!" for all You have bestowed and withheld. And I choose to say "Yes!" to all You sovereignly choose to bring or to remove. Help me today, hour by hour, minute by minute, to choose rejoicing, prayer, and gratitude. And help me, by the power that raised Christ from the dead and that is at work in me, not to worry about anything, anything at all... 'cause You've got it, Lord. You have TOTALLY got it! And I can rest completely and peacefully in that and in You.

Thank You, Lord! Yes, Lord! To the God of all peace and power and perfection, be all the glory.

Jonah's idols...and ours

Early this morning, while reading the book of Jonah in The One Year Bible, I saw it. How many innumerable times have I heard or read this familiar old story and never seen it? Chalk yet another one up to my total cluelessness! But there it was right there: Jonah sits in the belly of the whale after disobeying God and has a little worship service! Go figure. My way of thinking?--things are not looking, or smelling, too good right about now. But not Jonah. He praises and prays to God, while still inside the fish, mind you, for: "In my distress I called to the Lord, and He answered me. From the depths of the grave I called for help, and You listened to my cry." (Jonah 2:1) There's a lesson right there about the power of trusting prayer and thanksgiving even in the midst of our hopeless hardships.

But here's the part I love-and had somehow never noticed before--"When my life was ebbing away, I remembered You, Lord, and my prayer rose to You, to Your holy temple. Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs. But I, with a song of thanksgiving, will sacrifice to You. What I have vowed I will make good. Salvation comes from the Lord." (Jonah 2:7-9) Jonah is worshipping and thanking God for his salvation even while things still looked mighty hopeless, trapped within the dark , smelly whale. But Jonah now knew His Lord. And he also knew himself and the terrible price he had been paying for clinging to those worthless idols. In the very next verse, once Jonah had learned what the God knew Jonah needed to learn, we're told, "the Lord commanded the fish, and it vomited Jonah onto dry land." (v.10) Again, doesn't sound terribly appealing to me to be vomited out of a smelly fish, but, boy, I bet to Jonah, it was cause for continuing his little worship service! Deliverance out of sin can sometimes be a messy, difficult, unpleasant process... but it sure is glorious on the other side!

But as I read those words, "those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs," I had to ask myself: what idols am I clinging to and what grace, what blessings am I forfeiting because of my insistence on clutching onto those idols for dear life? The thing is, when we cling to those idols, we are the losers! We tend to think God is some divine kill-joy who doesn't want us to enjoy life, but it's just the opposite! He who made us and loves us with infinite abandon, desperately desires that we forsake that which is killing us and costing us His joy and peace and hope and security. It's like that proverbial child playing in a paltry little mud puddle when right before them God is offering the magnificent boundless ocean! He wants us to enjoy infinite, abundant, joyous eternal LIFE, and instead, we hunker down in our little fox holes of idolatry, deluding ourselves into thinking that this is surely better than His precious, glorious gift of LIFE!

So I have to ask: to what idols are you clinging? What habit, what preoccupation, what selfish, secret little thing do you have to have or do or experience to keep you "happy?" It's so easy to see this in other people, isn't it? "O boy, look at her, she is so materialistic!" Or, "he is such a workaholic and is obsessed with success."

But what idols does the Lord long for you to pry from your hands and give to Him? A desire to please other people more than a desire to please God? A need to control everything and everyone? A critical, prideful spirit? An obsession with making sure your children are excelling and succeeding? A continual need to compare yourself or your family or your life with other people? A desire for more stuff or new things or better clothes or house or... whatever? How about a preoccupation with your appearance or your body? Is there some relationship or desire that has become unhealthy and begun to slide into the idolatry category?

Anything, anything, anything we love more than our gracious, great God is an idol. And that idol will cost us dearly--we will forfeit God's amazing grace and His wonderful gifts that He longs to bestow on those whose hearts are fully committed to walking with Him.

Forgive me Lord for those idols in my life! How I long to join Jonah in proclaiming, "But I, with a song of thanksgiving, will sacrifice to You. What I have vowed, I will make good. Salvation comes from the Lord!" Sure, it's a sacrifice to give up some of those long-cherished idols, but look what we gain in return! Salvation. Joy. Peace. Hope. Security. Love. Forgiveness. Grace. Life--abundant, full, infinite, joyous Life.

