Cross out the "I!"

                                  Just a little food for weekend thought:
     I've been reading about the lives of several remarkable women.  One of them, Helen Roseveare, was a medial missionary in Africa in the Congo for many years where she founded and built several hospitals and medical training facilities (and in which she also served as a doctor and teacher).   A truly remarkable woman, but her workload was almost unfathomable.
     She writes honestly of the times when her temper would get the best of her or she would grow impatient and snap at those around her due to overwork and exhaustion.  Boy, none of us can imagine what that would be like,  I'm sure!  HA!  Here are her powerful and convicting words after one such incident:

     "I struggled on through a few more frustratingly, irritating weeks.  I knew God was speaking to me, but I would not listen...I piled up the excuses--my over weariness, my taunt nerves, the load of responsibility.
     Then one morning at our Bible study hour, I broke down. The Holy Spirit was working in the hearts of African students and pupils and workmen, but not in my cold, hard heart, and I could bear it no more.
     Suddenly I knew I had to get away from it all and sort myself out and seek God's forgiveness and restoration, if I was to continue in the work.
     Pastor Ndugu [her African pastor] had seen my spiritual need and made all the arrangements for me to go to stay in his village for a long weekend....There he gave me a room, and left me alone.  I sought God's face for two unhappy days, but I could find no peace...I knew I was quite unworthy of the title 'missionary.'
     Sunday evening, Pastor Ndugu called me out to the fireside where he and his wife, Tamoma, were sitting... We prayed.  A great still silence wrapped us around....
     Opening his Bible at Galatians 2:20, he drew a straight line in the dirt floor with his heel.  'I,' he said, 'the capital I in our lives, Self, is the great enemy...
     Helen...the trouble with you is that we can see so much of Helen that we cannot see Jesus.'
     ...My eyes filled with tears.
     'I notice that you drink much coffee,' he continued...apparently going off on a tangent.  'When they bring a mug to you...you stand there  holding it, until it is cool enough to drink.  May I suggest that every time, as you stand and wait, you should just lift your heart to God and pray...' and as he spoke, he moved his heel in the dirt across the I he had previously drawn,  '[and say] Please God, cross out the I.'
     There in the dirt was his lesson of simplified theology--the Cross--the crossed-out I life...'I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.' (Gal. 2:20)"

     Lord, how often does that reflect me?  Do folks fail to see Jesus because they see far too much "I?"  O how prone we are to crave applause, or even just appreciation rather than desiring that Christ be magnified in our lives.  And isn't our irritability or impatience with others--whether our family members or simply that slow driver in front of us--simply an indication of our uncrucified egos?  Of our (or at least my) selfish desire to ultimately get our own way?
      This reminds me of a line from a Chris Tomlin song..."It will be my joy to say: Your will, Your way."  Can we say that?  Can we truly say, "Father, it would be my joy for You to have Your will, Your way--whatever that will and way might mean--in my life and the lives of those I love?
     Pastor Ndugu was so right--we have to die to ourselves.  We have to daily, hourly ask God to cross out the "I" in our lives so that we can live cross-centered lives.  It's the Gal.2:20 life of being crucified with Christ so that Christ lives in us.
     But here's the thing--when we die to ourselves and cross out the I, we will discover that we truly live!  Eternal, abundant, joyous Life, with a capital "L!"
     So Father, a simple prayer, but a life-changing one: Help us this day to "cross out the I" so that others see not the "I" but Jesus.  Might we die to our selfishness, unkindness, impatience, and irritability.  Might we desire to reflect Jesus far more than we need to be right.  O Father, help others to see Jesus as we, by Your grace and for Your glory,  cross out the "I!"
     To God be the glory.