I'm blaming this detour on the Lord--He keeps gently, but insistently, tapping me on the shoulder, reminding me of this special day...and of all He teaches us through suffering...and of His faithfulness...and of His grace to bring us through whatever He allows in our lives.
You see, on the day after Labor Day two years ago, Janie first began to awaken from her coma. She had just been moved from Greenville to Chapel Hill by what was essentially a traveling ICU. Amazing.
The doctors warned us that the trip would be hard on her. And they were right. When Janie arrived in Chapel Hill her temperature shot up to 110 degrees. I didn't even realize you could survive a temperature that high. We were back close to home--praise God--near our immediate family, my brothers and sisters, and our friends. But Janie was still unconscious, struggling to breathe, and with an infection, a badly shattered ankle, no movement on her right side, and an extraordinarily high fever. It was a tough time. By all accounts, nothing signaled any hope of change or improvement, but still...home.
And then in that dark moment, when it had appeared she'd taken a big step back, in the very early hours of the day after Labor Day, it happened. Isn't that how God often works? It truly is darkest just before the dawn. Around 2:00 a.m. my husband glanced at Janie's face as the nurses were tending to her...and seemed to see her eyelids suddenly flutter and then crack open just the tiniest bit.
I cannot write about it even now--too many tears of wonder and gratitude. But Richard said the nurses rushed up to her face and began shouting to her, "Janie, Janie, can you hear me? Janie, if you can hear me, wiggle your toes." And there it was--faint, weak, but nonetheless clearly a little movement of her toes.
It was the beginning of the most extraordinary few days of our lives--where we stood amazed as we witnessed God slowly awaken and raise our blond-haired Lazarus seemingly from the dead and bring her back to her family and friends. I'll never forget the first time I saw her awaken for a minute or two. The nurse yelled her name and told her if she could understand, to give us a thumbs up. And there it was--my forever favorite sign--a small, weak, but beautiful, thumbs up with her left hand. (She still couldn't use her right side at that point.) I wanted to dance down the halls with the joy of it--thumbs up to the One who had sustained us by His grace through every up and down of the whole ordeal and thumbs up to the One who, in His sovereignty, had allowed Janie to awaken.
I share this once again, because we have several dear friends who are going through a very difficult season right now. Richard and I have talked a lot recently about all that God taught us and all the ways He powerfully used this time of suffering in our lives. Stripping away the extraneous and the sinful. Teaching us dependence, contentment, trust. Giving us depths of compassion, empathy and love for others we'd never had before. Scouring away those chokeholds of pride, preoccupation, and selfishness.
We will never be the same for the things He taught us, the ways He carried us, and the grace and mercy He extended to us in those dark times. We wouldn't trade any of the suffering, because of all the gifts, all the good that God brought out of it.
But oh my, I so want others who are struggling to know that your suffering is not wasted--that God works best in the darkness and He will teach, refine, and draw you closer to Himself as never before in those moments of hardship...if you'll let Him.
David Jeremiah calls these unexpected times of suffering or difficulty "disruptive moments"--when life takes an unexpected, unwanted turn...due to disappointment or disease or accident or betrayal or suffering of any kind. Jeremiah has quoted a poem by Helen Steiner Rice about these disruptive moments, or what she refers to as "a bend in the road." Here are her words--
Sometimes we come to life's crossroads
And we view what we think is the end.
But God has a much wider vision
And He knows that it's only a bend--
The road will go on and get smoother
And after we've stopped for a rest,
The path that lies hidden beyond us
Is often the path that is best.
So rest and relax and grow stronger,
Let go and let God share your load
And have faith in a brighter tomorrow--
You've just come to a bend in the road.
Please forgive me for talking about the accident again, but we've prayed all along that God would use this to encourage others who are struggling and that His mighty name would be lifted high and glorified.
God is more than enough to guide you through whatever storm you're enduring. Look to Him, depend upon Him, seek Him, trust Him. Don't waste your suffering. God will use it in ways far beyond anything you can imagine--in your life and in the lives of other people whose names you may never know until you reach heaven. Oh my, how that redeems our suffering.
God's Word, of course, says it best--
"Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart." (Ps.27:14)
"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will uphold you, yes, I will help you. I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." (Isa.41:10)
"Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. Therefore strengthen the feeble hands which hang down and the feeble knees" (Heb.12:11-12).
In our disruptive moments, in those bends in the road, might we all turn our eyes upon Jesus, in dependence and trust, knowing that He is ever moving and working out all things for our ultimate good and His greater glory. We may, or may not, see it this side of heaven...but we will see it...and He will make all things beautiful in His time.
"When peace, like a river, attendeth my way; When sorrows like sea billows roll; Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say, It is well, it is well with my soul."
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