Might we do it today--sacrifice those idols--with thanksgiving--and watch what our Glorious, Gracious God will do! No telling what we've been forfeiting--isn't it about time to find out? He's ready and waiting. To our Salvation, our Sustainer, our Savior be all the glory.

A Tuesday of Gifts

The harvest moon early this morning greeted me with a gentle, shining reminder of the glory and greatness of our God. Tremendous and perched just above the horizon, it seemed near enough to reach out and grab, yet high enough to inspire awesome wonder at it's Sovereign Creator. A gift.

Walking in the peaceful predawn hours with a couple of friends, the cold, clear air invigorates... as does the gift of fellowship and laughter. More gifts.

And then an impossibly hard exercise class with waaaaaay too many pushups, but with the joy of moving your body and feeling the strength of dormant muscles and more laughter with fellow strugglers. More gifts.

A sweet old black lab to greet me at the door--so happy to see me, as if I had been gone on a long trip and had just returned to a hero's welcome. And if I make him wait a few minutes before taking him outside or fetch his breakfast, well, that is okay with him, because he loves so faithfully and loyally and unconditionally. Boy, there is just nothing like a dog! Gift.

Laughing with my opinionated, wise, sometimes exasperating (because it's marriage involving two sinners!)--but always wonderful--husband. How on earth has he put up with selfish me all these years? Gift!

Hot hot shower when I am chilled to the bone. As I let the water run down steaming and clean, I paused to thank God for such an extravagance. Hot water, clean water, in abundance. We are all just one hurricane or ice storm away from really appreciating what a blessing that is. Gift.

Bible study. Opening God's very words, still warm from His breath, alive and ever new and applicable and life-changing and life-affirming. Guiding, teaching, convicting, encouraging. A love letter from the Sovereign Rock of Ages. GIFT!

And to study the Word with dear women of all ages. All of us seeking to know Him better and walk with Him closer and reflect His Light better. All of them gifts.

Lunch. What can I say?--how incredible to have such an abundance of food and to have an appetite and to eat... and eat... and eat! And, there is, naturally, always chocolate. How often do we take for granted the blessing of food for our families and nourishment for our bodies and enjoyment for our senses? Gift upon gift.

Carpools and rushing around and sometimes I lose perspective and my joy starts to leak out. But He gently reminds me: "This is for the greatest of your treasures." He gave His all, His perfect Son, for me. What could be too much for me to give? O, the privilege of serving and loving them for the short time God has placed them in my life. Surely He could have found a far far far better, more capable, more qualified, more deserving mother for these 5 gifts of ours. But, somehow, impossibly, incredibly, He chose me. Who could ever get over the wonder of that? Sometimes I forget, and I allow my greatest blessings to become my burdens. Forgive me Lord. They are priceless, beautiful treasures from Your extravagant, sovereign hands, and I thank You, thank You thank You. 5 precious Gifts.

And friends texting and emailing and calling and laughing in carpool lines. O what blessings they are! And unlike my family who is stuck with me whether they like it or not, my dear friends choose to love me and put up with me, weaknesses and warts and all. Gift upon Gift upon Gift upon Gift!

So now I sit and marvel at the ceaseless gifts my Lord showers upon me, upon each of us, on just a perfectly ordinary, yet actually extraordinary, day. Just a regular old tuesday. But a tuesday of gifts and more gifts and more gifts straight from His hands. His grace-pierced hands. His loving, laughing hands. His extravagant hands that bless and bless... even upon His often clueless, undeserving children. Might He open our eyes so that we might see--really see--the evidence of His boundless love and infinite grace and divine extravagance showered upon each of us. Every single day. The countless gifts from the gracious Gift-Giver who is Himself, THE Gift. To our Savior, our Gift, be all the glory.

Start Small... but Start Now!

"Start small... but start now."

I heard this the other day. It was attributed to the Puritans, however, with my crummy memory, this may not quite be what the Puritans said... but close enough! Doesn't this just sound like those faithful Puritans, though--simple, yet profoundly true. How often do we think we have to do something perfectly before we can begin? If we can't do something completely or throughly or successfully or in a big, impressive way, then what's the point, we think. If I can't clean out all the clutter by the day after tomorrow, then forget about it. It's hopeless. If I can't have a quiet time every single morning without fail, then I might as well give up. I'm just a failure. If I can't do devotions with my children daily for which they rise up and call me blessed for my wise wonderful insights, then, O well, another fiasco. If our marriages aren't perfection and bliss, if our children aren't stellar superstars in school and behavior and godliness, then we feel like failures and what's the point in even trying. If our work seems to be going nowhere fast or achieving our heart's desire, then maybe it's time to just call it a day, we despair.

But you know what?--that is the enemy talking! Of course, none of us is perfect... never ever will be this side of heaven. Of course, we will fall and faint and falter all along the way of this walking with God. He knows that. And He loves us to pieces anyway! He sent His Son to prove it and to ensure that no matter how many times we fail, now matter how badly we fall, grace and forgiveness and redemption and hope are always always always just a prayer away.

Aren't you thankful we serve a God of second... and third.. and fourth chances? Aren't you thankful that failures are never final as long as we go to our Heavenly Father, our Abba, and ask Him to forgive us and dust us off and enable us to start again?

We might need to "start small" but, boy, we just need to "start now!" Ask Him now to forgive you! Ask Him now to equip you to be a better wife or a better daughter or a better friend. Ask Him now to enable you to start having that quiet time each morning (and start small--even if it's just 5 minutes--He will bless that! He is the God of multiplication and magnification!). Ask Him to help you start now forgiving that person who has hurt you or start cleaning out that material or spiritual or emotional clutter in your life. Ask Him to empower you to start now on that task you dread or push aside that procrastination that is holding you back from doing whatever it is that He has called you to do. Ask Him to help you do devotions today with your children--and even if they are yawning and rolling their eyes, just keep on keeping on, knowing God can work even with our smallest, weakest efforts. After all, it's not about us--it's all about Him. His power. His faithfulness. His wisdom. His glory.

So, whatever it is that has you down and discouraged today--start small, but start now! And watch Him take your little, your insignificant, your faltering and fitful effort, and use it and bless it in ways you may never know. To God be the glory.

The Name... the Only Name

What's in a name? I've been pondering this question as a group of us are grappling with finding a name for our church women's Bible study. I do know God places great value on names in His Word. And I recall the times He renamed some of His choicest servants, because their new nature required a new name. Just to name a few: Abram to Abraham (Gen. 17:5-6 "No longer shall your name be called Abram, but your name shall be Abraham, for I have made you the father of a multitude of nations. I will make you exceedingly fruitful, and I will make you into nations, and kings shall come from you." This, when Abraham was 99 years old and had no biological child with his equally ancient wife Sarah! Such is our God--He calls into being that which is not and He does the humanly impossible but God effortlessly accomplished!) Simon to Peter (John 1:42 "He brought him to Jesus. Jesus looked at him and said, 'So you are Simon the son of John? You shall be called Cephas (which means Peter)." And he became Peter or the "Rock" upon which Jesus would build His church. Mt.16:18) Or Saul to Paul (Acts 13:9 The great persecutor of Christ becomes the great apostle of Christ and brought the Gospel to all us Gentiles.)

So names matter to our Father. But the Lord has convicted me that in all my focus and preoccupation with finding a Bible study name, I've lost sight of THE NAME. His Glorious Name. His omnipotent, omniscient, sovereign Name. The Name that is above every name, and the Name to which one day every creature and every person will bow down. His Name brings conviction and comfort and companionship and courage. His Name divides... and unites. His Name declares judgment... and forgiveness. His Name is righteous wrath... and undeserved mercy and amazing grace.

Early this morning I read: "and those who know Your Name put their trust in You, for You, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You." (Ps.9:10) And (one of my favorites): "Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the Name of the Lord our God." (Ps.20:1) And "With joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation. And you will say in that day: 'Give thanks to the Lord, call upon His Name. make known His deeds among the peoples, proclaim that His Name is exalted.' (Is.12:3-4)

Isn't it just our selfish, prideful tendency to somehow or other make everything about ourselves and our desires? Boy, give me, and my will, a foot, and my prideful self will take a mile! But it's not all about us. It's all about Him and His glorious Name. It's about what He has done for us in Christ Jesus. It's about our Creator and Sustainer and Redeemer and Savior. It's about Him and His Name.

So today, in what are you trusting? Seriously, think about it. Are we trusting in our intellects, our bank accounts, our gifts and abilities, our families or friends, our health, our nation, our leaders, our church attendance, our goodness? None of those are bad things. In fact, they are all good things, some truly great things... but they are all unworthy of our absolute trust. Only in Him. Only in His glorious Name must we place our ultimate and complete trust.

Only His Name must be exalted with our actions, with our words, with our lives.

I have no earthly idea what our Bible study will be called! But, you know, I'm not all tied up in a knot about it anymore, because He's reminded me that only One Name truly matters and must be magnified. Get that Name right and everything else will fall into place! So to The Name that is above every name, our Glorious God, our Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, be all the glory.

Simple Thank You's!

Today I am thankful for... today! What a spectacular day--spring seems to be slipping in like royalty, gently nudging winter out of the way. The light this morning and this evening was breathtaking with it's pristine warm beauty. How I love the light of the dawn or the dust peeking through the bare tree limbs. And the feeling of the sun on your skin--ah, it makes you feel like you've just awoken from a long, restless night and the new day brings fresh hope. Boy, am I ever thankful for this fine day!

Thank You Lord today for the gift of friendship. It sounds so trite--but maybe that's because it's so true. What a gift it is to have friends to divide your burdens and multiply your joys. Friends give us perspective, wisdom, encouragement, laughter, and, well, duh, love. And friends just add so much color and light to our lives.

Thank the Lord for music! I continue to love that song I talked about the other day, "You Lead." "You Lead, I'll follow. Your hands hold my tomorrow. Your grip, your grace, You know the way. You guide me tenderly; When you lead, I'll follow. Just light the way and I'll go... " Just such true and simple yet profound words--for ultimately that is all we have to do--determine daily, hourly, minute by minute, to say to the Savior, "You Lead, I'll follow" Wherever He goes, determine to go there with Him. And if He does not go, neither do we! That means waiting on Him, watching for Him, worshipping Him. And that means we follow... in other words, we FOLLOW! We don't lead--He does. Boy, this is a life-long learning process for me! My tendency is rush ahead and anxiously tap my foot, waiting for the Lord to "catch up." But it's really so simple--He leads, we follow... wherever, whenever, whatever.

Other sources of overflowing gratitude: Thankful for the spectacular Daddy Cardinals. Their vibrant candy apple red thrills me every time! I haven't seen many Cardinals lately, but today I saw several. And they are just beautiful! As I've shared before, whenever I see one, I take it as God's little "I love you" message to me. And I always whisper back, "I love You, too, Lord!"

Thankful for science experiments. Actually, right at the moment, I'm not feeling particularly thankful for them, but if we can ever get water crystals to grow for this experiment, I will be thankful! This reminds me of the need for patience. I'm clearly deficient. We need crystals NOW!

Thankful for laughter.

Thankful for tears of repentance and tears that reflect the gift of depth of feeling.

Thankful for chocolate (no list is complete without it)

Thankful for the beautiful red Camilla bush outside our kitchen door. And thankful Camilla bushes are, apparently, such hardy plants that need no help or tender loving care whatsoever. Big source of gratitude!

Thankful for second chances.

Thankful that the Lord is not through with us yet... and He never gives up on us. Never.

Thankful for the little book of Amos we've studied in Bible study this year. And thankful for Amos' remarkable courage and perseverance and faithfulness.

Thankful that the greatest things in life, truly, are not things. And God's choicest treasures cannot be held or seen or possessed are meant to be sources of rejoicing and gratitude.

Thankful that at some point tonight, I will finally be able to take a steaming hot bath. Bliss. Right up there with chocolate.

Hope you have a blessed day as well. Remember to thank the Lord, the Giver of all good gifts--from Cardinals to Camilla bushes to chocolate to precious loved ones. He is so good. So incredibly, unbelievably, graciously good.

Thank You Lord! To God be the glory.